the 'guys only want an easy lay' discussion

[Aryn]

right.. since this has come up in a few different threads i thought i'd give it it's own thread.

ok so. my opinion is that most guys are just looking for an easy lay. yes i know there's a few who don't. but it seems to be a rareity.

i guess 1/2 of those which i would put in this category don't actually go looking for one.. but if one comes along.. they wouldn't say no.

i don't know why if guys sleep with a lot of girls it's 'cool' whereas if a girl sleeps with a lot of guys she's a 'slut'
personally i wouldn't go for anyone who's slept around. *shrug*

[Mushroom]

i'm not looking for 'an easy lay'
in fact, i'm not really looking for anything atm, there's far too much work to be done.
but i'd rather be in love, if it indeed exists.
ahwell.

[Ragnarak]

Originally Posted by Aryn

personally i wouldn't go for anyone who's slept around. *shrug*

So you're missing around on a potentially great relationship cos someone is more sexually experienced than you?

[Aryn]

or
i'm avoiding being another number, and getting hurt later on.

[Ragnarak]

Originally Posted by Aryn

or
i'm avoiding being another number, and getting hurt later on.

So because they have a history of sleeping around it's not possible that they'd want a relationship?

[Deffeh]

what if i give you a lot of money?

Friendship you can have with either sex, Intercourse you only feel attracted to one (bisexuals can fk off). That to me is what marks the difference

[Baron Morte]

Lately i am experiencing the other way around. girls use me and dump me
sucky

[skiddy]

I don't do random sex.

I would if I got the chance though

[Aryn]

perhaps it's just my good ol'fashioned values.
i'll explain more after lunch

[Weeks]

Some do, some don't.
IF you find all guys want an easy lay you are obviously hanging around with the wrong kind of guys.

I know a few guys like this, i know a few girls like this. I blame Sex in the Shitty.

[edit] Sex in the Shitter, that's a Sex in the City porno parody waiting to happen!

[LHC]

I'd say it was the majority that don't

[Nodrog]

blackies only want fried chicken

[Ragnarak]

Originally Posted by Nodrog

blackies only want fried chicken

steroetyping is the new racism

[Nodrog]

stupid shallow generalisations about a group is the new stupid shallow generalisations about a group

[Dante Hicks]

Generalisations are bad, k?

I'm not looking for an easy lay, but if it was offered to me and I wasn't full of self-loating and doubt then I'd probably be more than happy.

I don't understand why it's considered a bad thing to enjoy someone's company, in whichever fashion

[Ragnarak]

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

Generalisations are bad, k?

I'm not looking for an easy lay, but if it was offered to me and I wasn't full of self-loating and doubt then I'd probably be more than happy.

I don't understand why it's considered a bad thing to enjoy someone's company, in whichever fashion

when you're not getting any, the people who are are bastards

[Weeks]

Enjoying sex isn't a bad thing.
However screwing everyone you can get your hands on probably wont give you long term happiness.

[Nodrog]

girls dont like boys girls like cars and money

[Dante Hicks]

Originally Posted by Weeks

Enjoying sex isn't a bad thing.
However screwing everyone you can get your hands on probably wont give you long term happiness.

I'm not sure anyone claimed it would. But what exactly will give you long term happiness? Dedicating your life to someone else?

Probably works for some people I'm sure, but it's equally true that that won't give you long term happiness either.

[Nodrog]

Originally Posted by Weeks

Enjoying sex isn't a bad thing.
However screwing everyone you can get your hands on probably wont give you long term happiness.

correlation != causation

[Weeks]

stoping being pretencious.
it's getting annoying.

[Aryn]

heh. nod don't be stupid.

maybe it's the prude in me who would like to think that sex is something special. and it wouldn't be special if a guy i slept with has also slept wtih 20 other girls. perhaps i'm not mad at the guys who do it, perhaps i'm mad at the girls who give it. but i've never had the mindset that i'm gonna fk as many guys as i can until i find the 'right one'

[Nodrog]

huh?

Its common sense. Some people believe that others whom enjoy sleeping with a lot of different people are 'using sex' as an attempt to 'give meaning to their empty lives'/'replace the love they never had'/whatever. In these cases, its their unhappiness that leads to them sleeping with a lot of people, not sleeping with a lot of people that leads to their unhappiness. Your arrow of casuality is backwards.

[Aryn]

i meant about the 'generalizations' bit
as i said that i know not 'all' guys are like this.

[queball]

Originally Posted by Aryn

heh. nod don't be stupid.

maybe it's the prude in me who would like to think that sex is something special. and it wouldn't be special if a guy i slept with has also slept wtih 20 other girls. perhaps i'm not mad at the guys who do it, perhaps i'm mad at the girls who give it. but i've never had the mindset that i'm gonna fk as many guys as i can until i find the 'right one'

So it's nothing to do with you being fat?

[Nodrog]

^^^^^^^^^^^o no u didnt

Originally Posted by Aryn

i meant about the 'generalizations' bit
as i said that i know not 'all' guys are like this.

I was talking to Weeks. Your generalisation was ridiculous though - although i probably think your use of the word 'only' is more suspect than your use of 'all'.

[Ragnarak]

Originally Posted by queball

So it's nothing to do with you being fat?

[Weeks]

Yeah, valid point.
But it goes both ways.
Unhappiness is generally on both ends.

Unhappiness -> fck your pain away -> Unhappiness

They fck people cos of some unhappiness (generally getting treated badly), and the fcking also makes them unhappy (as they realise they are no better than the person who orginally fck them).

[Aryn]

Originally Posted by queball

So it's nothing to do with you being fat?

don't be ridicules
of course it is :P

but.. some people like fatties right? but, my opinion still stands.

[Ragnarak]

Originally Posted by Aryn

don't be ridicules
of course it is :P

but.. some people like fatties right? but, my opinion still stands.

some people like nice girls, regardless of their weight

if you went out with a guy who liked you just cos u were fat...i'm not finishing this sentence cos the comedy options are making me laugh too much

[Aryn]

i wouldn't go out with a guy who just liked me cause i was fat that's too creepy.
that and i've started to lose weight here (shock horror!) so he'd dump me if i got skinny anywya

[Nodrog]

I think that sexual attraction is probably the most important thing in a relationship, and anyone who disagrees is either lying to themselves, or has been taught to feel guilty about sex in some form or another. However attraction doesnt just depend on looks, although looks do play a part (albeit a far less important part than other things).

Noone has ever liked anyone because they are 'nice'.

[Ragnarak]

Originally Posted by Nodrog

I think that sexual attraction is probably the most important thing in a relationship, and anyone who disagrees is either lying to themselves, or has been taught to feel guilty about sex in some form or another. However attraction doesnt just depend on looks, although looks do play a part (albeit a far less important part than other things).

Noone has ever liked anyone because they are 'nice'.

I was agreeing up until the last line.

I'm more attracted to someone if they are 'nice', 'caring', 'thoughtful', etc and assume that most people who want a relationship are the same.

If a person wasn't nice, no matter how much i was attracted to them i don't think it would work as a relationship.

[Nodrog]

I've always seen nice as a negative term, as it is normally used to mean 'non-offensive', or more accurately, "lack of passion". How can you ever be attracted to a lack of passion, unless you are one of those broken people who have a fear of intense emotions?

[Ragnarak]

Originally Posted by Nodrog

I've always seen nice as a negative term, as it is normally used to mean "lack of passion". How can you ever be attracted to a lack of passion, unless you are one of those broken people who have a fear of intense emotinos?

Ok we have different definitions of nice

I meant nice as in nice. Someone who was a nice person. Caring, considerate, compassionate. Not horrible.

Since when did "nice" start to mean "cold and frigid"?

Oh, you dated Jenny...

lolly roffle sorry

[Nicole]

I'm confused. It seems like in your first post your upset with the whole double standard of men sleeping around with no stigma yet girls who do are sluts etc..., but then later when you say this: "perhaps i'm not mad at the guys who do it, perhaps i'm mad at the girls who give it" it seems like your buying into that double standard. What exactly are you trying to say?

[Nodrog]

Originally Posted by Ragnarak

Ok we have different definitions of nice

I meant nice as in nice. Someone who was a nice person. Caring, considerate, compassionate. Not horrible.

none of these terms mean anything, sorry. It's like saying you are attracted to people who are "up for laugh" and "like to have fun", in that they are pointless cliches that are actually saying nothing.

[Embroglio]

sex can be special yet not be a big thing, aryn

[Aryn]

i haven't changed my opinion, i think guys who sleep around should also be concidered as sluts rather than being 'cool'

as for the nice thing... i'm with rag on this one.. can't you think of a better word for that nod?

[Nodrog]

I think guys who sleep around should be considered as guys who sleep around.

Originally Posted by Aryn

as for the nice thing... i'm with rag on this one.. can't you think of a better word for that nod?

yeah how about saying what you actually like/dislike about the person rather than resorting to meaningless cultural platitudes designed to save people from having to think about why they feel what they feel towards others.

[Ragnarak]

Originally Posted by Nodrog

none of these terms mean anything, sorry. It's like saying you are attracted to people who are "up for laugh" and "like to have fun", in that they are pointless cliches that are actually saying nothing.

When you realise you need muslim to come in and start arguing for you you've hit a new low.

Maybe the words don't have a specific meaning to you, but when i say someone is nice i know what that means. Nice was the best word i could think of to encompass all the little qualities that i find attractive but which aren't to do with having huge tits or being intelligent or funny.

[Aryn]

you know what i mean nod :P

i've heard convos with guys where the guys are total manwhores, and one will say 'how about her?' and the other will say 'hell no, she's a total slut!' when actualy the girl in question has slept with less guys than he has girls.

what's the difference?

[Ragnarak]

Originally Posted by Nodrog

yeah how about saying what you actually like/dislike about the person rather than resorting to meaningless cultural platitudes designed to save people from having to think about why they feel what they feel towards others.

Because i don't have a life time to spare to describe all the little ways in which i love my girlfriend.

[Nodrog]

So you've defined 'nice' to mean 'everything I like about my girlfriend, and other girls that I'm attracted to (other than having huge tits or being intelligent or funny)'. Do you think this actually means anything to anyone else, or that they can understand what youre talking about?

[Aryn]

nobody needs to understand what he's talking about though.

[Nodrog]

Originally Posted by Aryn

you know what i mean nod :P

i've heard convos with guys where the guys are total manwhores, and one will say 'how about her?' and the other will say 'hell no, she's a total slut!' when actualy the girl in question has slept with less guys than he has girls.

what's the difference?

The phrase "they are a slut" can mean different things in different contexts - for instance I think youve been using it to mean "He has different beliefs than me regarding sexual behaviour, therefore I choose to view him as being an inferior person", while in the example you quoted the guy probably means "I dont feel secure enough in myself to have a sexual partner who has slept with a lot of people, because I need to feel like I'm the only person she has ever been intimate with, rather than just the only person she is currently being intimate with". However, he could also mean something like "She has slept with a lot of people before, and I think this increases the liklihood of her cheating on me if we date, therefore I wont date her", or even "She's slept with a lot of people - maybe she has picked up an STD". It all depends on the person/context really - in some contexts it can even mean "She has only slept with one person, but that was my best friend and I wish it was me"

[Ragnarak]

nod with the ninja edit?

[Aryn]

see.. you're wrong in how you thought i meant it as.
the second definition fits better

and in the convo i used.. it probably meant the third meaning. though i still think it's funny, because the same reasoning could be applied to him.

ah well.

[Weeks]

Originally Posted by Nodrog

I've always seen nice as a negative term, as it is normally used to mean 'non-offensive', or more accurately, "lack of passion". How can you ever be attracted to a lack of passion, unless you are one of those broken people who have a fear of intense emotions?

I would agree. Being 'nice' sucks big time.

[Jennifer]

You're not a slut unless everyone gets to know about it.

Just tell them that if they don't keep their trap shut you won't sleep with them ever again.

If you're good enough in bed, this works.