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18 Aug 2005, 01:37
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#1
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________
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Somwhere I belong
Posts: 4,474
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I know it was asked here before....
but I couldn't find the thread for it. So here it goes:
Would you embark on a relationship with someone if you & the other person know it won't last for long and even if you love the person and that person loves you too?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by blink 182
Breathing deeply, walking backwards,
finding strength to call and ask her
Roller coaster favorite ride,
let me kiss you one last time.
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18 Aug 2005, 02:08
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#2
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
yes
'know it won't last for long' is no different from 'know that the other will die'
if you mean you. please do it. any happiness, even a brief one, is a truly wonderful thing.
__________________
hi
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18 Aug 2005, 03:25
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#3
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Angry Young Man
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street
Posts: 7,518
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
why not? id rather read about you whining its over rather than whining it never happened.
__________________
Believe in me, cause i don't believe in anything
And i wanna be someone, to believe, to believe in
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18 Aug 2005, 08:47
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#4
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1up on you
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Birmingham, UK
Posts: 4,007
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
yes id do it.
__________________
pig
[ 1u p]
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18 Aug 2005, 09:54
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#5
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
yes, it's worth it.
__________________
lazy
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18 Aug 2005, 10:14
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#6
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Registered Awesome Person
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 5,676
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Yes, I would. But why won't it last for long?
__________________
Finally free!
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18 Aug 2005, 10:16
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#7
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Of course it's worth it.
Am in a situation like that now, in fact.
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18 Aug 2005, 10:19
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#8
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nomen est omen
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Bristol, UK
Posts: 1,095
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
yes, it's worth it.
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__________________
Me=Hans_Blix
Views expressed are those of the author and not of any company or organisation I am associated with. Electronic communication can be forged and the integrity of this message is not guaranteed.
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18 Aug 2005, 10:23
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#9
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home wrecker
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: The other side of the galaxy ;)
Posts: 1,041
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
holiday romances rock !
__________________
May the Farce be with you...
#pr0nstars - a pimp is for life, not just for christmas
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18 Aug 2005, 10:26
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#10
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Tilting at windmills
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 579
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
The frantic glamour of youth.
Make the most of it.
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18 Aug 2005, 10:34
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#11
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
No I wouldn't.
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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18 Aug 2005, 10:39
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#12
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NEWSBOT
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: The enby cave!
Posts: 4,872
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
No I wouldn't.
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of course you wouldn't
http://pirate.planetarion.com/showpo...0&postcount=26
__________________
[20:27:47] <nodrog-aawy> **** i think my housemate just caught me masturbating
[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you
[13:17:00] <KaneED> i'm so closet i'm like narnia
__________________
Pretty parks and funky scrap metal things here
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18 Aug 2005, 10:46
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#13
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEWSBOT3
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Well yes, but besides that, I'd know that the whole way through the brief relationship I'd be anticipating the inevitable pain at the end. Therefore in the period, my happiness would be much less than it should be, and consequently, in marginal sadness at the end would be greater than marginal utility from said relationship hence deeming the decision to be negative.
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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18 Aug 2005, 10:47
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#14
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
I'd be anticipating the inevitable pain at the end.
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Is this your attitude to life generally?
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18 Aug 2005, 10:52
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#15
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
Is this your attitude to life generally?
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Not really , just relationships.
It's petty and irrational I know but it's something I can't shake off. Maybe, if I'm really honest to myself, I keep it up because it has some benefits, but it really would have to me "Ms Perfect" for want of a better phrase, coming along to break the depressive, lonely cycle.
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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18 Aug 2005, 11:08
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#16
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
I have really 'gone off' most relationships. In fact, I considered going celibate a while back. I've been functionally celibate for quite some time now, but I just thought making it 'official' might, er, do something.
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18 Aug 2005, 11:14
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#17
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
And I find the question entirely odd, btw. If you loved someone - really loved someone - then you would have an expectation to carry the relationship on as long as possible. How would you know it wouldn't last long? Why would it last only for a short period of time if there was real love in such a relationship?
It's a really bad question, as far as hypothetical questions go. Can't really follow it.
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18 Aug 2005, 11:24
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#18
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
there shouldn't be pain at the end if you know it's going to end at a specific point for a specific reason
__________________
lazy
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18 Aug 2005, 11:27
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#19
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
How would you know it wouldn't last long?
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It could be practical issues - e.g. one person is (say) only in the country for a year studying and will then be going home. The question becomes fairly reasonable if you consider it in that light.
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18 Aug 2005, 11:29
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#20
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
It could be practical issues - e.g. one person is (say) only in the country for a year studying and will then be going home. The question becomes fairly reasonable if you consider it in that light.
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I wouldn't consider a relationship like that a truly loving one. If you did love the person, and they loved you, then you would would be utterly determined to continue the relationship somehow. You wouldn't let 'practical problems' get in the way of that. The sort of thing you describe seems more like a fling really.
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18 Aug 2005, 11:40
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#21
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
I wouldn't consider a relationship like that a truly loving one.
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That's a pretty strict definition of love then. You do not necessarily have to believe that you will be with someone for your entire life to be in love with them. I'd imagine it'd be easy to fall in love with someone who you expected to live a lot shorter than period than yourself for instance (i.e. they were older than you, they were dying of some sort of disease, etc).
I have been in two major relationships in my adult life. In the first I (implicitly) believed that it would last forever. In the latter I knew it had a finite end-date. I cannot realistically say that I loved the former more than the latter (quite the opposite in fact).
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18 Aug 2005, 11:48
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#22
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
That's a pretty strict definition of love then.
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Well, yeah. I think 'love' is thrown around too much. A fair number of people will never really experience real love in their lives.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
You do not necessarily have to believe that you will be with someone for your entire life to be in love with them.
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Oh, I agree. But I don't accept the idea that someone would easily abandon a loving relationship. I think it would have to be some sort of situation like you describe, where one person had a terminal illness. And the answer to that seems fairly obvious.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
In the latter I knew it had a finite end-date.
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Why was that?
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18 Aug 2005, 12:40
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#23
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oh...sexy...
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: P-ville, still not Pieville...but close.
Posts: 515
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
You know this is a easily answered question, Yes.
__________________
Professional new guy.
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18 Aug 2005, 12:57
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#24
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
I have really 'gone off' most relationships.
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I have gone off relationships, or to be more precise, people in them. I've decided my three biggest hates at the moment are, in reverse order:
3) People who are happy.
2) People who are happy and in a loving relationship.
And number 1..
1) People who are happy because they are in a loving relationship.
I was an usher at a mates wedding the other week, and even though I suppose I should have, I just couldn't watch things like first dance and other loved up moments.
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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18 Aug 2005, 13:00
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#25
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
I have gone off relationships, or to be more precise, people in them. I've decided my three biggest hates at the moment are, in reverse order:
3) People who are happy.
2) People who are happy and in a loving relationship.
And number 1..
1) People who are happy because they are in a loving relationship.
I was an usher at a mates wedding the other week, and even though I suppose I should have, I just couldn't watch things like first dance and other loved up moments.
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I'm sensing great anger in you, young Stewalker.
Why do you hate these people? I don't hate them. I admire them.*
*Not in a freaky Kevin-Spacy-in-Seven 'I called at your home this morning.' way.
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18 Aug 2005, 13:05
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#26
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
I'm sensing great anger in you, young Stewalker.
Why do you hate these people?
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Jealousy.
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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18 Aug 2005, 13:16
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#27
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
Jealousy.
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The shadow of greed, that is.
Seriously. If this is the case, then you need to find someone who loves you.
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18 Aug 2005, 13:18
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#28
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
The shadow of greed, that is.
Seriously. If this is the case, then you need to find someone who loves you.
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Lets not get me on this subject, either in a jovial manner or a serious one - it's very dull for people and very emo.
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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18 Aug 2005, 13:21
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#29
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NEWSBOT
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: The enby cave!
Posts: 4,872
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
Lets not get me on this subject, either in a jovial manner or a serious one - it's very dull for people and very emo.
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__________________
[20:27:47] <nodrog-aawy> **** i think my housemate just caught me masturbating
[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you
[13:17:00] <KaneED> i'm so closet i'm like narnia
__________________
Pretty parks and funky scrap metal things here
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18 Aug 2005, 13:22
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#30
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blastoderm
but I couldn't find the thread for it.
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[1-X]
Is this what you were thinking of?
[/1-X]
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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18 Aug 2005, 13:25
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#31
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
Lets not get me on this subject, either in a jovial manner or a serious one - it's very dull for people and very emo.
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I think you're hating yourself more than you're hating other people. I think you're looking for sympathy and someone who understands you, rather than love, neccesarily. You don't have to do this. You can just explain to people how you feel. You don't have to disguise it.
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18 Aug 2005, 13:27
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#32
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
[1-X]
Is this what you were thinking of?
[/1-X]
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wow, one of my old threads \o/
__________________
lazy
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18 Aug 2005, 13:51
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#33
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
I think you're hating yourself more than you're hating other people. I think you're looking for sympathy and someone who understands you, rather than love, neccesarily. You don't have to do this. You can just explain to people how you feel. You don't have to disguise it.
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Are you trying to entice me into your lair?
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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18 Aug 2005, 13:54
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#34
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEWSBOT3
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Goodness, don't feel sad for me, I'm going to be rich.
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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18 Aug 2005, 14:02
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#35
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
Goodness, don't feel sad for me, I'm going to be rich.
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oh dear.
new money.
__________________
hi
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18 Aug 2005, 15:19
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#36
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NEWSBOT
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: The enby cave!
Posts: 4,872
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
Goodness, don't feel sad for me, I'm going to be rich.
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I know, i'm hoping you'll remember my sympathy and buy me a villa in the cypriot mountains
__________________
[20:27:47] <nodrog-aawy> **** i think my housemate just caught me masturbating
[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you
[13:17:00] <KaneED> i'm so closet i'm like narnia
__________________
Pretty parks and funky scrap metal things here
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18 Aug 2005, 18:46
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#37
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Mathamagician
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: At the very edge of existance
Posts: 1,803
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
you should by jolt .
__________________
I think I just had an evilgasm
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18 Aug 2005, 18:52
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#38
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USS Oklahoma
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,500
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blastoderm
but I couldn't find the thread for it. So here it goes:
Would you embark on a relationship with someone if you & the other person know it won't last for long and even if you love the person and that person loves you too?
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If you already love each other then the relationship is already embarked upon. That ship has sailed.
If you terminate the relationship now rather than when its time has run you will be no better off.
Love is always worthwhile.
Stew: keep a diary. At some point publish it as Stew's Diary. Get Hugh Grant to be in movie called Stew's Diary, then you can become REALLY rich.
__________________
Ignorance is curable, stupidity is not.
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18 Aug 2005, 19:09
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#39
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Next goal wins!
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: London
Posts: 5,406
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blastoderm
but I couldn't find the thread for it. So here it goes:
Would you embark on a relationship with someone if you & the other person know it won't last for long and even if you love the person and that person loves you too?
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Im pretty much doing that now, - the love, but still with significant emotional pain in the near future (i would imagine).
so in summary, yes.
__________________
bastard bastard bastard bastard
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18 Aug 2005, 19:13
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#40
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,174
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blastoderm
Would you embark on a relationship with someone if you & the other person know it won't last for long and even if you love the person and that person loves you too?
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In a heartbeat.
__________________
If one person is in delusion, they're called insane.
If many people are in delusion, it's called a religion.
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19 Aug 2005, 00:15
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#42
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________
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Somwhere I belong
Posts: 4,474
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
[1-X]
Is this what you were thinking of?
[/1-X]
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That's the one!
Let me give you guys an idea on how this friendship/relationship is going.
Girl and I met in a train station through someone in 2002.
I started making moves for her in mid 2003.
We declared our feelings for each other in mid 2004 (though did nothing physically).
She goes to Oxford for uni the same year.
Still kept in touch and seen each other occasionally (whether be it in London or Oxford)
June 2005, we pulled for the first time.
She loves me. And I love her.
She thinks a (another) long distance relationship won't work because she was seeing someone who lived in Watford and met only once a year for a week. To be honest, I've seen her more than that (at least I work and can afford travelling expenses.... and so does she..... unlike her ex).
I'm slightly afraid of the pain that I might suffer if it didn't work out. (I think I can live with her saying no if she firmly believes it won't work out)
*sigh*
I think I might see her for lunch tomorrow and ask her out properly (Friday has always been my lucky day in life).
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by blink 182
Breathing deeply, walking backwards,
finding strength to call and ask her
Roller coaster favorite ride,
let me kiss you one last time.
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19 Aug 2005, 00:20
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#43
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
nonsense. you'll be fine.
'long distance' indeed. take the tube.
clearly this other chap was a cad. you are most certainly not a cad.
__________________
hi
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19 Aug 2005, 00:31
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#44
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Registered Awesome Person
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 5,676
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Go for it. Love knows no bounds, except those you create.
__________________
Finally free!
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19 Aug 2005, 01:02
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#45
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by dda
Stew: keep a diary. At some point publish it as Stew's Diary. Get Hugh Grant to be in movie called Stew's Diary, then you can become REALLY rich.
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But it'll be dull
I could involve various true stories about bridesmaids and younger-than-me colleagues but I won't.
Edit: TK, don't worry, all will be fine.
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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19 Aug 2005, 10:55
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#46
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
Are you trying to entice me into your lair?
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No. I'm trying to force you to recognise that your life isn't really all that bad and you should stop complaining and indulging in pointless self-pity.
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19 Aug 2005, 11:03
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#47
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NEWSBOT
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: The enby cave!
Posts: 4,872
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
No. I'm trying to force you to recognise that your life isn't really all that bad and you should stop complaining and indulging in pointless self-pity.
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mm in not being all about the man-cock shocker
__________________
[20:27:47] <nodrog-aawy> **** i think my housemate just caught me masturbating
[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you
[13:17:00] <KaneED> i'm so closet i'm like narnia
__________________
Pretty parks and funky scrap metal things here
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19 Aug 2005, 12:05
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#48
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
'long distance' indeed. take the tube.
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__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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19 Aug 2005, 12:50
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#49
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEWSBOT3
mm in not being all about the man-cock shocker
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Keepin' it real yo.
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20 Aug 2005, 15:50
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#50
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Miles Teg
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Dom City
Posts: 5,192
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Re: I know it was asked here before....
It's better to regret what you have, then what you haven't done.
__________________
Audentes Fortuna Iuvat
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