31 Jan 2006, 20:36
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#1
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
When I was in Exeter a couple of weekends ago, we ended up in a nightclub.
Lots of drunk students around, so hormones were running high.
So were emotions.
We spotted this girl in the corner who was having a big argument with her (we assume) boyfriend. We didn't know either of them.
Now being kind, caring and considerate gentlemen (and because we were drunk and it was funny) we captured the immortal moments of the dumping on digital camera.
I apologise for there being an arm in the 2nd picture, and my friend's head in the 3rd. We had to do it covertly, so pretended to take pictures of each other, and then move the camera quickly to follow the events occurring.
Pay close attention now:
Picture 1 - Realisation. She's just been hit with the news, and is breaking down. He isn't sure what to do, so is trying to soften the blow. (plus cameo from my friend Tim)
Picture 2 - Anger. She's let it sink in now, and how DARE he dump her? Check out that CLAW!! That's pure hatred right there, fellas.
Picture 3 - Acceptance. The anger has passed now, and she's almost apathetic. It's over, and she realises it. The guy is just wondering if it'd be inappropriate for him to stop sitting with her now, and try to pull her friend.
So there you go guys. Prepare for the three stages - especially stage 2 (I can't get over the claw) - Realisation, Anger and Acceptance.
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
Last edited by furball; 7 Nov 2007 at 19:37.
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31 Jan 2006, 20:37
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#2
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
1) find a girlfriend
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31 Jan 2006, 20:39
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#3
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Aardvark is a funny word
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: I'm No Nino Rota
Posts: 5,923
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
your friend is ugly.
__________________
Efficiency, efficiency they say
Get to know the date and tell the time of day
As the crowds begin complaining
How the Beaujolais is raining
Down on darkened meetings on the Champs Élysées
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31 Jan 2006, 20:40
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#4
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Jazz Man
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,494
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
you so need to find yourself some action dude....
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Marv
Ex ROCK HC & PA Team Head of Support.
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31 Jan 2006, 20:42
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#5
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
your friend is ugly.
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I'll let him know!!
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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31 Jan 2006, 20:44
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#6
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1up on you
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Birmingham, UK
Posts: 4,007
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Genius, ill try it out if "we are still friends" come friday or I could try jbgs suggestiong of cumming in her eye whilst telling her shes dumped, plus recording it.
__________________
pig
[ 1u p]
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31 Jan 2006, 20:48
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#7
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Aardvark is a funny word
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: I'm No Nino Rota
Posts: 5,923
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
I'll let him know!!
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__________________
Efficiency, efficiency they say
Get to know the date and tell the time of day
As the crowds begin complaining
How the Beaujolais is raining
Down on darkened meetings on the Champs Élysées
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31 Jan 2006, 20:51
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#8
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
tomkat, youre a bastard, but youre my kind of bastard
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lazy
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31 Jan 2006, 21:25
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#9
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☆ ♥
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 3,489
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Is it me or does she seem quite fiesty and attractive when she does that claw thing? With her mood at the time, sex would only be advised if you can handle the claw.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pig
Genius, ill try it out if "we are still friends" come friday or I could try jbgs suggestiong of cumming in her eye whilst telling her shes dumped, plus recording it.
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After sex go "well that was shit". Real mind-blower will leave them freaked out for weeks
__________________
R3: LegioN (came #32) || R4: BlueTuba
R5: WolfPack Order || R6: Wolfpack
R7: Fury
----------retired-------
R52-R55: Apprime
R56-R57: FaceLess
R58-60: Apprime/Ultores
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31 Jan 2006, 21:37
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#10
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 37
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
You are all heartless bastards.
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31 Jan 2006, 21:41
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#11
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
lancer isn't doing so well at this "fitting in on the forums" thing
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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31 Jan 2006, 21:44
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#12
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Swansea
Posts: 798
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
harsh but funny
__________________
In Elysium till the end.
Former [1up]
Current [Spore]
Returned under the IRC nick BenSwansea
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31 Jan 2006, 21:45
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#13
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 37
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
I believe, in order to do that I need to look at someone's pain and have fun. Sorry, I am still human.
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31 Jan 2006, 21:46
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#14
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Dum Di Dum Di
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 858
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Yeah, lancer used 'You are' instead of 'your' even though 'You are' was clearly the correct form.
Somebody ought to tell him.
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31 Jan 2006, 21:53
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#15
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U've been Moderated
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: getting sex0red by pretty women
Posts: 1,510
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
lol that's ace tk ![Smile](images/smilies/smile.gif) )
__________________
Titans forever and ever.
<Forest> i fuc*ing hate password sharers, i will log into macs bros account and get scans every 2 mins
<Tempestuous> cypher just happens to be the world's cutest creature
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31 Jan 2006, 21:56
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#16
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by lancer
I believe, in order to do that I need to look at someone's pain and have fun. Sorry, I am still inhumanly shit.
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True dat my nigga!
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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31 Jan 2006, 22:17
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#17
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Slap Machine
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Blumenau, SC - Brazil
Posts: 174
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
lol
pretty good
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31 Jan 2006, 22:30
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#18
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by lancer
Sorry, I am still human.
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Your mom's grunting last night clearly shows this statement to be false.
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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31 Jan 2006, 22:30
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#19
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Noruega
Posts: 2,999
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Nice post!
Classy pic of yer mate there too
__________________
"Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of War"
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31 Jan 2006, 22:31
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#20
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Caveat Lector
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Tucson, Arizona
Posts: 3,038
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
One day when you're all older, it may be possible that you'll regret all this foolishness. There will be no officinal later in life.
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31 Jan 2006, 22:32
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#21
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by isildurx
Nice post!
Classy pic of yer mom there too ![Biggrin](images/smilies/biggrin.gif)
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Edited for great justice!
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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31 Jan 2006, 22:32
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#22
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________
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Somwhere I belong
Posts: 4,474
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
If I'm honest, that's something I would do.
Nice TK.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by blink 182
Breathing deeply, walking backwards,
finding strength to call and ask her
Roller coaster favorite ride,
let me kiss you one last time.
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31 Jan 2006, 22:43
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#23
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a little bit broken
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,405
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
i quite fancy her, she looks all passionate and emotional and has a great mouth
__________________
i came, i saw, i made a bit of a mess
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31 Jan 2006, 22:48
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#24
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
OMG REAL-LIFE INTERNET FEMALE IN 'ACTUALLY I'M ALSO A LESBIAN' PRAISE GOD FOR HE IS GOOD ALLAH ACKBAR SHOCKAR!
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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31 Jan 2006, 23:03
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#25
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WANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAW
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Éire
Posts: 2,738
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Hah. That's quite funny actually, and quite a public place for such a thing.
__________________
I came, I saw, I shouldn't mix pleasure with carpentry.
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31 Jan 2006, 23:04
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#26
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
I would like to point something out:
In pic 1 her legs are crossed.
In pic 2 they aren't but the angle is too high
In pic 3 the angle is better but THERE IS A ****ING UGLY FACE IN THE WAY
I hope there were other pics
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1 Feb 2006, 00:06
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#27
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
****ing genius TK though ...
"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Tomkat again."
****!
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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1 Feb 2006, 00:47
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#28
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead_Meat
Your mom's grunting last night clearly shows this statement to be false.
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DM ****ed a pig! DM ****ed a pig!
__________________
lazy
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1 Feb 2006, 00:55
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#29
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
A Derby county fan walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find
that's a sheep, you idiot."
The man says: "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you !
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1 Feb 2006, 04:20
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#30
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mmm lambs
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: London
Posts: 1,906
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
A Derby county fan walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find
that's a sheep, you idiot."
The man says: "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you !
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Substitute Derby for Welsh
__________________
I drink therefore I am
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1 Feb 2006, 06:09
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#31
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Noruega
Posts: 2,999
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
F***ing wankers givin out negrep for no particular reason sucks.
__________________
"Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of War"
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1 Feb 2006, 06:30
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#32
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Caveat Lector
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Tucson, Arizona
Posts: 3,038
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by isildurx
F***ing wankers givin out negrep for no particular reason sucks.
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...and whining about it only get's you more. :/ Wait until you have a page full like I never did! Then you can complain. Yes I photoshopped that page of neg reps for false sympathy, I'm that pathetic.
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1 Feb 2006, 09:50
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#33
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
When I was in Exeter a couple of weekends ago, we ended up in a nightclub.
Lots of drunk students around, so hormones were running high.
So were emotions.
We spotted this girl in the corner who was having a big argument with her (we assume) boyfriend. We didn't know either of them.
Now being kind, caring and considerate gentlemen (and because we were drunk and it was funny) we captured the immortal moments of the dumping on digital camera.
I apologise for there being an arm in the 2nd picture, and my friend's head in the 3rd. We had to do it covertly, so pretended to take pictures of each other, and then move the camera quickly to follow the events occurring.
Pay close attention now:
Picture 1 - Realisation. She's just been hit with the news, and is breaking down. He isn't sure what to do, so is trying to soften the blow.
Picture 2 - Anger. She's let it sink in now, and how DARE he dump her? Check out that CLAW!! That's pure hatred right there, fellas.
Picture 3 - Acceptance. The anger has passed now, and she's almost apathetic. It's over, and she realises it. The guy is just wondering if it'd be inappropriate for him to stop sitting with her now, and try to pull her friend.
So there you go guys. Prepare for the three stages - especially stage 2 (I can't get over the claw) - Realisation, Anger and Acceptance.
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shit man, that is brilliant. take a terrible moment of someone's life, when they are being turned from a happy girl on a night out to an emotional wreck, and spread it all over the internet..
for this, you earn many kudos.
__________________
I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
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1 Feb 2006, 09:55
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#34
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
a couple of other notes. I think the smiley hat on the table is a really nice touch. kind of like a teddy bear in an aircraft wreckage. was the red eye in pic 2 photoshopped, or is that her natural hate coming out?
__________________
I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
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1 Feb 2006, 10:02
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#35
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
"Shes got a great mouth" ?
ONLY IF SHES A HERBIVORE AND NEEDS THOSE HUGE ****ING TEETH TO EAT LEAVES OFF THE BRANCHES OF TREES!
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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1 Feb 2006, 10:19
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#36
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Godfather
Join Date: May 2000
Location: England
Posts: 5,185
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
how can any of you possibly find her attractive
__________________
Forum Administrator
Mail : [email protected] // IRC : #forums
__________________
It's not personal, it's just business.
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1 Feb 2006, 10:34
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#37
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by JammyJim
how can any of you possibly find her attractive ![Frown](images/smilies/frown.gif)
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because they know she is single, weak and vulnerable.
__________________
I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
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1 Feb 2006, 11:00
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#38
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
she would also have to be significantly better looking than that before i would go anywhere near her tbh
__________________
lazy
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1 Feb 2006, 11:16
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#39
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
she would also have to be significantly better looking than that before i would go anywhere near her tbh
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but if she was better looking, she probably wouldn't have looked like
this
then
this
and finally
this
and you wouldn't have been in with a chance.
__________________
I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
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1 Feb 2006, 11:24
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#40
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First Disciple of Aldur
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: The Vale of Aldur
Posts: 1,470
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by JammyJim
how can any of you possibly find her attractive ![Frown](images/smilies/frown.gif)
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alcohol + poorly lighted nightclub = terrible regret in the morning
__________________
Yeah.
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1 Feb 2006, 14:38
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#41
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Belgarath The Sorcerer
alcohol + poorly lighted nightclub = terrible regret in the morning
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See Wikipedia references to "Nodrog and Jenny"
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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1 Feb 2006, 14:42
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#42
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BlueTuba
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 6,339
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Kurashima again.
__________________
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
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1 Feb 2006, 14:42
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#43
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
no page with that title exists
__________________
I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
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1 Feb 2006, 14:46
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#44
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
though using the power of wikipedia, I just discovered that Jenny is a slang term for vagina.
__________________
I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
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1 Feb 2006, 14:58
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#45
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Radical Edward
no page with that title exists ![Frown](images/smilies/frown.gif)
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This would have been rectified. However thanks to recent legal threats, Wikipedia does not allow new users to upload items it appears
Otherwise this would have been an entry
Quote:
Nodrog And Jenny
The "Nodrog and Jenny" scenario began within the Planetarion community.
Whilst the names used are internet pseudonyms, both individuals have been physically witnessed to exist by others within the community.
"Nodrog" was originally considered a witty and intelligent player who mastered the early rounds of Planetarion with some ease.
"Jenny" was originally considered to be a plumber from Leeds pretending to be a female on the internet to create "teh lol".
]
Within the confines of the Planetarion "General Discussions" noticeboard, the relationship between the two individuals flourished over a period of several years, before "Real Life" issues forced the pair to seperate.
Both are fiercely private about the details over the seperation, which has led to much ridicule and speculation as to what happened and why this internet relationship eventually failed.
"Nodrog" does not have any siblings within the Planetarion Community
"Jenny" is related to board poster "Radical Edward"
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__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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1 Feb 2006, 15:48
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#46
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
well there is always the planetarion entry, for great justice
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planetarion
__________________
I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
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1 Feb 2006, 16:48
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#47
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
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1 Feb 2006, 17:12
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#48
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Next goal wins!
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: London
Posts: 5,406
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
that page is right, I am quite amiable. In fact, it seems to be utterly correct on every single point
God bless the wiki format: freedom from corruption, impartiality, and codified in stone!
__________________
bastard bastard bastard bastard
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1 Feb 2006, 18:38
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#49
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I see you!
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: In any girl
Posts: 2,825
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
That was amazing Tomkat ![Biggrin](images/smilies/biggrin.gif) Guess tip of the day is to always carry a camera
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1 Feb 2006, 19:15
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#50
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: How to dump your girlfriend in 3 easy steps (for pig!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
that page is right, I am quite amiable. In fact, it seems to be utterly correct on every single point ![Redface](images/smilies/eek.gif)
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I don't use a dictionary :eng101:
Which shows sometimes, especially recently.
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