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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 01:21   #1
Tomkat
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The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Right now - at this present stage in my life - I'm feeling pretty studly.

I guess the stud-a-thon started 3 weeks ago or so.

3 weeks ago

I wasn't planning on going out this particular weekend. My flatmate had a friend coming down - Femke (dutch), who I had never met before.

Slim, 5'8/9, brunette, petite figure, pretty. 26.

Exchanged pleasantries on Friday night. Mocked something on TV (I forget what).

Saturday didn't see her until early evening, where her and my flatmate (Laura) invited me to some house party they were going to.

I was in two minds about it, as I would have known nobody there. Part of me loves not knowing anyone though, so i went along.

Anyway, cutting the story short, I ended up flirting heavily with Femke and us going back to my flat.

We slept together in my bed and had sex - after the sex she went back to the room she was sleeping in.

This was the first time I'd had sex in about 6 months, so I felt pretty good about myself.

Femke went back to Manchester the next day. I don't have her number or anything, but I'm sure I'll see her again.



2 weeks ago

I was in Exeter, for the "Safer Sex Ball" (huge charity event with about 3000 people all dressed up in kinky type costumes).

This girl called Carice was flirting a little bit with me there - but then, she was flirting with everyone, so I didn't pay it much heed.

We were staying at my friend Aaron's (ChipZ^ on these boards, incidentally). Carice and her friends crashed and came back with us all.

I was lying on his (Aaron's) bed talking to him.

Carice comes in and lies next to me.

Aaron raises his eyebrow at me and leaves, to sleep upstairs.

I climb into bed with her (it was cold, their heating wasn't working!).

She tries to cuddle me but I'm busy drinking my can of Stella

She takes it off me and puts it on the floor

See, the thing is - Carice is a gigantic cocktease. So me pretending I couldn't be bothered with her scored me points.

I pretended to go to sleep and she started cuddling me.

Bingo, I thought.

I cuddled back, a bit reluctantly.

She became more forward.

I responded in kind (only polite, you know).

Anyway, cutting to the chase, we didn't have sex, but we did fool around a bit.

Tom felt more studly.

Carice also left the bed after a few hours, so I had it all to myself.



This weekend

My friends from Jersey (who went to uni with me) came to visit me in London, as there was an Exeter reunion of sorts on Saturday night.

We all went along.

It was very cool, very surreal seeing all these people again.

One of the girls who was staying with me - Nathalie - ended up flirting with me (I didn't flirt with her - she instigated it! Honest guv)

We snogged a few times in the club.

I bailed and went to drink with my friends.

She followed.

I started to get annoyed and purposely tried to get rid of her. My friends all found it highly amusing.

Cutting to the end of the night, we all got a cab back.

We ended up going to bed.

I got a cheeky handjob.

My studliness factor is exploding by now.

...She stayed in the bed with me.

...I ****ing hated it.

...She messed up all the sheets.

...She started trying to cuddle me in bed.

...She meant I couldnt spread out - I was pushed right to the edge.

This is a double bed, mind.




Anyway. This thread isn't just a big boast that I've had three separate girls in bed over 3 weekends. I am feeling amazing about the whole situation, but that isn't what I intended.

It's about what I want. There's no way I want a girlfriend.

I can't realistically see myself committing to anyone.

I got pissed off with this Nathalie girl yesterday because she didn't leave my flat until 4pm. She was already grating on my personal space.

I think I have a complex from my last girlfriend (broke up in January - she was very high maintenance).

I haven't met any girls I'd want as a girlfriend. I always find things with them (personality, physical, mental attributes) that would make me never want to go out with them for more than a few dates. I think I do it on purpose, subconsciously.

I can't commit.

I mean sure, I'm 22, I'm young and free etc - but since I've moved in with my flatmates, they now think I'm some sort of stud. I'm not - this sort of thing never normally happens to me.



I'm not entirely sure why I made this thread. I just am wondering if maybe I should grow up a bit. I don't want to get to 26-27-28-29-30 and still be trying to get a one-night stand or a bit of fun with a date.

Anyway.

I hope the rest of you are having fantastic lovelives.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 01:27   #2
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Sounds great Tom, why would you doubt the way you're living now? You're young, I would just enjoy it if I where you. When I was 22 I was already 4 years in a shitty relationship that went on for 3 more years. If I could turn back time I would've been doing what you described over those years.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 01:30   #3
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Dace is having a decent lovelife.





Two threads about success with women.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 01:35   #4
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
I'm not entirely sure why I made this thread. I just am wondering if maybe I should grow up a bit. I don't want to get to 26-27-28-29-30 and still be trying to get a one-night stand or a bit of fun with a date.
Why not?

But anyway, yeah it does sound like you're over-compensating from your last girlfriend. It's quite possible to have a sane, low maintenance girlfriend.
Quote:
I hope the rest of you are having fantastic lovelives.
This weekend I've "pulled" (only in a relatively minor snogging / exchanging numbers sort of way) three girls (ranging from 17 to 29). The only problem is that they're all due to turn up at the same club next week. I have to think of some sort of genius plan so they don't notice I'm dividing my time between them somehow.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 01:40   #5
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
This weekend I've "pulled" (only in a relatively minor snogging / exchanging numbers sort of way) three girls (ranging from 17 to 29). The only problem is that they're all due to turn up at the same club next week. I have to think of some sort of genius plan so they don't notice I'm dividing my time between them somehow.


I'm sure there are films dedicated to this kinda plot line ... don't you have to change outfits or something tho?!
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 01:48   #6
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
don't you have to change outfits or something tho?!
Probably but all my clothes look pretty much identical (black-top and black trousers or skirt). This might make such a plan slightly difficult to execute.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 01:50   #7
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
I'm sure there are films dedicated to this kinda plot line ... don't you have to change outfits or something tho?!
Even better...a Seinfeld episode.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 01:51   #8
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
It's quite possible to have a sane, low maintenance girlfriend.
But I'll be damned if anyone could find one.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 01:52   #9
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

This appears to have been a successful GD weekend as I also had sex last night (and this morning ) Hurrah for GD. Although dace's story seems to be a slightly delayed one
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 01:53   #10
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

I just had to posrep sniborp for that comment.

I could not have said it better, nor can anyone else.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 02:12   #11
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
This appears to have been a successful GD weekend as I also had sex last night (and this morning :) ) Hurrah for GD. Although dace's story seems to be a slightly delayed one :(


I've been holding back that particular "funneh" for 4 years.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 11:49   #12
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nantoz
Nice, Tom.

I did a Dace this weekend and got a 17 year old. I feel somewhat funn about it...

What was so wrong with this Nathalie initially? Since you didn't want to get it on with her?
Tom likes his personal space, he doesn't like girls that he needs a crowbar to get away from him.
Girl practically stuck to him like a limpit. => unhappy Tom.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:22   #13
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
I mean sure, I'm 22, I'm young and free etc - but since I've moved in with my flatmates, they now think I'm some sort of stud. I'm not - this sort of thing never normally happens to me.
So there's hope?
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:32   #14
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Tom, perhaps you just need a bigger bed?
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:33   #15
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
Tom, perhaps you just need a bigger bed?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tom earlier
...She stayed in the bed with me.

...I ****ing hated it.

...She messed up all the sheets.

...She started trying to cuddle me in bed.

...She meant I couldnt spread out - I was pushed right to the edge.

This is a double bed, mind.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:35   #16
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

have you never heard of a triple bed?
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:36   #17
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

top notch good read
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:38   #18
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

No, actually I haven't.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:40   #19
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Appocomaster
No, actually I haven't.
yes you have.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:41   #20
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

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Originally Posted by Appocomaster
No, actually I haven't.
!
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:42   #21
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

I've heard of King and Queen sized beds (apparently Queens are bigger than Kings, though I'm not sure if this is related to the fact we don't currently have a King, or some sort of relative obesity index between monachs) but never a triple bed
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:44   #22
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by JC
That's a triple bunk bed.
How is Tomkat meant to spread himself over all 3 beds? Unless he somehow dissembles himself, it won't happen. The only advantage is saying to clingly girl "Want to come back to my triple bed?" and forcing her to sleep above / below you (naturally she'd probably sleep below, unless you're too drunk to make it to a higher bunk).
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:44   #23
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
have you never heard of a triple bed?
yes you have.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:45   #24
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

I just got a new king size bed, tis awesome
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:46   #25
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
have you never heard of a triple bed?
yes you have.
are you smoking something?
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:46   #26
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

this thread is really going off at a tangent

PS bunkbeds is an ace idea

PITY I'M NOT 8!
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:47   #27
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

I dont really understand what the point of this thread is other than to talk about having had sex on the internet but ok.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:47   #28
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

no your 22, so you can suffice for the tripple bed!
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:48   #29
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
this thread is really going off at a tangent

PS bunkbeds is an ace idea

PITY I'M NOT 8!
All GD threads go off on tangents. If they don't have at least 2 tangental slants, they're not proper GD threads.

bunkbeds do have positive points, as I outlined
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:49   #30
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
I dont really understand what the point of this thread is other than to talk about having had sex on the internet but ok.
I had sex on the internet once*. how big is my epenis!!!!!!!!1111oneoneone
(I had a firewall and didn't give my address, so it was safe)








*ok I lie, more than once.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:51   #31
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Incidentally recently enough my goal in life changed from taking part in a lesbian orgy to using the word "blamo" during sex.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:52   #32
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Incidentally recently enough my goal in life changed from taking part in a lesbian orgy to using the word "blamo" during sex.
The hard part of that must be to actually have sex. Just yell "BLAMO" when you cum, easy
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:55   #33
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Appocomaster
are you smoking something?
I'm smoking a heady mix of your self respect and heroin.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:56   #34
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Appocomaster
The hard part of that must be to actually have sex. Just yell "BLAMO" when you cum, easy
I can imagine it sort of decreases your chances of repeat action. I was too afraid to use that the other night

















Wait shit, not afraid I mean drunk
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:57   #35
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
I'm smoking a heady mix of your self respect and heroin.
What's smoking heroin like, then?
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:57   #36
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Incidentally recently enough my goal in life changed from taking part in a lesbian orgy to using the word "blamo" during sex.
If i ever get to have sex again, i swear i'm gonna try this.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 13:58   #37
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
I can imagine it sort of decreases your chances of repeat action. I was too afraid to use that the other night

Wait shit, not afraid I mean drunk
It's not like you're dressing up in a wizard's robes and carrying around a wand.
Just say that you felt like a cannon or something, it was the best you'd ever had, etc etc
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 14:01   #38
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Appocomaster
It's not like you're dressing up in a wizard's robes and carrying around a wand.
Just say that you felt like a cannon or something, it was the best you'd ever had, etc etc
Oh yeah I forgot to mention that it has to be accompanied by a "money-shot" to the eyes.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 14:03   #39
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Oh yeah I forgot to mention that it has to be accompanied by a "money-shot" to the eyes.
You're just trying to make it more difficult.
"Have you heard protein is good for the skin? If you just close your eyes..."
"What? Half way through sex?"
"Yes! BLAMO!!"
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 14:03   #40
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Appocomaster
What's smoking heroin like, then?
It's like normal heroin, except that there is smoke coming off the top of it.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 14:04   #41
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Appocomaster
You're just trying to make it more difficult.
"Have you heard protein is good for the skin? If you just close your eyes..."
"What? Half way through sex?"
"Yes! BLAMO!!"
Well, it is my life goal. Might as well not make it too easy to accomplish.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 14:11   #42
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
It's like normal heroin, except that there is smoke coming off the top of it.
Surely that's a sign of combustion - so the heroin is different?
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 14:13   #43
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Well, it is my life goal. Might as well not make it too easy to accomplish.
It is pretty easy, you just need to be very horny and have a good shot at a girl's face.
You choose to make it difficult by introducing such factors as "wanting to have sex again", and possibly "try to avoid legal issues", "want to live after having carried out the goal", etc...
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 15:18   #44
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Appocomaster
It is pretty easy, you just need to be very horny and have a good shot at a girl's face.
reply 1:
I don't think he's a giant squid.

reply 2:
with cum not bullets.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 15:21   #45
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Radical Edward
reply 1:
I don't think he's a giant squid.

reply 2:
with cum not bullets.
how does being a giant squid come into it? unless you mean only male giant squids aren't always horny when thinking about cumming into a girls face?

and obviously I meant with cum. unless you feel you're up to long range projectiles, you're gonna have to have a reasonably close pelvis - face range.

"ahhh my chest hurts *collapses* *waits for girls to come around and check whats up* BLAMO!" is a possible, if not probable, scenario.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 17:00   #46
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Appocomaster
You're just trying to make it more difficult.
"Have you heard protein is good for the skin? If you just close your eyes..."
"What? Half way through sex?"
"Yes! BLAMO!!"
what's the point of going for the eyes if they're closed at the relevant point in time?

PS: and on topic, if you don't want to 'settle down', you almost certainly shouldn't. if you don't think you want to be in a 'committed' relatiosnhip with a given woman (because you see flaws etc.), you shouldn't be in one. A very wise man once said "Let your standards lower of their own accord; artificially lowered ones do not a happy man make."
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 17:36   #47
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

This was a succesful weekend in that Newcastle didn't get beaten.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 19:42   #48
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Right.

What you have to do is:

Set your mate up with the girl you fancy. Get him to share a bed with her. No sex obviously. Make him hog the entire bed all the time, kick her in the face etc. Then he dumps her. He does all this because you are paying him. Then you move in. Having experienced what it's like when someone else hogs the bed, she'll be very considerate of your space.

Of course, this all fall apart if you either have no friends, or have no money.

Oh, and I had more sex this weekend than some of you will get in a lifetime. Fnar.
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 19:45   #49
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

First to say 'How much an hour did you get paid' and 'Where can i downlaod the video'
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Unread 5 Dec 2005, 19:45   #50
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Re: The concept of a girlfriend frightens me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer
Right.

What you have to do is:

Set your mate up with the girl you fancy. Get him to share a bed with her. No sex obviously. Make him hog the entire bed all the time, kick her in the face etc. Then he dumps her. He does all this because you are paying him. Then you move in. Having experienced what it's like when someone else hogs the bed, she'll be very considerate of your space.

Of course, this all fall apart if you either have no friends, or have no money.
Sounds like a foolproof idea.....

Quote:
Oh, and I had more sex this weekend than some of you will get in a lifetime. Fnar.
"suggestion that girl who posts on internet has better pulling power / sex life than boy on internet shocker"
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