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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 18:18   #1
acropolis
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When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

where will you be?

A) In the lobby (w/cigars)
B) At the bar (the game is on)
C) Golf course
D) Bermuda
E) Other (explain)

I have no clue for me; curious if you've considered this issue. I can tell you one place I won't be though.
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 18:22   #2
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

I'll be in consultation with a group of lawyers preparing the law suit to end all law suits as I have had a vascectomy.
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 18:23   #3
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vaio
I'll be in consultation with a group of lawyers preparing the law suit to end all law suits as I have had a vascectomy.
ouch.

How was that?

I'm not man enough to try.
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 18:53   #4
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Child One: in the lobby

Child Two: Was supposed to be in the room for the birth (not by my preference) but they waited so long to take her to the delivery room that once there she gave birth before I could get suited up. Damn the luck. \o/

Vasectomy: Had one of those after one and two above. The 10cc of valium was nice. The next few days with the swelling and all was a bit uncomfortable. There was no pain during. However, I do know of one horror story. A local policeman who I know had a vasectomy and they knicked a blood vessel. A day later, it became apparent that there was a problem. For whatever medical reason, I don't know, when they went back in to fix the problem they had to remove one testicle. I imagine that couldn't have been pleasant.
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 18:57   #5
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

i imagine id be in the lobby, i would be bugger all use actually in there, but would want to be nearby.
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 20:42   #6
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Quote:
Originally Posted by dda
Vasectomy: Had one of those after one and two above.
Woah woah woah


You had two vasectomies?
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 20:50   #7
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Vasectomy after two children.

Could have replied that it was too big of a job for just one operation.
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 21:09   #8
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Exclamation Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

I was in the delivery room for both of mine. There really wasn't much for me to do, but it was interesting.

For #1, I mostly stood around and tried to be helpful during the ensuing train wreck. We had a rather novice MD who didn't do anything and after many hours of labor my wife was grabbing my shirt so hard that the buttons were popping off. Fortunately, the staff Obstetrician finally arrived to save the day before any additional clothing was damaged.

For #2, we had a new doctor plus I hired a Doula. This was really the way to go because the Doula did just about everything I should have been doing far better than I could have done it. This left me free to radiate a sense of detached competence that carried the day.
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 22:26   #9
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Will most likely be in the delivering room. But that time is most likely and hopefully still far in the future (like at least 5-6 years)
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 23:01   #10
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

delivery room, absolutely no question about it
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 23:19   #11
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

in heaven, i suppose. it would be an act of god
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 23:31   #12
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

In the car, driving like a madman to get back to the hospital in time for the emergency C-Section, then getting to the hospital, running into the wife's room to find no-one, no-one at all.


No wife, no doctors, no nurses, no baby, no nothing, just a few strewn gloves/masks/gowns on the floor.


Ten minutes of unbelievable stress until I found out what that the noise I could hear wasn't a cat, but my daughter and that all was OK, but still...
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 23:37   #13
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Quote:
Originally Posted by acropolis
ouch.

How was that?

I'm not man enough to try.
Don't let the fact that I spent 2 days curled into a ball in bed wishing I was dead put anyone off considering the idea.

If anyone does go through it, when nurse says 'we just need to put some of this on and it may get a little warm' don't be surprised if it feels like your bollocks are on fire. It's some sort of disinfectant.

It's not actually that bad although it feels like it at the time.
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 23:45   #14
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead_Meat
In the car, driving like a madman to get back to the hospital in time for the emergency C-Section, then getting to the hospital, running into the wife's room to find no-one, no-one at all.


No wife, no doctors, no nurses, no baby, no nothing, just a few strewn gloves/masks/gowns on the floor.


Ten minutes of unbelievable stress until I found out what that the noise I could hear wasn't a cat, but my daughter and that all was OK, but still...


Yes, but, she's not really your child is she?!

Yeah, yeah, yeah we all know that you "love her like she were your own daughter" but that doesn't make you her daddy.

Not biologically anyways.
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Unread 10 Aug 2005, 23:49   #15
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

She has my hair. This is proof enough.
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Unread 11 Aug 2005, 00:00   #16
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Anyone can shave a child's head.

ANYONE!

You're grasping at straws old man*














*your powers are weak
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Unread 11 Aug 2005, 00:38   #17
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

it takes about fifteen minutes from cut to stitches. barely enough time for a gin ...
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Unread 11 Aug 2005, 00:54   #18
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Lobby.

It's what 50% of men do.... apparently.
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Unread 11 Aug 2005, 05:02   #19
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

probably delivery room, just to, you know, look caring

tbh the whole thing scares the crap out of me, its ok for women they get to develop a bond with the alien parasitic lifeform growing inside them, they feel the kicks etc.

All we get is the end of the deal amidst much screaming blood and goo is this thing popping out.

I saw a programme on births the otherday, different methods of delivery (in hospital in a paddling pool in your house !!!! etc) the paddling pool one was the most interesting (shocking) a naked woman inside it, everything about the experience ewwwwwed me, her waters didn't 'break', a percussion cap inside her vagina went off and a sudden hard torrent of water erupted forth and clouded the pp (ewwww) it was like the most powerful forced piss you ever do. After the obvious screaming blood and goo the lifeform came forth

hollywood lied to me, i was led to believe a nice neat baby was given to the mother in a crisp towel, infact the baby was still attached to the inside of the mother via what looked like an enlarged USB cable, the cable was eventually cut (near the slave end) but not before a rather amusing time when the mother was trying to get comfortable and cuddle a baby that was still attached to her insides, and the remaining part (from the master side) flopped down into the water until the 'bits' it was attached to came forth (which was basically a second birth)

At everysingle stage i couldn't help but notice the waters got cloudier and bloodier and gooier.



The miracle of birth looks a fairly repulsive process
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Unread 11 Aug 2005, 07:37   #20
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

delivery room. This will probably result in me getting my arm torn off. my wife has a very low pain tolerance.
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Unread 11 Aug 2005, 08:18   #21
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

I have this unfortunate suspeicion I am rquired to be wherever the birth is taking place - which I prefer the idea of being in hospital. Mark is required to be there as well, being sworn at, assaulted, and generally detested until its all over. He is to take this with no complaints whatsoever.

And Nusselt, they used to do all the cleaning up first and gave mum a nice clean tidy baby after a while, but now its been decided thats bad for bonding between the mother and child, so they dump it on you the second its come out. I'm not gnerally good with bodily fluids - I'm not sure it will help me bond with a baby to have it put on my tummy while its all slimy and bloody...I'll just want them to take it away and make it clean.
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Unread 11 Aug 2005, 08:24   #22
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

In the delivery room definitely. A bit of blood doesn't bother me, in fact I quite like it.
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Unread 11 Aug 2005, 11:24   #23
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

It would be caesarean or abortion and I'd turn up when I felt my partner wasn't going to kill me.
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Unread 11 Aug 2005, 15:32   #24
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Exclamation Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

I'm not going to have children.
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Unread 11 Aug 2005, 15:56   #25
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

in this thread we discover most of GD is 'firing blanks'
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Unread 11 Aug 2005, 15:59   #26
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Question Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

That's a good thing, surely?
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Unread 11 Aug 2005, 16:01   #27
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

oh,

given that it'd stop them reproducing,

yeah.
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 00:38   #28
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nusselt
probably delivery room, just to, you know, look caring

tbh the whole thing scares the crap out of me, its ok for women they get to develop a bond with the alien parasitic lifeform growing inside them, they feel the kicks etc.

(
delivery room, already satrted discussin it with each other/the midwife

oh, and the reason i have quoted nusselt: i have felt the kicks of my future son, 3 months to go and he is kicking like a champion
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 00:39   #29
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

i told you caesarian.

do you imagine that i misslead you?
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 00:41   #30
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

nah, but we are going to a midwlfe led unit, she cant actually have a caesarian unless we go to a different hospital
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 00:43   #31
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

that's because caesarians cost more for the state so they have every interest in fobbing you off with a so called 'natural birth'

they'll take advantage of you like a mechanic with a woman.
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 00:47   #32
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

lol, they cant actually perform a c section at the hospital we are going to.

and, to bo fair, the wife doesn't want one, she is all for the natural birth thing, and i'm dupporting her... on the proviso that she doesn't try and kill me if the pain gets too bad lol
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 00:47   #33
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
i have felt the kicks of my future son, 3 months to go and he is kicking like a champion
He'll probably be the next Jonny Wilkinson or Alan Shearer.

Or some kind of cage fighting champion.
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 00:51   #34
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
lol, they cant actually perform a c section at the hospital we are going to.

and, to bo fair, the wife doesn't want one, she is all for the natural birth thing, and i'm dupporting her... on the proviso that she doesn't try and kill me if the pain gets too bad lol
laugh all you wish

you are being fobbed off with second rate medical care because you are not wealthy, you are not of intimidating birth and you live in the north.

at least let me be upset. let me rant a little about how you deserve better. how disgraceful it is that the 3 factors i listed should matter and how it should change.

please let me do this before you swallow the (frankly poor quality) propaganda and tell me that you actually 'prefer' second rate treatment
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 00:58   #35
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
and i'm deporting her...
???
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 08:55   #36
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
oh, and the reason i have quoted nusselt: i have felt the kicks of my future son, 3 months to go and he is kicking like a champion
Sounds like you are putting pressure on him already.

"Alistair, you WILL be a champion, fulfil daddy's dreams!"
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 09:54   #37
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Quote:
Originally Posted by sniborp
???

if you look, the actual spelling was dupporting, which, if you look at your keyboard is suspiciously like supporting, and, as the keys s and d are next to each other on the keyboard, and, as it was a 'tad' late when i wrote that and i both:
a)didnt have a light on
and
b) was a bit tipsy

i think i can be forgiven


and i would just like to point out that we actually had the choice of 2 different hospitals, one midwife led, and one more traditional consultant led and cecily made the choice to go with the midwife led one
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 10:03   #38
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
it takes about fifteen minutes from cut to stitches. barely enough time for a gin ...
You're either drinking very slowly, or it's some abomination of a gin.
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 10:37   #39
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
You're either drinking very slowly, or it's some abomination of a gin.
I think fifteen minutes for a bottle isn't too slow.
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I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........

ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 11:04   #40
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

i'm never going to have kids so i don't have to worry about it
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 13:41   #41
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Exclamation Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
"Alistair, you WILL be a champion, fulfil daddy's dreams!"
No-one called Alastair could be a champion. A freak, mabye, but not a champion.
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 22:37   #42
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

yeah all that aids and dried cum and stuff...
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Unread 13 Aug 2005, 00:49   #43
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nantoz
Actually it's proven to be more healthy for a child to be born in the natural way, than trough a c-section. Due to the bacteria and such the child is exposed to on it's way through the birth canal.
this must be why caesarian babies die all the time.

do stop talking rot.
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Unread 13 Aug 2005, 00:59   #44
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vaio
I'll be in consultation with a group of lawyers preparing the law suit to end all law suits as I have had a vascectomy.
and you will get nadda,
Vasectomies are only given a 95% sucess rate (continuing sucess rate) of which you will have been advised of by your surgeon prior to the operation.
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Unread 13 Aug 2005, 01:03   #45
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

I was in the delivery room for my first. at my wife's bedside at home for the second and again in the delivery room for the third.

Shortly after I went also for a Vasectomy, painless, never felt a thing.

A bit black and blue for a few days, and advised no heavy lifting for at least 6 months.
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Unread 13 Aug 2005, 06:39   #46
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

Quote:
Originally Posted by Judge
and you will get nadda,
Vasectomies are only given a 95% sucess rate (continuing sucess rate) of which you will have been advised of by your surgeon prior to the operation.
You also have to go back for fertility tests, which I failed, therefore if I did get my lady preggers, someone didn't do their job properly (unlike me, who did)
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Unread 14 Aug 2005, 16:53   #47
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Re: When Your Kid(s) Is (Are) Being Born

My best friend got his girl in the marrage way last year. He's a tough guy. A gorrila. He wanted to be at the birth so I dropped him to the hospital at 3am.
Then I hear the story, how he was mangled by his girl (to be expected). How she drove the ring on his finger into his bone and actually dented it.
How, then, the doctor had to cut the perineum. Which resulted in a massive scream. A spray of blood. Which hit the doctor and my friend. Who then fainted.
He came around just after the child had been born. He got to cut the cord. Then had to sit down for the night.
Personally, I'll be at the top of the bed, never venturing below the waistline I think.
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