I already posted this as a blog on PB, but since a lot of you don't go there I thought I'd post it on GD as well.
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It was a dark and misty night in the pits of Cardiff. Somewhere, an owl hooted. It'd probably spotted some kids robbing an off-license.
Fortunatly I was indoors, watching a shit chick-flick with my housemates. If karma had felt like saying hello, I'd have probably been shagging some gorgeous brunette about 15 minutes after it ended. Sadly, it didn't. Instead, the night got worse. I got thirsty.
We had one beer left. My mate wanted it as well. For reference, he's 6'2 and about 14 stone. I'm 5'8 and about 3 stone lighter.
I had to go for it with a pre-emptive strike on a cardboard box containing the sweet, sweet beer. Sadly, I was spotted. As he dove at me I drew on my years of martial arts experience and attempted to flip him over my shoulder. This should have been easy. However he wasn't having any of it and instead decided to land on my right shoulder, and in doing so forced my right arm backward, hard.
CRUNCH went the ligaments in my shoulder. I then proceeded to scream.
Getting up after about five minutes on the floor, I noticed that I could hardly lift my right arm. The fingers all wiggled though so I assumed it would all be ok. Then one of my female housemates suggested I tried to stretch my arm out a bit.
Alright then, thought I. So I rotated my arm backwards in an attempt to get some movement in it. Bad idea.
Pop.
It was the most sickening feeling of my life. I felt my shoulder and couldn't feel the top of my arm...instead, it was 2-3 inches down, out of the socket. I didn't scream in pain, just went straight into shock. My housemates then rushed me to the hospital.
The scene: A&E (the ER for Americans), Friday night at around 11pm. The drunks hadn't started arriving yet and it wasn't too busy there. My arm was in a sling, desperatly attempting to support one half of my ex-shoulder. It hurt whenever my arm swayed, which made getting out of the car a bastard.
They took me straight through to the triage area, and after about 10 minutes a friendly doctor came over, felt my shoulder and swiftly concluded that yes, my shoulder was dislocated.
"Well that's a ****ing suprise" thought I.
He then stuck an IV in my hand (which left a nasty bruise for about a week) and injected some painkillers into me. It felt quite strange as the liquid rushed up my arm, not really that pleasant. Then came the gas, which I was helpfully informed was the same stuff used in childbirth (
probably this stuff). It was good shit, this gas. Four deep breaths in a row and I went all light-headed, which was kinda cool.
I sat there for another 20 minutes and then got wheeled into resus (the place they treat car accident victims, etc) for an x-ray. Quite why they still needed to check that it really was dislocated - well who knows, but apparantly the x-ray itself "looked awesome" according to my housemates.
After another half hour sitting in resus, a doctor and a junior doctor came in. My housemates were told to clear off and the "oh shit this is really going to hurt isn't it" feeling washed over me. They chatted about how to do it, and I gathered that the junior doctor wanted to do it 'the less bio-mechanically sound' way, but was corrected by the senior doctor. Which was a relief, it's my damn shoulder and I didn't want it ****ed for the rest of my life.
Then they did it. That gas which made me dizzy after a few breaths? I took huge deep breaths of it constantly for about two minutes while they 'reduced' the shoulder, and it still hurt like hell (everything went burning white, etc).
This is how one website says they did it, but I'll describe it myself.
I was sitting up on the bed with my forearm level across my chest; my elbow was at a 90 degree angle. The doctor then took hold of my forearm and slowly lifted the arm up to a point where my forearm was level with my forehead. He then pulled the upper arm away from my body (keeping me pinned to the bed) in order to point the ball of the humerus back into the socket. Having done so, the arm was lifted fully over my head and then back down to my side. I felt the socket click several times as it went back in, although at the time I was rather busy with the overwhelming pain.
Once I came off the gas I felt suprisingly good, although a little dizzy. I stayed there for about another half hour, then my arm was put in a sling for two weeks. The shoulder's got stronger and stronger over the last couple of months, and apparantly I'm now fully rehabilitated. Go me!
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