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1 Mar 2006, 10:57
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#1
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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a joke that amused me
Watched a film called Anal Lesbians the other day.
They spent the whole film going through the fridge labelling everything.
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lazy
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1 Mar 2006, 11:00
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#2
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NEWSBOT
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: The enby cave!
Posts: 4,872
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Re: a joke that amused me
I hurt.
urg.
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[20:27:47] <nodrog-aawy> **** i think my housemate just caught me masturbating
[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you
[13:17:00] <KaneED> i'm so closet i'm like narnia
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Pretty parks and funky scrap metal things here
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1 Mar 2006, 11:25
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#3
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Insanely Insignificant
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bournemouth
Posts: 1,056
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Re: a joke that amused me
You have brought misery down upon my sunny morning :/
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Very nearly there.
All is nothing, without you.
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1 Mar 2006, 11:38
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#4
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Registered Abuser
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Lincoln!!
Posts: 425
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Re: a joke that amused me
Knock knock...
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1 Mar 2006, 12:19
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#5
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I see you!
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: In any girl
Posts: 2,825
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Re: a joke that amused me
Who's there?
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1 Mar 2006, 12:37
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#6
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Registered Abuser
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Lincoln!!
Posts: 425
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Re: a joke that amused me
The shit joke police.
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1 Mar 2006, 12:49
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#7
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I see you!
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: In any girl
Posts: 2,825
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Re: a joke that amused me
The shit joke police who?
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1 Mar 2006, 12:51
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#8
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Registered Abuser
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Lincoln!!
Posts: 425
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Re: a joke that amused me
Edit: That was the joke btw, the shit joke police are here because a shit joke was told.
Last edited by PSH; 1 Mar 2006 at 17:29.
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1 Mar 2006, 16:49
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#9
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: a joke that amused me
i'm wounded wounded i say, by your replies, here's me, trying to brighten up your mundane days, and all you do is this? pfah!
i'm off to find another shit joke to post
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lazy
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1 Mar 2006, 16:52
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#10
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Banned
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: no where near you
Posts: 177
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Re: a joke that amused me
Whats the difference between a paedophile and a greyhound?
A greyhound waits for the hare.
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Gimmick xxx
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1 Mar 2006, 17:26
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#11
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 421
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Re: a joke that amused me
I have an amazing knock knock joke.
You start!
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1 Mar 2006, 18:00
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#12
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I see you!
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: In any girl
Posts: 2,825
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Re: a joke that amused me
knock knock
(now amaze us)
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1 Mar 2006, 20:14
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#13
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Rawr rawr
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Upside down
Posts: 5,300
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Re: a joke that amused me
Who's there?
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"Yay"
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2 Mar 2006, 10:50
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#14
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: a joke that amused me
and todays joke is:
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident"
"OH DEAR GOD NO!!!" George W. Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the
President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President, devastated, looksup and asks.......... "How many is a Brazillion??!"
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lazy
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2 Mar 2006, 11:01
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#15
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Registered Abuser
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Lincoln!!
Posts: 425
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Re: a joke that amused me
That's more like it!
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2 Mar 2006, 11:31
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#16
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I see you!
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: In any girl
Posts: 2,825
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Re: a joke that amused me
haha roadrunner, amazing joke
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3 Mar 2006, 10:48
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#17
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: a joke that amused me
todays joke
After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paristhat a new bell ringer was needed.
The bishop decided to conduct the interviews personally and went up to the belfry to begin the screening process.
After observing several applicants he decided to call it a day when, an armless man approached him and said he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job.
The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!"
"No matter," said the man. "Observe!"
And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had found a replacement for Quasimodo.
But suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side.
When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard moments before.
As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?"
"I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied,
"BUT HIS FACE RINGS A BELL"....
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lazy
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3 Mar 2006, 10:53
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#18
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: a joke that amused me
The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame.
The first man to approach him said, "Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honour his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty."
The bishop agreed to audition him, and, as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and dead on the spot.
Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief of this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. "What has happened? Who is the man?" the first monk asked breathlessly.
"I don't know his name,"sighed the distraught bishop,
but............."
"HE'S A DEAD RINGER FOR HIS BROTHER"...
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lazy
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3 Mar 2006, 12:30
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#19
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Throwing Shapes
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 797
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Re: a joke that amused me
A bear, a lion and a chicken are sitting around, talking about who is the hardest!
The bear says ' when I roar, the whole forest trembles'!
The lion says ' when I roar, the whole jungle shakes with fear'!
The chicken says ' all I have to do is cough and the whole world sh*ts itself'!!!
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Time is an Illusion, Lunchtime doubly so.
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3 Mar 2006, 12:33
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#20
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Blatantly overcooked
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,575
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Re: a joke that amused me
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
Watched a film called Anal Lesbians the other day.
They spent the whole film going through the fridge labelling everything.
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No comprendo
Can someone explain please?!
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Bizarrely overrated
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3 Mar 2006, 14:05
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#21
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Registered Abuser
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Lincoln!!
Posts: 425
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Re: a joke that amused me
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baron Morte
No comprendo
Can someone explain please?!
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Anal Character
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3 Mar 2006, 15:51
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#22
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________
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Somwhere I belong
Posts: 4,474
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Re: a joke that amused me
Good joke RR (and I was talking about the 1st one).
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blink 182
Breathing deeply, walking backwards,
finding strength to call and ask her
Roller coaster favorite ride,
let me kiss you one last time.
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3 Mar 2006, 16:26
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#23
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I see you!
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: In any girl
Posts: 2,825
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Re: a joke that amused me
Quote:
Originally Posted by CjC
A bear, a lion and a chicken are sitting around, talking about who is the hardest!
The bear says ' when I roar, the whole forest trembles'!
The lion says ' when I roar, the whole jungle shakes with fear'!
The chicken says ' all I have to do is cough and the whole world sh*ts itself'!!!
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Amazing. How about this: http://img489.imageshack.us/img489/6172/birdflu4ra.jpg
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