The lemmingrun, version 9.5

[Xeno]

And so the story goes:

I wasn't there to witness the preliminary discussions first hand, but I can pretty much imagine how it must have been:

In a rodent hideout, most likely a hole in the ground at the foot of a mighty mountain:

Lemming HC> Commander, the rodents are restless. The round is coming to an end, and the mandatory lemmingrun hasn't yet been carried out. Rumours in the community have it the lemmings are no more, and the lemming hordes, stupid as they may be, seem to find this rather insulting, sir.

Lemming Chief> Mandatory, you say? But hasn't this been a quiet round? There are no blocks to attack, no wars to be fought, no bandits to bite.

Lemming HC> With all due respect, sir, that doesn't cut it. History has shown us that the lemmings are incapable of maintaining their score until the end of the round. Massive suicide is bound to occur, and it is my recommendation that we implement some structure, guide the lemmings towards a cliff and carry out the inevitable in an orderly fashion.

Lemming Chief> Massive suicide, you say?

Lemming HC> Yes, sir. We might - in the end of the line - be facing a suicidal uprise, sir.

Lemming BC> If I may interrupt, sir, I must admit my teeth have been itching for days now. It's our heritage, sir, it's in our blood.

Lemming Chief> Good, then. I herebye order a collective suicide on all lemmings, carried out in an orderly fashion. You are allowed to search through my personal notes in the top secret, brown cardboard box over there, and single out the coordinates of the worthiest cliff.

I guess the officers praised this wise decision by their leader, and that they eagerly attacked the cardboard box immediately after.

Nothing is really streamlined in the lemming world, and it must surely have been a tremendous job to go through the massive amount of reports found in the box. Intelligence reports, battle reports, quite a few not-so-intelligent reports and a handfull of personal love letters were all curled up to form a ball, or a nest of some sort, as the top secret cardboard box also served as the very bed of His Highness the Lemming Chief Dworak. I won't even mention the amount of Lemming Chief Fur or Supreme Leader Droppings the ever so hardworking officers had to dig their way through.

But it payed off, as proven by this intermezzo:

In a rodent hideout, most likely a messy hole in the ground at the foot of a mighty mountain, small paper notes flying around in the cold, highland air, threatening to knock the lemming officers over:

Lemming HC> Sir, we think we've found it!

Lemming Chief> Excuse me?

Lemming HC> The target, sir. For the lemmingrun.

Lemming Chief> Oh, right - of course. What do you have for me, Officer?

Lemming HC> Judging from the content of the top secret cardboard box, sir, it seems the universe is reigned by a certain group of hostile creatures under the name of LDK.

Lemming Chief> LDK, you say? The name rings a bell... - Lobsters Denying Karma!

Lemming HC> Uhm...

Lemming BC> If I may: It stands for "Lifeform Designed to Kill", sir.

Lemming Chief> In the holy name of Duke Leto! What did you just say? Have you no shame?!

Lemming BC> Uh, well, I could of course be wrong, Commander sir. In fact I think it might indeed be the Lobsters Denying Karma.

Lemming HC> But it's perfect, sir! They are very big and very bad, and one of them has persistently been harassing innocent rodents throughout the entire round. He's been attacking us in-para and in-cluster, sir, thus violating all rules of conduct and sportslemmingship.

Lemming Chief> Dear, oh dear, it this truly so? Does he not know any graciousness whatsoever?

Lemming HC> None, Commander sir.

Lemming BC> And they deny Karma and lemming resurrection, sir.

Needless to say, the Lemming Chief was very concerned. He pondered the disturbing news from his officers, and soon realized there was nothing he could do but to gnaw the attack order into a nutshell (as is customary in times of crisis), and order the officers to xerox it and run over the hills and far, far away, demanding they spread the news to lemmings in every corner over the world.

The rest is history. The legend has it one lemming proudly flashed his teeth while cliffdiving to meet his destiny, and that they read the inscription "hirr today, gone in 60 seconds", but no one can tell for sure. The lemmings of hirr were no more, no one returned home to tell glorious tales of victory.

The legend also has it that the 17th planet of the universe actually dropped a place or twentyfour on the universal rankings, but who am I to tell - it could all be just another rumour.

The very last lemming of the universe, namely Lemming Chief Dworak himself, stared at The Nutgnawer Courier. His brown fur was softened by the bright sun, as he read the headlines: "hirr today, gone tomorrow - read more on pages 2-20".

A squeaky sound left his lungs as he yawned towards the dazzling sun; he folded the newspaper and put it gently to the ground. "I'll read it out loud", he said to himself, "as soon as the resurrected lemmings are here to listen".

The Lemming Chief curled up in a small cardboard box, wanting to have a nap before tidying up the paper notes laying around.

No wonder he was sleepy - he had enjoyed a huge lobster for supper.


Xeno

[Provider]

/me smiles

btw.. when will you rejoin our old galchan? You're being missed

[Scorpio]

I think you agree with me when I say "thank god, none survived".
Kinda amusing how you even managed to provide yourselves with about 200 gravestones


I have to give it to you though, last time hirr attacked me (38:6:3) and Basta (38:6:15), they pulled. Probably because they heard we only had fake defense. You belly-crawlers sure know what you want

[Dave]

At least hirr doesnt need friends/family/cousins/assorted furry animals to have accounts to have fun.

GJ, you quite clearly achieved your objective .

[Seth Mace]

Nice read, if only there was a little lemming in us all hey

[Lerxst]

\/ This game clearly needs this spirit more than "skilled" twats who only roid. I again bow my head in front of the mighty lemmings

[nORB]

I was retaling 3 lemming runners and i've got income from para 0 ships then asked why he's attacking me ..... and got answer:

From: Maverick of The Top Gun Flight School (41:10:19) 17/07/2003 14:29 GMT
Subject: Re: hi

what can I say, my fighters missed the lemmingrun so i needed them to die, you were attacking friends, so I attack you back. You'll kill my fighters for me and i'll be able to kill a few of the ships before they go with my vsharraks. I will be happy with the outcome

this leming runner has took most score that i was lost in attack whole round (1,9 mln) because most of my fleet was out It's quite an effective tactic

[hAl]

Our friendly galm8 The Editor of The Nutgnawer Courier died heroically with the masses.

hAl

[Wrath of Azure]

nice read a good change of pace on this damned forum

[princess]

Originally posted by Provider
/me smiles

btw.. when will you rejoin our old galchan? :) You're being missed

because he belongs in my gal chan now :D
was an honour to have you ingal xeno :)

[Hannes]

Originally posted by Wrath of Azure
nice read a good change of pace on this damned forum

indeed

[Hurragutten]

Respect, hirr

[Eventh]

Originally posted by nORB
this leming runner has took most score that i was lost in attack whole round (1,9 mln) because most of my fleet was out It's quite an effective tactic

if u had a fleet free u should send your ships away, as he couldnt steal roids.. thats the reason that tactic often fails =)

[TheACE]

a question to the lemmings: why dont do the lemming run next r in the beginning so u can kill your target and maby have more then 1 lemming run.

this is only an option, and my opinion

[Sun_Tzu]

nicely done hirr

[OlaTa]

Originally posted by TheACE
a question to the lemmings: why dont do the lemming run next r in the beginning so u can kill your target and maby have more then 1 lemming run.

this is only an option, and my opinion

well, usually hirr lemming run is aimed at the twat of the round. And that person has not be the nummero uno in uni, or smth similar, then lemmings bite back, and they select usually that guy as lemmingrun target, who abuses and annoys lemmings at moust. sometimes lemmings have to choose another target becouse that person may suck (hello TheRat in r9 )

So, i hope that now u understand why lemmings run only once in a round, and do it at the end.

OlaTa
Ex- hirr BC
Ex- lemming

[TehVader]

You not cuddly anymore Olata?

[Duke Leto]

Originally, the idea of a hirr attack on a dauntless foe was spawned from the desire to harm the attacked planet and even perhaps gain a few roids. After the initial attack on The Edge that ended in absolute failure, solace was taken in the fact that hirr members held true and suffered losses to prevent even greater losses if others pulled. A religion was generated from this incident propagated by iconic figures like Lurker and Leto and the mythology of the lemmings was born.

This sometimes takes away from some of the actual tactical accomplishments that this small alliance was capable of, even though in the grand scale of things, numbers, bots and account abuse kings always won out the day. But hirr attacks were often very effective.

In time, the lemming run was used as a weapon of fear, although who we actually scared is beyond my recognition... but in many cases, those targeted for a lemming run new that they would indeed suffer losses as the noble lemmings purpose was to due harm in the confidence of all hirrers maintaining their attack vectors to the very end... no one pulls.

The suicide element evolved from the perversion of the ideals and eccentricities of our members, who are severely cracked and at most times exist in a state of great moral terpitude.

Thus the run on the Edge was hirr's crucifix which we nailed ourselves to... and brought forth a religion of sacrificial masochism in the spirit of our members. This religion has twisted and warped into what it has become today, and from what I have read, seems to continue on in its current form outside of the leadership and guidance of some of the most well known Messiah's of the past.


: )

It's amazing how far this alliance has come from a semi serious clan of ex Action Quake 2 players and Norwegian Whalers.

Leto

[Queen DAX]

Leto

[Hurragutten]

Originally posted by TehVader
You not cuddly anymore Olata?

Yes, Howcome?

[OlaTa]

Originally posted by TehVader
You not cuddly anymore Olata?

Nope

Originally posted by Hurragutten
Yes, Howcome?

No comments

btw wtf U are ?? :P

[Endor]

welldone lemmings

too bad there arent more of your kind so your alliance could be bigger and have important lemmingruns all trough the round

but wouldnt be in the spirit of hirr right ?

[Hurragutten]

Originally posted by OlaTa

btw wtf U are ?? :P

Your worst nightmare?

nah, just a guy spamming these boards

[Bongdage]

Originally posted by Duke Leto


It's amazing how far this alliance has come from a semi serious clan of ex Action Quake 2 players and Norwegian Whalers.

one of you hirrers made riotx? fkin awesome handcannon map

[Fist]

gotta love the lemmingrun!