The star ship Idiot

[Brimstone]

Brimstone after being extracted from Gryffin's portable armoury feels a little dazed, and for some reason agrees to help Gryffin re-arm himself, and sets off down the corridor trailing after him.

He has no idea, where he is, what he is doing, and is slightly unsure as to who he is and his sexuality. In his confusion, Brimstone decides to chat up a Cleaning robot that had appeared in the corridor beside them, and appeared to be travelling in the same direction.

"How you doing, er Hot Stuff?"

[flapjack]

*Flapjack appears from a random access hatch, snatches some of the molten teletubby and places it in a container*

*Flapjack then loudly screams something totally inaudible before disappearing into the access hatch, which promptly fuses with the walls and can thus only be opened by someone knowing its exact position*

*Flapjack then begins making his make through a maze of access pipes and shafts down to the research labatory, where he pops out of another random hatch, makes 2 bottles of H2O fall over and begins researching the molten teletubby substance for the next major plot even, which will occur after the current event ends*

[ASME]

After finally escaping the barnies, ASME had fled into the access pipes of the SSI, not knowing where he was or even when it was, ASME slowly felt his mind sliping away. If anyone had seen ASME they would have taken him for an escape form an insane asylum, always looking over his shoulder, shivering constantly and looking at things that moved, only they hadn't.

Knowing that soon all would be lost for him ASME slowly began to search for a way out of the access pipes, he searched for what seemed the longest of times, and many times was close to giving up, but finally he lent against the side of one of the pipes and in opened beneth him, sending him out with a crash as the hatch happened to be at the top of a corridor wall. And fell.... on top of Gryffin, daaging a wing in the process.

"Thank heaven i found you, i've been stuck in there for i dont know how long. Please, tell me that the Barnies have gone, please....." ASME managed to stutter out while untangling himself from Gryffin.

[Brimstone]

Brimstone, vaguely recognising the shape of ASME as it belly flopped out of another Random hatch (bloody things are everywhere, STOP FINDING RANDOM HATCHES! )

After ASME finished disconnected himself from Gryffin, he points down the corridor and says, "Yeah, they've all gone. Every last one of them. Run in that direction very fast and you'll not find a single barney. Nope Not ONE. Go on try it, its nice. I especially like corridor B16A. The trampled chewingum mixed with the spitballed walls really gives it a nice effect."

[flapjack]

ooc/ Brimstone, those random hatches are my only method of transportation. I can appear anywhere on the ship at any time. I remember a while back when I was breaking things in engineering, then we suddenly needed a helmsman. 1 post later Evil Ginge was sprawled out on the floor (my access hatch was directly below his seat) and I was flying the ship (badly) /ooc

*Flapjack continues researching, the current plot almost at an end*

[Evil_Ginge]

/ooc yup i remember that..... good times ooc/

[flapjack]

ooc/ post a RP thingie already, then I can set off the next major plot... /ooc

[Mad cat]

flollowing gryffin around backwards proves to be more difficult than origonally expected, he trips over the fallen form of asme dropping a couple heavy weapons on him

OI! why are you lying on the floor!? you silly monkey!

gives asme a kick for amusement and heads off to the holosuite where he breaks the generator to keep it from doing anything else

stupid computers!

[Gryffin]

*Gryffin stands up, growling at ASME.*

"Do you realise how painful wing injuries are???"

*Gryffin pummles ASME into a wall for a few seconds, and then reaches over and shuts down the holosuite. He then looks back at ASME as if only awoken, and stares at his rather battered features.*

"My word, how did that happen?? We have to get you to a medibay right now!"

*Gryffin grabs ASME and teleports the two of them to the medibay so that ASME can get healed and Gryffin can fix a strangely sore wing. The fact that they left half of the armoury lying in the corridor doesn't seem to concern either of them.*

[ASME]

*ASME jumps back from Gryffin and gets pummled into the wall*
*Groans in severe pain and gets transported to medibay*

After awakening in the medibay ASME looked around, he saw the medical staff, whoever they were, and Gryffin with a bandaged wing. Unable to recall what events took place to mena he had to be sent to the medibay, ASME swings his legs over the side of the bed hes on and stands up.

After testing out his legs making sure he had full use of them ASME sets off out of the medibay, passing Gryffin on the way out. ASME glanced at Gryffin and noticed the bandage on his wing(s).

"Don't wing injuries really hurt?" he asked. he paused waiting for an answer, then continued out of the medibay. Thinking about waht to do next, ASME went and found the bridge where he took control of the weapons array, since he knew he would never really feel safe again if he didnt have a weapon near to hand.

[flapjack]

*Flapjack in the mean time finished his last creation and released it upon the ship through a random ventilation duct, which happened to leave the hungry, slimy blob like thing not far from the medical ward. In addition to be slimy and hungry, which made it hard to hurt, it was also made out of the teletubby material, giving it the ability to spawn teletubbies, regenerate and in fact be strengthen significantly by eating sweet stuff and watching shows like Barney and The teletubbies*

*Flapjack fled through the vents while setting off the large destructive thing has entered the ship alarm*

[Evil_Ginge]

*Ginge, no it seems in total command of the ship takes over the role as captain*

"there arn't going to be any changes but it is compulsory to call me sir"

[Gryffin]

*Gryffin frowns at ASME.*

"Yes, yes they do."

*Gryffin skulks out of the medibay in a random direction, that happens to be towards the blob...what shall prevail? A near indestructible terror that spawns teletubbies at will, or a really really pissed off Irishman...find out next time I bother to post!*

[Mad cat]

mad cat gathers up all of gryffin's droped weapons and places them on his person, becoming more like a moving pile of guns with eyes than mad cat, he heads off in search of gryffin and happens upon the other side of the blob thing without noticeing, he begins strapping the weapons together, making a large turret without the base, he ties a peice of string to each trigger and brings them together into a single large knot-resembling mess, looking up at the sign above his head, mad cat reads "---> medbay"

there we go

mad cat hoists his bundle of guns and turns down the hallway, finally noticing the big glob and its minions, his eyes grow a little turn inwards and attempt to implode into the rest of his face dragging most of it with them, mad cat yanks at his face and trys to pull it back to normality, ignoring the fact that the bundle of weapons has fallen and dented the floor, in his struggles mad cat gets his foot caught in the mass of strings and trips, pulling all the triggers and setting off a birrage of weapons fire so great that the entire thing flies backwards, still fireing some weapons like the anti mech rocket launcher which only increases the damage to the hallway and pulls mad cat with it, dragging him a good thiry feet before crashing into a wall as he continues to pull on his face, the hallway where the weapons first went off is a scene of utter mayhem, whatever escaped being melted, vaporized, or blown into shrapnel is dented and blackened, the blob is also not feeling happy, as it has felt a good percentage of the volly and many of its minions are liying dead while at least two are running around with rockets buried in their faces, mad cat groans and stands up, looking back the way he came he finally manages to get his face back into its normal shape and begins to laugh uncontrollably at the sight of tellitubbies with rockets in their faces running in circles yelling "uh-oh!"

[ASME]

ASME looks at Ginge, and spontaniously says "SIR." and gets back to monitoring internal sensors. While look at the sensor readouts he notices several blips moving in different directions. One labled flapjack, one labled MadCat and one labled, "a really really pissed of Irishman". oh and an unidentified blob staning inbetween MadCat and the irishman. Suddenly there was a blaze of whte light as the sensors registered over 20 asorted weapons firing as well as several illegal weapons tht triggered alarms.

"SIR. There has been a unauthorised firing of weapons outside of the medibay. SIR. What should i do SIR?" asked ASME of the 'captain'.

[flapjack]

*Flapjack sabotages the internal sensors so he can once more move about the ship in an unnoticed and random fashion through the access hatches and maintenance tubes*

ooc/ When did the internal sensors get repaired? I didn't notice anything about it since the last time they got destroyed /ooc

[Zorro]

Zorro hears the alarm, and hits the deck.

"INCOMING!!!"

Shamlessly stealing lines from well-known movies, Zorro declares. "We'll have to destroy them ship to ship!" He heads for the fighter bay housing X-wing class ships and climbs into one. Powering up the engines, he prepares to take off.

"Zorro to flight command, the enemies will take it in the shorts!"

[Demon Dave]

*DD storms out of the armoury and makes his way onto the bridge, looking very angry*

"oi, you. captain bloke. what the hell's going on? somebody's gone and nicked all the weapons out of the armoury and the coffe machine on B Deck said that some madman has created a giant blob thing and set it rampaging around the ship. It also said that ASME wears ladies underwear"

*DD looks at ASME in a puzzled sort of fashion*

[Mad cat]

mad cat screws up his face in irritation as the alarms start to go off and points the mass of guns at the nearest one, this time standing well off to the side when he pulls the string and sends the guns through the floor tugging him with them and the alarm bell into a confusing plasmatic state, along with the floors and ceilings of at least two other decks

[Zorro]

Zorro waits until the engines are ready, then taxis to the take off bay. Deactivating the magnetic field, he guns the engines and shoots off into space.

"Zorro to flight command, I will be firing upon the ship in order to destroy the malfunctioning equipment."

Zorro turns his Star Wars stolen X-Wing back toward the ship and fires a few lazer rounds at the ship haphazardly. He watches as the power flickers on and off on the Main Deck.

"Zorro to flight command. If I can just shoot the power off, the emergency life support systems should kick on, and the maintenance tubes and access hatches will all seal shut, thus trapping the sabateur inside for the internal cleansing."

Now let's see, which one to hit?
Zorro fires the lazers again in random locations, causing temporary power outages to the areas he hits.

[Gryffin]

*There is a loud bang as one of the shots shorts out the lighting in the corridor with the blob in it, sending showers of sparks from blown conduits in the cieling down around it. As it looks around it, blind in the darkness and confused by the strangeness of it (teletubbies only ever being awake in the daytime), a slow crunching of footsteps on broken glass is heard from down the corridor. A voice drifts out of the murk, as dark as it's surroundings.*

"So, tubbybeast, you wouldn't stay dead, eh? Well, I'll have to do something about that."

*A flash of sparks reveals Gryffin, standing not five meters away, a sai sword in each hand, and a dangerous smirk on his face.*

"Let's dance."

*The sparks cease, plunging the corridor back into darkness, and the tubbymonster begins attacking randomly into the black surrounding it, while Gryffin, able to see perfectly in the dark, dances around it's attacks, slicing and stabing into the monster with impudence.*

[flapjack]

*Flapjack pops up from a random access hatch in the bridge*

"I'm not a fricking madman, so get off my back."

*Flapjack realises he might have been better off not saying that when the various people in the room turn towards him, thus Flapjack disappears back into the ceiling, the hatch closing perfectly behind it. The only trace Flapjack had ever been there were several blast marks around the hatch*

[Evil_Ginge]

*Ginge sighs, looks at DD in a "i can't be bothered" way*

"don't know don't care, never will"

[Zorro]

Zorro determines that the best place to trigger an emergency shut down would be to hit the bridge. Circling around to the front of the ship, Zorro zeroes in on the bridge and fires a few lazer blasts into the windshield. However, due to the electro magnetic shield surrounding the ship, he only succeeds in triggering the windshield wipers.

[ASME]

"SIR!, just thought that you should know that the windshield wipers have been activated. SIR!" barked ASME, "SIR! What should i do? All the astrodust particles are being smeered across the windshield, should i activate the jets of anti-dust spray?SIR!"

After waiting for a response ASME decides to activate the anti-dust spray and gets rid of the dust on the windshield. After which ASME leans back and relaxes after what he thought was a job well done, the falls over backwards in his chair and onto the console behind him...

*bleep*

"Errr... SIR! I have just activated automatic ship lockdown mode!! All automatic weapons are coming online, SIR! I am alos detecting multiple robotic signitures activating acroos the ship, they seem to be the cleaning robots but they are acting like never before! SIR! im going down there, if im not back in 25 minuites, not bother looking for me.....!" and with this out burst ASME rolled under the closing blast doors that would seel of the bridge from most harm. Standing up ASME opened the nearby secret weapons locker and armed himself with several photon cannons, "Right then time to rock and roll."

[Mad cat]

mad cat watches a sentry turret pop out from the ceiling and pulls on one of the strings, firing a plasma caster, and causing the turret to melt and go back into hiding, mad cat then decides that it would be a good idea to hide himself and dissapears into one of the secret passages, dragging his gun pile behind him

[Zorro]

Finally, Zorro finds the chocolate milk storage bin on the ship, and proceeds to blast at it like there is no tomorrow. Watching the indicators on his flight control panel, he notes the success of his operation. All secret passages, vents, ducts, and the like are flooded with chocolate milk as the containment unit loses power. Soon, every room in the ship will be dripping chocolate milk.

[flapjack]

*Flapjack pops into the scuba room and grabs a set of scuba gear, before disappearing back into the secret passages*

"If I ever get my hands on the guy who did this...."

[Gryffin]

*Gryffin drops into a crouch as another tubby wirls over his head screaming at the top of his voice. It was unable to hit him, but he was unable to harm it...and then it started raining chocolate milk. Normally, this would just be annoying, but considering all the electric shorts in the vicinity, it could very quickly become char-grilled annoying. Gryffin jumps up, pushes of the wall, summersaults over the blob, grabs a zero-g support hold in the cieling, and lands on the far side of the increasingly large lake of milk surrounding the blob, just as it reaches a trailing wire. After 5 or so minutes or fireworks, Gryffin decided he liked the blob better when it was throwing tellytubbies, rather than molten bits of itself...*

[Demon Dave]

*DD looks up at one of the vents in the roof of the bridge, and listerns intently at a faint roaring sound, like chocolate milk flooding through the vents*

"whassat noise?"

[Brimstone]

*Brimstone wakes up from the dreamland he randomly drifted into, and momentarily wonders whats going and why he is in pitch black. He quickly grows accustom to the light, and from theglow of the slowly cooling newly added holes to the corridor, he spots a big multicoloured blob in the corridor, and gryffin whirling around it prodding it with something long and sharp looking.

Seemingly just in time, Brimstone hears the sound of rushing water, and somehow instinctively jumps backwards into a console set back in the corridor. He spots the brown frothy liquid gushing through the corridor, and hears the crackles as it finds more and more points to electrify from. He notices a smell much like hot chocolate

"Invading Aliens? Purple Dinosaurs? Teletubbies? Multicoloured blobs and a river of hot chocolate? Geez, i must lay off the goddamn backy and cheese at night. These nightmares are starting to come in my waking hours." exclaims Brimstone while wedging himself securely, totally oblivious to the fact that the console he is now sitting in has just ordered 50,000 Tonnes of Paperclips and 20,000 Tonnes of oversize Staples, charged to some guy called Joe Bloggs, to be delivered directly to the medical bay of the SSI.

"I wonder how well the cleaning bots can swim? Ah well, i've said it before, and i'll say it again." states Brimstone calmly. "I AINT CLEANING UP THIS MESS!"

[flapjack]

*Flapjack pops open a small access hatch, not far from where Gryffin is standing, letting yet more Chocolate milk out, as well as dropping out himself into the highly electrified liquid*

*Almost as he hits the ground Flapjack is up again, the scuba gear he'd donned protecting him from the lethal eletrical currents running through the area (note, most of the ship is made of metal, I'd suspect just about the entire ship is currently electrified, at least untill the fuses blow), just then a loud crackle went through the area and a small maintenance hatch explodes outwards, the fuses in the small fusebox completely burned out as the ship plunges into darkness*

"Who turned off the lights? And where is that big killer thing?"

[ASME]

*ASME looked around at the darkness that surrounded him......*

"Right time to go change the fuses......"

*stomps off to change the fuses*

[Io Cor]

::finally wakes up after a few months of slumber to find himself tied rather tightly with twelve chains and six miles of rope to the front of the ship, he doesn't remember -how- he got there, only -that- he is there, he only questioned this for a rather long time, only to see a wave of bubbling brown liquid chase some poor soul down the corridor inside::

[Gryffin]

[ooc] Never underestimate rubber soled boots. In any case, if the entire ship is at the same voltage, it doesn't matter if we are standing on it...just like birds perching on high voltage power cables. It's only if we touch something that isn't at the same voltage do we get shocked. [ooc]

*Gryffin legs it down a corridor towards the fighter bays, the molten blob slithering after him. Gryffin drops down into the bay with his fighter in it, and begins fidling with one of the hatches on the wing. The blob follows him in just as Gryffin pulls free a nozzle, points it at the blob, and hits a button. A sheet of liquid nitrogen shoots out of the nozzle, solidifying the blob in seconds. Gryffin the turns off the flow, reconnects the nozzle to the coolant system for his missile launchers, and the picks up a handy log cleaver. With a bellow, he brings it above his head, and smashes it down upon the blob, blowing it into hundreds of small pieces. He then leaves the bay, and tells the computer to vacuum flush the bay before the blob thaws and makes a mess of the place.*

[Io Cor]

::Knowing his fate in space, Io's idle time out there, tied to the ship, gave him time to think...why take over the star ship idiot when he could joiiiin them::
.
.
.
.

::He quickly reconsidered the foolish thought and began to gnaw at the rope and chains::

[Hmmm, this could take a while...]:Thought Io, feeling quite intelligent at the moment:

[Better start to wiggle out of these loosely bound bindings.] :He snickered while shaking the ropes and chains off...what did he expect? The ship was manned by men who's IQ matched that of the temperature in the south pole during winter on a cold night:

[Evil_Ginge]

*Sitting on the bridge evil ginge pressed a few uninteresting buttons on his control panel, a few seconds later an electical surge started making its way towards Io Cor

[Io Cor]

::Io's sudden sensation of electro-static charges across his body made him think he was being tickled...but by whoooooo?::

"Aaaaalright mister incognito! Out with ye! Stop this infernal tickling!"

::Bound by the thought that an invisible man was attacking him with tickles, Io grasped onto one of the flailing ropes and started to pull himself towards the ship::

[Evil_Ginge]

:: looking out into space evil ginge glances over at the scanner station to see an object approaching slowly, the scanner said threat level minimum ::

"threat level minimum! fire all lazers at oncoming target!"

[flapjack]

*Flapjack in the meanwhile is trying to sell all the nice crystals he found on the ship to a vending machine, which is telling him these are 'focusing crystals' and are required for the laser cannons to work*

[Evil_Ginge]

*Gets a report that the focusing crystals have been stolen and sends a command down to security to deal with it but the message ends up in engineering anyway*

"ok fire everything else, get the troops to lean out the windows and shoot at it if possible"

[flapjack]

*Gives up on the vending machine, deposits the focusing crystals in the ship's cargobay and wanders into engineering to play with all the nice gadgets.*

"So, what do we 'fix' today..."

[Io Cor]

::After a few minutes of "climbing" towards the ship, Io finally manaes to crawl into a ventalation shaft...that lead out into space....anyhow, knowing his plans were voided, he sneekily slid out of a vent shaft and into an empty corridor, a few "look-jumps" later, he calmly made his way amongst the crew to the Mess hall::

{Aside}
"Muhuhuhuhuahahahaaaa! Foolish peoples, little know they, how foolishly foolish these fools are! ... Fool fool fool fool!"

[flapjack]

*Flapjack at that point plugs the main engines back in after disconnecting the innertial dampeners, the main engines still being stuck at full throttle, and thus sends the ship hurtling off into deep space at the usual 'utterly insane speed'*

*Gravity however sucks and Flapjack is made into a temporary pancake across the back wall of the engineering section, unplugging the engines and bringing the ship to a dead-stop in a perfect denial of Newtonian physics*

[Malice]

*Walking back to his Habitation Module, Malice just happens to look up in time to see a rather faint streak of light arc across the sky at an 'utterly insane speed' before it disappears over the horizon.*

"I wish......"

*smiling to himself, he hopes his wish for one cold one left in the heat extractor comes true, and continues on home...unaware of just how old that streak of light really was.*

[Wo2]

[ooc] Holy crap? This is still alive? Wow... I guess I'll make yet another return then. One moment whilst I catch up. So this hold what now? Record for longest running PA RP thread ever? Heh, who would thought... [ooc/]

[Mad cat]

ooc- Five plus years running. -ooc

[ASME]

[OOC: Let there be renewal ]

*Finds himself thrown down the hallway he was walking in and then squished flat when he hits a wall.*

*ASME then proceeds to fall off the wall as the ship once again denies Newtonian Physics*

"Who the bl**dy f**k did that?" he asks no-one inparticular...

[Mad cat]

Mc, who had found himself in a room full of pretty lights and computer terminals, better known as the auxillary bridge, blithely pushes another button, oblivious to the fact that they were actually doing things. The total effect of this last, was to send him deep into his well padded and comfy chair as the ship accellerated much faster than was reccommended by the owners manual.

[Oysia]

ooc/ I cannot believe this is still here... /ooc