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Unread 12 Jan 2004, 22:59   #1
JBOY
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So i need to pee....
the bathroom is occupied. It's windy, freezing and raining outside with not a bush or tree anywhere near me flat.

I refuse to attempt to pee in a bottle due to the risk of splatter, and refuse to pee in the kitchen sink.

this has now become a batttle of endurance.

reccomended tactics for delaying the inevitable call of nature?
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Unread 12 Jan 2004, 23:00   #2
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Re: So i need to pee....
Eat lots of salt.
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Unread 12 Jan 2004, 23:00   #3
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Re: So i need to pee....
I wanted to be cruel but couldn't
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Unread 12 Jan 2004, 23:02   #4
Evergreen
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Re: So i need to pee....
On another note, Most cases of men in the old age suffering from urinal problems of the peeing kind have been a result of distending the bladder during youth and middle-age due to unnatural repression of urination.

Good doctor friend told me that, also told me lots of great stuff about prostate's when you get older.
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Unread 12 Jan 2004, 23:03   #5
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Re: So i need to pee....
real men would know what to do.
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Unread 12 Jan 2004, 23:05   #6
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by KoeN
real men would know what to do.

from your reply, you obviously don't.
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Unread 12 Jan 2004, 23:06   #7
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Re: So i need to pee....
just piss in the sink like everyone else.
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Unread 12 Jan 2004, 23:08   #8
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Re: So i need to pee....
How can you possibly splatter from inside a bottle?
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Unread 12 Jan 2004, 23:09   #9
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Re: So i need to pee....
hey JBOY hows it going?
try to think of water.
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Unread 12 Jan 2004, 23:10   #10
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Re: So i need to pee....
Koen's weak trolls aside.

You could try shoving a finger up your rectum and apply pressure to your prostate so your bladder line get's cut off.
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Unread 12 Jan 2004, 23:11   #11
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Re: So i need to pee....
get channel four to film it, provide constant medical attention and psycho analysis and market it as a reality tv program named "bladdered"
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Unread 12 Jan 2004, 23:13   #12
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Re: So i need to pee....
Those media studies classes certainly seem to be paying off.
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Unread 12 Jan 2004, 23:14   #13
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Re: So i need to pee....
hi nodrog. welcome back
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Unread 12 Jan 2004, 23:15   #14
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Re: So i need to pee....
just focus on the rain outside

drip, drip, drop

Imagine it trickling, streaming, then gushing.

Close your eyes and picture a fountain, a waterfall, a leaking pipe, a gushing hose.

drip, drip, drop

dribble, drop, dribble, drop

Uncontrollable urge, no willpower, can't fight it, massive buildup of pressure, must let go, have to give in

USE THE SINK (or a cup/glass belonging to someone else which you then transfer to the sink)

Sigh.
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Unread 12 Jan 2004, 23:41   #15
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Re: So i need to pee....
look at porn
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 00:39   #16
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Re: So i need to pee....
Jog on the spot?
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 00:50   #17
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Re: So i need to pee....
How can you splash when using a bottle???? just take an empty coke bottle, stick your dick in the opening (it'll be flacid ffs) and gently pee. Ive done it lots of times when my flatmates have been in the shower and ive wanted to go (mornings usually).
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 00:53   #18
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Re: So i need to pee....
How long do your flatmates spend in the shower?!?! You're seriously telling me that you can go from 'not feeling like you need to go' to 'uncontrollable need to pee' in 30 mins?
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 00:57   #19
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nusselt
How can you splash when using a bottle???? just take an empty coke bottle, stick your dick in the opening (it'll be flacid ffs) and gently pee. Ive done it lots of times when my flatmates have been in the shower and ive wanted to go (mornings usually).
Im hoping you arent serious. You cant stick your **** in a coke bottle
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 00:58   #20
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Re: So i need to pee....
Out the window. They did it all the time in the middle ages*






*not sure about this actually but said it anyways
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 00:58   #21
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deffeh
Im hoping you arent serious. You cant stick your **** in a coke bottle
If it's Pepsi, why not?
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 00:58   #22
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deffeh
Im hoping you arent serious. You cant stick your **** in a coke bottle
If we're being disgusting, why not just use a cup if he's that desperate?
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 01:02   #23
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Re: So i need to pee....
A cup would overflow, yo.
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 01:03   #24
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rids
A cup would overflow, yo.
Then he can stop, drink up, and start again.
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 01:05   #25
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rids
A cup would overflow, yo.
I have a variety of pint glasses in my room, or a pitcher, if I was feeling ambitious.
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 01:08   #26
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
If we're being disgusting, why not just use a cup if he's that desperate?
Its not the disgusting factor, i just very much doubt itd fit, comfortably or uncomfortably, safely or unsafely
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 01:09   #27
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
...or a pitcher, if I was feeling ambitious.
im going to change my MSN nick to this and when people ask ill say 'Things to piss in' and i wont have any friends but itll be funny
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 01:18   #28
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deffeh
Its not the disgusting factor, i just very much doubt itd fit, comfortably or uncomfortably, safely or unsafely
You do not need to fit your whole penis in the bottle, just enough of the tip to ensure they'll be no spillage.

Have you seriously never pissed in a bottle before?
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 01:20   #29
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Re: So i need to pee....
I have, but when i have ive either
a/ knifed the top of the bottle and cut it off
b/ positioned the tip of my **** right on the lid of the bottle and got most of it in, but some on my hand, destroying the point of the whole thing. I dont think you can really get enough of your head in to guarentee no spillages.

In fact, even though i can practically see my toilet, im going to try again
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 01:22   #30
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Re: So i need to pee....
Let me know how it turns out.
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 01:29   #31
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Re: So i need to pee....
well, i still maintain that you cannot get your ****head into a bottle. its not possible, its not even close. there was minimal spillage
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 01:31   #32
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Re: So i need to pee....
Now that we've managed to get deffeh to attempt to stuck his **** in a bottle does anyone else think we should get him to set himself on fire?
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 01:32   #33
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Re: So i need to pee....
What about those 500ml "slam" bottles they do 7-Up and Pepsi, etc in? Or a Ribena / Lucozade type bottle of similar size?
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 01:33   #34
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Re: So i need to pee....
I wont do that, my friends do it enough for me. Someone trying to light my joint in my mouth on friday caught fire to my fringe.

I laughed. They laughed. I burned. But we still couldnt get my **** in that ****ing bottle
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 01:36   #35
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
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b/ positioned the tip of my **** right on the lid of the bottle
I read that as poisoned!
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 01:40   #36
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deffeh
I wont do that, my friends do it enough for me. Someone trying to light my joint in my mouth on friday caught fire to my fringe.

I laughed. They laughed. I burned. But we still couldnt get my **** in that ****ing bottle
We?
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 01:43   #37
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Re: So i need to pee....
love me love me, i made a funny.
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 01:57   #38
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Re: So i need to pee....
I put it to you that you had an odd shape penis.
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 02:33   #39
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Re: So i need to pee....
the number of replies worries me.

really.
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 03:06   #40
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Re: So i need to pee....
hey this thread touched a nerve huh?

well, in answer to jenny's question every morning my first pee comes out with the force a cart horse would be proud of, its a good strong manly pee. There is no way i can hold it in for half and hour, besides this is hardly a daily occurrence it happens very occasionally.

Deffeh you dont fcking stick your entire dick in the opening just the tip like rids said, besides the bottles i have are large - like the big coke or evian bottles so ive never had a problem. And ffs IMHO peeing into a bottle and closing waiting for the bathroom to free up and emptying before throwing the bottle away is a lot less disgusting then taking a piss into a pint class, waiting in your room as the loverly aroma fills the air, then emptying it. Oh and i dont have to drink from the bottles again do i??? id fcking throw the glasses away!!! The only spillage issues come at the beginning when 'calibrating' the penis to shoot straight and true instead of 90 deg from the intended angle, its basically the same as when you take a piss in the toilet. I find a brief hyperforceful push encourages the pee to resume the right direction.

On occasion i have one of those 5 litre bottle of water, you can stick your dick in them.
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 03:08   #41
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Re: So i need to pee....
I wonder how women solve such issues.
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 03:12   #42
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Re: So i need to pee....
funnels
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[13:17:00] <KaneED> i'm so closet i'm like narnia
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 03:43   #43
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Re: So i need to pee....
bags
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 03:44   #44
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by ParraCida
I wonder how women solve such issues.
Squatting over a ditch.




A rather disgusting sight it must be noted. There's something rather more revolting about it than a guy taking a piss up against a wall. Must be an inbuilt cultural prejudice!
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 09:43   #45
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Re: So i need to pee....
So I take it JBOY peed in his face?
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 10:58   #46
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Re: So i need to pee....
you people have waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on your hands
seriously ;/
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Unread 13 Jan 2004, 11:19   #47
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Re: So i need to pee....
1,5 hours to go, then classes. then weekend.
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