Planetarion Forums

Dace · 14 Feb 2004, 23:16

OK so this story isn't very funny (well i don't think so anyway).

However it does tell of the most embarrasing thing to have happened to me.

As such some of you will probably enjoy it.

Dace · 14 Feb 2004, 23:17

Hurrah \o/

I'm finally there.

At last i've hit bottom.

But first some background material to the event ...

Last Friday was my sisters 18th.

She had quite a few friends staying in the flat.

To make a long boring story very short:

- her, her friends and one of my brothers (and his gf) left the flat at around 23:30

- i tried to get to sleep a couple of hours later (01:30)

- i was still awake (although drifting off to sleep) when my brother returned (to the flat (without a key) at 02:30

- i got up to let my brother in the flat

- people continued to return to the flat over the next hour and a half

- i got to sleep at about 05:30

Anyways after about 3 hours sleep i had to get up to play 5 aside football.

I went and played and came home and had something to eat.

I then tried to get a couple of hours sleep.

I tried to get to sleep because i was going on a staff night out that evening.

Pre meal meet up for drinks was to be at 6.

I failed in my attempt to get to sleep.

I got up unrested at about 15:30 because my friend (Matt) phoned saying he was in the area with another friend (Tom) who i hadn't seen in 1 1/2 years.

Blah blah blah time passes.

My friends FINALLY turn up at about 16:45.

Anyways i decided that i should stick to just one drink that evening.

Beer ****s with my stomach.

Vodka (/spirits) **** with my head.

I decided that i'd rather not have trouble with my guts and so opted for the voka option.

As vodka is quite expensive (in relation to beer) to drink whilst out i decided i should have a few drinks before i left the flat to save money.

I'd be on singles most likely for the rest of the night so i should be fine.

Ohhhh how words like "should" come back to haunt you.

Anyways i talk to my friends whilst drinking and getting ready then i get a lift into town.

I brave the outdoors with a third of a litre of vodka inside me (drunk in <1 hour).

I walked into the pub at 3 minutes to 7 (the meal was booked 2 doors down for 7) and was just in time to walk out again with my "friends".

Anyways there is a girl (we'll call her "Eve" cause that's not her real name) in my work (who sits beside me doing the same job and who is 9 months younger than me) and now i want your genuine opinion ...

Said girl:

- talks about sex

- tells me that "girls are just as horny as guy" and that they "want to get laid just as much"

- tells me the last time she was KISSED was last October

- punches me on the arm in a playful manner

- ****s with my chair settings (ie lowering it when im sitting in it etc)

- looks through all the passport photos we see for a girlfriend for me

- puts her hand on me knee

- puts her hand on my thigh (couple of days after hand-on-knee incident)

- puts her hand on my thigh and rubs it (couple of days after hand-on-thigh incident)

- laughs at my (on occasion really shitty) jokes

- refers to us as soul mates

- says we should make little PO1 (our job rank) babies

- hand made me a thank you card with drawings and gliter and such which seems to have involved quite a bit of effort after i gave her a book (she reads alot).

AND THE PIECE DE LA RESISTANCE

- she asked me to smell her lip gloss WHEN IT WAS ON HER LIPS (i declined twice but on the third request i decided to do it).

I MEAN AM I TOTALLY OFF BASE IN THINKING SHE LIKES ME?

We'll (and by "we" i mean "you") will find out soon enough.

Anyways back to the night out.

From pub to restaurant (im still drinking vodka at this point).

From restaurant to pre-club pub (i decide to start drinking Kronenburg).

From a pre-club pub to just a random pub (still on lager).

And now i'm pretty wasted.

So we're in the pub and everyone seems "merry" and my fellow PO1 asks me a question.

She asks me about the Dunblane shooting.

Now i don't really like talking about it.

It wasn't exactly a nice time.

I'm drunk tho so i tell her a few things about it.

Reasoning that she's asked me a question of a personal nature she wouldn't normally ask me at work i decide to "return the favour".

I ask her out.

Well i think that's what i do.

My memory around that time is slightly shakey.

I think she said that she "didn't think it was a good idea" and that "i was only saying this because i was drunk" (cue me saying "i'd be saying this even if i was sober").

Hmmmm anyway my memory is slightly shakey.

After the initial KB i think i might have alluded to a more "purely physical relationship" perhaps maybe or something you know if she didn't want to date me because of the whole "having to work with me thing" you know just sex etc.

OK so thats happened.

You don't ask you don't get.

No big deal.

My brain understands this.

Unfortunately however my body does not.

AND NOW FOR WHAT IS PROBABLY THE MOST EMBARRASING THING WHICH HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME ...

My body.

My ****ing piece of shit body.

My ****ing body betrays me.

Now there are probably reasons.

I was tired.

I was pretty drunk.

The whole "Dunblane thing" gets me "emotional" at the best of times.

I was probably going into shock after she said "no" (i was that convinced she'd say "yes").

Anyways those are just excuses no matter how valid.

The truth is i started crying.

Well not really crying.

More "filling up".

Right there amongst the folk i work with.

God i tried to stop.

Ohhhhhhh how i tried.

But it's difficult.

It wasn't like i had wanted to start in the first place.

So tears started forming at the corner of my eyes.

And more tears followed those.

And the bottom line was maybe i wasn't crying but it certainly looked that way.

So i go to the toilet to try and "compose" myself.

And out of sight i manage it.

And the folk from work are "moving on" to another pub.

And i decide to go home taking my bloodshot eyes with me.

And i feel like a complete and utter dick.

So there you have it.

The first time i have ever cried in public.

The first time i have cried in a long, long time.

The first time and it's infront of a girl i quite like and would want to impress and as such would want to look strong and manly infront of and just end up doing the complete opposite.

And so maybe it's not really "hitting bottom" but it's the closest i ever want to get to it because it felt so very bad.

THE END

Deepflow · 14 Feb 2004, 23:21

aaaaahahaahahaahahahaaaaa

sorry

Dace · 14 Feb 2004, 23:23

Not as sorry as me.

Deepflow · 14 Feb 2004, 23:24

she might want to go out with you now she thinks youre all sensitive and shit.

Ebany · 14 Feb 2004, 23:26

By the sound of it, yes, she does like you. And I can understand her not wanting to say yes when you ask her out while utterly wasted cause it would be extremely awkward if you wake up in the morning and think 'oh fk did I do what I think I did' and have to swiftly backtrack. That would be WAAAAY more difficult than a friendly turn down while you are totally plastered. Given how people talk about beer goggles and shagging people you wouldnt usually look twice at while drunk, if she is actually properly interested in you it makes more sense for her to be cautious.

On Monday (or whenever you next see her), apologise if you acted stupidly while you were drunk but add that you did mean it when you asked her out. Doing it sober makes a big difference.

Dace · 14 Feb 2004, 23:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ebany

By the sound of it, yes, she does like you. And I can understand her not wanting to say yes when you ask her out while utterly wasted cause it would be extremely awkward if you wake up in the morning and think 'oh fk did I do what I think I did' and have to swiftly backtrack. That would be WAAAAY more difficult than a friendly turn down while you are totally plastered. Given how people talk about beer goggles and shagging people you wouldnt usually look twice at while drunk, if she is actually properly interested in you it makes more sense for her to be cautious.

That's what i figured.

I realised at the time with what she said i might have made a bit of a tacitcal error and gotten a little too drunk.

If i hadn't started acting like a complete tit then logically %wise speaking by the end of the night she might have gotten drunk enough to say yes anyway no matter what she thought at the start (well middle) of the night.

Yeah anyways i know it's my **** up.

It's not like this makes it any easier tho.

LHC · 14 Feb 2004, 23:39

I actually laughed out loud when I read that

Dace · 14 Feb 2004, 23:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ebany

On Monday (or whenever you next see her), apologise if you acted stupidly while you were drunk but add that you did mean it when you asked her out. Doing it sober makes a big difference.

On Monday i kept very quiet (all this happened a week ago).

"Eve" pretended that it hadn't happened.

"Eve" made a big deal of how "totally wasted" she was and how "She can't really remember the night" and she asked very innocently [i]"When did leave?" (and i know she knows exactly when i left).

I know it's all an act because she told me in great detail about a conversation she had with someone else later that night.

I also have a vague idea of how much she'd had to drink before my little "incident" (and it wasn't that much ... and i know she's a bit of a drinker).

I've decided not to bring it up in conversation (because being reminded of how weak you were once is not very pleasent).

I'm just glad she's hinting at the event (she mentioned about how "sometimes you cant tell what a person is going to be like drunk" and gave two examples of her friends who act completely different when drunk than when sober and considering im a "smiley happey person" when sober and she has only seen me drunk once and i cried i think this was a pretty clear allusion to me) and not saying anything specific.

On an aside ...

On break on Friday i was reading The Sun.

There was an article about some pre-op transexual and how he/she had fooled 6 guys on some game show or something.

I brought the paper down from the rec room to show "Eve".

She said she had seen the article.

We talked about it for a few minutes.

She asked me to read her her horoscope.

I couldn't find it.

She told me it was on the same page as the cartoons.

I found it.

I read it out loud.

It went something along the lines of:

"A person who jokes with you at work is hiding secret romantic feelings for you."

Well that was the first line of it anyway.

I got the impression i had just been "played"

Your opinions = ???

Dace · 14 Feb 2004, 23:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by LHC

I actually laughed out loud when I read that

You bastard.

madi · 15 Feb 2004, 00:14

i would say

she did like you until you got too drunk
then she thought you were a bit weird
that she liked you to start with means you still have a chance of a leg over
if you dont screw it up again

when will people learn that excess of alcohol rarely ends well

Nodrog · 15 Feb 2004, 00:22

Just ask her out for a drink or whatever, I'm not getting what the problem is.

Dace · 15 Feb 2004, 00:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by madi

when will people learn that excess of alcohol rarely ends well

I know that.

What i'm having difficulty with is figuring out what constitutes an "excess".

:D

Dace · 15 Feb 2004, 00:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nodrog

Just ask her out for a drink or whatever, I'm not getting what the problem is.

Thanks for the advice nod.

Nodrog · 15 Feb 2004, 00:27

furball · 15 Feb 2004, 00:47

I'd say to ask her out for a drink and just act normally. Don't make any 'clever' plans since they will always go wrong. Just see how it goes and let her make references to anything from the other night, not you. If she's interested, you should be able to tell.

Oh, and don't get too wasted (but don't get particularly wasted either).

Dace · 15 Feb 2004, 00:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nonentity

I'd say to ask her out for a drink and just act normally.

Nah.

TBH i wouldn't mind ****ing her but i cant be arsed with a relationship with her.

Asking her out for a drink would seem too relationshippy (which might/would be awkward at work whereas "just sex" should be ok).

I talked about dating to her with the full intention of just ****ing her and not taking it any further (i thought this would be in both our interests) however i'm going to call time on this before it even starts as things have begun badly.

I've "missed" on this occassion but there will be others \o/

Leshy · 15 Feb 2004, 00:58

Don't sweat it, Dace.

I had to compose myself halfway through your post as well.

Dace · 15 Feb 2004, 01:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leshy

Don't sweat it, Dace.

I had to compose myself halfway through your post as well.

You say the cruellest things.

I think i'm going to cry*.

YOU BASTARD!

*as an aside i now have to watch what i say. I say things like "You're going to make me cry" in a variety of situations as like an automatic response (sometimes i don't even realise im saying it until i've finished) e.g. when someboday says that i have to go and do extra work or whatever. This is all well and good until i caught myself saying it during the week to "Eve" :( HELLO UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION!!!!!!1111

furball · 15 Feb 2004, 01:10

again with that, just try to act normally and laugh it off, I guess, if she draws attention to it.

Probably calling time on this is the best thing to do - but keep your eyes open for her getting frisky again.

Dace · 15 Feb 2004, 02:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nonentity

keep your eyes open for her getting frisky again.

She's frisky now.

She aint had any for a while.

And as she says "Girls are just as horny as guys".

KaneED · 15 Feb 2004, 02:43

i know its wrong but i laguhed at the crying bit, sorry. its funy

Dace · 15 Feb 2004, 02:45

I DIDN'T CRY I JUST "TEARED UP"!

KaneED · 15 Feb 2004, 02:48

bollocks you're a ****ing scottish poof, look at you and your ****ing rugby, losing to the poofy girly welsh. i mean what the ****.

YOU'RE A CRYBABY

Dace · 15 Feb 2004, 02:54

I

DID

NOT

CRY

!!!

And anyway it only happened the once so it's not like i'm a crybaby and you saying those things is really hurtful and i'm feeling a little emotional at the moment and a little low so i'd appreciate it if you stopped saying those nasty hurtful things because if you don't i just don't know what i'd do but maybe i could guess and maybe i dont think i'd like to do them.

QazokRouge5 · 15 Feb 2004, 03:01

dude.

Just give up.

Turn gay.

Buy a sheep.

Get a dog.

Do something.

Find a random girl.

Stay semi-sober.

(reccomended Tequila and Beer)

Then

Take her home.

**** her sideways.

Dace · 15 Feb 2004, 03:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by QazokRouge5

Find a random girl.

Stay semi-sober.

Will try to do so.

Kurashima · 15 Feb 2004, 03:19

Ive seen you cry in public. Its not a pretty sight.

SUCH

A

CRYBABY

Dace · 15 Feb 2004, 03:33

You're lying Steve.

Dante Hicks · 15 Feb 2004, 04:34

You really need a TV series chronicling your adventures Mr Dace.

p.s. Sorry but I laughed.

JonnyBGood · 15 Feb 2004, 14:23

You're actually made of stone if you didn't break down laughing while reading that post.

Phang · 15 Feb 2004, 14:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonnyBGood

You're actually made of stone if you didn't break down laughing while reading that post.

Flavius · 15 Feb 2004, 16:30

Im made of stone cause I didn't break down, but I laughed.

She's interested in you, **** her brains silly

oh and there's nothing wrong with crying, nothing

MrL_JaKiri · 15 Feb 2004, 16:32

To quote Thom Yorke, you know, everyone has problems; it doesn't mean you have to be a little crybaby about it.

Dace · 15 Feb 2004, 18:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

You really need a TV series chronicling your adventures Mr Dace.

Who knows.

Maybe after i publish my autobiography* somebody will snap up the TV/film rights.

AND THEN I WILL BE RICH ... RICH BEYOND MY WILDEST DREAMS!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

p.s. Sorry but I laughed.

You bastard.

*boring run of the mill random people can have them too cant they?!

Dace · 15 Feb 2004, 18:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonnyBGood

You're actually made of stone if you didn't break down laughing while reading that post.

OK seriously what's so funny about it?

Dace · 15 Feb 2004, 18:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri

To quote Thom Yorke, you know, everyone has problems; it doesn't mean you have to be a little crybaby about it.

IT

WASN'T

DELIBERATE

!!!

Also it wasnt crying ... it was "filling up".

JonnyBGood · 15 Feb 2004, 18:17

Dude you cried because some girl you liked didn't say yes when you asked her out.

Dace · 15 Feb 2004, 18:21

No i didn't.

Somebody appears to be spreading malicious rumours about me.

THE BASTARD!

MrL_JaKiri · 15 Feb 2004, 18:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dace

Also it wasnt crying ... it was "filling up".

Are you gonna cry all day, crybaby?

Kurashima · 15 Feb 2004, 18:29

I think this officially ends the "Paedo" jokes, and replaces them with "Whiny Crybaby" jokes.

Everytime someone complains bitterly about something, we just refer to it as "Doing a Dace".

MrL_JaKiri · 15 Feb 2004, 18:30

I thought that was 'Doing a Deffeh', with emphasis on the bitter?

Stew · 15 Feb 2004, 18:32

You mentioned sex, and then you say your body failed.
I thought somat else was up (or not as the case may be!) so heh - and the horoscope thing was funny, she blatantly knew what it said

Dace · 15 Feb 2004, 18:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kurashima

I think this officially ends the "Paedo" jokes, and replaces them with "Whiny Crybaby" jokes.

I'd rather the paedo jokes continue.

Dace · 15 Feb 2004, 18:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stew

the horoscope thing was funny, she blatantly knew what it said

Don't i know it (the bitch).

Baron Morte · 15 Feb 2004, 18:46

I really like personal threads! Makes me feel like you are my friend! A friend abroad! how crazy is that???

Dace · 15 Feb 2004, 18:48

It's TOTALLY crazy!!!

roadrunner_0 · 15 Feb 2004, 20:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonnyBGood

You're actually made of stone if you didn't break down laughing while reading that post.

i think you may be right here jonny, i must admit dace, as someone who doesnt have the best of luck with the ladies (including just haveing been dumped by text message for the second time in a row)
i still laughed
sorry

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dace

I'd rather the paedo jokes continue.

we all heard it, just in case he decides to change it later, dace would rather be a paedo than a crybaby!

Rids · 15 Feb 2004, 20:39

Hey guys, dont be cruel to Dace.

YOU MIGHT MAKE HIM CRY

Dace · 15 Feb 2004, 20:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by roadrunner_0

i think you may be right here jonny, i must admit dace, as someone who doesnt have the best of luck with the ladies (including just haveing been dumped by text message for the second time in a row)
i still laughed
sorry

At least you have enough luch to get with women.

At the moment i dont even seem to have that.

I'd swap places any day.

Quote:

Originally Posted by roadrunner_0

i we all heard it, just in case he decides to change it later, dace would rather be a paedo than a crybaby!

Too true.