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Unread 18 Jul 2005, 22:33   #1
Embroglio
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About my Canadian military expirience

Quote:
Look, it's no secret that the Canadian military is underfunded. I'm taking a bit of a risk in telling you any of this, but I figure it's a small risk and totally worth it.

So when we did training exercises, we used to have the right props. The grenades would make a thunderous boom, plenty of blanks to fire off (extra-loud), service knife, you name it. IN THEORY. They were gearing us up for a little wargame against the U.S., some crazy Army detachment, I don't know.

So there I was, lined up to get my grenades, and the QM (that's quartermaster) is smirking at me like something's up. He's all like, "Sorry kid, we're out," and I'm all like, "Well, how the hell am I gonna blow up some damnyanks then?" and he's all like, "Look, we don't wanna get any lawsuits if they get deafened, and, uhh, we're out too. So just make like you're pulling the pin, throw, and then whistle and yell KABOOM! They'll know and react appropriately."

So I'm grumpy alright, but whatever. I liked the knives. And you know, it was the same QM there, and he's all like, "Yeah, we don't want no knife-accidents, so we're not giving you one. It's not like you're gonna get in a knife fight in a modern war, right?" I'm looking kinda grumpy now, so he just goes, "Just make like you're stabbing and yell STABBETY STAB STAB! Works like a charm."

Well, what am I gonna do? I'm a grunt here. Shit. But at least I might get a few blanks, right? Wrong. Holy shit. I didn't even get a gun. It's that same QM in that line. And he goes, "Just yell BANGETY BANG-BANG! But try to be stingy, okay? Your target will know what to do."

Well, shit. But soon enough, we're out in the wargame, and I'm off in a scouting detachment. I'm kind of a sneaky mother****er, so it's not too long before I spot some yank trundling along, shuffling his feet. I flop down, take careful "aim", and "BANGETY BANG-BANG! BANG! BRAAAAAAK!"

Nothing. But I guess there was kind of a wind and he figured my bullets deviated or something, or maybe he got working body armour? Clever. So before I fell back, I "threw" a grenade. "tink. KABEWM!"

When I peeked up, he was still shuffling along, totally unphased. Goddamn, but he was one tough mother****er. I wasn't about to give up, though; I had all kinds of special forces dreams, so I just leaped off my hill and into a tree, slid down and then jumped right on this guy's back, "stabbing" away. "STAB! STABBETY! CUT YOU, ****ER!" Absolutely *nothing*. Man.

But then, I should have realized. Only this close could I hear his mumbling: "tank. tank. tank. tank. tank." I ran like hell.
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Unread 18 Jul 2005, 22:53   #2
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

Cute
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Unread 18 Jul 2005, 23:12   #3
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

Have you heard the one where the guys in the army have to make noises like they're firing their gun when they'r enot because THEY RAN OUT OF AMMO
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Unread 18 Jul 2005, 23:15   #4
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

because it's not like you can make blanks from normal rounds with a pair of pliars or anything...
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Unread 18 Jul 2005, 23:22   #5
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

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Originally Posted by vampire_lestat
because it's not like you can make blanks from normal rounds with a pair of pliars or anything...
So? What normal rounds?

Obviously normal rounds are easier to get hold of than blanks.
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Unread 18 Jul 2005, 23:24   #6
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

for the military of any country, yes they probably are. In somewhere like canada, where guns are legal, popping down to the local shop type thing and buying a few thousand rounds wouldn't be out of the question, and using some grunt to pull out the lead bullet and squeese shut the end wouldn't be too out of the question would it?
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Unread 18 Jul 2005, 23:27   #7
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

i think you'd be questioned anywhere if you just wanted to buy thousands of rounds :P
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Unread 18 Jul 2005, 23:31   #8
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

not if you were some high ranking military person with official ID et all.
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Unread 18 Jul 2005, 23:34   #9
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

hmm.. true. they probably just order them from the manufacturers though
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Unread 18 Jul 2005, 23:40   #10
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

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Originally Posted by vampire_lestat
for the military of any country, yes they probably are. In somewhere like canada, where guns are legal, popping down to the local shop type thing and buying a few thousand rounds wouldn't be out of the question, and using some grunt to pull out the lead bullet and squeese shut the end wouldn't be too out of the question would it?
If you can't afford blanks why would you be able to afford regular bullets AND a pair of pliars to convert them to blanks?
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Unread 18 Jul 2005, 23:44   #11
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

they are the military, so one would assume they could just take them.
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 00:23   #12
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Exclamation Re: About my Canadian military expirience

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Originally Posted by vampire_lestat
they are the military, so one would assume they could just take them.
Lacking ammunition they might find that rather difficult.

And isn't one of the reasons we have a military is so we're not looted by marauding armies?
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 00:52   #13
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

Quite amusing,

However being in the front line without ammo is a bit unfunny.

If I were to ask when was the last time a modern Army was ordered to fix bayonets and charge, most people would probably reply WWII or Korea?

In fact it was at Goose Green in the Falklands conflict, the Para's were under attack, and had run very low on ammo, the officer gave the order to fix bayonets and charge.

Scarey stuff to say the least.
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 02:12   #14
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

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Originally Posted by Judge
Quite amusing,

However being in the front line without ammo is a bit unfunny.

If I were to ask when was the last time a modern Army was ordered to fix bayonets and charge, most people would probably reply WWII or Korea?

In fact it was at Goose Green in the Falklands conflict, the Para's were under attack, and had run very low on ammo, the officer gave the order to fix bayonets and charge.

Scarey stuff to say the least.
actually, the most recent time would've been a few months ago in Iraq. Some squad (British) where attacking a couple of "insurgents" trenches and did a bayonet charge. I remember because The Sun made a huuuuge fuss over it. That and the squad were from my local regiment The PWRR (Princess Of Wales Royal Regiment)


PS "They don't like it up 'em!"
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 06:45   #15
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

Yum. Shish kabob with 'authentic' ingredients.
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 10:11   #16
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

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Originally Posted by Demon Dave
actually, the most recent time would've been a few months ago in Iraq. Some squad (British) where attacking a couple of "insurgents" trenches and did a bayonet charge. I remember because The Sun made a huuuuge fuss over it. That and the squad were from my local regiment The PWRR (Princess Of Wales Royal Regiment)


PS "They don't like it up 'em!"
But the knife jammed
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 13:08   #17
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

Emby for GD president.
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 13:58   #18
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

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Originally Posted by Demon Dave
actually, the most recent time would've been a few months ago in Iraq. Some squad (British) where attacking a couple of "insurgents" trenches and did a bayonet charge. I remember because The Sun made a huuuuge fuss over it. That and the squad were from my local regiment The PWRR (Princess Of Wales Royal Regiment)
I bet they kicked ass.
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 14:35   #19
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

Canada has an army?
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Unread 19 Jul 2005, 19:40   #20
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

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But the knife jammed
i've heard many stories about how the SA80s bayonet often just breaks off
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Unread 20 Jul 2005, 02:43   #21
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

Bah, you lot shouldnt complain. Australian Army soliders are issued with 8 rounds of ammunition a year - increased to 12 in wartime.

And you wonder why aussie soldiers are so good .
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Unread 20 Jul 2005, 02:59   #22
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Re: About my Canadian military expirience

During my times in the Marines we trained with life ammo on ranges and with blanks in war games. My favorite gun is the mod duce or M2. Oh and the automatic (machine gun) grenade launcher. I'm glad I never was in war. Man that seems so long ago now, like a different life altogether.
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