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3 Jul 2003, 03:39
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#1
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: stow, london
Posts: 78
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a joke
A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years.
As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her
on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction.
This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us.
Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear.
He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom.
Be strong, honey, I love you, too."
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You know you love meh
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3 Jul 2003, 04:27
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#2
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Oh Canada!
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Canada #eh?
Posts: 1,466
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lol, I like that one
__________________
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
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3 Jul 2003, 14:55
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#3
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
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it's not like har har funnny funny har har or anything.
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I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
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3 Jul 2003, 18:01
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#4
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Radical Edward
it's not like har har funnny funny har har or anything.
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Actually, It was
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3 Jul 2003, 18:03
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#5
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Balneário Camboriu- Santa Catarina- Brasil
Posts: 1,004
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Quote:
Originally posted by BarbieKen
Actually, It was
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no it wasnt
your sense of humour
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3 Jul 2003, 18:04
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#6
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Muslim
no it wasnt
your sense of humour
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You mean you didn't 'get it'?
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3 Jul 2003, 18:05
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#7
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Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
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well i *giggled*
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Where ever you go, there you are.
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3 Jul 2003, 18:08
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#8
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Ball
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 4,410
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So was he kissing her on the cheek or not?
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3 Jul 2003, 18:09
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#9
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Balneário Camboriu- Santa Catarina- Brasil
Posts: 1,004
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Quote:
Originally posted by BarbieKen
You mean you didn't 'get it'?
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i got it
and its no HAR HAR HAR humour, as radical pointed out
or as aryn and her giggle
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3 Jul 2003, 18:11
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#10
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Muslim
i got it
and its no HAR HAR HAR humour, as radical pointed out
or as aryn and her giggle
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The ex-con wanted to **** the husband. Not the wife moron!
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3 Jul 2003, 18:13
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#11
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Balneário Camboriu- Santa Catarina- Brasil
Posts: 1,004
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Quote:
Originally posted by BarbieKen
The ex-con wanted to **** the husband. Not the wife moron!
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everyone knows that you dumb****
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3 Jul 2003, 18:14
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#12
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Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
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homophobes would think this joke as unfunny
__________________
Where ever you go, there you are.
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3 Jul 2003, 18:14
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#13
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Muslim
everyone knows that you dumb****
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I JUST ****ING POINTED IT OUT TO YOU! IT'S NOT MY BLOODY FAULT YOUR A DENSE ****WANKER?
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3 Jul 2003, 18:17
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#14
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Ball
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 4,410
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Quote:
Originally posted by BarbieKen
The ex-con wanted to **** the husband. Not the wife moron!
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So why did the ex-con kiss her on the cheek?
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3 Jul 2003, 18:19
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#15
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Quote:
Originally posted by queball
So why did the ex-con kiss her on the cheek?
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He didn't?
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3 Jul 2003, 18:21
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#16
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Ball
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 4,410
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dante Hicks
He didn't?
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The omniscient narrator is never wrong. Unless this is a new form of story-telling.
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3 Jul 2003, 18:21
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#17
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Quote:
Originally posted by queball
The omniscient narrator is never wrong. Unless this is a new form of story-telling.
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He kissed her neck. And he must have been doing it just so when the wife told the story to someone else, it would seem hilarious.
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3 Jul 2003, 18:22
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#18
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Balneário Camboriu- Santa Catarina- Brasil
Posts: 1,004
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Quote:
Originally posted by BarbieKen
I JUST ****ING POINTED IT OUT TO YOU! IT'S NOT MY BLOODY FAULT YOUR A DENSE ****WANKER?
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you implied that i dont know that, by calling me a moron,
i just pointed out that I, as everyone else, knows that, what you tought to be such a inteligent "suprising turn of events" that only you, "oh mister brainy" would understand
now get the **** out of my forum
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3 Jul 2003, 18:22
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#19
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by queball
The omniscient narrator is never wrong. Unless this is a new form of story-telling.
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In other words. You didn't get it either.
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3 Jul 2003, 18:23
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#20
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Muslim
you implied that i dont know that, by calling me a moron,
i just pointed out that I, as everyone else, knows that, what you tought to be such a inteligent "suprising turn of events" that only you, "oh mister brainy" would understand
now get the **** out of my forum
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Nope! You've just made this joke 10x more funny to me, as I could enjoy a joke, and take a piss on you in the same thread. Preciate it, ****wit!
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3 Jul 2003, 18:23
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#21
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Quote:
Originally posted by queball
The omniscient narrator is never wrong. Unless this is a new form of story-telling.
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maybe he went back in time later and prevented the con from kissing his wife.
And accidentally turned him gay in the process.
so he saw the guy kiss his wife, and wanted to prevent it from occuring. and the wife only remembered him not kissing her. cause he was now gay.
This is clearly a deep, provocative essay on the ethics and dangers of time travel.
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3 Jul 2003, 18:24
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#22
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Ball
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 4,410
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Quote:
Originally posted by BarbieKen
In other words. You didn't get it either.
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surely he could have had plenty of gay sex in prison?
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3 Jul 2003, 18:25
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#23
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by queball
surely he could have had plenty of gay sex in prison?
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Your implying that most people in jail are gay?
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3 Jul 2003, 18:27
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#24
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Balneário Camboriu- Santa Catarina- Brasil
Posts: 1,004
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Quote:
Originally posted by BarbieKen
Nope! You've just made this joke 10x more funny to me, as I could enjoy a joke, and take a piss on you in the same thread. Preciate it, ****wit!
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well now I just realise how plain bad your sense of humour is
I bet you stop in the street when theres two dogs making out and you laugh your ass off
well, anyways, since you would find a conversation with a semiconscious person to be fun, enjoy
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3 Jul 2003, 18:27
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#25
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Quote:
Originally posted by queball
surely he could have had plenty of gay sex in prison?
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I can't think of any better way to get yourself back in the slammer than raping a guy.
Problem with murder is the best witness isn't available for court.
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3 Jul 2003, 18:27
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#26
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Ball
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 4,410
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Quote:
Originally posted by BarbieKen
Your implying that most people in jail are gay?
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"You're". And no.
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3 Jul 2003, 18:30
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#27
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Muslim
well now I just realise how plain bad your sense of humour is
I bet you stop in the street when theres two dogs making out and you laugh your ass off
well, anyways, since you would find a conversation with a semiconscious person to be fun, enjoy
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I would, I am, thanks!
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3 Jul 2003, 18:31
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#28
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Dirte
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,573
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It was remotely funny, but nothing mindblowing.
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3 Jul 2003, 18:32
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#29
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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First 'old' in an old joke thread.
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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3 Jul 2003, 18:35
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#30
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Quote:
Originally posted by BarbieKen
Your implying that most people in jail are gay?
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Men in jail don't rape other men because they are gay, they do it for the feeling of power (at least that's why i...never mind).
It's a great case study in sociology.
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3 Jul 2003, 18:38
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#31
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J to the C to the A G E
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Scúnthorpe
Posts: 5,583
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I thought it was more to do with no women than power.
I guess if that was the problem they could just wank though.
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3 Jul 2003, 18:40
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#32
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Quote:
Originally posted by LHC
I thought it was more to do with no women than power.
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So you are saying that if you couldn't find a chick that would hook up with you for a year or so you might just go for it if a gay man used a pick up line on you?
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3 Jul 2003, 18:43
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#33
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Anon.
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: not in Milton Keynes
Posts: 491
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Quote:
Originally posted by Muslim
I bet you stop in the street when theres two dogs making out and you laugh your ass off
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Sorry.
Is this a common occurence then?
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3 Jul 2003, 18:47
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#34
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J to the C to the A G E
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Scúnthorpe
Posts: 5,583
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Quote:
Originally posted by acropolis
So you are saying that if you couldn't find a chick that would hook up with you for a year or so you might just go for it if a gay man used a pick up line on you?
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I didnt say it applied to everyone.
Also, see my second line.
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3 Jul 2003, 18:49
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#35
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by queball
"You're". And no.
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I don't like "You're" I like Your! You get my point anyways, so I'm not about to change a habbit of typing it you're, however right it may be.
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4 Jul 2003, 08:39
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#36
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=Þ
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Canada
Posts: 252
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Quote:
Originally posted by acropolis
Men in jail don't rape other men because they are gay, they do it for the feeling of power (at least that's why i...never mind).
It's a great case study in sociology.
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i would assume they do it because then they at least get to stick it in some hole, i mean some chick can be really nasty and they just toss a bag on her head and its all good (i would still personally go the wanking route myself)
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"Never fear, I is here"
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4 Jul 2003, 11:48
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#37
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Angry Young Man
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street
Posts: 7,518
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Quote:
Originally posted by queball
So was he kissing her on the cheek or not?
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queball ((( i havent seen a thread in which you havent been grumpy and satirical for weeks (((
__________________
Believe in me, cause i don't believe in anything
And i wanna be someone, to believe, to believe in
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