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Unread 2 Feb 2005, 06:32   #1
Qdeathstar
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What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
I thought it was funny.. feel free to discuss.


WEB-EXCLUSIVE COMMENTARY
By Andy Borowitz
Newsweek
Updated: 12:45 p.m. ET Feb. 1, 2005

Feb. 1 - Under intense pressure from the Bush administration to sell its controversial Al-Jazeera network, the nation of Qatar stunned the television industry today by agreeing to sell the broadcast company to Rupert Murdoch's Fox News Channel.

Television insiders were taken aback that the network whose motto is "We Report. You Decide," would acquire a broadcast entity whose slogan is "Death to the Infidels."

But according to Murdoch, chairman and CEO of Fox parent News Corp., the merger was a natural because, in his words, "We took a look at their format and realized that it was almost identical to ours."

To pay for Bush’s extravagant inauguration, the White House is selling advertising space on the vice president Murdoch added, "If we really roll up our sleeves and make this merger work, we may wind up with the fairest and most balanced network mankind has ever known.”

The media mogul said that changes to Al-Jazeera's programming would be "minimal" at first: "We'll be going through their news copy and every time they call President Bush 'Satan,' we'll take out the words 'President Bush' and replace them with the words 'Ted Kennedy.'"

But viewers can expect much bigger changes to come, as the channel plans to drop Al-Jazeera's most popular program, "This Week in Jihad," in favor of a new show, "Hannity and Hussein."

In the words of a Fox-Jazeera press release, "Hannity and Hussein" will be "a lively political discussion featuring Fox personality Sean Hannity, from the right, and deposed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, from his prison cell."

Elsewhere, after Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) fainted during a speaking appearance in Buffalo, Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) wished her a slow and protracted recovery.
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Unread 2 Feb 2005, 09:46   #2
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Nice but sooo fake but yet not fake
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Unread 2 Feb 2005, 10:17   #3
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by xtrasyn
Nice but sooo fake but yet not fake
Did you read your PM? I'm hoping you have something extaordinarilly interesting for me because I'm rather tired of this no-structure way of work.
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Unread 2 Feb 2005, 10:35   #4
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by Structural Integrity
Did you read your PM? I'm hoping you have something extaordinarilly interesting for me because I'm rather tired of this no-structure way of work.
I did but I have not finished answering it yet - you will receive an additional extra bonus one later - for free!
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Unread 2 Feb 2005, 11:11   #5
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
My lips may have momentarily quivered into something resembling a smirk, well done QD, C+
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Unread 2 Feb 2005, 11:49   #6
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6894936/site/newsweek

why copy and paste a whole article, when you can just paste a link
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Unread 2 Feb 2005, 12:37   #7
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Why the "3" in "own3d"??
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Unread 2 Feb 2005, 12:49   #8
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
Why the "3" in "own3d"??
B'cause it's l33t.
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Unread 2 Feb 2005, 13:45   #9
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
the thing is that im still not sure if you actually think al-jazeera is a western hating news channel or not...

i didnt smile either
d-

:-((((
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Unread 2 Feb 2005, 22:32   #10
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Fake.

Aljazeera doesn't have a programme called "This week in Jihad".

Fact.
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Unread 2 Feb 2005, 22:42   #11
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Exclamation Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
I think it was 'a spoof.'
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Unread 2 Feb 2005, 23:09   #12
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
I was just trying to point out how fake it is since I've got the bleeding channel on my Sky Digital.
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Unread 2 Feb 2005, 23:10   #13
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blastoderm
I was just trying to point out how fake it is since I've got the bleeding channel on my Sky Digital.
Do you not have to pay for it?
Does this mean you're in al-Qaeda?
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Unread 2 Feb 2005, 23:14   #14
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blastoderm
Fake.

Aljazeera doesn't have a programme called "This week in Jihad".

Fact.
DAMN! We wuz duped...
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Unread 2 Feb 2005, 23:21   #15
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by JammyJim
the thing is that im still not sure if you actually think al-jazeera is a western hating news channel or not...

i didnt smile either
d-

:-((((
Aparently he does.

Wich is a tad scary.
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Unread 2 Feb 2005, 23:22   #16
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
Do you not have to pay for it?
Does this mean you're in al-Qaeda?
No.
No.
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Unread 3 Feb 2005, 05:54   #17
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
No, i think that Al-Jezera caters to its audience a bit too well. And lets face it, there arnt a whole lot of people in the middle east that are giving praise to the United states, so it kind goes a long with the whole things.
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Unread 3 Feb 2005, 09:25   #18
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
What good will having democratic elections be then?

"Hay guys, turns out we were right all along they really do ****ing hate us and now they want us out of their country what should we do?"
"Well we could call the new guy in charge a dictator, support him in his genocidal rampages, provide him with the weapons to kill his own people and then invade claiming we're here to save the people"
"...........hmmmm"
"What?"
"Nothing, I've just got the strangest feeling of deja-vu."
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Unread 3 Feb 2005, 12:38   #19
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qdeathstar
No, i think that Al-Jezera caters to its audience a bit too well. And lets face it, there arnt a whole lot of people in the middle east that are giving praise to the United states, so it kind goes a long with the whole things.
Please, tell me you are gravely underaged or have a mental handicap.
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Unread 3 Feb 2005, 14:28   #20
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
tell me why thats not an accurate picture.
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Unread 3 Feb 2005, 14:47   #21
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
because al jazeera is primarily made up of EX BBC/ Ex CNN reporters and journalists who became dissolusioned with the way in which the press in the west is biased towards the west. Al jazeera has become popular because it tends to report things a bit more factually and with less spin.

Obviously it will have a slightly pro arab slant but its quite good. Far far far far x 1000000 than fox is or ever will be.

Anyone who thinks fox news is 'fair and balanced' wouldnt understand the meaning of the two words....
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Unread 3 Feb 2005, 15:24   #22
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
wow one right leaning news organization that cares more about trashing its competitors than 'facts' takes over another right-leaning news organization that cares more about trashing its competitors than 'facts'

the only noticeable difference would be they would probably stop trashing each other.
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Unread 3 Feb 2005, 16:30   #23
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Exclamation Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by JammyJim
Anyone who thinks fox news is 'fair and balanced' wouldnt understand the meaning of the two words....
No, they understand the meanings of the words well enough. They're just liars.
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Unread 3 Feb 2005, 17:21   #24
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
that wasnt funny at all, you have shit opinions.
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Unread 3 Feb 2005, 17:41   #25
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
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Originally Posted by the_dastardley_chihuahua
that wasnt funny at all, you have shit opinions.
Yes but have you smelled them yet
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