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Unread 20 Feb 2007, 02:59   #1
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What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Today at work I said 'fags' when I meant to say 'faxes' and besides being corrected, nobody said anything. My boss is gay and has lived with his partner for ten years.

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Unread 20 Feb 2007, 07:13   #2
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tounge ever

I was at Lenscrafters, it's a prescription eye-glasses store, trying to window shop for a new pair of glasses. A very attractive sales girl, fairly young, maybe 18 or 19 years of age, asked me if I needed help. I told her, "can you show me where the Gays Section is?".

She stares at me for a few seconds as I try very hard to hide my embarrassment. Then I corrected myself with a "ahem.. I mean, Guys. M-Males section.. that's what I meant."

She goes "right this way, sir" with a very disturbed look on her face.
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Unread 20 Feb 2007, 07:32   #3
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tounge ever

Link to picture of demigod for added comedic effect.
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Unread 20 Feb 2007, 09:53   #4
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

When I was on a date with a girl, going to the cinema I said to her 'I rather sit on the other side because I'm left handed, it's easier'

She was amused and shocked at the same time. I felt like a complete moron. What the hell was I thinking? oh wai
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Unread 20 Feb 2007, 10:09   #5
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

I’d been seeing a lass for about 3 years or so, still teenagers but it was a fairly solid relationship. At least it was before she had an abortion without telling me but that coincidental.

She was close to her Grandma and when she passed away quite suddenly she understandably very upset. I guess at the time I struggled with her grief as she got quite distant on me, and it put a bit of strain on the relationship.

I’d arranged to meet her one day in the pub about 2 months after her loss, and she walked in with a face like a slapped arse.

The old brain went to sleep and my mouth engaged (I knew it was wrong but there was nothing I could do to stop it).

‘What’s wrong, has some other f****r died’ I said.

Suffice to say she left me nursing my pint and a rather deserved angry looking red cheek.
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Unread 20 Feb 2007, 16:38   #6
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

I was talking to one of my housemates on MSN the other day and instead of typing "give me a sec" i typed "give me a sex"
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Unread 20 Feb 2007, 23:56   #7
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

When I was young I had just started dating a girl named Candy (Candace actually but everyone called her Candy.) I decided to ask her to go out for a banana split and she accepted. Later on I ran into her girlfriend who was rather suspicious of me. She asked me if i was going to be seeing Candy later that evening to which I replied, "Yes. I intend to get a Candy split with banana, tonight."

The friend was scandalized but Candy showed up and seemed rather expectant all evening.
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Unread 21 Feb 2007, 00:08   #8
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

i made a 'your mum' joke to someone who's mum had died that week of a brain tumour.


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Unread 21 Feb 2007, 00:26   #9
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

in a conversation with a good friend of mine, recently after he had been diagnosed with terminal cancer - only few months left to live and all that, i used a romanian expression similar to "omg, that is to die for". he took it with a laugh. i felt like shit though
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Unread 21 Feb 2007, 00:37   #10
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
i made a 'your mum' joke to someone who's mum had died that week of a brain tumour.


I made a "your mum" joke to my sister today
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Unread 21 Feb 2007, 01:35   #11
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

during intercourse

wrong name: that of an ex

suffice to say, the fun was over
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Unread 21 Feb 2007, 18:58   #12
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

I was in college and we have to come up with a story but a story by pictures!

Anyway we were given two hours so I disappeared to the snooker hall for a few frames, few pints and a pack of fags. 5 minutes to go, I take a shit load of artistic photos of the snooker hall. It looked good considering that was one of the first times I had used a real camera and I had managed to do the lighting etc quite well. The pictures looked hot.

Got back to the classroom and our teacher person is about 25, if that. Shit hot on his photography. Me and my mate rolled in 5 minutes late and the girls from our group were doing their photos on Photoshop, making them look good etc. We nodded with approval.

Then he asked for our photos, so I gave him the memory card and he started looking through them.

He commented on how good they were, but then asked where the story was.

To which I replied in front of the audience of my peers (4 females, my mate and him)

"It was rumoured there was a rape in the snooker hall, so we thought we would check it out! We took pictures of where we think the rape might have taken place and how the balls were positioned."

Him being young, pretty cool just burst out laughing, knowing I was taking the piss but at least I got good pictures, my friend started laughing too. We were all laughing, then I looked at the girls and they were silent with looks of horror spread across their faces. It was a kodak moment.

It took an afternoon and most of today to convince them I'm not a rapist nor do I condone the word rape.*






*I much prefer suprise sex!
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Unread 21 Feb 2007, 20:17   #13
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Ah but the question is did you sink the pink?
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Unread 21 Feb 2007, 22:02   #14
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

I said dirty N****R whores once in a dance club.

They were playing rap music, do the math.
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Unread 22 Feb 2007, 01:32   #15
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Me, my cousin (Bob) and a friend (Bill) of me was sitting in front of a computer many years ago. My friends dad had died some years ago, but still I managed to f*ck up badly. I was supposed to ask my cousin Bob when his dad was coming home, but instead I said "When is your dad coming home, Bill?"

Even if it was years ago since his dad died, I still felt damn shit about it.
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Unread 27 Feb 2007, 01:06   #16
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluffie
during intercourse

wrong name: that of an ex

suffice to say, the fun was over
Same with a blowjob, lucky i still have a penis
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Unread 5 Mar 2007, 02:57   #17
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

My worst slip of the tongue resulted in me tasting poop rather than the good stuff.
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Unread 5 Mar 2007, 10:22   #18
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

I had only been with my girlfriend for about 3 months and we were watching Jeremy Kyle in bed.

It was a bit about someone cheating on their partner (the usual stuff) and I said 'Everyone cheats in a relationship'

This didnt go down to well.
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Unread 6 Mar 2007, 15:29   #19
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

The morning after getting rather drunk at Vampy's with a load of people off here & PB, Minty asked the rather attractive waitress for "Fried Breasts"
which was very amusing.
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Unread 6 Mar 2007, 15:50   #20
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

I was with Ste, Maladoni & Skiddy in a breakfast bar

With our big breakfasts we had a choice of fried bread, toast & a few others

The extremely fit waitress came over to take our order and I gave the request of

"And can I have that with fried breast"

Ste still brings it up even 'til today



Edit: I DIDN'T SEE YOU POST THAT GOD DAMN!
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Unread 6 Mar 2007, 15:53   #21
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

You only remembered cos I mentioned it in the other thread. (actually I only remembered then too)
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Unread 6 Mar 2007, 15:54   #22
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

I can't say whether you're right or wrong on that to be honest.

You did mention it in another thread, perhaps I'd have remembered.

Perhaps not
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Unread 8 Mar 2007, 17:33   #23
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Something just happened that made me think of this thread...

At work under my desk I have my own mini Stella fridge, which I let people put their food in from time to time.


A girl who had put her sandwich in the fridge went to aerobics last night, her muscles are really aching and she walked over and said

"If I go down*, I won't be able to get back up again"

So I said

"I'll get it up for you" :eek:


Not as bad as some in this thread, but with my fried breast incident i don't think I'm very good at keeping it buttoned!


*crouch down to the floor to get her sandwich out
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Unread 8 Mar 2007, 18:20   #24
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by Minty
A girl who had put her sandwich in the fridge went to aerobics last night, her muscles are really aching and she walked over and said

"If I go down*, I won't be able to get back up again"

So I said

"I'll get it up for you" :eek:
I'd have probably replied with some sort of smartass lewd innuendo (i can't help it - my mouth does this before i realise it's not such a great idea ), so I think you had a lucky escape.
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Unread 9 Mar 2007, 16:17   #25
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
I'd have probably replied with some sort of smartass lewd innuendo (i can't help it - my mouth does this before i realise it's not such a great idea ), so I think you had a lucky escape.
Just remember, the best response known to man (or the most overused) for sexual inuendo is 'That's what she said'.
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Unread 9 Mar 2007, 18:27   #26
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by jt25man
Just remember, the best response known to man (or the most overused) for sexual inuendo is 'That's what she said'.
"That's what your mother said"

I've been taking "JBG Emulation 101" for the last few months!
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Unread 12 Mar 2007, 17:39   #27
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

There was this party with colleagues from work, and I had told my girl that recently the wife of one of the fellas had a baby. somehow he misinterpretaded that as 'being pregnant' and then the first thing she asks said fat girl is 'so hows your belly'.

She replied ' what are you talking about' My girl just smiled and then the suspense was such that i cant remember what happend next. quite sad though



Its not really a tongue slip up but it was so sad i had to share it with someone, sorry folks
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Unread 13 Mar 2007, 07:34   #28
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
I've been taking "JBG Emulation 101" for the last few months!
You should get a refund...it obviously isn't taking.
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Unread 13 Mar 2007, 18:24   #29
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

I'm not good at being JBG as I have more than one-dimension
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Unread 13 Mar 2007, 18:30   #30
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

I'm not good at being Tomkat as I have more than one hair
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Unread 13 Mar 2007, 18:33   #31
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

I once mixed up the words "are" and "aren't"! Oh how we laughed!

"hahahaha!" we said, as we clutched our sides and slapped each other on the back!
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Unread 13 Mar 2007, 22:13   #32
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluffie
during intercourse

wrong name: that of an ex

suffice to say, the fun was over

i do that all the time
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Unread 19 Mar 2007, 23:59   #33
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

some years ago i was coaching a team with Hans. we saw this fat girl **** up time after time and after a while i said "it's like watching an elephant trying ballet". then i looked over my right shoulder, right in the eyes of the mother.
i then quickly looked back to the pitch again.
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Unread 20 Mar 2007, 14:46   #34
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

You should have directed her to this forum.
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Unread 20 Mar 2007, 15:54   #35
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by KoeN
some years ago i was coaching a team with Hans. we saw this fat girl **** up time after time and after a while i said "it's like watching an elephant trying ballet". then i looked over my right shoulder, right in the eyes of the mother.
i then quickly looked back to the pitch again.
funniest shit ever <3
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Unread 20 Mar 2007, 16:49   #36
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

I told a girl whose mother had died (me not being knowledgeable of this) "Yeah but ive f*cked your mum". She started crying and didnt speak to me for 3 days till someone decided to tell her i didnt actually know about it. Fun.
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Unread 20 Mar 2007, 16:59   #37
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Interviewer: "If you could go back and meet anyone from history, who would it be?"

Me: "Hitler."



In fairness, the job was as a sales assistant at GAME. I really didn't care.
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Unread 20 Mar 2007, 17:09   #38
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by ReligFree
I told a girl whose mother had died (me not being knowledgeable of this) "Yeah but ive f*cked your mum". She started crying and didnt speak to me for 3 days till someone decided to tell her i didnt actually know about it. Fun.
I did something similar.
One morning at school, I tried to cheer up a girl in my class, as she looked kinda down. Im not sure what I exactly told her, but I tried to make some sort of joke. One of her grandparents had just died, so it failed misarably. She never forgave me

As always, helping people just doesn't pay off
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Unread 20 Mar 2007, 23:23   #39
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by furball
Interviewer: "If you could go back and meet anyone from history, who would it be?"

Me: "Hitler."



In fairness, the job was as a sales assistant at GAME. I really didn't care.
that's not a slip of the tongue, it's just being a twat
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Unread 20 Mar 2007, 23:46   #40
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
that's not a slip of the tongue, it's just being a twat
Not quite. I was sitting there trying to think of someone, and I just had this irresistible urge to say Hitler - it wasn't about being a twat at all. Looking back, I wish I'd just named someone like Churchill or Denning, it would have made things much easier.
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Unread 20 Mar 2007, 23:52   #41
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by furball
Not quite. I was sitting there trying to think of someone, and I just had this irresistible urge to say Hitler - it wasn't about being a twat at all. Looking back, I wish I'd just named someone like Churchill or Denning, it would have made things much easier.
denning was an egocentric tosser who treated philis (his wife) very badly indeed
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Unread 21 Mar 2007, 00:47   #42
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
denning was an egocentric tosser who treated philis (his wife) very badly indeed
He was never married to a 'philis'. He was first married to his sweetheart, Mary, and then after she died, a woman named Joan. There was never any allegation of domestic abuse - in fact, he was an incurable romantic.

I'm disappointed in you for thinking you could get away with this one.
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Unread 21 Mar 2007, 00:53   #43
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

He's right though, Denning was an egocentric tosser.
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Unread 21 Mar 2007, 01:02   #44
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by pig
He's right though, Denning was an egocentric tosser.
I'm hardly going to dispute that. Denning's judgements in trusts law are plain comical, you just end up laughing at him sometimes (e.g. Re Weston's Settlements).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Denning in Re Weston's Settlements
"The court should not consider merely the financial benefit to the infants or unborn children, but also their educational and social benefit. There are many things in life more worthwhile than money. One of these things is to be brought up in this our England, which is still "the envy of less happier lands". I do not believe it is for the benefit of children to be uprooted from England and transported to another country simply to avoid tax….Are they to be wanderers over the face of the earth, moving from this country to that, according to where they can best avoid tax? I cannot believe that to be right. Children are like trees: they grow stronger with firm roots."


But that doesn't mean that he beat his wife .
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Unread 21 Mar 2007, 01:10   #45
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
denning was an egocentric tosser who treated philis (his wife) very badly indeed
Quote:
Originally Posted by pig
He's right though, Denning was an egocentric tosser.
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Unread 21 Mar 2007, 01:13   #46
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

I'd quite like to meet Hitler. Aside from being one of the defining personalities of the 20th Century I'm presuming there'd be some satisfaction to be had killing him.
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Unread 21 Mar 2007, 01:21   #47
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

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Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
I'd quite like to meet Hitler. Aside from being one of the defining personalities of the 20th Century I'm presuming there'd be some satisfaction to be had killing him.
I agree, I don't see anything wrong in wanting to meet Hitler; he was obviously a charismatic leader with a defining personality and if soemeon said they'd like to meet him in an interview I'd see that they've thought about the question.

That's just me though.
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Unread 21 Mar 2007, 01:24   #48
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Egocentrical tosser just doesnt compare to Adolf "Mass murderer on a industrical scale" Hitler you know.
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Unread 21 Mar 2007, 01:26   #49
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
I'd quite like to meet Hitler. Aside from being one of the defining personalities of the 20th Century I'm presuming there'd be some satisfaction to be had killing him.
Depends when you meet him though. In the bunker in 1945 might diminish the whole experiance.

though you could mock him.
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Unread 21 Mar 2007, 01:29   #50
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Re: What's your worst slip of the tongue ever

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Originally Posted by All Systems Go
Depends when you meet him though. In the bunker in 1945 might diminish the whole experiance.
Perhaps, although I'm not altogether opposed to the principle of vengeance.
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