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Unread 4 Sep 2007, 21:48   #1
pig
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Out of the blue eh

Well I got a phone call off my step mum today to say that my dad had a stroke.

It's a bit weird. He's only 54, and lives a fairly healthy lifestyle (unlike his son). His only vice is gin, but who at his age doesn't like a drink.

Unfortunately he is in Birmingham and at that point I was just getting off the train in Nottingham (I'm starting a new job tomorrow and for the next two weeks I am staying in a hotel and doing some induction/orientation bull shit).

I missed the intro drinks and dinner with the other graduates and jumped straight back on the train to Birmingham. I don't really want to tell anyone, not sure why. I thought I would tell an internet forum instead, it's as though I can say what I want to say and leave it at that.

I went to visit him and he isn't in the best of shape. His confidence has been knocked. He now has to think about early retirement (he works hard, and enjoys his job, not exactly something he wanted to do for a few years). As you know with strokes sometimes they can't speak. In the case of my dead it's like trying to speak to someone who is paraletic. His speech is getting better, but its slurring and he finds it hard to speak. But by the end of my visit I can understand him.

He can't feel anything in his right hand, so can't move his fingers (thank god he's left handed).

It was just weird. Never nice seeing your own parents lying in a hospital bed, as I am sure some of you know.

He wanted me to leave and go back to Nottingham, I didn't particularly wanted to go, it doesn't kick off until 9.30am tomorrow morning and I could easily make it from brum, but he wanted me to go, so I went.

He doesn't want me to tell my sisters, which I will respect, not at least until tomorrow when they know more. I am fairly positive he will be fine and make a swift recovery.

In fact this post is a nothing post. It's just sometimes nice to get your thoughts down and reflect on the situation. I don't really feel much. I just feel sad that it's happened. It won't affect me, just ashame that I can't be there while he makes a recovery. But I guess he has his wife for that.

Anyway I'm off to try and do some last minute bonding with fellow graduates, take care all.

x
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Unread 4 Sep 2007, 21:56   #2
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Re: Out of the blue eh

you told us because we are more of a family to you than strangers.

And as family I think you should follow his wishes.

You are none of you immortal. No one gets excited by the first grey hair, or the first wrinkle. Enjoy the time you have and honour him.
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Unread 4 Sep 2007, 22:17   #3
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Re: Out of the blue eh

Sorry to hear that, pig Hope he gets a speedy recovery!
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Unread 4 Sep 2007, 22:50   #4
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Re: Out of the blue eh

Sorry to hear that Pig. When he's better it may be wise to encourage him to exercise both sides of his brain (analytical and creative). I'm not doctor but as strokes normally affect one side of the brain it seems logical.

I'm sure he'll be happier knowing that you're enjoying your new job rather than worrying over him, especially as he's asked you not to tell your sisters.
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Unread 4 Sep 2007, 23:02   #5
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Re: Out of the blue eh

if you can get a cheap nintendo DS maybe that brain training game can help get full usage back? hope he gets better
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Unread 4 Sep 2007, 23:24   #6
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Re: Out of the blue eh

The fact he's conscious and is thinking coherently (telling you to go back to nottingham etc) is excellent. The stroke will probably knock his confidence and make him realise he isn't invincible, but if that's the worst result that comes from it; well it isn't THAT bad.
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Unread 5 Sep 2007, 01:08   #7
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Re: Out of the blue eh

Quote:
Originally Posted by pig
I don't really want to tell anyone, not sure why.
I know exactly what you mean. I never told anyone when my grandparents died, a few years back, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't do so now either, if it happened again (which is impossible, as I've run out, but hypothetically speaking).

Hope your dad gets well, or as well as the circumstances allow.
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Unread 5 Sep 2007, 08:38   #8
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Re: Out of the blue eh

Hope all is well.
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Unread 5 Sep 2007, 09:01   #9
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Re: Out of the blue eh

In regards to the DS thing, the games are called "brain training & big brain training", read something about them being used in retirement homes to "reactivate" the braincells of the elders, apparently it works well.

Hope father pig gets well soon
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Unread 6 Sep 2007, 14:39   #10
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Exclamation Re: Out of the blue eh

That is pretty shit, pig.

I remember when my Dad had his leg amputated and it's always a real pisser. The big problem is the imemdiate recovery and just getting over the initial stages. I hope it isn't anything too bad and he makes a good recovery. Let's hope for the best.
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Unread 6 Sep 2007, 20:02   #11
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Re: Out of the blue eh

After your dad got it amputated did he go out and get.... legless? :crymeariver:
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Unread 7 Sep 2007, 11:24   #12
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Re: Out of the blue eh

I see where your going with your thoughts Pig, my dad died of cancer the 1st day of 3 days off, i went to work after the 3 days were up, because my mums sister had come down to stay with her i was able to, i told no-one at work, on the day i didnt pull my daughter out of school, i let her go ( got the phone call at about 8am) and told her after she came back. ( we were expecting it, but not quite as soon as it happened, he'd been booked into hospice care the next week )

I'd spent the day comforting my mum and phoning family, i guess in hindsight, i wanted to be somewhere where everything was the same as it was before he died.

The only time anyone knew was when i booked a day off for the funeral, they were sympathetic and really shocked that i had not told them.
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Unread 7 Sep 2007, 14:04   #13
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Exclamation Re: Out of the blue eh

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
After your dad got it amputated did he go out and get.... legless? :crymeariver:
He became a pirate actually.
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Unread 7 Sep 2007, 21:29   #14
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Re: Out of the blue eh

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
He became a pirate actually.
An angry pirate?
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Unread 7 Sep 2007, 22:05   #15
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Re: Out of the blue eh

Sorry to hear this pig. My father had a stroke a few years back and hes partly paralyzed on the his left side. He does maage to live fairly normal still though, and his spirit is and has always been fantastic. Its amazing how much you can do with limited mobility, seems like the hardest thing for him actually is getting dishes done

Hope your dad is going to be alright.
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Unread 7 Sep 2007, 23:03   #16
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Re: Out of the blue eh

Hit It Like The Sperm Of An Angry Pirate



(pretend that was written in caps, tx)
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Unread 10 Sep 2007, 18:17   #17
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Re: Out of the blue eh

Sorry to hear that, hope it all works out okay for him.


I thought you were getting a job in London though? You working in Nottingham now, or was this just a training course up there?
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