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Unread 5 May 2006, 18:31   #1
eJohn
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Hell is..

... two fat 40 something women out on a hen night barging in front of you in the takeaway queue, stealing the last burgers while making disgusting saucy comments to everyone around them (which is even more disgusting because they are fat dry hackett lager slags), paying in silvers, talking in shit woman patter code, and making you miss the last bus home.

I think.

This hasnt happened to me, not all at once anyway. I want to ban fat women from laughing though. it annoys me. Or at least ban them from wearing waddling cleavage wearing attire.

Anyway, finish the sentence,

hell is...

(my dad always said "hell is a neverending basket of unpaired socks that dont match" which is pretty good but not funny because it doesnt involve fat people)
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Unread 5 May 2006, 18:35   #2
Dante Hicks
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Re: Hell is..

Quote:
Originally Posted by eJohn
"hell is a neverending basket of unpaired socks that dont match"
Yeah, that would be horrific.
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Unread 5 May 2006, 18:38   #3
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Re: Hell is..

why the confused smiley? imagine trying to pair all those socks together
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Unread 5 May 2006, 18:41   #4
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Re: Hell is..

if you know they don't match, just wear them odd. odd socks had a mini fashion thing going for a while (dont know if it's still happening).

to be controversial, hell is not other people
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Unread 5 May 2006, 18:42   #5
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Re: Hell is..

Quote:
Originally Posted by eJohn
why the confused smiley? imagine trying to pair all those socks together
I've not worn a matched pair of socks for years (at least, not deliberately, I don't really check though).
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Unread 5 May 2006, 18:45   #6
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Re: Hell is..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
I've not worn a matched pair of socks for years (at least, not deliberately, I don't really check though).
It's probably a lot easier when they're all black.
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Unread 5 May 2006, 18:47   #7
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Re: Hell is..

Hell Is

A room full of naked , horny , Kelly Brooke clones , and a Eunuch.
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Unread 5 May 2006, 18:47   #8
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Re: Hell is..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
It's probably a lot easier when they're all black.
I'm currently wearing one sock which is black and one with this pattern
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Unread 5 May 2006, 18:55   #9
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Re: Hell is..

did you put them on before or after you waxed your vagina
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Unread 5 May 2006, 19:08   #10
Dante Hicks
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Re: Hell is..

I don't wax, I shave.
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Unread 5 May 2006, 19:17   #11
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Re: Hell is..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurashima
Hell Is

A room full of naked , horny , Kelly Brooke clones , and a Eunuch.
oddly if i walked into such a room, i'd be pretty happy.

and as for socks, even if you did care about whether your socks matched, it wouldn't be possible to get too far without finding two that are 'close enough'.

Arguably that could be hell for someone with OCD, but I would just think "A bottomless drawer of matchless socks? You mean I'll never have to wash socks again?!?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
I don't wax, I shave.
does that work for you? I just end up with the 'sandpapery feel', which really isn't any better.
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Unread 5 May 2006, 19:28   #12
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Re: Hell is..

Hell is blue balls.



Case closed.
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Unread 5 May 2006, 19:32   #13
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Exclamation Re: Hell is..

Hell is a teenaged son and a menopausal wife with a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. :/
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Unread 5 May 2006, 19:38   #14
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Re: Hell is..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
I'm currently wearing one sock which is black and one with this pattern
Is this to mark you as an enemy of society with a knowing nod to the "beano" subculture of our youths. A secret sign that only the initiated will understand: when the revolution comes, you will be at the heart of the struggle.
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Unread 5 May 2006, 20:04   #15
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Re: Hell is..

last year at the 'Gentse feesten' we met some 40-something women in the bus. they were from Holland (Breda) also and party there every year. then they began speaking about girls and sex and all that, so my mates pointed at me and said i didn't have a gf, nor sex.
so they started 'flirting' with me.* i turned red, it always happens to me when i get too much attention, just can't help it. so they did it more and more and more. i was happy when we were there and could leave them behind.

at 4am we took the last nightbus from citycenter to campsite and met them again. they were in the backside of the bus with some other people from Breda, while we sat in the middle with some guys from our town that we met there. but then we started singing anti-Breda footballsongs like "het is zwart het is geel het is homosexueel jalallalalala" and i lolled. the end.

conclusion: people that are over 40 should be banned from nightlife around the world.









*taking the piss.
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Unread 5 May 2006, 20:10   #16
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Re: Hell is..

Hell is James Blunt played over and over again by your neighbour as you try and fix your amplifier.
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Unread 5 May 2006, 20:42   #17
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Re: Hell is..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tactitus
Hell is a teenaged son and a menopausal wife with a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. :/
That will hurt.

Hell is having to deal with a wasps nest under a rather confined porch when Im the only one skinny enough to fit underneath.
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Unread 5 May 2006, 20:48   #18
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Re: Hell is..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vaio
Hell is James Blunt played over and over again by your neighbour as you try and fix your amplifier.
Revenge is getting the amplifier to work, I assume?
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Unread 5 May 2006, 20:53   #19
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Re: Hell is..

Hell is mtv's my super sweet sixteen

someone shoot them now
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Unread 5 May 2006, 21:44   #20
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Re: Hell is..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Appocomaster
Revenge is getting the amplifier to work, I assume?
Damn right.
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Unread 5 May 2006, 22:14   #21
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Re: Hell is..

Quote:
Originally Posted by acropolis
oddly if i walked into such a room, i'd be pretty happy.
Youre the Eunuch.
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Unread 5 May 2006, 22:46   #22
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Re: Hell is..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael
Hell is mtv's my super sweet sixteen

someone shoot them now

I concurr and volunteer...
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Unread 5 May 2006, 23:56   #23
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Re: Hell is..

Hell is having that condition (too pissed to look it up) where every time you orgasm you pass out.

Actually...
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Unread 6 May 2006, 00:52   #24
JonnyBGood
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Re: Hell is..

I sympathise with the sock thing. Somehow I have over 40 different black socks and they're all different shades of black. Christ knows how it happens.













Hell is a koen post.
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Unread 6 May 2006, 00:54   #25
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Re: Hell is..

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
I sympathise with the sock thing. Somehow I have over 40 different black socks and they're all different shades of black. Christ knows how it happens.
You don't keep them properly paired.
Each sock has gone through the machine a different number of times and worn a different number of times, so lost a different amount of colour because of this.
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Unread 6 May 2006, 00:59   #26
JonnyBGood
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Re: Hell is..

Yeah but surely it tends to balance itself out you'd think
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Unread 6 May 2006, 01:17   #27
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Re: Hell is..

Hell is being Danny Baker.
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Unread 6 May 2006, 01:49   #28
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Re: Hell is..

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Yeah but surely it tends to balance itself out you'd think
I find that it does, the day I realised that all my socks were black so I didnt actually have to bother to pair them up ever again; was a happy one
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Unread 6 May 2006, 02:27   #29
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Re: Hell is..

"the absence of love"

according to the bible, i think
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Unread 6 May 2006, 12:14   #30
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Re: Hell is..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
"the absence of love"

according to the bible, i think

"the absence of aileen" :crymeariver:
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Unread 6 May 2006, 17:07   #31
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Re: Hell is..

"Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn."
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Unread 6 May 2006, 18:12   #32
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Re: Hell is..

'woman scorned' is it not?
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Unread 9 May 2006, 00:46   #33
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Re: Hell is..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael
Hell is mtv's my super sweet sixteen

someone shoot them now

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Unread 9 May 2006, 00:49   #34
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Re: Hell is..

Quote:
Originally Posted by KoeN
"the absence of aileen" :crymeariver:

Welcome to Hell for all eternity!
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Unread 9 May 2006, 12:27   #35
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Re: Hell is..

Holly: being locked in a room frever with your friends
Lister: Holly, all his mates were French.
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Unread 9 May 2006, 12:33   #36
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Re: Hell is..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
Yeah, that would be horrific.
You dont wash your hair or your clothes, but you go to the bother of matching your socks?

edit: oh, you were joking.
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Unread 9 May 2006, 15:03   #37
Tomkat
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Re: Hell is..

the confused smiley confused nobrod!
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