Planetarion Forums

Yahwe · 1 Oct 2005, 02:55

Now. Our dear fellow GD brother, and my dear darling, is out on 'on the pull'

Normally he would have returned by half eleven to regail us with tales of his failures. BUT! But my friends has he? no no no. it is now over half past two. I rang him of course ....

Now we all know about his interest in the girl with the lip stud. (i never was quite happy with the idea of her) but what do i discover upon ringing? well our beloved is drunk I grant that. But it appears that he has gone on to drink with another girl.

CAN THIS BE???? we cry in unison?

Dace?

Being successful?

we must await the details. but i imagine that the remaining hours shall pass a little like this:

She was young, she was pure, she was new, she was nice She was fair, she was sweet seventeen.

He was old, he was vile, and no stranger to vice He was base, he was bad, he was mean.

He had slyly inveigled her up to his flat To view his collection of ‘stamps’, And he said as he hastened to put out the cat, the wine, his cigar and the lamps: Have some madeira, m'dear. You really have nothing to fear. I'm not trying to tempt you, that wouldn't be right, You shouldn't drink spirits at this time of night. Have some madeira, m'dear! It's really an excellent year. Now if it were gin, you'd be wrong to say yes The evil gin does would be hard to assess.. Besides it's inclined to affect my prowess, Have some madeira, m'dear!

Unaware of the wiles of the snake-in-the-grass And the fate of the maiden who topes, She lowered her standards by raising her glass, her courage, her eyes and his hopes.

She sipped it, she drank it, she drained it, she did! He quietly refilled it again,

And he said as he secretly carved one more notch on the butt of his gold-headed cane: Have some madeira, m'dear! I've got a small cask of it here. And once it's been opened, you know it won't keep. Do finish it up. It will help you to sleep!

Then there flashed through her mind what her mother had said with her antepenultimate breath, "Oh my child, should you look on the wine that is red Be prepared for a fate worse than death!" She let go her glass with a shrill little cry. Crash! Tinkle! it fell to the floor; When he asked, "What in Heaven?" She made no reply, up her mind, and a dash for the door.

Have some madeira, m'dear!!! Rang out down the hall loud and clear! With a tremulous cry that was filled with despair! As she fought to take breath in the cool midnight air; Have some madeira, m'dear!!!!!!!!! The words seemed to ring in her ear…..

Until the next morning, she woke in her bed With a smile on her lips and an ache in her head.…………..

And a beard in her ear hole that tickled and said: Have some madeira, m'dear!

s|k · 1 Oct 2005, 03:07

Just say no to drinking and posting.

Yahwe · 1 Oct 2005, 03:20

I assure you my spelling is not improved by sobriety.

alas.

1-X · 1 Oct 2005, 03:44

replace madeira with buckfast and you're probably spot on

Yahwe · 1 Oct 2005, 03:46

I was tempted to say 'rohypnol'

Qdeathstar · 1 Oct 2005, 05:37

Well, i think this topic explains yuour odd posts in the others..

Billy No Brains · 1 Oct 2005, 10:22

I bet Dace goes off like a rocket

Marilyn Manson · 1 Oct 2005, 14:14

I haven't pulled in years but I'm happy.

G.K Zhukov · 1 Oct 2005, 16:20

[Gladiator Voice]
Still no sign?
[/Gladiator Voice]

Dace · 1 Oct 2005, 16:43

Barmaid girl waved at me when i went into the pub last night. [/just mentioning it]

I later asked her her name (Laura).

Asking her out will have to wait till next week.

I went back to Lynne's last night with Lynne and one of her friends who was up in Glasgow to see her where i got stoned and continued my drinking (vodka and coke instead of the stella i'd been drinking earlier in the pub) then i felt quesy so i threw up then i phoned my sister to get her to come and pick me up but she'd been drinking so she couldn't drive so then i asked her to phone me a taxi but the taxi ****s weren't answering so i couldnt get one then i collapsed and passed out on the sofa and that was pretty much my night.

G.K Zhukov · 1 Oct 2005, 17:02

Using "Escorts" is cheating, he have to manage to pull by himself. When that is said, someone teach him how to drink.

Weeks · 1 Oct 2005, 17:17

There's something about the way Yahwe describes women that worries me to my very core. Don't know why.

Yahwe · 1 Oct 2005, 21:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dace

Barmaid girl waved at me when i went into the pub last night. [/just mentioning it]

I later asked her her name (Laura).

Asking her out will have to wait till next week.

I went back to Lynne's last night with Lynne and one of her friends who was up in Glasgow to see her where i got stoned and continued my drinking (vodka and coke instead of the stella i'd been drinking earlier in the pub) then i felt quesy so i threw up then i phoned my sister to get her to come and pick me up but she'd been drinking so she couldn't drive so then i asked her to phone me a taxi but the taxi ****s weren't answering so i couldnt get one then i collapsed and passed out on the sofa and that was pretty much my night.

my version was more exciting!!!

Yahwe · 1 Oct 2005, 23:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flavius

Madeira?

perhaps if you were less inclined to be lazy, you would appear less stupid

Yahwe · 1 Oct 2005, 23:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flavius

perhaps if you were less inclined to be a numb****, you would have noticed that I was joking and only making a reference to my home country

humour was it?

for all our sakes then please go on explaining your 'jokes'. i'm sure they deserve an audience of more than one.

dda · 2 Oct 2005, 01:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Billy No Brains

I bet Dace spews like a rocket

fixed

Dante Hicks · 2 Oct 2005, 08:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

I haven't pulled in years but I'm happy.

Liar.

Stew · 2 Oct 2005, 11:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

Liar.

Are you accusing him of not pulling or not being happy?

Marilyn Manson · 2 Oct 2005, 13:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

Liar.

I was actually thinking of going 'officially' celibate for a time.

Tomkat · 2 Oct 2005, 20:57

you know yahwe

for someone who criticises others frequently on making "rubbish threads"...

i am trying really hard not to scream pot kettle black.

really trying

help me, help yourself

etc!

ps hi dace i'll talk to you later ASK THAT GIRL OUT!

Marilyn Manson · 3 Oct 2005, 11:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nantoz

Joining a monastery and becoming a monk you mean?

I can see the attractions, tbh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nantoz

But then your genes would leave the gene pool, and there would never be anyone like you again!

That's good for society, surely?

Dante Hicks · 3 Oct 2005, 11:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

That's good for society, surely?

Not really. You're probably considerably "better" than the average person having kids these days. Presuming that genetics have any bearing on variances in behaviour of course.

Of course, you could have some sort of horrible genetic disorder you're not telling us about.

Ste · 3 Oct 2005, 11:56

Little MM's :eek:

JammyJim · 3 Oct 2005, 12:07

For some reason i imagined his children to look like this. Therefore i think it a good idea he become a monk.

Marilyn Manson · 3 Oct 2005, 13:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

You're probably considerably "better" than the average person having kids these days.

Perhaps I should have this printed on a T-shirt.

I don't actually have any intentions to have children, regardless of my pulling abilities, however. In fact, I am quite firmly set against the idea. So people can rest in their beds tonight.

1-X · 3 Oct 2005, 13:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by JammyJim

For some reason i imagined his children to look like this. Therefore i think it a good idea he become a monk.

I imagined his children to look like this...

Marilyn Manson · 3 Oct 2005, 13:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1-X

I imagined his children to look like this...

I assume the one of the far left is the product of an unholy union between me and Dace?

NEWSBOT3 · 3 Oct 2005, 14:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

I assume the one of the far left is the product of an unholy union between me and Dace?

That's so much funnier for having met both of you

Nodrog · 4 Oct 2005, 22:47

I thought that original post was quite poetic then google told me that you'd ripped half the lines off Flanders and Swann

KaneED · 4 Oct 2005, 23:27

Madeira cake is lovely!

Yahwe · 4 Oct 2005, 23:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nodrog

I thought that original post was quite poetic then google told me that you'd ripped half the lines off Flanders and Swann

you were supposed to be cultured enough to know that already.

dda · 5 Oct 2005, 03:21

I remembered it from seeing it recited on television. Not exactly cultured but cultured enough.

Yahwe · 5 Oct 2005, 03:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by dda

I remembered it from seeing it recited on television. Not exactly cultured but cultured enough.

you don't happen to remember where you saw it?

the only live recordings i have are radio. i would sell my kidney for a televised broadcast. (i'm quite serious)

dda · 5 Oct 2005, 03:28

I remember that it was Tony Randal who recited it, comple with appropriate leering. It may have been on Saturday Night Live or even Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In. How you would get a copy of it I haven't a clue.

As to the kidney thing, that is probably a good choice, you might get more for it than say your liver.

Yahwe · 5 Oct 2005, 03:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by dda

I remember that it was Tony Randal who recited it, comple with appropriate leering. It may have been on Saturday Night Live or even Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In. How you would get a copy of it I haven't a clue.

As to the kidney thing, that is probably a good choice, you might get more for it than say your liver.

how cruel

how justifiably cruel.

but i do so love the original.

dda · 5 Oct 2005, 03:33

I would like to have a copy of Graucho Marx singing:

Lydia! Oh, Lydia!
The encyclopidia.
Oh, Lydia the tatooed lady.