School Yard songs (R rated ;-) )

[cnaw]

So i was thinking back about all the songs we used to sing during grades 1-6 and how un pc there were. Heck, the probobly still sing them today, but with a few of them, i bet you could get prison time.

example one:

Glory, glory, hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler,
So I hid behind the door,
With a Magnum .44,
And the teacher lives no more.

example two:

On top of old smokey
all covered in blood
I shot my poor teacher
with a .44 slug

I shot her with pleasure
I shot her with pride
I couldn't of missed her
she was 40 feet wide.

I went to the hospital,
she wasn't quite dead.
I took a bazooka
and blew off her head.
I went to the funeral
I went to her grave,
some people threw flowers,
I threw a grenade.

example three:

marijuana, marijuana, lsd, lsd,
Betty Crocker Makes it, Ronald Regan takes it,
why don't we, why don't we


Now i know some of these songs go back about 100 years in diffrent forms, but still, the first two are damn evul. In todays world i could see the local police dept. booking some six year old for threats against the school or somthing for singing one of those. Anyone other songs that people remember? I'd love to hear them (yes yes, i know someone will post sussy and her steam boat ;-) )

[Aryn]

the worst song i remember was:

miss susie had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell, miss susie went to heaven, the steamboat went to hello operator, please give me number nine, and if you disconnect me, i'll kick you in behind the yellow curtain, there was a piece of glass, miss susie sat upon it, and broke her little ask me no more questions, tell me no more lies, the boys are in the bathroom, zipping up their flies are in the meadow, the bees are in the park, the boys and girls are kissing in the d-a-r-k dark dark dark!


i was so innocent back then :\

ps. oh yah and the 'jingle bells, batman smells' etc etc :\

[HobbieRogue4]

I recall such songs, some even involving hand motions. A particularly bad one would be:

Open the fridge.
Get a Coke.
Close the fridge.
Open the Coke.

And then...

"Me Chinese,
me play joke,
me go wee-wee in your Coke!"
(followed by gales of laughter, finger-pointing, etc.)

I don't remember much else, but in sixth grade, it doesn't matter how terrible your 'lead in' was for any half-assed joke, but if you included either a) "Michael Jackson" or b) "gay" or c) "Michael Jackson is gay" in your punchline, you were guaranteed a laugh.

Oh, and anything involving female genetalia. Namely, placing your hands together, with your middle finger and forefinger split apart, while another kid did the same thing, placing both together in opposite fashion, while one of you 'opened' your hands, thus producing... you get where I'm going with this.

[Mirai]

I went to a christian school so I was never taught such songs.

[Woof]

No school trip was complete without a few of these being belted out on the coach, by the 'ard lads on the back seat.
Ahhh, such memories


Song #1
Four and twenty virgins can down from Inverness.
When the ball over there were four and twenty less.
Singing balls to your partner, arse against the wall.
If you aint been shagged on a Saturday night, you aint been shagged at all.

More verses.....

Song #2
His name was Nobby All, Nobby All, Nobby All.
His name was Nobby All, Nobby All, Nobby All.
His name was Nobby All and he only had one.....Finger.

More verses.....

[treelo]

and here i was thinking this was somehow going to be linked to queens of the stone age

but then again i think everything is related to queens of the stone/kyuss.

BRING BACK JOHN GARCIA FFS!!!

[Deffeh]

woah

i never appreciated how good my primary school was. it was public, but we were all good little children - i cant remember anyone swearing before primary 6. we certainly didnt talk about sex, or anything like that. In any manner, jovial or otherwise.

[Ste]

found a peanut
found a peanut
found a peanut yesterday
found a peanut
found a peanut
found a peanut yesterday

It was mouldy
It was mouldy
It was mouldy yesterday
It was mouldy
It was mouldy
It was mouldy yesterday

So I ate it
So I ate it
So I ate it yesterday
So I ate it
So I ate it
So I ate it yesterday

Indigestion
Indigestion
Indigestion yesterday
Indigestion
Indigestion
Indigestion yesterday

Etc.........

Or

I jumped 50 thousand feet without a parachute
I jumped 50 thousand feet without a parachute
I jumped 50 thousand feet without a parachute
And I aint gonna jump no more

Landed on the pavement like a splodgy lump of jam
Landed on the pavement like a splodgy lump of jam
Landed on the pavement like a splodgy lump of jam
And I aint gonna jump no more

yadda yadda yadda...

what imaginations we had ay!

[MrBrick]

A sol
A sol
A soldier I would be.

Two Pist
Two Pist
Two Pistols at my knee

F'cu
F'cu
F'curiosity.

We'll fight for the old count
Fight for the old count
fight for the old country.

SEE IT SOUNDS LIKE SWEARING AND IS NAUGHTY!!

[Radical Edward]

too right woof. I remember me and some mates singing those in a town in the lakes somewhere, and people started giving us money.. heh. They can't have been listening properly.


charlie had a pigeon, a pigeon, a pigeon
charlie had a pigeon, a pigeon he had,
he flew it by day and he flew it by night,
and when it came home it was covered in..

charlie had a pigeon, a pigeon, a pigeon
charlie had a pigeon, a pigeon he had,
he flew it by day and he flew it by night,
and when it came home it was covered in....ad infinitum.

[Mushroom]

Originally posted by MrBrick
A sol
A sol
A soldier I would be.

Two Pist
Two Pist
Two Pistols at my knee

F'cu
F'cu
F'curiosity.

We'll fight for the old count
Fight for the old count
fight for the old country.

SEE IT SOUNDS LIKE SWEARING AND IS NAUGHTY!!

My dad tought me that one when i was leik, 8.
So it's no wonder i'm so screwed up...

[Pyr0 MK III]

There's something in his nappy,
its making him unhappy,
its big and brown,
he cant sit down,
he'd really like to squash it,
but then he'd have to wash it,
its no joke,
the toilets broke

[cnaw]

Originally posted by Aryn
the worst song i remember was:

miss susie had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell, miss susie went to heaven, the

see, i knew someone was going to post it ;-) the version i knew (only a few slight changes) was



Miss Suzy had a steamboat
the steamboat had a bell
Miss Suzy went to heaven
the steamboat went to ...

Hello operator
Now give me number nine
And if you disconnect me
I'll cut-off your....

Behind the frigerator,
There was a piece of glass
Miss Lucy sat upon it
And cut her big fat ...

Ask me no more questions
I'll tell you no more lies,
The boys are in their lockers
Pulling down their...

Flies are in the meadow,
the bees are in the park
Miss Lucy and her boyfriend
are kissing in the D-A-R-K D-A-R-K D-A-R-K!



edit:

OMG the camp where i learned it has a website Good ole camp whitman (yay for christian camps) ;-)

[roadrunner_0]

Originally posted by Radical Edward
too right woof. I remember me and some mates singing those in a town in the lakes somewhere, and people started giving us money.. heh. They can't have been listening properly.


charlie had a pigeon, a pigeon, a pigeon
charlie had a pigeon, a pigeon he had,
he flew it by day and he flew it by night,
and when it came home it was covered in..

charlie had a pigeon, a pigeon, a pigeon
charlie had a pigeon, a pigeon he had,
he flew it by day and he flew it by night,
and when it came home it was covered in....ad infinitum.

god, i bloody remember the ppl on the back of the bus being told to stop singing that cos it was irritating the teacher

[Radical Edward]

Originally posted by roadrunner_0
god, i bloody remember the ppl on the back of the bus being told to stop singing that cos it was irritating the teacher

bus trips are the best places to annoy teachers.

[Tzencath]

anyone from england remember this song? (cause all i can remember is two lines, and they don't even follow each other)

mary, mary, giving my love to you
can't afford a condom, so a plastic bag will do

and so on and so forth