The Game of Life

[Dace]

Pld women.

Pld Liz for being a woman.

Pld Liz for playing me.

Pld me for being played.

Can you guess how this story is going to work out?



Last time we checked the hero of the story (that's me btw) had just written on an internet forum about his "adventures" and was heading back to Glasgow.

To his flat.

Then work.

And after that a "date".

Things looked good at this point.



So i get into Glasgow and on my way to the flat i go and buy some wine.

I ask the guy behind the counter for some advice (i know pretty much **** all about wine) and he recommends a "cheeky little number" (not his exact words) and i go "fine".

Just as we're going back to the counter the guy tells me the wine is 14%.



"Ahhhhhhhh" says i

"Do you have anything less strong?"

"I don't want someone thinking i'm trying to get her drunk."



Anyways turns out that Chardony tends to be quite strong (11.5% at the weakest).

I settled for a 12.5% wine.

I go to the counter.

The assistant informs me that i'm "a true gentleman".

I just think that i don't want to repeat my previous mistake.



I go to my flat.

I walk in the door and my sister tells me that Liz phoned "at about mid-day".

This cannot be good news.

I phoned her the previous night to check everything was still fine.

She knew i was phoning her later that night.

I knew she was out last night.

What kind of person phones at mid-day when they are likely to be hung over still when they don't have to?!

Something must have happened.

I'm to phone her.

I get changed and go to work.



I phone Liz from work.

She's:

"tired"

"got a family dinner on tonight"

"got to go home after the dinner with her parents 'cause her Gran is staying with her folks 'cause she's ill"

"sorry"

"not going to be seeing me"



I'm to phone her tho.

We'll "arrange something for the weekend".

We'll go to the cinema and "yes 'Lost in Translation' sounds fine".



I already knew about the family dinner.

The family dinner hadn't stopped us arranging the date.

Her parents live in Jordanhill.

For the unknowing of you out there Jordanhill is not very far from where her flat is.

"Why can't she just delay seeing her Gran for 12 hours and keep her date with me" thinks i.

It can't be a serious illness. If it was Liz would have known about it before Tuesday. Also if it was sudden and bad her gran would be in hospital not at home."

"Liz is a lying bitch. It's what she's know for" my brother had warned me when he initially found out i was gonna see her.

I thought i could handle it.

I thought being good at spotting lies would have helped me.

It didn't.



After work i go home and drink 2/3rds of the 70cl bottle of vodka that was burning a hole in my cupboard.



That was Wednesday.



On Thursday i went to the cinema to book a sofa (student type cinema in the west end has 3 sofas at the back of the screening rooms) for the Saturday night.

I book the sofa.

As i'm leaving i hear the girl in the que behing me ask if "That was the last sofa for [the showing i booked to see] that had just been sold"

It was.

I felt that my luck was starting to turn.



That was Thursday.



On Friday i phone Liz "just to confirm".

I phone her during my break.

My break starts at 8.

Apparantly i'm interrupting her viewing of "Easties".

Apparantly "Easties" means "Eastenders".



The phonecall is short (about 5 minutes).

We arrange to meet in a pub before the cinema.

The final details are left till Saturday to be arranged.

Liz happens to tell me that she had gone out on Thursday night with her brother and some of her brothers friends to see her brothers friends band or something.

Clenching my teeth i ask her if she had fun.



That was Friday.



On Saturday i phone Liz to tell her where and when we're to meet.

During the conversation she happens to tell me that she went to the cinema the night before.

She went with a guy.

Just her and one guy.

"It's okay tho" because they "didn't sit together".



"Ho, ho, ho" thinks i.

"Ho f*cking ho".

This is not necessarily a Santa impression.



Liz also tells me that the family of one of her flatmates (Jenny) is staying at the flat tonight.

As such she (Liz) and Jenna will be sharing a room (and a bed) to make space.

Jenna has a boyfriend and because i don't know how big he is i decline to broach the subject of a threesome.



The remainder of my bottle of vodka is drunk whilst i'm getting ready.



I get to the pub and i'm 5 minutes late.

Liz is already there.

Liz is drinking a peach schnapps and lemonade.

After discovering she doesn't want another drink atm i order myself a vodka and coke.

I'm tempted to make it a double but resist the urge.



We have 25 minutes before the showing starts.

The cinema is right across the lane.

Liz "just want[s] a coke".

I get myself another vodka.

Again it's only a single.



We go into the cinema.

Liz's body language has been "distant" so far.

I don't think it's ever a good sign when the girls eyes look everwhere but your face when you're talking to your date.



10 minutes into the film i decide to be "brave" and hold her hand.

She holds my hand.

From time to time she strokes it (with the thumb of her hand that holds mine).

She never takes her eyes off the screen.

"Lost in Translation" is THAT good a film.



After the film we go to a pub.

Liz is still drinking "just coke".

Liz tells me that Jenna's boyfriend is suddenly no longer "out of town".

This means that Jenna wont be giving up her bed.

Liz will be going back to her folks tonight.

She phoned her brother earlier and he's coming to pick her up from the flat later.

If things had gone differently i might have asked her if she wanted to stay the night at mine.

As it was i didn't.

I didn't like the "feel of the situation".



We leave the pub.

Liz takes hold of my hand.

I walk her home.



As we arrive at the flat so does Jenna's boyfriend.

Liz talks to him for a minute or so.

"I'll see you upstairs in a minute" says Liz

The genius that i am i hear the difference between the word "I'll" and "We'll".

It appears that i wont be invited in.



I peck Liz on the lips.

"What's the matter" asks Liz.

"Nothing" i replied.

"Call me next week" she says.

"Sure" i say.

I peck her on the lips again.

I leave.



The offy on Byres Road is open till midnight on a Friday and Saturday night.

I buy a half bottle of vodka.

On of the 3 employees there asks me "What do you think is the best way of getting rid of a body".

It's like he's reading my mind.

"How long do you have to plan/organise it" i ask.

"As long as you want" he replies.

"We'll you've got to disolve the body then. Acid or some such".

I realise i need a mixer too.

I buy some pepsi and leave.



I go home and finish the bottle of vodka.



THE END

[Baron Morte]

Dear Diary....

[Dace]

Apologises for the concluding part of the story not being as funny as the previous two but i don't think there's much funny about it (unless you're laughing at me and my situation).

Also ... does anyone else think her actions are a bit ****ed up?

If she doesn't want to see me why does she keep on wanting to go on dates with me?



****ING WOMEN!



I have already decided not to phone her btw.

I don't like being made a fool of.

I think that's what she's doing to me.

[ChubbyChecker]

mmm.. I was expecting something a little more heart wrenching (for you)

Where are the lies? Where's the deceit? Where's the "I walked in and there she was, being rogered by three blokes all at the same time"?!?!?

Maybe on next week's episode.

[Nicole]

Your life is hard. I don't understand why this is so difficult for you.

[Dace]

Originally Posted by Baron Morte

Dear Diary....

How fickle GD is.

[Baron Morte]

Originally Posted by Dace

**** off

Ok.
Gonerz....

[Structural Integrity]

Great story...
But it's Monday now, anything else happened?

[Dante Hicks]

Quite clearly you should have screwed her half-comatosed body in the last installment.

Sorry to hear that though

[Lupin]

i also wouldnt like to have a boyfriend who just drinks vodka all the day.

[Dace]

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

:(

Quite clearly you should have screwed her half-comatosed body in the last installment.

Sorry to hear that though :(

The last installment or even the first one.

Either/Or.

I'm angry at myself more than anything.

My dick hates me.

My virginity is starting to grow back.

[Lupin]

Originally Posted by Dace

Apologises for the concluding part of the story not being as funny as the previous two but i don't think there's much funny about it (unless you're laughing at me and my situation).

Also ... does anyone else think her actions are a bit ****ed up?

If she doesn't want to see me why does she keep on wanting to go on dates with me?

i am not sure but i guess she doesnt want to hurt you.

Originally Posted by Dace

****ING WOMEN!



I have already decided not to phone her btw.

I don't like being made a fool of.

I think that's what she's doing to me.

call her and tell her that you dont want to made a fool. than you really will know what she thinks about you.

[Grimble v2.0]

I'm lolling online at Dace and his situation.

[Dace]

Originally Posted by Lupin

i am not sure but i guess she doesnt want to hurt you.

Eh?

Originally Posted by Lupin

call her and tell her that you dont want to made a fool. than you really will know what she thinks about you.

That's not going to happen.

[KaneED]

Originally Posted by Dace

(unless you're laughing at me and my situation).

[Lupin]

gnah..

if i understood it correct, she gave you the impression that she had no feelings about you. BUT she never told you that in the face. this could mean that she isnt brave enuff to tell you. it also could mean something complete different.

--

what do you want to do than? sittin in your room and try to forgot her? sittin in your room dying in self-sympathy?

do it and you'll get an answer.

[Deepflow]

women suck

youve just destroyed the last 6 months of recovery from the bitchiness that is womankind.

kill them all!

[Baron Morte]

Originally Posted by Deepflow

women suck

youve just destroyed the last 6 months of recovery from the bitchiness that is womankind.

kill them all!

Hold on that thought buddy!!!

[Dace]

Originally Posted by Lupin

what do you want to do than? sittin in your room and try to forgot her? sittin in your room dying in self-sympathy?

I'll forget her easily enough.

I am not dying of self-sympathy.

I'm just pissed off that i was played tis all.

[JC]

Things were going so well in the preious installment, poor Dace .

Cant live with 'em cant live without 'em .

[Dace]

But mostly can't live with them.

[Leshy]

Originally Posted by Grimble v2.0

I'm lolling online at Dace and his situation.

[Ste]

Confront her.
Women are terrible at lying in my experience (however in reality I'll never know for sure!)

Make her feel really guilty. Slap her around a bit and dump her. then shag her best mate.
Always the best way.

[JBOY]

did it occur to you that she was incredibly embarrased about being so pished last time and didnt know how to react to you?

and you being as distant to her as she was to you possibly made her feel uncomfortable. That perhaps her not drinking was her trying to be totally away from the alcahol unlike last time, and you drinking may have made it look like you were trying to get her pished again...............

phone the girl for ****s sake, she seems nice enough, and probably just doesnt know what to do after the getting pished ness...

[Spearhead]

yeah and good luck! you'll need it!
btw think possitive, maybe she's just not a floozy .... and then my friend you are lucky!
if she is playing you dump her

[Dace]

Originally Posted by JBOY

did it occur to you that she was incredibly embarrased about being so pished last time and didnt know how to react to you?

Fair point.

Originally Posted by JBOY

and you being as distant to her as she was to you possibly made her feel uncomfortable. That perhaps her not drinking was her trying to be totally away from the alcahol unlike last time, and you drinking may have made it look like you were trying to get her pished again...............

I wasn't distant to her.

Originally Posted by JBOY

phone the girl for ****s sake, she seems nice enough, and probably just doesnt know what to do after the getting pished ness...

OK to summarise (contains new info too):

I gave her space because she had exams.

She tells me she did 1 hour revision for one and none for the other (she read a bit of back ground stuff but not much).

She went out on Tuesday.

She cancelled our "date" on Wednesday

She went out on Thursday.

She went out on Friday (to the cinema with a guy).

She's "not worth it".

[JBOY]

probably not, and was it me, i'd abandon ship, but, tbh, it's been a rather fascinating tale, and it should continue for the good of GD.

[Dace]

STATUS UPDATE



My brother has just informed me that the night i met her she had gone to The Garage to meet someone else (a guy) and had just dinghied them.

If there was any doubt (and after Jboys original post there might have been) there's not now.

God damn but this seems so Teenage angsty.

[Dace]

Originally Posted by JBOY

probably not, and was it me, i'd abandon ship, but, tbh, it's been a rather fascinating tale, and it should continue for the good of GD.

It's ok.

I'll start a new saga for GD.

I have nothing planned yet but i'm sure if i get drunk enough something will happen.

[JBOY]

after all your sensitivity malarky, she probably thinks you are gay.

[Dace]

Originally Posted by JBOY

after all your sensitivity malarky, she probably thinks you are gay.

Well i've decided that that's gonna be the last time i try that approach.

From now on if sex is offered* im going to take it.

NO MATTER HOW DRUNK I AM!












*by a woman

[Dace]

Because there might be confusion ...



[15:31:25] <JBOY> right
[15:31:28] <JBOY> Dinghied
[15:31:33] <JBOY> is a fifer term
[15:31:40] <JBOY> for nutting someone
[15:32:24] <JBOY> yet
[15:32:25] <JBOY> dace
[15:32:30] <JBOY> you appear to have used it
[15:32:32] <JBOY> hopefully
[15:32:35] <JBOY> in a different context
[15:34:54] <Dace^> dinghied
[15:34:56] <Dace^> means
[15:35:00] <Dace^> getting rid off
[15:35:01] <Dace^> like
[15:35:03] <Dace^> abondoning
[15:35:16] <Dace^> you normally dinghy a person
[15:35:22] <Dace^> but you can dinghy a job too
[15:35:29] <Dace^> YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
[15:35:43] <JBOY> yah
[15:36:22] <JBOY> My brother has just informed me that the night i met her she had gone to The Garage to meet someone else (a guy) and had just dinghied them.
[15:36:38] <JBOY> dumped
[15:36:39] <JBOY> ?
[15:37:17] <Dace^> nah
[15:37:28] <Dace^> just left him there
[15:37:31] <Dace^> left without him
[15:37:36] <Dace^> without even meeting i think

[Dante Hicks]

When I saw "dinghied" I instantly thought abandoned yet I've never heard the term. It seems fairly logical.

[Dace]

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

When I saw "dinghied" I instantly thought abandoned yet I've never heard the term. It seems fairly logical.

Logical except to fifers.

[madi]

Originally Posted by JBOY

after all your sensitivity malarky, she probably thinks you are gay.

this is pretty much what i was going to say

you didnt bang her when she was pissed
and then you dont make passes at her all night on a sofa at the back of the movies

[Deepflow]

i think we are drifting off the point here...

which is... women suck

[Dace]

Originally Posted by madi

you didnt bang her when she was pissed

Because she said no and what am i meant to do rape her?!

Originally Posted by madi

and then you dont make passes at her all night on a sofa at the back of the movies

I actually made a few (holding hands, kissed her, arm round her etc) but as i crashed and burned so badly i didn't really want to tell GD about it (but **** it now).

[Dace]

Originally Posted by Deepflow

i think we are drifting off the point here...

which is... women suck

Or unfortunately dont.

[Deepflow]

was lost in translation any good then?

[JBOY]

Originally Posted by Dace

Logical except to fifers.

I'm quite happy to dismiss that statement with a simple put down.


i have a girlfriend, and you do not

[Dace]

It was ok actually.

[Dace]

Originally Posted by JBOY

I'm quite happy to dismiss that statement with a simple put down.


i have a girlfriend, and you do not

I can get a girlfriend you however will ALWAYS be a fifer.

[Kurashima]

The following should be the Dace tactic for the next 7 days

• Dace will get plenty of alcohol into the house
• Dace will go about his business like he normally would if he was single
• Dace will not call Liz. If Liz is interested (and you know shes fobbing you off Rankin) then Liz will phone Dace
• Dace will arrange a time and a place to meet that is VERY DIFFICULT INDEED TO KEEP
• If Liz isnt stringing Dace along, Liz will make it to this meeting place
• If Liz is stringing Dace along, Liz will find an excuse.
• Dace will then consume the remainder of the alcohol and not answer the phone for 24 hours.

Teh Win!

[Dace]

Alternatively i could just get my sister to screen my calls and be "out" all the time.

Seems easier.

I don't think Liz'll call anyway.

[IncubusGod]

Dace,thanks for a truely enthralling storyline over the past few weeks. I look forward to hearing about your next project

Hehe,listen,women can be like that. We're never gonna know whats in their heads at any given moment and they are constantly analysing you while your analysiing them which creates some monsterous infinite loop which can only end in crashing and burning.

I've had a somewhat similar expereince as that. If your resigned to not seeing her again the it's best not to think about it and go try for another girlie.
Your on a roll now since you've had all this contact. Y'know the way your always more attractive to girls when your not available? Well you might still have some of that lingering 'taken' vibe.
Use it fast!

Hehe

Anway,whatever happens good luck m8.
(plus this should suspend the phedo jokes for at least...3minutes...)

[LHC]

Originally Posted by Grimble v2.0

I'm lolling online at Dace and his situation.

[JonnyBGood]

Shit deal man. Jboy probably had something but to be honest I'd just forget about it all if I was you. On the plus side this has been the best sequence of events I've heard of on the internet in quite a while!

[Aryn]

:\ dace

you could set up another date.. then call her back the day of, or the day before and say you can't make it cause of some stupid reason.. if she tries to make another date, then you'll know. if not, oh well.

[Grimble v2.0]

Originally Posted by Dace

Because she said no and what am i meant to do rape her?!

Suprise Sex! :gollum:

[Tomkat]

You might just be paranoid you know Dace.
There might be nothing more to it.

If she was trying to let it go, she'd not hold your hand or anything.

Do what you're doing atm - DON'T phone her. Let her come to you. Girls will play you along when they know you're keen and give them loads of attention. How often do you phone/text her normally?

PS: vodka is disgusting.