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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 21:14   #1
s|k
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The next pope...
...will be from Latin America. They have a huge catholic base there. More numerous and probably more active than in the Old World.
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 21:15   #2
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Re: The next pope...
... Will be FEMALE
FEAR!
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 21:16   #3
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Re: The next pope...
I bet the four preferiti will start turning up dead across Rome in 15 days!
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 21:26   #4
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Exclamation Re: The next pope...
Ratzinger 4 Pope
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 21:35   #5
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Re: The next pope...
I'd be the next pope except I don't want to be because they all die.
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 21:38   #6
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Exclamation Re: The next pope...
I'd be the next Pope, but I'm not a Catholic, or a Cardinal, I don't believe in God, any element of Catholic spiritual doctrine, and I am bisexual. Other than that, I feel I am well qualified for the challenges facing today's modern Papacy.
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 21:39   #7
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Re: The next pope...
Quote:
Originally Posted by LHC
I'd be the next pope except I don't want to be because they all die.
Yeah, fortunately those of us who don't become Pope don't die.
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 21:44   #8
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Re: The next pope...
Ill do it for the children.
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 21:45   #9
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Re: The next pope...
Comedy Option: Dace for Pope.

"Bring the children for me would get a new meaning"
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 21:46   #10
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Re: The next pope...
Comedy Option nr 2: Michael Jackson for Pope.
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 21:50   #11
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Exclamation Re: The next pope...
Quote:
Originally Posted by G.K Zhukov
Comedy Option: African Cardinal for Pope.
Fixed.
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 21:50   #12
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Re: The next pope...
My money is on one of those Chicago bishops, with the worlds media watching him he won't be able to shag any young boys again.

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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 21:52   #13
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Exclamation Re: The next pope...
The very phrase 'Chigaco bishops' has an undefinable air of deviancy and sedition about it.
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 21:57   #14
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Re: The next pope...
There's a black guy on the shortlist isn't there?
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 22:05   #15
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Re: The next pope...
The Next Pope will be ... Scottish!
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 22:16   #16
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Re: The next pope...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leshy
I bet the four preferiti will start turning up dead across Rome in 15 days!
I read that today. I wasn't impressed.

The next Pope will be... exactly the same as the last one (except for the obvious).
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 22:17   #17
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Re: The next pope...
they should make a big tv show out of it, have Simon Cowell criticising their Masses, the audience voting one out every week, and call it 'Pope Idol'
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 22:19   #18
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Exclamation Re: The next pope...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
There's a black guy on the shortlist isn't there?
I don't believe they have an actual 'shortlist'. There's been rumours that this black Cardinal might be a 'contender', but he looks a bit of a maverick to me.

Also, he's black. And most Catholics aren't black. In fact, most Catholics are - how shall we say - probably not all that acustomed to having a black fellow in a position of leadership.
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 22:20   #19
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Re: The next pope...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
In fact, most Catholics are - how shall we say - probably not all that acustomed to having a black fellow in a position of 'within four hundred yards'.
fixed
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 22:23   #20
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Re: The next pope...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
There's a black guy on the shortlist isn't there?
Is his name Cardinal Token ?

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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 22:23   #21
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Re: The next pope...
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1-X
they should make a big tv show out of it, have Simon Cowell criticising their Masses, the audience voting one out every week, and call it 'Pope Idol'

thats the funniest thing ive heard in ages, pos rep ahoy
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Unread 2 Apr 2005, 23:01   #22
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Re: The next pope...
Bush for pope! hes probably too much of a fundametalist for the catholic church, but at least he wont be able to do much damage. (you can hardly start a crussade with just a few guys from siwtzerland in funny dresses)
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 03:22   #23
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Re: The next pope...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vaio
Is his name Cardinal Token ?

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Oh, I get it!
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 11:37   #24
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Re: The next pope...
Quote:
Where is the next pope likely to come from?

The election is genuinely wide open but it is possible to identify some key players.

For 455 years before the election of Pope John Paul II all popes had been Italian. One of the big questions this time round is whether Italy will get the papacy back. Cardinal Dionigi Tettamanzi of Milan is a strong candidate.

But many Vatican watchers are far from convinced they will, for the simple reason that the proportion of Italians in the electoral body has declined in recent years.

Much more likely, they believe, is that the next pope will be from the developing world - and most likely from Latin America, whose cardinals now form a powerful voting bloc. One name that is being talked about is Cardinal Claudio Hummes, Archbishop of Sao Paulo in Brazil.

Nearly half of the world's baptised Catholics live in the Americas, and more live in Brazil than in any other country in the world.

There is a chance that an African pope could emerge from the conclave. Cardinal Francis Arinze is a Nigerian who has long been regarded as a serious contender.
from here.
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 11:49   #25
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Re: The next pope...
Dead Meat for pope! He surely fits the right age bracket, unless of course he's over 80 which case instant disqualification.
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 12:20   #26
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Exclamation Re: The next pope...
I suspect that no-one except the Cardinals has any real clue on who is likely to be elected. You can't with an elective process that is as secretive as this one. It could be any of the chaps that are being talked at atm. Possibly it could be someone we've never even heard of.
Last edited by Marilyn Manson; 3 Apr 2005 at 12:27.
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 13:08   #27
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Re: The next pope...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaime_Cardinal_Sin

Can we have him please ? For some reason i find the idea of Cardinal Sin as the Pope to be amusing Or Ratzinger, then we can watch the voting happen again in a few years time.
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 13:13   #28
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Exclamation Re: The next pope...
It's a shame Ratzinger wasn't in the Wehrmacht longer, then we could have had the edifying sight of him being elected Pope and being accused of war crimes, a la Kurt Waldheim.
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 14:34   #29
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Re: The next pope...
im still wondering why people care that much. its not like the pope has much power

edit: i can't believe that link in mm's signature is real
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 14:40   #30
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Re: The next pope...
Rumsfeld for Pope!
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 14:49   #31
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Re: The next pope...
ratzinger sounds like a psycho on that website
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 14:53   #32
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Exclamation Re: The next pope...
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
ratzinger sounds like a psycho on that website
He's a German psycho, the very best type.
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 14:56   #33
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Re: The next pope...
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
ratzinger sounds like a psycho on that website
Same here. I can imagine him getting his papal ring, turning to the masses and saying 'So It Begins'

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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 14:59   #34
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Re: The next pope...
i can imagine the headline now:

ratzinger for pope and holy war on the jews!

i bet zhukov would be the first to join up
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 14:59   #35
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Exclamation Re: The next pope...
Did we also mention that he is head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, formerly know as the Holy Inquisition?
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 16:06   #36
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Re: The next pope...
your website still calls him 'Grand Inquisitor for Mother Rome'. does this mean they start burning people again? i guess its time to finish that 30-years-war now...
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 16:10   #37
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Exclamation Re: The next pope...
Whereabouts in Germany do you live, wu_trax? Mabye I'll have Ratzinger send Tilly over to your town in order to lay seige to it.











P.S, It is not 'my' website. I wish it was.
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 16:17   #38
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Re: The next pope...
near hanover. better not though, the bavarians have more money than we today
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 16:27   #39
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Re: The next pope...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_popes

apparently there have been africans
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 16:55   #40
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Re: The next pope...
A black pope wouldn't look right in those clothes. A total re-design would be required.
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 18:19   #41
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Exclamation Re: The next pope...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nusselt
apparently there have been africans
They're unlikely to have been 'African' in the sense we know of today. All of them, I imagine, would have come from North Africa, which was extensively Greco-Romanised at the time.

In an case, so what? It's not like the fact that there was a Pope from Africa 1500 years ago has much bearing here.
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Unread 3 Apr 2005, 19:16   #42
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Re: The next pope...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratzinger's website
FAN CLUB MERCHANDISE! - T-Shirts & Hats! Lend a voice to the REAL faithful with our fan club t-shirts, bearing Ratzinger quotes selected by popular vote from the fan club's inner sanctum! The Ratzinger Fan Club T-Shirt! - "Putting the smackdown on heresy since 1981".
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Unread 4 Apr 2005, 09:03   #43
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Re: The next pope...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
Also, he's black. And most Catholics aren't black. In fact, most Catholics are - how shall we say - probably not all that acustomed to having a black fellow in a position of leadership.
oh I dunno, some of them like to put black people on crosses, and the christian head honcho was on a cross too, so being on a cross must imply the person is important for them.
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Unread 4 Apr 2005, 18:17   #44
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Exclamation Re: The next pope...
Aren't Southerners mostly Protestant Evangelicals?
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Unread 6 Apr 2005, 07:23   #45
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Re: The next pope...
well yes. it's also a KKK rule that you have to be protestant because Catholics aren't "true Christians" because they don't wear kilts and eat haggis. I just kind of hoped nobody would notice that because I couldn't be bothered to come up with a better joke.
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Unread 6 Apr 2005, 11:30   #46
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Androme can only hope to improve
Re: The next pope...
Derren Brown is a contender.
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