Planetarion Forums

ChubbyChecker · 26 Jul 2004, 18:11

I've got a BIG dilemma here.
My boss's 16 yr old daughter has started working with me. Maybe it's the proximity, I dunno, but I'm starting to fancy her! Worst part is, she's not even that attractive!

So, what do I do? I've already considered the sensible option of wanking furiously under the table to ease the sexual tension but I think people might notice if I do that. So help me GD, tell me what to do!

And I am a lot older than 16, so yes, I am a paedo.

ciao.

Deffeh · 26 Jul 2004, 18:14

Just wank off furiously before and after work. I find it lowers my sex drive around people, therefore im less likely to make a fool of myself.

Leshy · 26 Jul 2004, 18:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChubbyChecker

And I am a lot older than 16, so yes, I am a paedo.

Build a basement.

1-X · 26 Jul 2004, 18:28

maybe you'll be welcomed into the family and promoted?

MrL_JaKiri · 26 Jul 2004, 18:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leshy

Build a basement.

With a nice pit in it?

It puts the lotion on its skin, et cetera.

Dante Hicks · 26 Jul 2004, 18:37

Nothing wrong with finding 16 year old's attractive.

But if she's not attractive then just wank twice in the mornings (you might need to set your alarm a bit earlier to do this).

Kurashima · 26 Jul 2004, 18:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deffeh

Just wank off furiously before and after work. I find it lowers my sex drive around people, therefore im less likely to make a fool of myself.

So youre not breaking the habit of a lifetime, merely cutting back to morning, noon and night eh?

Deffeh · 26 Jul 2004, 19:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kurashima

So youre not breaking the habit of a lifetime, merely cutting back to morning, noon and night eh?

I dont count or record how often i do. Its probably a shit load more than average though.

However,

Since its all in private, and since after a wank the thing i want least in the world for a few hours, is another wank, i dont come off* as sleazy, a pervert, and i dont think with my cock.

Oh, but if i forget to, im a chauvanistic sleaze. Wanking is more of a chore than anything.

*lolomglol

ChubbyChecker · 26 Jul 2004, 20:42

I knew I was on the right track with the whole wanking off furiously idea.

Thanks GD, you saved my job!

KaneED · 26 Jul 2004, 20:44

people always insist on asking stupid question

Sunday8pm · 26 Jul 2004, 20:44

I say use her to find someone hotter who's looking for guys who can handle relatoinships and not be vain [/shallowhal]

Ste · 26 Jul 2004, 21:47

ask her if she has any fit single friends.
that would be much more acceptable.

IncubusGod · 26 Jul 2004, 23:23

Speaking from experience, the bosses daughter is a bad bad bad bad bad bad idea. I almost lost my job over some 'fraternisation' with the bosses daughter and she was 19 and I was 21.
I wouldn't like to think what might happen with a 16 year old involved.

Think about all the things that are unattractive about her, go out of your way to get pissed off by her every move/word/look. Then you should be ok.

Either that or find another girl to stalk.

Deathjam|wee · 27 Jul 2004, 00:08

picture needed

Inferno · 27 Jul 2004, 02:46

Alternatively think of her as shemale.

No, I dont use that method in my life. Just thought it might work.

madi · 27 Jul 2004, 09:37

why should the wanking be furious?
whats wrong with leisurely?

Zaphod I · 27 Jul 2004, 09:53

16 years old unattractive boss's daughter? Maybe you should just go out more...

or at least do your wanking somewhere less public than under the table

-Zaps

ChubbyChecker · 27 Jul 2004, 11:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by madi

why should the wanking be furious?
whats wrong with leisurely?

Leisurely don't pay the bills!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zaphod I

16 years old unattractive boss's daughter? Maybe you should just go out more...

That's a good idea. But more of a long term solution I think. I'll add it to my to do list.

IncubusGod · 27 Jul 2004, 11:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by madi

why should the wanking be furious?
whats wrong with leisurely?

This isn't one of your fancy, girlie, get into a hot bath with some candles, play some relaxing music and fantasise about Brad Pitt's car breaking down in front of your house, him asking for help and you cleverly seducing him into a night of slow sensual love making with even more candles and roses, secented flowers and champagne, kinda masturbation session. This is more of an emergency, get it over and done with so you wont desire sex for a period of time, kinda wanking. Hence furious' is the only way to go!

Pffh. Women.

Dante Hicks · 27 Jul 2004, 11:58

Also, since this is before work he might miss the bus if he's too leisurely.

pablissimo · 27 Jul 2004, 18:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by IncubusGod

This isn't one of your fancy, girlie, get into a hot bath with some candles, play some relaxing music and fantasise about Brad Pitt's car breaking down in front of your house, him asking for help and you cleverly seducing him into a night of slow sensual love making with even more candles and roses, secented flowers and champagne, kinda masturbation session. This is an emergency

With that tiny edit I say

POTW

Marilyn Manson · 27 Jul 2004, 18:35

Eat hideous amounts of food, then completely lose any notion of morality or decency in your bloated state. Proceed to force yourself upon her and ravish the girl in your office, and proceed to be discovered by a cleaner, and subsequently be arrested by the police. Go to jail and don't forget to drop us a postcard.

There is no other option!

pablissimo · 27 Jul 2004, 18:38

Because I've been staring at a pc screen all day, and in an attempt to be rude for rudeness's sake, I thought that said 'ravish the girl's orifice'. By which I thought you meant 'Go to town on her ass, Lips McKensie'.

ps would she look hot in big shoes?

Marilyn Manson · 27 Jul 2004, 18:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by pablissimo

Because I've been staring at a pc screen all day, and in an attempt to be rude for rudeness's sake, I thought that said 'ravish the girl's orifice'. By which I thought you meant 'Go to town on her ass, Lips McKensie'.

I was only outlining the basic details of the plan. Which parts of the girl Chubby ravishes is entirely up to him.

pablissimo · 27 Jul 2004, 18:41

Drilling for OIL

Marilyn Manson · 27 Jul 2004, 18:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by pablissimo

Drilling for OIL

Do clowns naturally produce oil?

pablissimo · 27 Jul 2004, 18:46

How else would they all fit in a tiny car? They have natural lubrications, you fat smelly eyes.

Marilyn Manson · 27 Jul 2004, 18:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by pablissimo

How else would they all fit in a tiny car?

Pagan wizardy. I assumed they had the females dance around naked in the moonlight wearing animal masks, proceed to smear themselves with blackberries, and then penetrate the males using strap-on dildos. And this allowed them to use their evil witchcraft to entertain the children, thus cleverly hiding their crimes behind a veneer of respectability.

Or did I dream that.

pablissimo · 27 Jul 2004, 18:54

Can the women be dressed as clowns?

Look, seriously, I'd forgotten all about this until you ****ing mentioned it in that other thread and now all I can think about is the great looking, fantastically pleasant student girl I work with dressed as a ****ing children's entertainer. And when I see her tomorrow I'm going to be ****ing humming the circus music, and then she's going to ask why, and then I'm going to say 'if I buy you a rainbow wig, big shoes and white face paint can I do you over the sink' and then she'll probably reject me and I don't need that.

ps We've derailed this but I brought it back by mentioning some bird at work I fancy which ties into this theme somewhat so when someone (no names) pedantifies the thread they can read this aloud and tell themselves to **** off and die so I don't have to