Spiraling into depression....

[IncubusGod]

Ok yet again I find myself heading down that road I dont want to go down. Things start to get on top of me yet again and I know whats coming soon if I dnot do something about it. I'll get depressed and things shall turn to shit for a period of time. Usually longer than a month.

I know the dangers in asking GD for advice however I feel that a larger percentage of people here would know about this subject.

Basically Im looking for ways to distract myself or stop myself slipping back into a nasty period of feeling quite low. Now I refuse to try drugs as Im not suicidal,Im not going to hurt myself, it's more a mild-ish depressive thing.
I feel there's better options than that,Im hoping,and I would distinctly like to keep my mental health record as clean as possible for as long as possible.

I dont drink that much (especially for an Irish lad ) and have out only a handful of times over the past 2 months. My friends generally have gf's and there's no more mad nights out on the town,there are no more nights out on the town in general most of the time. Whipped friends < *
So the whole "blame it on alcohol" thing is out.

Ok so I dont have a gf. I failed part of my final year in univeristy last year and am currently supposed to be finishing up the same project I failed to even do last year (due to a very similar situation as this). However its not getting done and I've no motivation.
After being unemployed for months I got a shit job in Dell which has drained my very soul due to hideous working conditions and long long hours (average of 52 hours a week)
That contract is up and I've been offered a job that somewhat related to my proposed career of I.T.
However its a shitty Tech Support Call Centre job that pays €18,000 a year. Thats not much.I cant get a job as I've no experience and most places are calling for at least a year if not 2 before they even consider an application. Meaning that I will have to stay in this job for at least a year to gain something on my cv worth having.
Moving jobs isnt desirable as companies get suspicious with applicants who spend short periods in jobs before moving on.

I am still living at home as its close to university and the job and its free. There is no-one to move out with that I know of atm.
My birthday is soon and things are a hell of a lot worse than I thought they'd be at this age. Looking back over the past 5 years I feel I've wasted them almost entirely.

Suggestions on what to do,ways to manipulate these factors to stop myself getting hideously depressed again and becoming a lump that has no motivation no energy and gets lectured constantly by meddeling parents would be welcome.

I hear there's some program that teaches people how to avoid bad thoughts and flashbacks that drag them back down into depression once they are better , however I've not found any tips or tricks or advice from this online and I know no-one who's done the course.

For those stricken with A.D.D who couldnt bother reading all that I'll await your "hahahaha loser" responces with great anticipation.

[queball]

Eh, you get depressed, you get undepressed, sunrise sunset. Even if you keep busy all day long you'll still be by yourself when you go to sleep. Don't look for a way out, there is none.

[JBOY]

the avoid depression course is,or was for me, a bag of crap.
First tip, ask for a referrel to a psychiatrist, other than the stigma of going to see a shrink, and putting up with the annoying questions, the testing can actually help identify what kind of depression you suffer from, whether it's depressive episodes due to stress, which can be helped through courses, counselling, or whether it's a more medical kinda depression, SAD, bi-polar, Cyclical etc. If it's one of the medical ones, then, you're f***ed, heh. Well, not really, but the realisation that it's something thats going to happen every 3 months just because your breain goes doolally chemically is a bit of a downer.
One of the biggest symptoms of depression, but the least noticed, is not enjoying things you used to do.
eg, going out drinking, doing certain activity's, and most things you do normally or through routine eg: your job. Depression isn't just wanting to top yourself, it took me 4 years of all sorts of random behaviour which i dealt with badly, getting excessively drunk, violent, punching walls, before this year when it got 42 million times worse and i got made to see a Dr.
Birthday's are always bad times of year because you look back at what you've done, and with depression, that means very critically.

You have no motivation to complete the project, but you don't want to do the job that'll give you experience to continue in that field, common sense here says get yer finger out yer arse and finish the project.
Easier said than done when you can't be arsed and everything seems dull, but the thing to remember, and to try, is to take one thing at a time. rather than looking years ahead, or at the big project, take things day by day, just get the f'n thing started, and carry on with it bit by bit.

[JBOY]

Originally Posted by idimmu

get over yourself
get to a doctor
get some prozac
get better

Prozac != better.
Prozac = so much worse.

[Deepflow]

i know you dont want to... but prozac really does help an awful lot of people and puts you in a position to improve your life.

[Dace]

Originally Posted by Deepflow

i know you dont want to... but prozac really does help an awful lot of people and puts you in a position to improve your life.

Prozac only helps 1/3 of the people it's prescribed to.

There are alot of negative effects on alot of the other 2/3 too.

Personally i'd try to avoid drugs if i was you Incubus.

[Marilyn Manson]

Get yourself completely bloto every night and wank off to gay porn. That's what I do.

[Deepflow]

oh oh! its dace the doctor!



i dont know the statistics, just a few friends who have had it though, tehy say it helped. Also i worked with a lot of people on various anti depressants. The main problem IS the side effects though, but you do certainly notice an improvement in the majoraty of people prescribed them.

[Dace]

My suggestions:



Set yourself some goals like finishing your project (you should have a date firmly in your mind).

Also if IT is what you want to do then you're going to have to do the crappy job at some point to get your year/two year experience. As you already appear to have landed a job i suggest you take it (my m8 who has an engineering degree from Strathclyde and an IT type masters from Imperial took 5 months to get a job so it's better to grab what's offered to you ... just my opinion mind you). Whilst you're doing it you have the comfort of knowing it's only for 12/18/24 months and after that time (your jail sentence :) ) things will drastically improve (better job, better wages, better prospects etc).

Join some clubs. You need to broaden your circle of friends. Meet new people, experience new things. it will do wonders for you im sure.

Finally i would just like to say that things are pretty shit for alot of people. You are not alone. Just try and develop a fighting "i can get through this" "this wont last forever (and when its over things will be so much better)" attitude and things will pick up.

Good luck with things.

[Dace]

Originally Posted by Deepflow

oh oh! its dace the doctor!

:rolleyes:

No it's Dace "the person who reads NewScientist which summarises trials and things and gives me facts like that".

[Deepflow]

yeah yeah yeah...

etc.

ok, lets just say antidepressants rather than prozac.

i still think a 2/3 failure rate is inordinately high from my personal experience however. But i guess new scientist must know something or other.

it must have been being in my company that cheered them up then.

[Dace]

Must have been ...

[Deepflow]

meet me before you judge.

i spread love to all those whom i touch.

[Dace]

Originally Posted by Deepflow

i spread love to all those whom i touch.

!!!SEXUAL DEVIANT!!!

[Nodrog]

Originally Posted by Dace

Prozac only helps 1/3 of the people it's prescribed to.

There are alot of negative effects on alot of the other 2/3 too.
.

Is this including the people whom it helps due to placebo effects?

[Marilyn Manson]

Originally Posted by Deepflow

i spread love to all those whom i touch.

Not to mention AIDS-HIV.

[Dace]

Originally Posted by Nodrog

Is this including the people whom it helps due to placebo effects?

Can't remember.

[Nodrog]

well its kind of an important statistic, isnt it? I mean if 1/3 of people were helped because of the 'actual' effects of prozac and another 1/3 were helped due to 'placebo' effects, that would be 2/3s of people who benefitted from prozac.

[Dace]

1/3 of people were "helped" total.

[KaneED]

hmm i can't confirm it but i may have suffered from depression a couple of years ago, how strange i didn't even notice.

i'm being serious btw

[Deepflow]

Originally Posted by idimmu

surely if it ****s you up, you stop taking it and are all better?

so you get better by stopping taking the thing that made you worse that you took because you were bad in the first place and because you are no longer worse worse instead of being worse you are just good?

[Dead_Meat]

The thing I remember about when I started working was eaxctly what you're experiencing. Ok, I had a job that was interesting, but I had no idea where it would lead, whether it was the right thing I wanted to do, it didn't pay too well, but it was a job.

Then I went to Poly, played a hell of a lot of hockey, had a great laugh and developed as a person, went back into work without a degree and now have a job I can use all over the shop because of the expereince I have.

This isn't a 'Aren't I great, didn't it all work out great for me' post. When I was 18, doing that first job that made all the rest possible, I was stuck at home, all my mates were at Uni, I'd be down the pub with a bunch of cretins whose sole hope in life was to get out of the town I grew up in and move to Portsmouth.

Life's shit when you're young, but the things you do when you're at that age will always help in the long run. Sure, I used to wash dishes before I got a decent job, but washing the dishes meant the agency knew you were serious and wanted a job, not sitting on your arse waiting for the perfect job to come along.

Keep doing what you want to do, if it isn't IT, then sit back and decide what it is that you really like doing. I remember arguing with a guy I went to college with that he would do any job if it paid well, whereas I said I would only do the job I wanted to do and not have to hate going to work every day.

He's now sitting in a dead-end sales job he hates, earns more than I do, but I get a kick out of going to work with new customers every week.

Make the decisions early, while you have the options.

[Evergreen]

Top yourself, the world is crowded atm and I don't need anyone else getting motivated to get in my way.

[Dead_Meat]

Originally Posted by Evergreen

Top yourself, the world is crowded atm and I don't need anyone else getting motivated to get in my way.

http://pirate.planetarion.com/showthread.php?t=177008

[KaneED]

Originally Posted by Dead_Meat

The thing I remember about when I started working was eaxctly what you're experiencing. etc...

this is the first time i've ever seen DM's age as a benefit. how cool

[ChubbyChecker]

Your main problem seems to be that you have a negative outlook on everything. For example you say "I am still living at home as its close to university and the job and its free. There is no-one to move out with that I know of atm.". You say this as if living with your parents is a bad thing yet your excuse for not moving out is that you don't know anyone to move out with. There are entire magazines dedicated to showing you rooms for rent! Not that I'm saying you should move out, just that if you want to move out you can.

You also say "Moving jobs isnt desirable as companies get suspicious with applicants who spend short periods in jobs before moving on.". This excuse is bollocks and I think you know it. If you want to move jobs then you can, don't go building invisible barriers and telling yourself you can't.

I don't think your life is particularly bad, you just need to think about what you really want and go for it, not come up with excuses for why your life is shit.

[Dante Hicks]

I feel like this ocassionally although I've never experienced full on depression. My random unhelpful suggestions would be :

1. Stop thinking (if possible) about if you're "wasting" time, or if you've wasted time in the past. It's not helpful. This might also include not comparing yourself to other people.

2. Change your diet and start exercising. I know it sounds stupid, but it can help turn around other things. I find it slightly easier to get motivated/concentrate on intellectual tasks if I'm doing regular physical exercise. Obviously, you might already be doing this. But you can change your routine. Depression often results from feeling you are in a rut.

3. If you find it depressing that there's no-one to go out with, find other people to go out with. I know that sounds a little simplified, but it's not hard. A few months ago I found it depressing I had no-one to go out with (I'm into "alternative" rock music/cubs, none of my friends can be bothered to go out to places like that anymore), so I went out by myself. Yeah I know, haha loser - but now I know a fair few people there, and end up going with people I've met. And I'm probably the least sociable person around.

4. I know how you feel on the job front. My first job (after graduating) was in call-centre based tech support which started on £6 per hour (about £11k a year I guess). It was demeaning, mangagement were ****s, and I barely spoke to anyone when I worked there. I also despise work/effort of any kind.

But I'm guessing you're mildly smart, which automatically puts you ahead of 50% of other people there. Suggest things. Look at how they do things, and mention improvements. If you get a technical problem, research how it could be solved on the web independenly and e-mail your team leader with possible suggestions. People notice someone whose a little ahead of everyone else, and it can lead to improvements. In this case, I was made redundant before I got a chance to get promoted (the company collapsed basically). So I had to join another call-centre job. For even less money (£5 per hour). Once again, I suggested things, etc - and now I've promoted a few times and I'm on £21k a year with my own project to work on, etc. Things aren't hopeless basically.

5. Once again, can empathise on your final project. I'm useless when it comes to that - I did a lot of my final dissertation the night before it was due in after taking pro-plus to stay up.

All I can suggest here is if you have no motivation, try working on something else (something fun). It can often get the mind in gear to work more generally. So when I can't be bothered to work on Housing related stuff (for my masters course) I work on my own personal political stuff, or some programming projects. Sometimes there's crossover and it get's me restarted on the work I'm supposed to be doing.

Hope this helps. ChubbyChecker is right however, you need to improve your outlook. I'm paying a hell of a lot of money on rent and I'd love to be able to live back at home to save some cash. Unfortunately this isn't possible due to a mild hatred issue, but bleh.

Good Luck anyway.

[madi]

for a short time pills stopped me having panic attacks (by making too dopey to care so much)
and during the time i was taking them i learnt how to control it myself

i tend to go with the distraction angle too
but being a lot more short term these days (hours or sometimes a couple of days)
it is easier for me than having to manage for weeks

*more of a solidarity post than any sort of useful advise*

[Weeks]

* starting do physical exercise
* start trying to do things which you find enjoyable, it may be hard at first. but stick at some things for a while, like going out with friends to bars. you may start enjoying yourself
* talk to good friends
* dont spend all your time in front of the computer
* eat nice healthy food
* dont worry too much about. everyone spriales into depression. the people you think are fine normally are extremely ----ed up but are extremely good at hiding it.

[IncubusGod]

Thanks for the helpful advice and the sympathy at least.

The thing about being at home is that being nearly 23 years old now I find that having to share a room with my brother is getting quite tiresome,I am subjected to constant 'suggestions',nagging and in general I have no privacy. I am however handing money up when I get paid though its' less than if I was out renting.

I am aware there are options of just going out and moving in with some strangers but if I was that adventurous I'd have done that by now.

I said I had ruled out taking drugs to sort this out unless it was the clear last resort because of the experiences some of my relations have had on them.

I do excercise and it does help but it gets harder and harder to make myself do it.

Though the other suggestions I'll try, I'll try to keep a positive outlook on things and live it day by day. If nothing else this thread has shown me Im not alone*.
Thanks.

*vomit enducing girly group hug moment