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6 Dec 2002, 00:17
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#1
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Guest
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Other than masturbation
What would drive God to killing Kittens?
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6 Dec 2002, 00:18
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#2
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Child Eating Zombie Clown
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 1,450
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foreskins.
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Mirai - An Astral Being From Outer Space
Die You Bitch Minister of Insanity - "Timete Nostrum Piscem Furoris"
My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever, we begin bombing in 5 minutes - President Ronald Reagan, in a radio check where he did not realize the microphone was on and the station broadcasting
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6 Dec 2002, 00:18
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#3
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Angry Young Man
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street
Posts: 7,518
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DM closing my AMUSINGLY TITLED THREAD
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Believe in me, cause i don't believe in anything
And i wanna be someone, to believe, to believe in
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6 Dec 2002, 00:19
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#4
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It was a Stupid Dream
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Winchester, UK
Posts: 2,077
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Re: Other than masturbation
Quote:
Originally posted by Dace
What would drive God to killing Kittens?
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the annoying ones
who scream
at night
or early morning
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6 Dec 2002, 00:20
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#5
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mirai
foreskins.
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But God "invented" foreskins.
As such this is not a plausible answer because something that God created can't be evil.
"zero score"
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6 Dec 2002, 00:22
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#6
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Look! He's Dancing!
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Gawd Bless Glasgow
Posts: 2,144
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Hello.jpg or pain.jpg
__________________
[22:18] <nodrog> Cock: 8" (20cm) uncut
[22:18] <nodrog> Balls: Large hefty balls, stretched max 6" (15.5cm)
[22:18] <nodrog> Arse: Can take two fists, or one fist almost to the elbow, but slow warming up.
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6 Dec 2002, 00:23
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#7
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Deffeh
DM closing my AMUSINGLY TITLED THREAD
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I feel that the "ultimate truth" at the centre of your suggestion is:
"The act of a person stopping happines for no reason"
Do you agree Deffeh?
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6 Dec 2002, 00:23
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#8
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Twisted
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Down with the sickness
Posts: 2,484
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mirai
foreskins.
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fat ones perhaps..
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Me
In my sleep I grind my teeth.
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6 Dec 2002, 00:30
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#9
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dace
What would drive God to killing Kittens?
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Every time you re-subscribe to AOL Mr Rankin?
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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6 Dec 2002, 00:31
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#10
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Angry Young Man
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street
Posts: 7,518
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dace
I feel that the "ultimate truth" at the centre of your suggestion is:
"The act of a person stopping happines for no reason"
Do you agree Deffeh?
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yes
but my thread was amusing
i shall post it again at an unspecified time! (tommorow)
__________________
Believe in me, cause i don't believe in anything
And i wanna be someone, to believe, to believe in
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6 Dec 2002, 00:34
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#11
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Which bit of it was?
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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6 Dec 2002, 00:35
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#12
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dead_Meat
Every time you re-subscribe to AOL Mr Rankin?
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"I don't own a computer."
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6 Dec 2002, 00:36
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#13
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Angry Young Man
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Mister Cacciatore's down on Sullivan Street
Posts: 7,518
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dead_Meat
Which bit of it was?
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the title. **** all else, yes, but thats not the point.
__________________
Believe in me, cause i don't believe in anything
And i wanna be someone, to believe, to believe in
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6 Dec 2002, 01:23
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#14
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dace
But God "invented" foreskins.
As such this is not a plausible answer because something that God created can't be evil.
"zero score"
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But God ordered them removed from the Jews.
Jews = chosen people
Foreskin removal = preference of God
so, Mirai = WIN
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6 Dec 2002, 01:28
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#15
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Banned
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 773
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Anyone ever posting that overused "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten" image macro
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6 Dec 2002, 01:34
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#16
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by ŠiSCoRPoRaTioN
But God ordered them removed from the Jews.
Jews = chosen people
Foreskin removal = preference of God
so, Mirai =WIN
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You should read "Survivor" (by Chuck Palahniuk).
"You and your friend."
It explains some things about religion.
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6 Dec 2002, 01:35
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#17
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Google tells me that:
Your website’s so ugly, every time you update it, God kills a kitten
Every time you steal software God kills a kitten
time you open an unsolicited new browser window god kills a kitten
Ummm, every time you, uh, play Yahtzee, God kills a kitten
Morrowind: More time killed
... Or a ninja named Bob. Every time you name a character like that, God kills a kitten.
Every time you read my diary, God kills a kitten
Every time you steal my code, God kills a kitten
Every time you make a box on Mefi, Matt kills a kitten.
Every time somebody gets a free comic on Free Comic Book Day without doing something
Every time you light up, God kills a kitten.to tell other people about it, God kills a kitten
Looks like kittens are fked from where I'm standing........
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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6 Dec 2002, 01:36
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#18
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I AM OSCAR WILDE
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 364
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tubgirl.jpg
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[The Illuminati] [ LeetLiekJeffK!!111]
[Naked Oral Sex] | Self Exile Count in Round 11: 12
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6 Dec 2002, 01:37
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#19
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dead_Meat
Looks like kittens are fked from where I'm standing........
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"Where [your] standing" being "on a heap of dead kittens" yeah?!
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6 Dec 2002, 01:39
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#20
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dace
You should read "Survivor" (by Chuck Palahniuk).
"You and your friend."
It explains some things about religion.
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Shush. I know more about religion then I let on
but seeing as way past midnight and I get a wonderful 5 hrs of sleep every night, my brain shuts down after a while
unfortunately, it shut down whilst I was conceiving that attempt at a humerous post.
=\
sry, Daceh.
Mirai = still WIN tho, just cuz he had a cyst and all..
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6 Dec 2002, 01:40
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#21
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dace
"Where [your] standing" being "on a heap of dead kittens" yeah?!
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You're implying I'm God?
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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6 Dec 2002, 01:42
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#22
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dead_Meat
You're implying I'm God?
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No, i'm "implying" that you can tell that Kittens aren't having a very good time of it because due to your current location you can see alot of dead kittens.
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6 Dec 2002, 01:47
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#23
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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What I can see is that God is gonna have a pretty fking hard time finding enough kittens to kill considering what us down here are willing to let God kill them for..........
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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6 Dec 2002, 01:49
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#24
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dead_Meat
What I can see is that God is gonna have a pretty fking hard time finding enough kittens to kill considering what us down here are willing to let God kill them for..........
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I actually thought about this when i started the thread.
You see i always wondered why people bred cats.
Now i think i "know".
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6 Dec 2002, 01:52
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#25
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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But surely God has his own supply, doesn't he?
Either that or he's making a fortune supplying Chinese and Korean restaurants with 'beef' and 'chicken'
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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6 Dec 2002, 02:00
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#26
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dead_Meat
But surely God has his own supply, doesn't he?
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I think God only had an initial supply which he thought should last him.
Due to humans breeding and then getting really evil i think God realised that he needed a bigger supply so to avert a major catastrophe* he had the option of either:
- Not being such a hard ass and killing Kittens for **** all reason
or
- Getting more Kittens into circulation in the world
Now thesedays God can't interact with the world directly (which means he couldn't make the Kittens himself).
In addition to this and due to the current situation i deduce that God spoke to some crazy people in their head and told them to make some more Kittens.
Those people who tried to do what God wanted using paper mache and their inherent artistic flair went to Hell when they died.
Those people who bred cats got into the fast lane heading for Heaven when they died.
As such people learned through this trial and error method.
*i am currently laughing at my own "funny"
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6 Dec 2002, 02:08
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#27
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Frankly, I'm feline more than a little dubious about your theory.
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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6 Dec 2002, 02:13
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#28
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dead_Meat
Frankly, I'm feline more than a little dubious about your theory.
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Personally i think it gives paws fur thought.
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6 Dec 2002, 02:15
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#29
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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True, but I reckon you're a whisker away from a tall tail
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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6 Dec 2002, 02:24
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#30
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dead_Meat
True, but I reckon you're a whisker away from a tall tail
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What a terrible catalogue of puns you pussies come out with.
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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6 Dec 2002, 02:25
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#31
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dead_Meat
True, but I reckon you're a whisker away from a tall tail
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I reckon you're only saying that claws you know i'm right but can't bring yourself to say so.
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6 Dec 2002, 02:27
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#32
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Wait until I get my claws into it and it'll get even worse
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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6 Dec 2002, 02:29
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#33
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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DOUBLE PUN !!!!!!!!!!
I'm hungry, time for a KitKat
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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6 Dec 2002, 03:06
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#34
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dace
But God "invented" foreskins.
As such this is not a plausible answer because something that God created can't be evil.
"zero score"
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well didnt god invent kittens too then
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6 Dec 2002, 08:43
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#35
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOFLES !!!!!!!!!!1111111
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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6 Dec 2002, 10:24
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#36
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Lai
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: rah
Posts: 386
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Quote:
Originally posted by ŠiSCoRPoRaTioN
But God ordered them removed from the Jews.
Jews = chosen people
Foreskin removal = preference of God
so, Mirai =WIN
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Not being racist, but by being chosen what EXACTLY did the jews gain? quite a few dead friends...slavery...and er...a guy in a shakespeare play ages ago losing all his wealth cos he tried to kill a matey.
__________________
[18:02]<DJ_Bass>When i was just a knee basher i ran outside with a coat hanger above my head thinking it would repel lightning
[18:03]<Ashknight>If it hit you, now that would explain a LOT
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Follow the guy in front
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<[7th]Seventh> liseh?
<Bloomers> hmmm
<Bloomers> he's okay
<Bloomers> you are fitter tho
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6 Dec 2002, 10:27
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#37
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dead_Meat
Google tells me that:
Your website’s so ugly, every time you update it, God kills a kitten
Every time you steal software God kills a kitten
time you open an unsolicited new browser window god kills a kitten
Ummm, every time you, uh, play Yahtzee, God kills a kitten
Morrowind: More time killed
... Or a ninja named Bob. Every time you name a character like that, God kills a kitten.
Every time you read my diary, God kills a kitten
Every time you steal my code, God kills a kitten
Every time you make a box on Mefi, Matt kills a kitten.
Every time somebody gets a free comic on Free Comic Book Day without doing something
Every time you light up, God kills a kitten.to tell other people about it, God kills a kitten
Looks like kittens are fked from where I'm standing........
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I got a free comic then yup, kitten killer extrodinaire, thats meh!
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lazy
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8 Dec 2002, 23:21
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#38
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Superluminal Mod(retired)
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Shakespeare Country
Posts: 219
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Christians
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