A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest
when he comes upon a small house. He knocks on
the door and is greeted by an old Chinese man
with a long gray beard.
"I'm lost," said the man,
"Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but one
condition. If you so much as lay a finger on
my daughter I will inflict upon you the three
worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"OK," said the man, thinking that
the daughter must be pretty old as well,
and entered the house.
Over dinner the daughter came down the stairs.
She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body.
She was obviously attracted to the young man
as well, as she couldn't keep her eyes off of
him during the meal.
During the night he could bear it no longer
and snuck into her room for a night of passion
and then returned to his room satisfied.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest.
Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on
his chest with a note on it that read:
"Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."
"Well, that's easy," he thought. "If that's
the best the old man can do then I don't have
much to worry about." He picked the boulder up,
walked over to the window and threw it out.
As he did so, he noticed another note
on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2:
Rock tied to left testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw the
rope that was already getting close to taut.
Figuring that a few broken bones was better than
castration he jumped out of the window after the
boulder. As he plummeted toward the ground he saw
a large sign on the ground that read:
"Chinese Torture 3:
Right testicle tied to bed post."