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21 Sep 2004, 15:43
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#1
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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It was bound to happen sooner or later
I slept in for my job.
It starts at 14:00.
I didnt go in on Friday either (as such im META ****ED).
I believe i deserve a round of applause.
A fake interweb pat on the back at the VERY least.
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On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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21 Sep 2004, 15:44
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#2
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Miles Teg
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Dom City
Posts: 5,192
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
pat on the back
what now?
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Audentes Fortuna Iuvat
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21 Sep 2004, 15:48
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#3
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
now we think up a decent excuse
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On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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21 Sep 2004, 15:57
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#4
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
God, please stop putting replies to this thread into my brain along the lines of;
'Sorry, I was down at the nursery and couldn't unstick myself from the floor'
'I went out with my girlfriend and she wanted another My Little Pony and we had to go to fifteen different stores and they didn't have one, so we had to go to a different town and that's when the police stopped me but it's all innocent you see, I thought it was a holiday and didn't realise she was late for school..........pre-school'
'Do you have ANY idea how long it takes to dig a shallow grave?'
etc.
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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21 Sep 2004, 16:00
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#5
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
i need something i can tell them*
*there is (/was) a chance that id end up working in that section (Fraud Investigation Unit) which would be cool as its the only interesting place to work in the passport office but now ive not shown up 2 days out of 3 i might have jepordised my chances :(
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On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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21 Sep 2004, 16:01
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#6
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
Tell the boss you went to the hospital. And that you have bad news.
YOU'RE TOO ****ING STUPID FOR THIS JOB, BITCH
Then get your coat.
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You're now playing ketchup
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21 Sep 2004, 16:02
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#7
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Banned
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,442
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
Tell them you've had a lot of trouble off your dealer lately and as such been unable to leave the house for fear of running into him, then twitch.
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21 Sep 2004, 16:02
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#8
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
poor plans :(
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On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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21 Sep 2004, 16:06
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#9
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th0ng gimp
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: somewhere in th0ngland
Posts: 1,798
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
you had the shits?
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No one significant ;o)
Former FAnG HC
Former JoV daddy
Former legion th0ng master
Proud to be Independent
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21 Sep 2004, 16:08
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#10
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Banned
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,442
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
Tell them your gf miscarried recently and then tried to commit suicide and as such trying to grab a few minutes away to call in was not doable, fortunately her mother just came through from <insert highland town here> and is taking her home for 2-4 weeks where she'll be taking proper care of and that you were considering breaking off the relationship anyway as she just had announced plans to move to <insert english town here> to persue a career where as you wanted to work up the employment tree here cause of the additional long term security of jobs in this area (everyone needs passports right?).
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21 Sep 2004, 16:10
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#11
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WANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAW
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Éire
Posts: 2,738
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
You spent all you time chasing some daft bint and decided to console yourself by comfort eating and lenghty masturbation sessions while watching cheap german porn. You were just too exhausted to go into work.
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I came, I saw, I shouldn't mix pleasure with carpentry.
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21 Sep 2004, 16:12
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#12
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
It's my dads bday today ... you think i could use that as a decent excuse (ie castration if i didnt turn up and id forgotten about it so i needed to see him today etc ... i aint forgotten tho and i took the night off)?!
(better attempt paul)
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On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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21 Sep 2004, 16:12
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#13
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
Quote:
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Originally Posted by IncubusGod
You spent all you time chasing some daft bint and decided to console yourself by comfort eating and lenghty masturbation sessions while watching cheap german porn. You were just too exhausted to go into work.
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Thats shockingly close to the truth ;'(
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On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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21 Sep 2004, 16:44
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#14
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
you were ill, so ill in fact that you went home and werre cared for by your loving parents and never left your bed for 2 days, and therefore couldnt phone
something along those lines...
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lazy
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21 Sep 2004, 16:46
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#15
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
Once I told my work my dad had died.
Why not try that?
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21 Sep 2004, 17:19
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#16
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The Bad Guy
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: East, East, East London
Posts: 2,107
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
I might do, but not sure if my work would accept your dad dying as an excuse :/
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I wear my sunglasses at night.
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21 Sep 2004, 17:53
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#17
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
No , but a grandparent dying , especially one thats genuinely been dead for years, and you were REALLY REALLY CLOSE TO could explain your 2 day period of mourning.
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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21 Sep 2004, 17:56
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#18
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
Well I said I had to take time off to help my mother arrange some things.
Fortunately I didn't have to pretend to grieve or anything as I'm known as an emotionless twat anyway.
edit : Before I phoned in, I checked my works procedures. We have a specific policy on "compassionate leave" on the death of a loved one, so it was all \o/
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21 Sep 2004, 18:05
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#19
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
"Why weren't you in?"
"Yeah but no but I was well I wasn't but you see it's because Sunday came on GD and he's a slag and no but yeah but no but yeah but well poker I was on a roll and so I was all posting telling them about no but yeah there's Kat and she well yeah and then we no but yeah I'm a pedo"
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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21 Sep 2004, 18:09
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#20
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Tomkat
"Why weren't you in?"
"Yeah but no but I was well I wasn't but you see it's because Sunday came on GD and he's a slag and no but yeah but no but yeah but well poker I was on a roll and so I was all posting telling them about no but yeah there's Kat and she well yeah and then we no but yeah I'm a pedo"
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POTW Nominee!
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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21 Sep 2004, 18:53
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#21
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Heh, Leeds !
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In The Redfern
Posts: 3,790
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
2nded
~Vaio~
__________________
The George Harrison of BlueTuba
Yes, I know he is dead !
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21 Sep 2004, 19:08
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#22
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For Crowly <3
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Luton, England
Posts: 1,391
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
3rded
__________________
[14:53:26] * Keiz`afk has joined #support
[14:53:36] <Keiz`afk> THE SMUDGE CHEERLEADING TEAM HAS ARRIVED
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21 Sep 2004, 19:14
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#23
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
\o/ !
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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21 Sep 2004, 22:08
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#24
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
i was in work (during the day) yesterday so ...
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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21 Sep 2004, 23:26
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#25
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^ ^ Clearly Stolen ^ ^
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Exeter
Posts: 753
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
"I had an urgent call from an OLD uncle telling me that he'd spotted my lucky hat in >insert english town name< so i travelled there and looked everywhere all day but all i found was a used condom which i promptly used on the nearest prostitute.....my uncle then phoned me and said that he made a mistake, it was actually in >enter african country here< so i got a plane out there and looked for ages but still no luck.
I wondered if it might be in my uncles house back in England. Thats where I left it, in the >insert place in house here<. I travelled back and sure enough there it was!!! Suddenly I was banged on the head from something behind. I woke up in my bed, it was all a dream. I looked at the clock and it was >insert time<!!!
OH Noes, im late for work! I cried.... So i got up and discovered id been handcuffed to the bed and a sticky mess all over me. There was a condom hanging off my shriveled dick. I had to shout for help!!
Finally Mrs >insert name< from next door came in. She phoned the fire brigade and they cut me out. By the time that was all done id missed work"
__________________
This is a stick - |
This a squiggly line - S
This is a hole - o
This is a man in a wheelchair - &
and that was my sig.
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21 Sep 2004, 23:31
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#26
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
Just say you were raped.
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22 Sep 2004, 00:00
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#27
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Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
a co-worker of mine had a doctors note and permission from teh boss that she could stay ho me and sleep in if she had insomnia the night before.
ofc she got fired yesterday 
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Where ever you go, there you are.
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22 Sep 2004, 09:00
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#28
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Who?
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: #Comfy
Posts: 743
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
I was woken up to an answering machine message from my Managing Director saying:
"Dan, a couple of words, where the **** are you?"
I got into work at 11am (Start at 8:30am) and promised it would never happen again (I had been drinking through till 5am).
2 weeks later it happened again, I got a verbal 
__________________
#cnuts
For all your homoerotic needs
<Bobzy> Minty, you have a line for everything
<Queen> MINTY ROCKS
<Ice-Lady> minty is a odd boy
<Game> Minty rocks
<Queen> no minty..cos u rock
<HobbieRogue4> Minty, you stone!
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22 Sep 2004, 09:53
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#29
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
so what happened dace?
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I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
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22 Sep 2004, 10:01
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#30
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Kurashima
POTW Nominee!
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Vaio
2nded
~Vaio~
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Smudge
3rded
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Where's my nomination I want my nomination where's my nomination.
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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23 Sep 2004, 02:38
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#31
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Radical Edward
so what happened dace?
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Nothing *shrug*
None of the bosses were in today.
Maybe tomorrow i shall discover thine wrath (but i doubt it*)
*it will just have been noted, commented upon in my absence and remembered if im ever considered for a full time job in there i guess (which is a bit of a ****er cause thats the only decent place to work in the office)
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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23 Sep 2004, 08:16
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#32
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Tomkat
Where's my nomination I want my nomination where's my nomination.
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Done.
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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23 Sep 2004, 17:37
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#33
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: It was bound to happen sooner or later
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Kurashima
Done.
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 for Kura :up
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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