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8 Jul 2004, 00:41
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#1
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,313
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And as I was driving along....
BIG BLUE FLASHING LIGHTS
In the rear view mirror.
Police Volvo, estate, two police officers.
I pull into layby, handbrake on, engine off.
Step out of the car, walk to his window.
"Evening officer, can I help you?"
Police officer shrinks to approximately the size of Flayers 'mouses'.
"Sorry, it was just a routine check, I didn't realise you were military police."
Winner.
"Ah, don't worry about it, you gotta go with the flow!"
"Yeah, well, sorry again."
"No problem, have a safe night. Bye"
Walk to car, engine on, handbrake off, indicate.
Drive away.
Skiddy 1 - Policeman 0
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8 Jul 2004, 00:43
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#2
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: And as I was driving along....
This is why MM hangs out with you. He knows he cant get done for soliciting if theres an MP with him.
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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8 Jul 2004, 00:45
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#3
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: And as I was driving along....
This is ironic, considering what we were just discussing.
I wonder how far you could take this informal 'military immunity' thing.
Hmmmmm.
Make sure you wear your uniform next time we go somewhere together.
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8 Jul 2004, 00:45
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#4
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: And as I was driving along....
How did he know you was an MP?
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8 Jul 2004, 00:46
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#5
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: And as I was driving along....
How did he know you were MP?
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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8 Jul 2004, 00:46
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#6
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: And as I was driving along....
I have this funny feeling the armband gave it away. 
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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8 Jul 2004, 00:46
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#7
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: And as I was driving along....
pwned :(
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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8 Jul 2004, 00:46
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#8
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Is it because he saw your avatar?
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8 Jul 2004, 00:48
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#9
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,313
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Re: And as I was driving along....
The red beret and the same as avatar sewn on arm probably gave it away.
If those didn't, then the high visibility vest with Military Police printed on it probably pushed him in the right direction!
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8 Jul 2004, 00:50
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#10
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Why were you in your uniform in your car? Is it a feitsh of yours?
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8 Jul 2004, 00:50
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#11
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: And as I was driving along....
OK just so long as you weren't wearing a tee shirt saying:
"i'm a military police i am"
(You don't have one of those do you?)
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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8 Jul 2004, 00:51
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#12
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,313
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Re: And as I was driving along....
No, I don't have one of those, but feel free to get me one printed and bring it down with you.
And I was in my uniform as I was on my way home.
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8 Jul 2004, 00:52
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#13
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Quote:
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Originally Posted by KaneED
Why were you in your uniform in your car?
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Because a uniform means you get more cock.
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8 Jul 2004, 00:52
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#14
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: And as I was driving along....
My dad's in the police and he doesn't wear his uniform home.
You must have a fetish.
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8 Jul 2004, 00:55
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#15
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,313
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Re: And as I was driving along....
My dad's bigger than your dad.
Your signature is broken too.
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8 Jul 2004, 00:58
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#16
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: And as I was driving along....
No its not. Dace thought it was too but I said the same to him. I'm the one scamming you!
How big is your dad btw?
Mine is only 5'10 and about 13 stones mostly fat, which is what you'd expect because if it were muscle he'd be about 15 stones.
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8 Jul 2004, 01:00
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#17
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,313
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Re: And as I was driving along....
6'2" and about 16st - 60% fat, 40% muscle.
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8 Jul 2004, 01:03
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#18
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Well, it seems your dad could beat my dad up. But then my dad has a radio and lots of policemen who are over-zealously violet and have cs spray and large batons.
So I guess mine would win back!
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8 Jul 2004, 01:03
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#19
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Quote:
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Originally Posted by KaneED
No its not. Dace thought it was too but I said the same to him. I'm the one scamming you!
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I thought what?
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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8 Jul 2004, 01:20
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#20
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Miles Teg
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Dom City
Posts: 5,192
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Re: And as I was driving along....
didnt he ask for id?
__________________
Audentes Fortuna Iuvat
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8 Jul 2004, 12:18
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#21
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,313
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Knight Theamion
didnt he ask for id?
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Nope, just apologised and explained why he had stopped me.
It was the greatest moment of my life thus far.
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8 Jul 2004, 12:19
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#22
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Miles Teg
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Dom City
Posts: 5,192
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Re: And as I was driving along....
ohkay
__________________
Audentes Fortuna Iuvat
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8 Jul 2004, 12:24
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#23
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Käptn Karacho
Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,360
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Re: And as I was driving along....
i always thought jumping out of the car and walking towards the policemen would get you shot...
__________________
at0mic.c0w - #strategy
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8 Jul 2004, 12:28
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#24
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,313
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Possibly, but British Police are unarmed, and although some of the Volvo's have a Glock 17 and an MP5A3 in a compartment in the boot, they weren't making a run for the trunk.
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8 Jul 2004, 15:38
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#25
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: And as I was driving along....
What do Military Police do?
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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8 Jul 2004, 15:45
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#26
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IRC Lackey
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Somewhere in the dark and nasty regions...
Posts: 1,471
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Tomkat
What do Military Police do?
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Intimidate police officers!
Duh 
__________________
-Mushroom.
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."
George Bernard Shaw
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8 Jul 2004, 15:52
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#27
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Tomkat
What do Military Police do?
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Eat doughnuts mostly i *think*.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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8 Jul 2004, 15:59
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#28
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Angry Young Man
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street
Posts: 7,518
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Re: And as I was driving along....
How come i didnt know this? Did you tell me you were going for it? Or were you an MP when you rose from my floor at 5am and drove home to Newcastle drunk?
__________________
Believe in me, cause i don't believe in anything
And i wanna be someone, to believe, to believe in
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8 Jul 2004, 16:02
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#29
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Friendly geek of GD :-/
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: On my metal roid
Posts: 923
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Quote:
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Originally Posted by skiddy
It was the greatest moment of my life thus far.
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I got my first taste of authority, and I liked it [/simpsons] ?
But how could you be faster in getting off the car? I thought usually THEY come to your window and do stuff?
__________________
[ »] Entropy increases! :-/
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8 Jul 2004, 16:08
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#30
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Quote:
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Originally Posted by JetLinus
But how could you be faster in getting off the car? I thought usually THEY come to your window and do stuff?
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Usually they allow you to stew for a minute so that you get all nervous and are more complient when they finally do turn up (hello Pyschology 101).
That and they're deciding their game plan.
You know ... who gets to be the bad cop this time.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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8 Jul 2004, 16:44
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#31
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Quote:
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Originally Posted by KaneED
No its not. Dace thought it was too but I said the same to him. I'm the one scamming you!
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As I said before, your plan of making yourself look like a complete idiot is working perfectly.
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8 Jul 2004, 16:49
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#32
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Aardvark is a funny word
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: I'm No Nino Rota
Posts: 5,923
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Deffeh
How come i didnt know this? Did you tell me you were going for it? Or were you an MP when you rose from my floor at 5am and drove home to Newcastle drunk?
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laughter ensues
__________________
Efficiency, efficiency they say
Get to know the date and tell the time of day
As the crowds begin complaining
How the Beaujolais is raining
Down on darkened meetings on the Champs Élysées
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8 Jul 2004, 16:56
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#33
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Angry Young Man
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street
Posts: 7,518
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Re: And as I was driving along....
i cant think how i didnt know or had no idea.
What a good night that was btw. We watched someone staple their head 20 times, pluck themn out with tweezers then pour vinegar on the wound.
__________________
Believe in me, cause i don't believe in anything
And i wanna be someone, to believe, to believe in
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8 Jul 2004, 17:03
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#34
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 1,967
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Re: And as I was driving along....
So wait, in the UK you get out of the car to greet the police officer?
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8 Jul 2004, 17:09
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#35
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Wankoverable
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: wherever I am
Posts: 726
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Quote:
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Originally Posted by skiddy
Police officer shrinks to approximately the size of Flayers 'mouses'.
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the old or the small baby ones? 
and don't make fun of my one-time spelling mistake dammit
__________________
Don't worry, life is too long.
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8 Jul 2004, 17:11
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#36
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,313
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Yeah, he was slightly ****ed up in the head, although it was exceptionally amusing. What was better is the amount of alcohol consumed in such a short space of time. How I made it down the A68 the next morning alive is amazing.
As for how I went to his window, I simply stepped out the car and walked towards his. I think the slight confusion over what I was wearing held him up for a moment as he took it in, but I think I know why it went smoothly in my favour.
I took the initiative early on and became the dominant one, which is the important part. Had I allowed him to come to my window he would have been in control of the situation, he would have been the dominant one. By confidently walking up to his, greeting him plesantly and asking what the deal was, I took the initiative and took control of the interaction.
Thats my view of it anyway.
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8 Jul 2004, 17:15
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#37
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Klaatu barada nikto
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: St. Paul, Minnesota
Posts: 3,237
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Dace
Usually they allow you to stew for a minute so that you get all nervous and are more complient when they finally do turn up (hello Pyschology 101).
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Here, they use that time to run your plates for wants and warrants.
Quote:
That and they're deciding their game plan.
You know ... who gets to be the bad cop this time.
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Patrol cars only have one officer here; so they have to play both parts, I guess.
__________________
The Ottawa Citizen and Southam News wish to apologize for our apology to Mark Steyn, published Oct. 22. In correcting the incorrect statements about Mr. Steyn published Oct. 15, we incorrectly published the incorrect correction. We accept and regret that our original regrets were unacceptable and we apologize to Mr. Steyn for any distress caused by our previous apology.
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8 Jul 2004, 17:26
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#38
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NEWSBOT
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: The enby cave!
Posts: 4,872
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Re: And as I was driving along....
they darent go round on their own here
they also darent arm them.
heh.
__________________
[20:27:47] <nodrog-aawy> **** i think my housemate just caught me masturbating 
[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you 
[13:17:00] <KaneED> i'm so closet i'm like narnia
__________________
Pretty parks and funky scrap metal things here
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8 Jul 2004, 17:51
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#39
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Shenanigans
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Lucky Denver Mint
Posts: 269
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Re: And as I was driving along....
If you get out of your car when you get pulled over in Bushland, you get shot in the head before you can even respond to "put your hands on your head" or "put your hands in the air"...
__________________
 ragey.
"Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills..." - Napoleon Dynamite
i <3 JC
Quote:
Originally posted by JC
lolly roffle
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8 Jul 2004, 18:06
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#40
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Blatantly overcooked
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,575
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Quote:
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Originally Posted by KaneED
Well, it seems your dad could beat my dad up. But then my dad has a radio and lots of policemen who are over-zealously violet and have cs spray and large batons.
So I guess mine would win back!
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So this is actually a "my dad is better than yours" thread?
Hoochie mama
it was a long time since the last occasion ive had the horrid distaste of being exposed to such a crappy discussion
__________________
Bizarrely overrated
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8 Jul 2004, 18:12
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#41
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: And as I was driving along....
i suggest that everyone in this thread watches and laughes at super troopers, about american highway patrol EDIT: its a comedy btw
and well done skiddy
__________________
lazy
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8 Jul 2004, 18:19
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#42
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Shenanigans
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Lucky Denver Mint
Posts: 269
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Re: And as I was driving along....
OooOOooh Super Troopers is awesome! I love that movie.
"No, Farva, you are under arrest for being a complete and total ****head."
__________________
ragey.
"Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills..." - Napoleon Dynamite
i <3 JC
Quote:
Originally posted by JC
lolly roffle
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8 Jul 2004, 18:23
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#43
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: And as I was driving along....
im just impressed that some other people around here have seen it
__________________
lazy
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8 Jul 2004, 18:27
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#44
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Shenanigans
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Lucky Denver Mint
Posts: 269
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Own it.
Although - Club Dredd was shit. I was really disappointed. I thought that it would rock just like Super Troopers but it was awful...
The opening scene of Super Troopers is awesome with the 3 stoners. **** yeah, I want cops like that here in Denver.
__________________
ragey.
"Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills..." - Napoleon Dynamite
i <3 JC
Quote:
Originally posted by JC
lolly roffle
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8 Jul 2004, 18:36
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#45
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,635
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Wait.
Skiddy is in the police force? What do you do there?
Arent you a BNP supporting Nazi? Or am i getting you confused with someone else?
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8 Jul 2004, 18:49
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#46
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Dr. Octagonecologyst
Wait.
Skiddy is in the police force? What do you do there?
Arent you a BNP supporting Nazi? Or am i getting you confused with someone else?
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The military police.
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8 Jul 2004, 18:50
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#47
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: And as I was driving along....
and i dont think that he supports the BNP either
__________________
lazy
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8 Jul 2004, 18:56
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#48
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: And as I was driving along....
I don't think the BNP look favourably upon their members being wanked-off in public by other men, either.
Although I could be wrong.
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8 Jul 2004, 19:00
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#49
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Chief over all Monkeys
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,771
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Re: And as I was driving along....
super troopers is 
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8 Jul 2004, 19:01
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#50
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Chief over all Monkeys
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,771
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Re: And as I was driving along....
Quote:
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Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
The military police.
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if the normal police are zealously nuts i shudder to think what the military police would be like...
although i dont know anything about skiddy or his character - so this is not a personal insult. im sure you are lovely
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