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Unread 2 May 2003, 09:54   #1
Freakozoid
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Crap Towns
Crap Towns

Portsmouth is second I think:

Town/Village: Portsmouth

The town during the day is the usual non-stop stream of half-dead pensioners, teenage mums and shell-suit bedecked amoebic life forms. By night these people really come alive, however, but choose to come alive using vandalism, street violence, verbal abuse, glue sniffing and rapid, canine-like sex in public against lamp posts.

There is also

Scottish crap towns
Surprisingly there are very few on this list.

Glenrothes is described as Milton Keynes designed by H P Lovecraft and the inhabitants are so pale they are practically translucent.
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Unread 3 May 2003, 23:13   #2
Freakozoid
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59 views and no posts !

Record?

or do i just supply threads with Leprosy contained within the words?
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Unread 3 May 2003, 23:19   #3
Jammers
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It's official, Shildon > Darlington.
God only knows how though, since theres nothing at all in Shildon
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Unread 3 May 2003, 23:23   #4
OneColourRed
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My home town is on that list
and the site is right it IS crap heh
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Unread 3 May 2003, 23:29   #5
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they missed out Camden
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Unread 3 May 2003, 23:33   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by Deffeh
they missed out Camden
It's not a proper town. They did include London though because they're stupid.

Anyway, how many times you visited Camden btw?
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Unread 3 May 2003, 23:35   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by Deffeh
they missed out Camden
Crap towns.

not a hard concept
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Unread 3 May 2003, 23:45   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dante Hicks
It's not a proper town. They did include London though because they're stupid.

Anyway, how many times you visited Camden btw?
once.

and it was the worst two hours of my entire life. Even worse than when i broke my back, or snapped my front tooth.
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Unread 3 May 2003, 23:56   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by Deffeh
once.

and it was the worst two hours of my entire life. Even worse than when i broke my back, or snapped my front tooth.
Camdens' like that

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Unread 4 May 2003, 00:13   #10
poshphil
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Peterborough isn't a ****ing town, its a city. Therefore that list is a big pile of **** and the guy who wrote the report knows nothing. Knob. There's plenty more pubs, and the ****ing MP for us is ****ing labour (even though she's a useless ****pot), so I suspect there possibly is call for the Guardian, even though it is a ****ty paper.

As you can tell, I'm not that happy about them slagging off my city like that. Bitches.
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Unread 4 May 2003, 12:29   #11
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Unread 4 May 2003, 12:34   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by poshphil
Peterborough isn't a ****ing town, its a city. Therefore that list is a big pile of **** and the guy who wrote the report knows nothing. Knob. There's plenty more pubs, and the ****ing MP for us is ****ing labour (even though she's a useless ****pot), so I suspect there possibly is call for the Guardian, even though it is a ****ty paper.

As you can tell, I'm not that happy about them slagging off my city like that. Bitches.
Well London isn't a town either - it's three cities and more than a dozen boroughs.
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Unread 4 May 2003, 12:36   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by poshphil
Peterborough isn't a ****ing town, its a city. Therefore that list is a big pile of **** and the guy who wrote the report knows nothing.
It could say "crap towns and cities" and would still have the same effect. Anyway, if it's a city, it's a small city.
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Unread 4 May 2003, 12:44   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by LHC
It could say "crap towns and cities" and would still have the same effect. Anyway, if it's a city, it's a small city.
thats not the point.

And I think that guy's biased.
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Unread 4 May 2003, 12:48   #15
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I think it's pretty obvious that he's supposed to be.
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Unread 7 May 2003, 17:03   #16
Marilyn Manson
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Exclamation
"Town/Village: Stockton on Tees
Amenities: Chip shops

My home town of Stockton on Tees, in Cleveland. The man who invented matches was from there, you know. Local torpor can be seen symbolised in the fact that railways were invented there, and they couldn't even be arsed to make a theme park out of that.

Having moved out at the earliest possible opportunity, I was able to see Stockton through the world's eyes on bringing my poncy new London mates up to visit one weekend. The evening featured a PA from the Swedish breakdancing champion at a local nite spot, and climaxed in a traditional visit to a late night chip shop, where the Rubenesque girl in front of us ordered chips, chops, cabbage, gravy and mushy peas, and whiled away the time while her order was being prepared by screaming to her mate, (who was down the end of the street with some pustuled consort): " 'Ave you shagged 'im yet, Nicola?"

It could be worse, you may say. It is. It's just that if I think too hard about it, I start to feel somehow... dirty. I do hope none of you are ever required to visit.

Cindy George"


I really don't think that conveys the ball-breaking ****tiness of Stockton. It plays it up.
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Unread 7 May 2003, 17:53   #17
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Re: Crap Towns
Quote:
Originally posted by Freakozoid

Glenrothes is described as Milton Keynes designed by H P Lovecraft and the inhabitants are so pale they are practically translucent.
JBOY lives in Glenrothes.

Nuff Said.

Oh , and Dumfries is absoloutely ****ing awful, but Stranraer , jeezus , thats where they should send murderers and rapists to spend their sentences. Goddamn ****ing horrific little town.
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