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4 Feb 2003, 15:21
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#1
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Cooki-Monster
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Ireland
Posts: 515
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Everyone's favourite people
THE SCOUSERS
Q: How do you know when its cold in Liverpool?
A: The Scousers have their hands in their own pockets.
Q: What's the difference between a scouser and Batman?
A: Batman can go out without robbin
Q: What do you call a scouser in a white shell suit?
A: The bride
Q: How do you know the Christmas story wasn't set in Liverpool?
A: They would never find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q: What's long, scouse, and goes around corners?
A: The dole queue.
Q: Why is the Anfield grass so green?
A: Because every week they put millions of pounds worth of
sh**e on it.
Q: What do you say to a Scouser with a job?
A: "Big Mac please."
Q: Why do pigeons fly upside down over Liverpool?
A: Because there's nothing worth ****ting on.
Q: Why does a scouser whistle while he is having a sh*te?
A: So he knows which end to wipe
Q: How do you save a scouser from drowning?
A: Take your foot of his head.
Q: What do you sing to a scouser taking a bath?
A: Happy Birthday to you...
Q: What is the difference between a drug dealer and a Scouse
woman?
A: A Scouse woman can wash her crack and sell it again!
Q: What is the difference between a battery and an Scouser? A: A battery has a positive side.
Q: Why did God make Scousers stink?
A: So blind people could laugh at them too!
Q: What is the ideal weight of a Scouser?
A: About three pounds including the urn.
Q: What do scousers use for protection when they're having sex?
A: A bus shelter.
Q: How do you know if a scouse girl is having an orgasm?
A: She drops her chips.
Q: Why should empty beer cans NOT be thrown at scousers?
A: If you look hard enough surely you can find some empty
bottles
HEY DEERBARN
__________________
FUN FUN FUN AT PLANETARION
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4 Feb 2003, 15:35
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#3
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: I hate you all
Posts: 718
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this pleases me.
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I admit it, i'm a [TiT]
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4 Feb 2003, 15:51
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#4
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Mr. Blobby
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Belgium
Posts: 8,271
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I'm amused.
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4 Feb 2003, 15:54
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#5
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Dirte
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,573
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Am i very stupid if i do not know what a Scouser is?
Anyways, they were funny!
__________________
"Freedom, morality, and the human dignity of the individual consists precisely in this; that he makes waffles not because he is forced to do so, but because he freely conceives it, wants it, and loves it."
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4 Feb 2003, 15:56
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#6
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Banned
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 773
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Quote:
Originally posted by Snurx
Am i very stupid if i do not know what a Scouser is?
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Just slightly dim.. 
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4 Feb 2003, 16:05
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#7
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Dirte
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,573
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Quote:
Originally posted by Grimble
Just slightly dim..
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Oh. That's not much better, is it? At least, i did not do that stupid thing i did not do yesterday, when it all fell in place! 
But, what are Scouser's anyway?
__________________
"Freedom, morality, and the human dignity of the individual consists precisely in this; that he makes waffles not because he is forced to do so, but because he freely conceives it, wants it, and loves it."
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4 Feb 2003, 16:08
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#8
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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'Us' folk from Liverpool, England.
Like the Beatles.
I love scouse jokes, especially that 'Back to Work Scheme' image.
Ace.
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4 Feb 2003, 16:29
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#9
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Cooki-Monster
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Ireland
Posts: 515
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Quote:
Originally posted by pablissimo
'Us' folk from Liverpool, England.
Like the Beatles.
I love scouse jokes, especially that 'Back to Work Scheme' image.
Ace.
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but ur now a tartan scouse
so ur now a mix between a tea leafing penny pincher and paul adams(a black wanaby) or johnny baxtor( a top mcdonalds employee) take your pic
__________________
FUN FUN FUN AT PLANETARION
Last edited by cookiemay; 4 Feb 2003 at 19:46.
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4 Feb 2003, 16:42
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#10
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Cultured
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ESS The Darker The Night The Brighter The Star
Posts: 637
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lorleth
PLD 
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4 Feb 2003, 16:48
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#11
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dim like a fox
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Finland ffs
Posts: 866
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the funny
__________________
I'm nobody.
Nobody's perfect.
I'm perfect.
---------------
ph33r TPE plz. thxbye.
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4 Feb 2003, 18:27
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#12
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Cooki-Monster
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Ireland
Posts: 515
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England are having their pre-match team-talk when Kevin Keegan takes Michael Owen to one side. “Now Michael, lad” says Kev “You’re going to start the match but I’m going to pull you off at half-time!” “Really?” says the boy-wonder “I usually only get an orange.”
.........................................
.........................................
At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke - 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the queer fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian.
Leaning over, he cups his huge ear: "Do you want a blow job?" he whispers.
At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar.
Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened. Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer.
"I've never seen you react like that" he says. "Just what did he say to you?" "I'm not sure" the big scouser replies. "Something about a job."
__________________
FUN FUN FUN AT PLANETARION
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