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Bordom & Nightime, a temporary solution
Here's a game to play if you're bored. And it's late. And there's nothing to do. And there's a 24 hour Supermarket nearby.
Go at some obscene hour for regular people, such as 4:27am.
Enter while (apparenty) not under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
Procees to purchase the most random items you possibly can.
See if the sleep deprived cashier notices.
For instance:
1 Kiwi fruit
2 Mouse Traps
1 Bottle of glue
3 Packets of Rubber Bands
1 Copy of 'Farmers Journal Weekly'
1 3-pack of Pina Colada Flavoured Condoms
The sleep deprived nature of these people will mean they start to scan in the items without thinking. As the number of items scanned increases, slowly a moment of dawing comprehension appears, symbolised by a puzzled frown. Trying to realise what exactly is nagging at the back of their mind.
Then they come to see your selection. They look at you.
It is important not to do anything but look like this is any normal shopping trip.
Points are awarded for lenght of puzzeled stare from cashier.
1-10 seconds = 10 points
10-20 seconds = 20 points
30+ seconds = 50 points
Actions such as scanning, payment or other non conversational activities can be occuring at the same time.
If/when you are asked about your purchases points are awarded for the following cases:
1. Uttering an excuse that will not have you labeled a psycho = 10 points
2. Relating a story which is considered plasuable by the cashier/security guard = 20 points
3. Arrving at an explaination that is fully accepted by the cashier/security guard = 50 points
Penalties and Extra Bonuses apply also, for example:
1. Failure to keep a straight face = -10points
2. Active laughing or snickering = -20 points
3. Being asked to leave or being escorted out = -50 points
4. Grabbing the supermarkets announcement microphone and singing the first verse of "Funkytown" by Lipps Inc. = +200 points
5. Running the lenght of the isle, throwing yourself to your knees and sliding along while air guitaring to whatever muzak they have playing over the speakers = +300 points
6. Standing outside at the window looking in saying "I can see you little fishies" and trying to feed the staff with a small tin of Goldfish Food = +1000 points
7. Convincing the staff to join you in a sing along to "I Touch Myself" by The Divinyls, with corresponding synchronized dance moves and light hearted innuendo = 1,00,000 points.
The winner will be the first person who wins.
Disclaimer: I bear no personal responsibility for concequences of this game suffered by any man, woman, child, land cow, pseudopod or green gooey globular green men from gaseous globes in the grebular galaxy.
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I came, I saw, I shouldn't mix pleasure with carpentry.
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Linear Mode
