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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 03:04   #1
Androme
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Dear Santa
Dear Santa,

I would like to know if you have considered losing weight because you're not setting a good example for all your believers. You're only implying that high cholestral means you're able to fly and control reindeer. Whatever smoking companies are prostituting/persuading you to keep your shape, I am hereby offering you a free membership to Weight Watchers.

Yours Sincerely,

GD.
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 04:22   #2
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Re: Dear Santa
Dear Santa,

Please send all fatty facists a bomb for xmas.

Your's Sincerely

The sensible part of GD.
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 05:10   #3
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Phil^ spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldPhil^ spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldPhil^ spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldPhil^ spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldPhil^ spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldPhil^ spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldPhil^ spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldPhil^ spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldPhil^ spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldPhil^ spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldPhil^ spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus would
Re: Dear Santa
Dear Santa,

Please bestow upon the two previous posters a decent sense of humour.
Thank you
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 05:58   #4
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Re: Dear Santa
Dear Santa,

Please bring me Sunday's apartment keys, it's -5deg C up there...

Yours Sincerely

The caring part of GD.
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 06:12   #5
Sunday8pm
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Re: Dear Santa
Dear Santa

Please bestow upon the forums cognitive brain function.

The above two posters seem to lack it.

L8r's Sunday8pm
Last edited by Sunday8pm; 23 Dec 2004 at 08:05.
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 06:19   #6
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Re: Dear Santa
im guessing you meant cognitive


Edit : I must be really really really bored to be replying further to this thread.
*sigh*
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 08:05   #7
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Re: Dear Santa
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil^
im guessing you meant cognitive


Edit : I must be really really really bored to be replying further to this thread.
*sigh*
You guess right you pedant.
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 08:08   #8
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Re: Dear Santa
Wouldn't it be cool if the forums had a separate group mind towards which we all contributed?


I wonder what sexuality it would be.
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 16:01   #9
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Re: Dear Santa
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Wouldn't it be cool if the forums had a separate group mind towards which we all contributed?


I wonder what sexuality it would be.
faggot.
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 16:01   #10
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Re: Dear Santa
Dear Santa

Is flavius portuguese or belgian (or muslim?)

L8r's Sunday8pm
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 16:19   #11
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Re: Dear Santa
Dear Santa,

Is Mrs Claus fit? Do you ever fear that the elves might be getting their lascivious ways with her?

Boogster
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 16:28   #12
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Re: Dear Santa
Dear Jesus
I don't believe in you no more
Dear Jesus
I think you should know the score
I never met you
Cos you lived a long long time ago
Not to upset you
But there's not a lot to know

Born in a stable
Is the story we were told
He had a beard
And you wore a lot of shitty clothes

He walked on water then you held a kickin' party on the beach
And the people gathered round to watch you talk and hail and preach
But the bunch of pretty fishers turnin' water into wine
Sure I'd be a true believer if I'd been there at the time

Dear Jesus
I aint buyin' all this shit
Dear Jesus
I dont want no part of it
Don't know what you had in mind, but I'm sure it wasn't this
I met a couple of cool Christians, but the Rev's just take the piss
They it’s awful to be gay, cos that aint no family
And they made you give them money when you see them on TV

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Jesus!
Looks like we’re gona hafta throw things down the old school way!
What my mum said, Bring it on!

Dear Jesus, el Presidente
Declared war on them today
He read the Bible, evidently
And your Dad said it's ok

Like this guy lives on my block
He's such an asshole to my mom
And he flips off all the Muslims
Like their doin' somethin' wrong
I know plenty other dicks like that
But this just makes it worse
He thinks he is so much better
Just because he goes to church

Dear Jesus
Dear Jesus

If you come back just like you said you would
I know that we could chill
But these days we need some evidence
To show that your for real

Dear Jesus
Dear Jesus
Dear Jesus

I hope you got my message when your back if you can
If you even leave tonight, it's means I'm your number one fan


Anyone know the song?
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 16:32   #13
Stew
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Re: Dear Santa
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
Anyone know the song?
Google was my friend
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 16:35   #14
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Re: Dear Santa
probly took you less time to find them than me
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 16:50   #15
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Re: Dear Santa
Where does Dear Jesus come into this? Monkeys.
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 16:55   #16
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Re: Dear Santa
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEWSBOT3
faggot.
Probably only on the weekends though.


Also if someone could make a picture of Jesus and Santa Claus holding hands with the "It's cool to be gay" headline I'd nominate them for internet person of the year.
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:23   #17
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Re: Dear Santa
PERSON? Your handling of the english language is shockingly gay.
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:28   #18
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Re: Dear Santa
Quote:
Originally Posted by Androme2
PERSON? Your handling of the english language is shockingly gay.

how the screaming blus **** do you come up with that? it's perfect perfect grammar ffs


and whats the obsession lately with S.P.A.G. FS?
get a grip people, the english around here is of a significally higher quality than a lot of places on the internet!
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:28   #19
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Re: Dear Santa
Actually it'd be gay if I said man of the year because if you deconstruct my sentence correctly the implication that only one gender is present in my background thoughts on sociological issues can be easily shown to correspond to a certain resentment, if not even positive dislike, for those of the female sex and their presence in my life which could quite logically lead to the deducation that I'm a homosexual.

But I'm not...




...you faggot.





PS I'm pretty sure he wasn't referring to my grammar rr, as we all well know my grammar should never be challenged as then leshy will come along and bore you to tears by battering the didactic method of instruction off your head.
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:34   #20
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Re: Dear Santa
I meant gay in the sense that you're a lesbian stuck inside a man's body.

Sigh, keep your knickers on.
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:34   #21
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Re: Dear Santa
true, but im incredibly tired, as i had a couple of pints with lunch, which is always a bad idea, as it makes me sleepy and grouchy in teh afternoon
i have my staff night out tonight as well, plenty of vodka and red bull for meh :/
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:37   #22
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Re: Dear Santa
There there roadrunner - M33P M33P
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:38   #23
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Re: Dear Santa
Quote:
Originally Posted by Androme2
I meant gay in the sense that you're a lesbian stuck inside a man's body.

Sigh, keep your knickers on.
This is like that time I stuck a pencil up my nose until it pierced my brain and I fell unconscious.


God I wish I was there right now.
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:38   #24
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Re: Dear Santa
see, it was the grammar he was on about!
the person in the sentence does not apply to santa and esus, but rather the person who makes the picture!

EDIT: my post makes no sense now, but it did before certain other posts were edited: so there
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:39   #25
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Re: Dear Santa
Joenee -
Quote:
I'd nominate them for internet person of the year.
I thought you were claiming Jesus & Santa would be "person" of the year (merging them to the singular isn't possible - they're 2 completely different beings) but then, a drink of Redbul & ProPlus later, I realised you would vote whoever made it as internet person of the year so I am hereby refraining from refering to yourself as a lesbian stuck inside a man's body for future references. Case closed.
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:40   #26
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Re: Dear Santa
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
This is like that time I stuck a pencil up my nose until it pierced my brain and I fell unconscious.


God I wish I was there right now.
A few IQ points more and you would be a pencil.
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:43   #27
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Re: Dear Santa
Who needs IQ points when you have the internet?
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:46   #28
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Re: Dear Santa
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
For a response to this essay, see Morgan
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:47   #29
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Re: Dear Santa
i think my brain just melted you bastards
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:48   #30
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Re: Dear Santa
That's fantastic. I just googled and posted the first realistic link and there was a response. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside :)))
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:49   #31
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Re: Dear Santa
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
i think my brain just melted you bastards
Yeah, it's called the Bastard Magnet and everyone in the UK has it
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:50   #32
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Re: Dear Santa
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
That's fantastic. I just googled and posted the first realistic link and there was a response. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside :)))
Is your centre gooey and chocolate like a Lindor? :) :) :) ?

Dont mind me then if I kindly rip your centre out :up:
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:51   #33
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Re: Dear Santa
Fatty.
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 17:52   #34
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Re: Dear Santa
what is this bastard magnet and why would you want to attract bastards anyway?
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Unread 23 Dec 2004, 18:44   #35
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Re: Dear Santa
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
what is this bastard magnet and why would you want to attract bastards anyway?
No no no, the bastard magnet attracts the opposite sex. Jonno's now a self-confessed lesbian so
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