Planetarion Forums

Ste · 10 Apr 2004, 19:08

HEH - I like anyway...

WHAT DO YOU DRINK?

A recent magazine survey interviewed fifty bartenders
and they were asked if they could identify a customer's
personality on what drinks they ordered.

Although interviewed separately, they concurred on
almost all counts.
The results:

IF A WOMAN'S DRINK IS:

BEER - Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
COCKTAILS OR BLENDER DRINKS WITH UMBRELLA Personality:
Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS E.G.; SCOTCH AND SODA.
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.
WATER Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a
Serious relationship.
Approach: Don't.
WINE - (BOTTLED, NOT A 4 LITRE CASK) Personality:
Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.
BACARDI BREEZIER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF
ICE, ETC
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and
sophisticated actually has absolutely no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in.
CAPE VELVET (Peach liqueur & Cream) Personality:
Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.
SHOTS AND SLAMMERS (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock etc.)
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk and
naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.

IF A MAN'S DRINK IS:

CIDER He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

CHEAP DOMESTIC BEER He's poor / student and wants to get laid.

PREMIUM LOCAL BEER He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

IMPORTED BEER He's old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

GUINNESS The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

WATER: He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid.

WINE He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him gets laid.

VODKA OR BRANDY Extremely horny hound would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

PORT Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

WHISKY He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

JACK DANIELS Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

RUM OR TEQUILA Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

CRUISERS, BACARDI BREEZIER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER,
SMIRNOFF ICE, ETC

He's gay (blatantly) - don't turn your back or pick up
any dropped change.

Androme · 10 Apr 2004, 19:11

Thanks, I always wondered what chicken-shit, horse-shit and bullshit would smell like if it was all mixed together in one post. Now I know

Ste · 10 Apr 2004, 19:15

I've had two cans of red bull and 4 pro-plus
i'm at the point where I think i'm a humming bird

Marilyn Manson · 10 Apr 2004, 19:30

Most male bartenders are knobs, and idiots to boot.

furball · 11 Apr 2004, 22:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

Most male bartenders are knobs, and idiots to boot.

Absolutly true, I got IDed by one in a bar I was at last night. The annoying thing is that the place runs with bouncers - i.e. no-one under 18 should be able to get in.

Being 18, it really pissed me off, especially when I'd been queuing for 20 minutes (don't ask)...slammed it down on the bar with a look of 'you ****ing ****'

MrPeach · 12 Apr 2004, 00:06

I don't have an quibbles with be IDed. Even though I am 19. When I am IDed both on the door and at the bar, it starts me thinking... and if I get IDed a third time in an establishment then it is obivously the time to complain or leave.

Marilyn Manson · 12 Apr 2004, 00:09

I am twenty one, 6'4, and look about fourty.

I don't go to clubs that request ID's, though, because I am neither teenaged nor shiet.

Stew · 12 Apr 2004, 00:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

I am twenty one, 6'4, and look about fourty.

You are not on netgamers gallery so this cannot be verified!

pablissimo · 12 Apr 2004, 00:13

I don't think I've ever been IDd at the bar after having been IDd on the door.

Where the **** do you people go to drink, COLDITZ?

Edit:
Edited for enhanced something

Marilyn Manson · 12 Apr 2004, 00:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stew

You are not on netgamers gallery so this cannot be verified!

Ask Mark, Skiddy, Ebany, Giles or Roadrunner.

Actually, I look about fifty.

Demon Dave · 12 Apr 2004, 00:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ste

GUINNESS The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

WINE He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him gets laid.

VODKA OR BRANDY Extremely horny hound would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

PORT Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

WHISKY He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

JACK DANIELS Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

RUM OR TEQUILA Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

CRUISERS, BACARDI BREEZIER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER,
SMIRNOFF ICE, ETC

He's gay (blatantly) - don't turn your back or pick up
any dropped change.

lol, the guiness one i found hilarious!!!

MrPeach · 12 Apr 2004, 01:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

I am twenty one, 6'4, and look about fourty.

I don't go to clubs that request ID's, though, because I am neither teenaged nor shiet.

But you are an arrogant ****.

In Reading try and have a night out without being IDed. When at uni I have never got IDed once (Bath).

Marilyn Manson · 12 Apr 2004, 01:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrPeach

In Reading try and have a night out without being IDed. When at uni I have never got IDed once (Bath).

You only get ID'd in shit clubs that are highly attractive to teenagers.

Conculsion: Reading is shit and it's population is 85% composed of teenage binge-drinkers. I think we can reasonably conclude this from my highly sophisticated reasoning, not to mention witness reports in this very thread.

Just go away and buy an umbrella. People like you irritate me.

Deepflow · 12 Apr 2004, 01:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ste

I've had two cans of red bull and 4 pro-plus
i'm at the point where I think i'm a humming bird

i fully endorse pro plus, i had 24 in two days and only needed 10 hours sleep for those 2 days and the 40 hours after that.

red bull just makes you feel like youre on speed if you have enough.

MrPeach · 12 Apr 2004, 01:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

You only get ID'd in shit clubs that are highly attractive to teenagers.

Conculsion: Reading is shit and it's population is 85% composed of teenage binge-drinkers. I think we can reasonably conclude this from my highly sophisticated reasoning, not to mention witness reports in this very thread.

Just go away and buy an umbrella. People like you irritate me.

So, if you lived in Reading you would stay at home by yourself rather than go out?

Fair enough, but it is arrogant to believe that anywhere that IDs is some how more lower class that where you go... as the fact places ID would generally suggest there are no underage people inside (or it is over 21s). And even so, this fact (if they ID or not) is 100% detached from anything to do with the standard of people the club attracts.

And we can also conclude, with some more highly sophisticated reasoning, that you are a sad lonely twat... not to mention some reports from some of you own threads.

Dante Hicks · 12 Apr 2004, 01:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

You only get ID'd in shit clubs that are highly attractive to teenagers.

This highly depends. And besides, why is a place being highly attractive to teenagers a bad thing?

Leshy · 12 Apr 2004, 01:19

Apparently I'm old.

Just because I prefer foreign beer.

Stew · 12 Apr 2004, 01:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

This highly depends. And besides, why is a place being highly attractive to teenagers a bad thing?

Too many paedo threads atm to keep up with!!

Deepflow · 12 Apr 2004, 01:21

any place that IDs tightly is generally shite in my experience, even if its IDing for 21.

you just get the OLDER townies.

Marilyn Manson · 12 Apr 2004, 01:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

This highly depends. And besides, why is a place being highly attractive to teenagers a bad thing?

How much do you wish to be payed to never contradict anything I say on this forum again?

There are girls up here in Newcastle, Dante. I can make Avril.

Marilyn Manson · 12 Apr 2004, 01:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrPeach

So, if you lived in Reading you would stay at home by yourself rather than go out?

I wouldn't live in Reading because Reading is the worst place in the world 'cos it's crap.

Deepflow · 12 Apr 2004, 01:23

your last 2 posts actually have a complete content of 0.

MrPeach · 12 Apr 2004, 01:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deepflow

any place that IDs tightly is generally shite in my experience, even if its IDing for 21.

you just get the OLDER townies.

IDing policy generally from my own experiences does not change from type of club, to type of club, but from area to area.

Deepflow · 12 Apr 2004, 01:25

our experiences apparently differ

top hole.

Marilyn Manson · 12 Apr 2004, 01:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deepflow

your last 2 posts actually have a complete content of 0.

Dante Hicks · 12 Apr 2004, 01:26

ID'ing depends on the venue, not the club night (I find).

And besides, the level of ID'ing often depends how long their licence renewal is away. They generally have token measures in place to keep the local authority happy.

MM : I'll stop contradicting you for a million pounds and/or an Avril look-a-like delivered to my door step.

MrPeach · 12 Apr 2004, 01:28

Well an example would be when some underage kid in Leads fell in a river and died after a night on the piss a few years ago, ID suddenly became quite essential for anyone going out...

But at the same time back in Reading, ID was not required anywhere.

Deepflow · 12 Apr 2004, 01:28

WHO ARE YOU EVEN TALKING TO?

god, even oliver letwin makes more sense than you.

btw, there was a page spread in the telegraph today about how michael howard wooed his wife. on page 3. Thought you might like it.

Marilyn Manson · 12 Apr 2004, 01:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

MM : I'll stop contradicting you for a million pounds and/or an Avril look-a-like delivered to my door step.

Does it matter whether she is alive, or indeed in a state of advanced putrefaction?

MrPeach · 12 Apr 2004, 01:29

Night, I think Becker is on Paramount now so I'm off to watch that in bed.

Dante Hicks · 12 Apr 2004, 01:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

Does it matter whether she is alive, or indeed in a state of advanced putrefaction?

I'm not Dace, she'd need to be alive.

Marilyn Manson · 12 Apr 2004, 01:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deepflow

god, even oliver letwin makes more sense than you.

What can you expect from someone who lives in Reading.

Scum. Scum.

Deepflow · 12 Apr 2004, 01:32

this is the point where i wonder why i bothered when you were clearly not making sense on purpose anyway.

damn i wish my brother would get off the good computer

Marilyn Manson · 12 Apr 2004, 01:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

I'm not Dace, she'd need to be alive.

My plan needs to be modified somewhat, then. But it can work. We have the technology.

MrPeach · 12 Apr 2004, 01:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deepflow

WHO ARE YOU EVEN TALKING TO?

An example of how IDing varies from area to area.

IDing generally is almost 100% governed by how strict the police are in that area. After an underage death of a child after a night out drinking tends to spark the police into action (public pressure and the such).

3 years ago anyone could walk into a pub in Reading and get a pint, now on a friday night if you are under 21 it would be very safe to assume you need your ID. Whereas in Bath or Oxford still anyone could walk in...

This is not a difference of the class of pub, or the kind of people it attracts, as in many cases they have the same branded name and have the same nights with simular occupants... But it is a case that one of them is in Reading and the other is in Bath. Or whatever.

Deepflow · 12 Apr 2004, 01:36

you think that you do
know what i mean when i post
but you dont, oh no

PA HAIKU!

MrPeach · 12 Apr 2004, 01:42

Well lets just say you are wrong... If a club IDs or not clearly has almost nothing to do with its clientel unless you are talking about the two extremes.

My point may not be that clear as I have had a fair amount to drink tonight... however, at least I have made some attempt to make a point.

Whereas you have not. Night.

Deepflow · 12 Apr 2004, 01:45

you dont understand
the art of the haiku wins
against the drunken

also your post looked like
a dangerously
boring piece of turd

madi · 12 Apr 2004, 11:14

i read this

my head hurts

Dace · 12 Apr 2004, 19:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nonentity

Absolutly true, I got IDed by one in a bar I was at last night. The annoying thing is that the place runs with bouncers - i.e. no-one under 18 should be able to get in.

Being 18, it really pissed me off, especially when I'd been queuing for 20 minutes (don't ask)...slammed it down on the bar with a look of 'you ****ing ****'

!!!OMFG THEY DARED TO ID SOMEONE WHO WAS 18 OMFG!!!

Seriously D.W.I.

I was still getting IDed at 21.

You just grin and bear it ... nothing worth getting upset over.

Thankfully at 23 i can't remember the last time i was IDed (couple of years now).

Dace · 12 Apr 2004, 19:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by madi

i read this

my head hurts

A cute thing like you shouldn't be reading.

It's just not the done thing for a girl 'cause they're not smart enough.

That's why your head hurts.

Now off you go sweet cheeks and make yourself all pretty for your Uncle Rankin*.

Something like that is more like a decent feminine passtime.

*post PIC LINK to new pictures plsta.

Marilyn Manson · 12 Apr 2004, 20:24

Rankin is the sort of person that formed the core constituency of Fascist parties in the 1930's.

Dace · 12 Apr 2004, 20:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

Rankin is the sort of person that formed the core constituency of Fascist parties in the 1930's.

"How can it be a crime just to want what's best for your children?!"

furball · 12 Apr 2004, 21:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dace

!!!OMFG THEY DARED TO ID SOMEONE WHO WAS 18 OMFG!!!

Seriously D.W.I.

I was still getting IDed at 21.

You just grin and bear it ... nothing worth getting upset over.

Thankfully at 23 i can't remember the last time i was IDed (couple of years now).

Point taken, I was referring more to the fact that most male bartenders are knobs rather than the injustice of myself being IDed. I don't look 18 and expect to get IDed by bouncers on a door - but in Chelmsford it's usually 'understood' that if someone gets in on the door, they're 18 - especially if they don't look it, since they will definatly have been IDed.

With reference to the strictness of certain areas, I'd say that Chelmsford is very strict - if you look under 21, you're near certain to be IDed. You either need someone else's ID or to actually be 18 - and obviously I'm not advocating the former

roadrunner_0 · 12 Apr 2004, 23:17

MM, you do realise that friends of mine have been IDed at both trillians and cuba cuba, admittedly the guy who got IDed at trillians was actualy 32 (seriously) and the bouncer was just being a wanker for some reason, but there you go

Dante Hicks · 12 Apr 2004, 23:19

The idea that a place ID'ing people makes it a bad place is idiotic anyway.

Besides, I don't quite understand MM's "teenagers = shit" logic. Did he undergo some sort of Road to Damascus type conversion when he hit 20?

Marilyn Manson · 12 Apr 2004, 23:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

Besides, I don't quite understand MM's "teenagers = shit" logic. Did he undergo some sort of Road to Damascus type conversion when he hit 20?

I was Paul already.

Just because you 'fraternise' with them so much.

Dante Hicks · 12 Apr 2004, 23:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

I was Paul already.

Just because you 'fraternise' with them so much.

Maybe. Personally, pretty much every person I've ever meet has been irredeemably rubbish irrespective of age, so basing prejudice on age seems odd.

Similarly, I'd like to be a white supremacist, but most white people are shit.

edit : So you were a good teenager, but the rest are awful, yes?

Marilyn Manson · 13 Apr 2004, 00:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

Maybe. Personally, pretty much every person I've ever meet has been irredeemably rubbish irrespective of age, so basing prejudice on age seems odd.

Similarly, I'd like to be a white supremacist, but most white people are shit.

This is a bit of a pessimistic view of humanity, for a Communist.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

edit : So you were a good teenager, but the rest are awful, yes?

They aren't as good as I was, which is one crime for which I would reintroduce capital punishment.

I love how you actually take all this seriously. It's the closest thing to entertainment I get during these hours.

Dante Hicks · 13 Apr 2004, 00:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

This is a bit of a pessimistic view of humanity, for a Communist.

I'm sure we can all be redeemed via the struggle Comrade Manson.

And the struggle will begin with the kids!

Quote:

I love how you actually take all this seriously. It's the closest thing to entertainment I get during these hours.

It helps pass the time until I go to sleep and then have to deal with the horrible idea of work tommorow morning. Perhaps I am serotonin deprived at present, but I'd prefer to quibble in meaingless discussions like this then have to deal with that.

Plus, I take everything seriously. It's my gimmick.