|
20 Feb 2003, 16:55
|
#1
|
=Þ
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Canada
Posts: 252
|
Joke Inside
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of
satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael
look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet,"
replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's
going to be a place of great balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to
different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of
great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the
Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a
continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people,"
God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely
hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large landmass in
the top corner and asked, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are
beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The
people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they
re going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable,
hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world
as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human,
undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who
come across them."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed; "What about
balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!" God replied wisely...."Ah,
Wait until you see the loudmouthed buggars I'm putting next to them!!!!"
__________________
"Never fear, I is here"
|
|
|
20 Feb 2003, 16:58
|
#2
|
Guest
|
old.
I expect better from you.
|
|
|
20 Feb 2003, 16:58
|
#3
|
Cultured
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ESS The Darker The Night The Brighter The Star
Posts: 637
|
|
|
|
20 Feb 2003, 16:59
|
#4
|
=Þ
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Canada
Posts: 252
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Kraken
old.
I expect better from you.
|
that makes one of us
__________________
"Never fear, I is here"
|
|
|
20 Feb 2003, 17:01
|
#5
|
The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
|
Every other time I've seen that joke it's been English/French.
|
|
|
20 Feb 2003, 17:01
|
#6
|
Guest
|
Ah, as usual projecting half of your supposed wit in my general direction.
The memories come flooding back.
|
|
|
20 Feb 2003, 17:02
|
#7
|
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 451
|
The person who wrote this joke has never been to Canada.
P.S. I realize Steve_G lives in Canada but he didn't actually write the joke unless he did so along time ago, so I'm not referring to him.
__________________
I'm bigger than you.
|
|
|
20 Feb 2003, 17:04
|
#8
|
Bitch
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 3,848
|
Quote:
Originally posted by MrL_JaKiri
Every other time I've seen that joke it's been English/French.
|
Scousers/Wales last time I heard it.
__________________
ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
|
|
|
20 Feb 2003, 17:05
|
#9
|
The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Gayle29uk
Scousers/Wales last time I heard it.
|
This thread is C vs C and should be closed!
Where's a mod when you need one?
|
|
|
20 Feb 2003, 17:07
|
#10
|
Bitch
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 3,848
|
Quote:
Originally posted by MrL_JaKiri
This thread is C vs C and should be closed!
|
You could make it Israel/Palestine but it'd be a tough call on which were the assholes...
__________________
ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
|
|
|
20 Feb 2003, 17:08
|
#11
|
7 Dimensional Puddleduck
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Not where I want to be :(
Posts: 1,556
|
Quote:
Originally posted by MrL_JaKiri
This thread is C vs C and should be closed!
Where's a mod when you need one?
|
bunch of lasy bastids
p.s. I thought Gabriel was archangel?
__________________
<CmdrCyrax> I'm sure GDers are bastions of the civilized world.
|
|
|
20 Feb 2003, 17:10
|
#12
|
Bitch
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 3,848
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Cmdr_Cyrax
p.s. I thought Gabriel was archangel?
|
This was obviously before he got promoted for stitching Michael up and plagiarising his work.
__________________
ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
|
|
|
20 Feb 2003, 17:13
|
#13
|
The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Cmdr_Cyrax
p.s. I thought Gabriel was archangel?
|
There's more than one, wiggles.
|
|
|
20 Feb 2003, 17:15
|
#14
|
7 Dimensional Puddleduck
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Not where I want to be :(
Posts: 1,556
|
Quote:
Originally posted by MrL_JaKiri
There's more than one, wiggles.
|
Really?
I always thought there were a bunch of them with the 'rank' of angel and one who's liek speshul, the archangel........
Oh well, dont really care
__________________
<CmdrCyrax> I'm sure GDers are bastions of the civilized world.
|
|
|
20 Feb 2003, 22:48
|
#15
|
m u p p e t
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Whenever Wherever
Posts: 477
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Cmdr_Cyrax
Really?
I always thought there were a bunch of them with the 'rank' of angel and one who's liek speshul, the archangel........
|
More than one, though one of them did turn around, take a number of the normal angels with him, and set up shop "down below".
Michael/Gabriel are (I believe) the only ones mentioned anywhere, barring Satan ofc.
__________________
|
|
|
20 Feb 2003, 23:13
|
#16
|
Prince of Amber
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Heidelberg, Germany
Posts: 1,313
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Supernova9
More than one, though one of them did turn around, take a number of the normal angels with him, and set up shop "down below".
Michael/Gabriel are (I believe) the only ones mentioned anywhere, barring Satan ofc.
|
Raphael is also an archangel. I believe Uriel is the fourth. I am not an expert on archangels, but I think I read somewhere that Uriel became Lucifer after the fall. Don't quote me on that though. Anyway, I know there are/were four archangels. I'm just not sure about the fourth one.
__________________
"We sleep safe at night in our beds because rough men stand ready to visit violence upon those who wish to do us harm." -- George Orwell.
|
|
|
20 Feb 2003, 23:37
|
#17
|
Bitch
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 3,848
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Texan
Raphael is also an archangel. I believe Uriel is the fourth. I am not an expert on archangels, but I think I read somewhere that Uriel became Lucifer after the fall. Don't quote me on that though. Anyway, I know there are/were four archangels. I'm just not sure about the fourth one.
|
Uriel is not Lucifer (although his name 'Light of God' woudl roughly translate as such), nor is he accepted as an archangel by the Christian/Catholic church as a whole. He is named in the book of Enoch which is deemed apocryphal rather than part of the scriptures. The only three named in the scriptures are Michael, Raphael, and Gabriel. Several others crop up in other places but as I said, the churches tend not to recognise them.
On the other hand, various 'traditions' of magic do recognise them, chiefly Wicca, the Qaballah, and the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. Of course there are countless others but these are the most well known although the HOGD is now (not sadly) a shadow of its former self, a fall in main brought about by Aleistair Crowley.
How do I know all this? I wasn't always a cynic
__________________
ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
|
|
|
20 Feb 2003, 23:41
|
#18
|
The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
|
I'm a cynic. Doesn't stop me being interested though.
|
|
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
|
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 07:07.
| |