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12 Jan 2004, 22:59
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#1
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Retired
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: BONNY SCOTLAND
Posts: 869
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So i need to pee....
the bathroom is occupied. It's windy, freezing and raining outside with not a bush or tree anywhere near me flat.
I refuse to attempt to pee in a bottle due to the risk of splatter, and refuse to pee in the kitchen sink.
this has now become a batttle of endurance.
reccomended tactics for delaying the inevitable call of nature?
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This space reserved for next Signature.
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12 Jan 2004, 23:00
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#2
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the merciless
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,271
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Re: So i need to pee....
Eat lots of salt.
__________________
<Sunday8pm> Jas you are a fattie armed slut
<Jassy> aryn, how can u let ppl spread shit in this chan? ur not doing ur job properly if u let ppl spread shit
<Jassy> in real life sunday would be in court
<Jassy> i can get him glined
<Jassy> #feds are here to stamp out abuse
<mist|zZz> we don't do channel politics, /ignore is your friend
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12 Jan 2004, 23:00
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#3
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BlueTuba
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 6,339
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Re: So i need to pee....
I wanted to be cruel but couldn't
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"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
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12 Jan 2004, 23:02
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#4
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the merciless
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,271
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Re: So i need to pee....
On another note, Most cases of men in the old age suffering from urinal problems of the peeing kind have been a result of distending the bladder during youth and middle-age due to unnatural repression of urination.
Good doctor friend told me that, also told me lots of great stuff about prostate's when you get older.
__________________
<Sunday8pm> Jas you are a fattie armed slut
<Jassy> aryn, how can u let ppl spread shit in this chan? ur not doing ur job properly if u let ppl spread shit
<Jassy> in real life sunday would be in court
<Jassy> i can get him glined
<Jassy> #feds are here to stamp out abuse
<mist|zZz> we don't do channel politics, /ignore is your friend
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12 Jan 2004, 23:03
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#5
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Lucky
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: -
Posts: 3,830
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Re: So i need to pee....
real men would know what to do.
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12 Jan 2004, 23:05
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#6
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Retired
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: BONNY SCOTLAND
Posts: 869
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by KoeN
real men would know what to do.
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from your reply, you obviously don't.
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This space reserved for next Signature.
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12 Jan 2004, 23:06
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#7
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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Re: So i need to pee....
just piss in the sink like everyone else.
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12 Jan 2004, 23:08
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#8
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Ball
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 4,410
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Re: So i need to pee....
How can you possibly splatter from inside a bottle?
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12 Jan 2004, 23:09
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#9
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Lucky
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: -
Posts: 3,830
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Re: So i need to pee....
hey JBOY hows it going?
try to think of water.
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12 Jan 2004, 23:10
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#10
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the merciless
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,271
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Re: So i need to pee....
Koen's weak trolls aside.
You could try shoving a finger up your rectum and apply pressure to your prostate so your bladder line get's cut off.
__________________
<Sunday8pm> Jas you are a fattie armed slut
<Jassy> aryn, how can u let ppl spread shit in this chan? ur not doing ur job properly if u let ppl spread shit
<Jassy> in real life sunday would be in court
<Jassy> i can get him glined
<Jassy> #feds are here to stamp out abuse
<mist|zZz> we don't do channel politics, /ignore is your friend
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12 Jan 2004, 23:11
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#11
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Angry Young Man
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street
Posts: 7,518
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Re: So i need to pee....
get channel four to film it, provide constant medical attention and psycho analysis and market it as a reality tv program named "bladdered"
__________________
Believe in me, cause i don't believe in anything
And i wanna be someone, to believe, to believe in
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12 Jan 2004, 23:13
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#12
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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Re: So i need to pee....
Those media studies classes certainly seem to be paying off.
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12 Jan 2004, 23:14
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#13
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Angry Young Man
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street
Posts: 7,518
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Re: So i need to pee....
hi nodrog. welcome back
__________________
Believe in me, cause i don't believe in anything
And i wanna be someone, to believe, to believe in
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12 Jan 2004, 23:15
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#14
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overtired
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 5,900
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Re: So i need to pee....
just focus on the rain outside
drip, drip, drop
Imagine it trickling, streaming, then gushing.
Close your eyes and picture a fountain, a waterfall, a leaking pipe, a gushing hose.
drip, drip, drop
dribble, drop, dribble, drop
Uncontrollable urge, no willpower, can't fight it, massive buildup of pressure, must let go, have to give in
USE THE SINK (or a cup/glass belonging to someone else which you then transfer to the sink)
Sigh.
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12 Jan 2004, 23:41
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#15
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Super Ultimate Cool
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 60
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Re: So i need to pee....
look at porn
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13 Jan 2004, 00:39
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#16
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: So i need to pee....
Jog on the spot?
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13 Jan 2004, 00:50
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#17
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share the <3
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Location: Location:
Posts: 2,709
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Re: So i need to pee....
How can you splash when using a bottle???? just take an empty coke bottle, stick your dick in the opening (it'll be flacid ffs) and gently pee. Ive done it lots of times when my flatmates have been in the shower and ive wanted to go (mornings usually).
__________________
Sophie is hotter than you
though ive gone off her now; the way Susanna Reid squirms around on sml is, however, awesome
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13 Jan 2004, 00:53
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#18
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Destroyer of Worlds
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 552
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Re: So i need to pee....
How long do your flatmates spend in the shower?!?! You're seriously telling me that you can go from 'not feeling like you need to go' to 'uncontrollable need to pee' in 30 mins?
__________________
“In spite of the roaring of the young lions at the Union, and the screaming of the rabbits in the home of the vivisect, in spite of Keble College, and the tramways, and the sporting prints, Oxford still remains the most beautiful thing in England, and nowhere else are life and art so exquisitely blended, so perfectly made one.”
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13 Jan 2004, 00:57
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#19
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Angry Young Man
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street
Posts: 7,518
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nusselt
How can you splash when using a bottle???? just take an empty coke bottle, stick your dick in the opening (it'll be flacid ffs) and gently pee. Ive done it lots of times when my flatmates have been in the shower and ive wanted to go (mornings usually).
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Im hoping you arent serious. You cant stick your **** in a coke bottle
__________________
Believe in me, cause i don't believe in anything
And i wanna be someone, to believe, to believe in
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13 Jan 2004, 00:58
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#20
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: So i need to pee....
Out the window. They did it all the time in the middle ages*
*not sure about this actually but said it anyways
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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13 Jan 2004, 00:58
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#21
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Ball
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 4,410
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deffeh
Im hoping you arent serious. You cant stick your **** in a coke bottle
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If it's Pepsi, why not?
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13 Jan 2004, 00:58
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#22
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deffeh
Im hoping you arent serious. You cant stick your **** in a coke bottle
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If we're being disgusting, why not just use a cup if he's that desperate?
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13 Jan 2004, 01:02
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#23
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The Bad Guy
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: East, East, East London
Posts: 2,107
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Re: So i need to pee....
A cup would overflow, yo.
__________________
I wear my sunglasses at night.
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13 Jan 2004, 01:03
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#24
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Ball
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 4,410
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rids
A cup would overflow, yo.
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Then he can stop, drink up, and start again.
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13 Jan 2004, 01:05
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#25
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rids
A cup would overflow, yo.
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I have a variety of pint glasses in my room, or a pitcher, if I was feeling ambitious.
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13 Jan 2004, 01:08
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#26
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Angry Young Man
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street
Posts: 7,518
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
If we're being disgusting, why not just use a cup if he's that desperate?
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Its not the disgusting factor, i just very much doubt itd fit, comfortably or uncomfortably, safely or unsafely
__________________
Believe in me, cause i don't believe in anything
And i wanna be someone, to believe, to believe in
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13 Jan 2004, 01:09
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#27
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Aardvark is a funny word
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: I'm No Nino Rota
Posts: 5,923
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
...or a pitcher, if I was feeling ambitious.
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im going to change my MSN nick to this and when people ask ill say 'Things to piss in' and i wont have any friends but itll be funny
__________________
Efficiency, efficiency they say
Get to know the date and tell the time of day
As the crowds begin complaining
How the Beaujolais is raining
Down on darkened meetings on the Champs Élysées
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13 Jan 2004, 01:18
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#28
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The Bad Guy
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: East, East, East London
Posts: 2,107
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deffeh
Its not the disgusting factor, i just very much doubt itd fit, comfortably or uncomfortably, safely or unsafely
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You do not need to fit your whole penis in the bottle, just enough of the tip to ensure they'll be no spillage.
Have you seriously never pissed in a bottle before?
__________________
I wear my sunglasses at night.
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13 Jan 2004, 01:20
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#29
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Angry Young Man
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street
Posts: 7,518
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Re: So i need to pee....
I have, but when i have ive either
a/ knifed the top of the bottle and cut it off
b/ positioned the tip of my **** right on the lid of the bottle and got most of it in, but some on my hand, destroying the point of the whole thing. I dont think you can really get enough of your head in to guarentee no spillages.
In fact, even though i can practically see my toilet, im going to try again
__________________
Believe in me, cause i don't believe in anything
And i wanna be someone, to believe, to believe in
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13 Jan 2004, 01:22
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#30
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The Bad Guy
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: East, East, East London
Posts: 2,107
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Re: So i need to pee....
Let me know how it turns out.
__________________
I wear my sunglasses at night.
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13 Jan 2004, 01:29
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#31
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Angry Young Man
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street
Posts: 7,518
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Re: So i need to pee....
well, i still maintain that you cannot get your ****head into a bottle. its not possible, its not even close. there was minimal spillage
__________________
Believe in me, cause i don't believe in anything
And i wanna be someone, to believe, to believe in
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13 Jan 2004, 01:31
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#32
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: So i need to pee....
Now that we've managed to get deffeh to attempt to stuck his **** in a bottle does anyone else think we should get him to set himself on fire?
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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13 Jan 2004, 01:32
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#33
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: So i need to pee....
What about those 500ml "slam" bottles they do 7-Up and Pepsi, etc in? Or a Ribena / Lucozade type bottle of similar size?
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13 Jan 2004, 01:33
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#34
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Angry Young Man
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street
Posts: 7,518
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Re: So i need to pee....
I wont do that, my friends do it enough for me. Someone trying to light my joint in my mouth on friday caught fire to my fringe.
I laughed. They laughed. I burned. But we still couldnt get my **** in that ****ing bottle
__________________
Believe in me, cause i don't believe in anything
And i wanna be someone, to believe, to believe in
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13 Jan 2004, 01:36
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#35
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deffeh
b/ positioned the tip of my **** right on the lid of the bottle
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I read that as poisoned!
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13 Jan 2004, 01:40
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#36
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deffeh
I wont do that, my friends do it enough for me. Someone trying to light my joint in my mouth on friday caught fire to my fringe.
I laughed. They laughed. I burned. But we still couldnt get my **** in that ****ing bottle
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We?
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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13 Jan 2004, 01:43
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#37
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Angry Young Man
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street
Posts: 7,518
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Re: So i need to pee....
love me love me, i made a funny.
__________________
Believe in me, cause i don't believe in anything
And i wanna be someone, to believe, to believe in
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13 Jan 2004, 01:57
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#38
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The Bad Guy
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: East, East, East London
Posts: 2,107
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Re: So i need to pee....
I put it to you that you had an odd shape penis.
__________________
I wear my sunglasses at night.
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13 Jan 2004, 02:33
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#39
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Retired
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: BONNY SCOTLAND
Posts: 869
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Re: So i need to pee....
the number of replies worries me.
really.
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This space reserved for next Signature.
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13 Jan 2004, 03:06
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#40
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share the <3
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Location: Location:
Posts: 2,709
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Re: So i need to pee....
hey this thread touched a nerve huh?
well, in answer to jenny's question every morning my first pee comes out with the force a cart horse would be proud of, its a good strong manly pee. There is no way i can hold it in for half and hour, besides this is hardly a daily occurrence it happens very occasionally.
Deffeh you dont fcking stick your entire dick in the opening just the tip like rids said, besides the bottles i have are large - like the big coke or evian bottles so ive never had a problem. And ffs IMHO peeing into a bottle and closing waiting for the bathroom to free up and emptying before throwing the bottle away is a lot less disgusting then taking a piss into a pint class, waiting in your room as the loverly aroma fills the air, then emptying it. Oh and i dont have to drink from the bottles again do i??? id fcking throw the glasses away!!! The only spillage issues come at the beginning when 'calibrating' the penis to shoot straight and true instead of 90 deg from the intended angle, its basically the same as when you take a piss in the toilet. I find a brief hyperforceful push encourages the pee to resume the right direction.
On occasion i have one of those 5 litre bottle of water, you can stick your dick in them.
__________________
Sophie is hotter than you
though ive gone off her now; the way Susanna Reid squirms around on sml is, however, awesome
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13 Jan 2004, 03:08
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#41
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Condemned to RP
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 1,654
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Re: So i need to pee....
I wonder how women solve such issues.
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13 Jan 2004, 03:12
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#42
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NEWSBOT
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: The enby cave!
Posts: 4,872
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Re: So i need to pee....
funnels
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[20:27:47] <nodrog-aawy> **** i think my housemate just caught me masturbating
[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you
[13:17:00] <KaneED> i'm so closet i'm like narnia
__________________
Pretty parks and funky scrap metal things here
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13 Jan 2004, 03:43
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#43
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Aardvark is a funny word
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: I'm No Nino Rota
Posts: 5,923
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Re: So i need to pee....
bags
__________________
Efficiency, efficiency they say
Get to know the date and tell the time of day
As the crowds begin complaining
How the Beaujolais is raining
Down on darkened meetings on the Champs Élysées
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13 Jan 2004, 03:44
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#44
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: So i need to pee....
Quote:
Originally Posted by ParraCida
I wonder how women solve such issues.
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Squatting over a ditch.
A rather disgusting sight it must be noted. There's something rather more revolting about it than a guy taking a piss up against a wall. Must be an inbuilt cultural prejudice!
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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13 Jan 2004, 09:43
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#45
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Icicle
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 30
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Re: So i need to pee....
So I take it JBOY peed in his face?
__________________
The Iceman Cometh
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13 Jan 2004, 10:58
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#46
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: So i need to pee....
you people have waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on your hands
seriously ;/
__________________
lazy
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13 Jan 2004, 11:19
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#47
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Lucky
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: -
Posts: 3,830
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Re: So i need to pee....
1,5 hours to go, then classes. then weekend.
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