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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 20:20   #1
skiddy
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**** me I'm hammered.
We head out of Glasgow central and decide tonights trip to Walkabout will be supported by every bar on the way.

Making it as far as a popular wine bar no more than 150m from the station, our plan is shattered.

They have pool tables.

On an empty stomach and a youthful urge we start on the foreign beer. After a few games of pool, at £1.50 per game, we are joined by two American commercial pilots. Judgement getting the better of me, I decide to mostly refrain from drunken political rants and chill for the evening.

They beat us at eight ball, we beat them at nine ball. Wrong. And might I add rude.

This continues most of the night until we are kicked out of upstairs. Possibly because Deffeh is smoking a joint the size of a donkeys penis.

Dude it smells sweet. The dope. Not the donkey. Or it's penis. Which there was not one of.

Just before we leave, I'm attracted to the end of the bar that isn't covered by a security camera and has Absolut sitting there free for the taking. Being a good boy though, I tell the supervisor to follow me and inform him that for various reasons I know more about security than he does and he must listen to me.

I point out that I could simply take the bottle and no one would know. He gets a small tumbler from behind the bar and pours me a drink.

It's clear.

It's stale.

It's ****ing water.

What a cock.

Heading downstairs I curse for a while and then we find a seat. In the non smoking area. Several attempts to move to a table that did allow smoking. We sit.

We chat for a while and admire the quite pretty, if not illegally underage (for both drinking and Dace).

We're kicked out. The bar is closing. We head outside and I chat randomly to some couple. He call's me a Mackem. I didn't care, but thought I'd make a scene to keep him happy.

So we're heading for a bar called Frankenstiens.

I ask a bouncer of its location. He informs me that he is 'bouncing' that very pub.

Strangely, I'd estimate if he had jumped up and down, bouncing would have been very close to what the local area would have been doing.

"Try somewhere else friend."

?

"Why?"

"You're friend is walking along smoking illegal substances."

"Oh and so that's why I can't come in."

"I believe you are in possession of them too."

At this point, I'm about a pint and a half away from beating this man into the wall.

I refrain, and offer him a peace purveying gift.

Some tissue paper from my coat pocket. Pink. Tissue. Paper.

He accepts after some arguing and me threatening not to leave until he does.

He then throws it to the floor. I leave. He did accept it originally after all.

We head round the corner. I have to be up in eight hours for work, but I want more alcohol. I want never gets...

We get held up by a back alley and ample pissing area. I'm relieved. In a non sexual way. But still felt good. Damn good.

Deffeh then follows.

I have no concept of time at this point. Deffeh throws up, then lies along the wall.

I apparently phone Emma, a vague memory which was later confirmed.

Dace disappears.

A few moments later he returns, proclaims "Right, follow me."

Inside I'm more excited than Harold Shipman at a nursing home. We're going to a bar. Infact, much like the closing moments of sexual intercourse, I just can't contain myself. "We're going to a bar!" I shout.

No. Dace bundles me and Deffeh into a taxi.

I can't believe we were sent home.

I make it to work ok this morning. I'm sitting there, fiddling with Exchange (isinteg.exe to be precice). Beep beep - beep beep.

Text message! I am loved.

Ooh it's from Deffeh.

"**** me I was hammered last night."

Dude --> Sweet.
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 20:25   #2
Smudge
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
Inside I'm more excited than Harold Shipman at a nursing home. = class!!!
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 20:34   #3
Stew
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
Enjoyed the sorty - but looking at your posting style, you've spent far more time with Dace than is healthy. Although given the lack of anger, you ahve not spent too much time with Deffeh.
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 20:47   #4
Kurashima
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
Emma still hasnt posted those pics of her in tight fitting leather.
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 20:51   #5
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
You should have continued drinking you lightweight bastard.
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 20:53   #6
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
This thread gets a big
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 20:57   #7
Dead_Meat
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hells Angel
**** me skiddy I'm hammered.
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 20:58   #8
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
lol
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 21:14   #9
sayonara
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
Class
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 21:48   #10
Smudge
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
well they did that before Mendy humped the door at J3
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 22:18   #11
Hells_Angel
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
sorry guys those tight leather pics are for Skiddy's eyes only :P
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 22:19   #12
skiddy
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skiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so little
Re: **** me I'm hammered.
It's like some warped Bond movie.
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 22:30   #13
Smudge
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
give me 5 mins at Hells Angels place and they will be available to be found on Internet
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 22:32   #14
skiddy
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
So this is how my life ends.

Every thread I make degenerates into a discussion about me and HA.

Fair one.
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 22:44   #15
Leshy
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
Quote:
Originally Posted by skiddy
It's like some warped Bondage movie.
Fixed for Dead_Meat style coolness.
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 22:50   #16
Kurashima
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
Quote:
Originally Posted by skiddy
So this is how my life ends.

Every thread I make degenerates into a discussion about me and HA.

Fair one.
If you will go to meets and get laid, and then tell all your friends on the internet about it, you must expect this response.
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 22:52   #17
Kurashima
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leshy
Fixed for Dead_Meat style coolness.
I want first refusal on the distribution rights for the DVD
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 22:53   #18
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
I leaked it first!
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 22:56   #19
Kurashima
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smudge
I leaked it first!
And then failed to follow it up with the tight fitting leather pics

FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 23:28   #20
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
OK just to clarify a couple of points:



1.) I didnt realise the Frankenstiens was so close to Yatse's and so as me and def walked past with def smoking a joint we both (without saying anything) decided not to try to get in but to go **** off for a bit finish the joint then try again later.

Not Skiddy tho. Ohhhhh no. Skid who was following a little bit behind us (he'd been chatting up a fat middle aged couple) thinks that trying to get in is a good idea.

What a dick (he is promptly told to **** off etc).



2.) Deffeh phoned for a taxi. I thought it would have arrived by a certain point. I went looking for it. It had arrived. I got the two ****os in their cab then went and got me some food. I was a good mate.
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 23:31   #21
skiddy
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Re: **** me I'm hammered.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurashima
If you will go to meets and get laid, and then tell all your friends on the internet about it, you must expect this response.
I didn't tell them.
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 23:39   #22
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JonnyBGood has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.JonnyBGood has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.JonnyBGood has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.JonnyBGood has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.JonnyBGood has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.JonnyBGood has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.JonnyBGood has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.JonnyBGood has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.JonnyBGood has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.JonnyBGood has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.JonnyBGood has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Re: **** me I'm hammered.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
I was a good mate.
Aha you befriended internet weirdos.
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Unread 4 Aug 2004, 23:46   #23
Deffeh
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street
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Deffeh has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Deffeh has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Deffeh has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Deffeh has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Deffeh has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Deffeh has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Deffeh has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Deffeh has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Deffeh has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Deffeh has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Deffeh has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Re: **** me I'm hammered.
You have to love the fact i was sick in an alley, and tried to sleep on a wall. Just a "wee bit" tipsy then.


Also Skiddy, you missed out the part where you tried to get the taxi driver to pull over and check his engine. I enjoyed that, in a comatosed state.
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