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Unread 26 May 2003, 01:36   #1
Kurashima
Has Soup On His Head
 
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Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
ITTWD - The best comedy lines ever

"Seaside Candyfloss , its gets everywhere. Its like having oral sex with the Pink Panther"
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And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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Unread 26 May 2003, 01:51   #2
Belgarath The Sorcerer
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Belgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud ofBelgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud ofBelgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud ofBelgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud ofBelgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud ofBelgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud ofBelgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud ofBelgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud ofBelgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud of
"Has anyone ever told you that you are a disgusting, pus-filled bubo who has all the wit, charm and self-possession of an Alsatian dog after a head-swap operation?"
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Unread 26 May 2003, 02:03   #3
Gayle29uk
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C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I
got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had
been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had
been NAILED there.

(pause)

O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that
bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em
apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
C: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four
million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
O: No no! 'E's pining!
C: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more!
He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!
'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you
hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!
'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run
down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
__________________
ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
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Unread 26 May 2003, 02:11   #4
MrL_JaKiri
The Twilight of the Gods
 
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MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
P surely, if that's Palin and Cleese :\

ps.

Brannigan: So, a plan to assassinate a weird looking alien with scissiors...
Leela: What?
B: But you forgot one thing. Rock crushes scissors! But... Paper covers rock... and scissors cuts paper! Kif, we have a conundrum.
Kif: Euuurh
B: Search them for paper. And bring me a rock.
K: Why?

(It only really works with the voices, they're perfect)
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Unread 26 May 2003, 02:12   #5
Belgarath The Sorcerer
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Belgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud ofBelgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud ofBelgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud ofBelgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud ofBelgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud ofBelgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud ofBelgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud ofBelgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud ofBelgarath The Sorcerer has much to be proud of
"Thank you, George, but if you don't mind, I'd rather have my tongue beaten wafer-thin by a steak tenderiser and then stapled to the floor with a croquet hoop."
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Unread 26 May 2003, 02:13   #6
MrL_JaKiri
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MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
And now to place it on the editors desk... this will take a portion of my cunning. No. NO! ALL my cunning.
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Unread 26 May 2003, 02:45   #7
Gayle29uk
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrL_JaKiri
And now to place it on the editors desk... this will take a portion of my cunning. No. NO! ALL my cunning.
Is it as cunning as a fox what was made professor of cunning at Oxford University but has now moved on to better things and currently heads the commission of cunning at the UN?
__________________
ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:04   #8
MrL_JaKiri
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MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
(peter breaks into the cockpit)
Pilot: WHO ARE YOU? You're not a pilot! I know every pilot in the world!
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:09   #9
MrL_JaKiri
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MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Excuse me, is your refridgerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you. Very homosexually.
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:18   #10
MrL_JaKiri
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MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Peter: Wait just a minute... something's different.

(Peter's bar has been replaced by a 'british pub'. They walk in to find people drinking wine and tea, wearing bowler hats and reading books.)

Barman: Evening gents! How about a nice warm lager?
Englishman One: And help youself to a packet of crisps.
Englishman Two: Or a ruddy nice plum pudding?

Peter: Holy crap! It's a gay bar!
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:20   #11
Embroglio
a new low in getting high
 
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Embroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like him
Anything Groucho Marx said, ever.
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There’s trouble on every corner,
And you need a place to hide,
All the bad things follow us down,
I want you by my side.

We’re hitting a new low.
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:22   #12
Kurashima
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Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
<Moriarty> So Neddy , are you going to tell me about those top secret plans
<Seagoon> Good god. How did you know about that. Are you a spy.
<Moriarty> Yes
<Seagoon> Then why are you wearing A packet of mints?
<Mortiarty> Isnt it obvious? Im a Mint Spy.
<Seagoon> And a merry christmas to you too sir.
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And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:25   #13
MrL_JaKiri
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MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Hermes: Please welcome our new chief executive officer, 'That Guy'.
Fry: Yay! WOOOO!
That Guy: Lets cut to the chase. There are two kinds of people. Sheep, and sharks. Anyone who's a sheep is fired. Who's a sheep?
Zoidberg: Excuse me, but which one the one that people like to hug?
TG: Gutsy question. You're a shark. Sharks are winners, and they don't look back. Cos they don't have necks. Necks are for sheep.
I am proud to be the shepherd of this herd of sharks, and I am going to lead you to the top in this industry of... of...
F (whispering): Package delivery
TG: PACKAGE DELIVERY? Oh god... fantastic! Now, the first order of business is to blame everything on the guy before me. Professor?
P. Farnsworth: I'll ruin you like I ruined this company!
TG: Terrific. Question number one. What was your overall business plan?
PF: Eee, um, business plan, yes. I keep it here right next to my heart (looks in draw).
TG: Wait a minute. This isn't a business plan. It's an escape plan!
PF: So long suckers! Bwahahahhehehe
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:27   #14
MrL_JaKiri
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MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Henry: A civil servant, Minnie

Minnie: Hit him! Hit him!
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:28   #15
Kurashima
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Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
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And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:29   #16
Kurashima
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Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
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And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:31   #17
Kurashima
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Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:32   #18
Kurashima
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Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.
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And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:33   #19
Gayle29uk
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Gayle29uk is just really niceGayle29uk is just really niceGayle29uk is just really niceGayle29uk is just really nice
Quote:
Originally posted by Kurashima
<Moriarty> So Neddy , are you going to tell me about those top secret plans
<Seagoon> Good god. How did you know about that. Are you a spy.
<Moriarty> Yes
<Seagoon> Then why are you wearing A packet of mints?
<Mortiarty> Isnt it obvious? Im a Mint Spy.
<Seagoon> And a merry christmas to you too sir.
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ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:35   #20
MrL_JaKiri
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MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
As a time saving manouver...
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:36   #21
Kurashima
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Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:37   #22
MrL_JaKiri
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MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Sellerstastic!

ps

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the War Room!
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:39   #23
Kurashima
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Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
<Seagoon>Good God , Theyre pointing a machine gun at us

<Moriarty> How rude. Pretend we havent seen them
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And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:39   #24
Embroglio
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Embroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like him
Quote:
Originally posted by Kurashima
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
I love you.
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And you need a place to hide,
All the bad things follow us down,
I want you by my side.

We’re hitting a new low.
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:41   #25
Kurashima
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Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
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And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:42   #26
Kurashima
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Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
When the media ask him [George W. Bush] a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'
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And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:43   #27
Kurashima
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Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
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And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:44   #28
Kurashima
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Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
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It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:45   #29
Embroglio
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Embroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like him
Chico: Can't catch 'im.
Hammer: Who is he?
Chico: Atsa my partner, but he no speak.
Hammer: Oh, that's your silent partner

Chico: I no gotta no money.
Hammer: You gotta no money?
Chico: I no gotta one cent.
Hammer: How you gonna pay for your room?
Chico: That'sa your lookout.
Hammer: Oh...You're just an idle roomer.

Hammer: (pause) Well, we'll Passover that...You're a peach, boy. Now, here is a little peninsula, and, eh, here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.
Chico: Why a duck?
Hammer: I'm alright, how are you? I say, here is a little peninsula, and here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.
Chico: Alright, why a duck?
Hammer: (pause) I'm not playing "Ask Me Another," I say that's a viaduct.
Chico: Alright! Why a duck? Why that...why a duck? Why a no chicken?
Hammer: Well, I don't know why a no chicken; I'm a stranger here myself. All I know is that it's a viaduct. You try to cross over there a chicken and you'll find out why a duck.
Chico: When I go someplace I just...
Hammer: (interrupts) It's...It's deep water, that's why a duck. It's deep water.
Chico: That's why a duck...
Hammer: Look...look, suppose you were out horseback riding and you came to that stream and you wanted to ford over...You couldn't make it, it's too deep!
Chico: Well, why do you want with a Ford if you gotta horse?
Hammer: Well, I'm sorry the matter ever came up. All I know is that it's a viaduct.
Chico: Now look, alright, I catch ona why a horse, why a chicken, why a this, why a that...I no catch ona why a duck.
Hammer: I was only fooling...I was only fooling. They're gonna build a tunnel there in the morning. Now is that clear to you?
Chico: Yes, everything excepta why a duck.

The why a duck scene is COMEDY GOLD.
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There’s trouble on every corner,
And you need a place to hide,
All the bad things follow us down,
I want you by my side.

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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:47   #30
MrL_JaKiri
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MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Mike: I had to dress up as an old israeli woman once.
Tim: Why'd you do that?
Mike: Well, I didn't HAVE to.
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:48   #31
Kurashima
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Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
<moriarty> According to British Intelligence , the 3rd of April is only 3 days away
<Seagoon> Good God. How do they get such accurate Information.
<Moriarty> They captured a German calendar Alive.
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:49   #32
MrL_JaKiri
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Fry, you remind me of a young me. Not too much younger of course, maybe even a couple of years older.
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:51   #33
MrL_JaKiri
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Mildred: Killed? In an atomic blast? No sir. I don't take much solace in the fact that the implosion trigger functioned perfectly.
Fry: There there. If it makes you feel any better, his body was vapourised so there's no chance of him coming back as a zombie.
M: I'm not worried about that.
F: Then you're a braver woman than I.
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:52   #34
Embroglio
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Embroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like him
Firefly: (Pontificating) My friends...This case moves me deeply. Look at Chicolini...He sits there alone...An abject figure.
Chicolini: I abject!

Prosecutor: Chicolini, you're charged with high treason. And if found guilty, you'll be shot.
Chicolini: I object.
Prosecutor: Oh, you object! On what grounds?
Chicolini: I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Firefly: (Bangs gavel) Objection sustained.
Prosecutor: Your Excellency! You sustained the objection?
Firefly: Sure, I couldn't think of anything else to say either! Why don't you object?
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And you need a place to hide,
All the bad things follow us down,
I want you by my side.

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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:54   #35
MrL_JaKiri
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Army Guy: Mr President, our experts have reassembled the parts from the alien ship into its original design.
Truman: Whistling dixie! I want this sent to Area 51 for study!
AG: But sir! That's where we're building the fake moon landing site!
T: Then we'll have to really land on the moon! Invent NASA and tell them to get off their fannies!
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:54   #36
Gayle29uk
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Are you nearly finished yet? Only I'm beginning to understand why Stephen Fry ****ed off.

(Or words to that effect)
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ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
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rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:56   #37
Kurashima
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gayle29uk
Are you nearly finished yet? Only I'm beginning to understand why Stephen Fry ****ed off.

(Or words to that effect)
I have that video!
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It was matter for general remark,
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:56   #38
MrL_JaKiri
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Truman: If you come in peace, surrender or be destroyed! If you're here to make war, we surrender.
Zoidberg: Both good. The important thing is I'm meeting new people.
Truman: Bushwah! Now what's your mission? Are you planning to make some kind of alien/human hybrid?
Zoidberg: Are you coming onto me?
Truman: Hot cracker! I take exception to that!
Zoidberg: I'm not hearing a no...
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:58   #39
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kurashima
I have that video!
Which one's that? I can remember it, but not where it's from...

HIGNFY Best of if memory serves.
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:58   #40
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Dear god, I forgot about Withnail and I.

'Monty you terrible c*nt!'
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:59   #41
Gayle29uk
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kurashima
I have that video!
Possibly the only thing in it I found amusing but oh how I laughed at that one line, it was utter perfection
__________________
ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
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Unread 26 May 2003, 03:59   #42
Gayle29uk
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrL_JaKiri
Which one's that? I can remember it, but not where it's from...

HIGNFY Best of if memory serves.
One of the Bottoms.
__________________
ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
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Unread 26 May 2003, 04:01   #43
Kurashima
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Its from the Bottom 2 stage show.
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And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
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Unread 26 May 2003, 04:03   #44
MrL_JaKiri
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Ah yes, that's it.

As twas said, the only funny thing on there.

No wonder I couldn't remember.
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Unread 26 May 2003, 04:03   #45
Embroglio
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Embroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like him
Here's to our wives and girlfriends... May they never meet.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Chico: "The garbage man is here."
Groucho: "Well, tell him we don't want any."

Groucho: "We took some pictures of the native girls but they weren't developed. But we're going back again in a couple of weeks!"

Groucho: "You have ten children?"
Contestant on the show: "Yes, I love my husband very much."
Groucho: "Well, I love my sigar too, but I take it out once in a while."

Reporter: "What do you think of Nixon moving to your neigborhood?"
Groucho: "I'd rather have him living here than in the White House."

Reporter: "Why are you so big all over again?"
Groucho: "I'm only five-seven."
Reporter: "Do you enjoy being called a living legend?"
Groucho: "Yes."
Reporter: "Why?"
Groucho: "Because I'm dead."

Rip: "How do you do Groucho. My name is Rip Taylor."
Groucho: "That's your hard luck. What do you do?"
Rip: "I'm a comedian."
Groucho: "Well, you haven't said anything funny yet."
Rip: "Well, I open my act by coming out onstage in a robe that's covered with long silver tinsel
and I say, 'Looks like they shot the Christmas tree !'"
Groucho: "And then what? You go home?"
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There’s trouble on every corner,
And you need a place to hide,
All the bad things follow us down,
I want you by my side.

We’re hitting a new low.
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Unread 26 May 2003, 04:09   #46
MrL_JaKiri
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Dougal: You remember that film ted, where your man has his head transplanted onto a fly, and the fly's head is transplanted onto the man?
Ted: Oh yes, what was that called?
Dougal: Out of Africa I think.

in the same vein...

Daisy: I was thinking we could do that thing, you know in that film with Andy McDowell and Gerard Depardieu, you know, where they get married so she can keep her house and he can get a, you know, an american work permit.
Tim: What a green card?
Daisy: Yeh. What's it called?
Tim: I dunno.

oh, and

Homer: I saw this once in a film about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping it's SPEED above 50, because if it's SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called 'The Bus that Couldn't Slow Down'.
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Unread 26 May 2003, 04:12   #47
Gayle29uk
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No quote, just a link to 60 minutes of hilarity in the form of Between Iraq and a Hard Place

Transcript is here, there are too many hilarious moments to pick one
__________________
ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
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Unread 27 May 2003, 12:14   #49
ELeeming
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I told u i was hardcore
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Resistance Is Character Forming
Lapsed Pacifist
All Through With This Niceness And Negotiation Stuff
God Told Me To Do It
Just Another Victim Of The Ambient Morality
Synchronise Your Dogmas
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Aargh! Killer Bee attack! (\o/) (/o\) (\o/) (/o\)
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Unread 27 May 2003, 12:18   #50
Deepflow
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the tony of plymouth sketch from a bit of fry and laurie

someone! find it!
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