I've been called up for military service, ladies

[Tietäjä]

And I am due to take a health inspection ASAP, and fill up a ton of forms (actually, one form, but small print, and lots of check-in-boxes) and return them to the Finnish Military, with the health papers, in a few weeks time. September the 25th I am to report in a local sports center (ironic, heh), at 9:00 sharp, to receive details about my service in the Finnish army. Unless I report I am unable to serve in the military at this time of my life*, I will be given a date in 2004´ summer or 2005´ spring (July and January, respectively) when I am to report in the military area I'm being sent to serve in. If I have any wishes about my duty in the army, or the place where I wish to serve, I am to report them in the form given to me. Of course, I can avoid military service by taking the civil service, wich is considered dishonorable, and bad form around here - men are expected to serve in the military, and many firms give you points for having served well (officer ie.) in the military. Fun, ain't it?

*If I wish to push my military service, I must send then an application form, wich I don't have, ASAP (there's a date in the paper).

I also got a bucketfull of propaganda, stuff to read, they say. So, a pioneer, marine, ranger, or a pilot? Or a MP? Wich one do I wish to be?

Darn I love obligatory military service. It might be fun though.

[XeeThot]

Originally posted by Tietäjä
And I am due to take a health inspection ASAP, and fill up a ton of forms (actually, one form, but small print, and lots of check-in-boxes) and return them to the Finnish Military, with the health papers, in a few weeks time. September the 25th I am to report in a local sports center (ironic, heh), at 9:00 sharp, to receive details about my service in the Finnish army. Unless I report I am unable to serve in the military at this time of my life*, I will be given a date in 2004´ summer or 2005´ spring (July and January, respectively) when I am to report in the military area I'm being sent to serve in. If I have any wishes about my duty in the army, or the place where I wish to serve, I am to report them in the form given to me. Of course, I can avoid military service by taking the civil service, wich is considered dishonorable, and bad form around here - men are expected to serve in the military, and many firms give you points for having served well (officer ie.) in the military. Fun, ain't it?

*If I wish to push my military service, I must send then an application form, wich I don't have, ASAP (there's a date in the paper).

I also got a bucketfull of propaganda, stuff to read, they say. So, a pioneer, marine, ranger, or a pilot? Or a MP? Wich one do I wish to be?

Darn I love obligatory military service. It might be fun though.

GO for pilot, you'll expend most of you duty time learning while the officers fly, and after the military you can be a commercial pilot.

[menth0l]

I didn't know you were so young :}

Hajoo aamuihis

[meglamaniac]

Pilot clearly - so long as you pass the required health checks (20/20 vision, good blood pressure, etc).
Sounds the most fun out of them all.

[Judge]

You could always claim insanity, and would have a damn good case.

[xtrasyn]

Originally posted by Judge
You could always claim insanity, and would have a damn good case.

How would you know?

Idiot = yuo.

[Judge]

Originally posted by xtrasyn
How would you know?

Idiot = yuo.

The same way I know you cannot spell.

[leknu]

Originally posted by Tietäjä
...
Of course, I can avoid military service by taking the civil service, wich is considered dishonorable, and bad form around here - men are expected to serve in the military, and many firms give you points for having served well (officer ie.) in the military.
...

Correct term would be "civilian service" I guess... And and and you could always choose to totally refuse teh service and spend 6 months in jail instead

[menth0l]

Originally posted by Judge
The same way I know you cannot spell.

I've changed my mind. I don't want you to **** off. I want you to keep posting these nuggets of comedy for all eternity.

[Judge]

Originally posted by menth0l
I've changed my mind.

Who ever told you, you had a mind to change was lying

[Tietäjä]

Of course menth0l, how old DID you think I was, being a high-school kid? 25, eh?

Yes, it could be civilian service, wich is ****, and I don't want to sit in jail, wich is even more ****. Now, I could go for insanity wich would leave a permanent mark in my papers. Yes, that would be wise indeed.

Pilot sounds otherwise good, I'd get through the health and condition, I can do 3200 in cooper, but I'd have to serve in ****ing Lapland. And I live in Helsinki. That's 1000 kilometers.

MP Officer sounds good.

[xtrasyn]

Originally posted by Judge
The same way I know you cannot spell.

Then you are truly truly a grave idiot, that takes decisions primarily infused by what you see.

[sword]

If you charge through a crowded shopping centre with a sword hacking at passers-by, you will probably get out of doing the military service.

However, if you want to do the service, then I would suggest you chose an option that will enhance your prospects in whatever field you plan to chose after completion of duty.

Out of interest, what on earth is Finland doing with an army?

[menth0l]

Originally posted by sword

Out of interest, what on earth is Finland doing with an army?

Not attacking any random country that Bush tells us to, that's for sure.

Do you really want togo down this road?

[sword]

Originally posted by menth0l
Not attacking any random country that Bush tells us to, that's for sure.

Do you really want togo down this road?

Im still none the wiser, though I note from their web site they have a boat and a truck. Maybe Tietäjä could be stationed on one of them?

[menth0l]

Originally posted by sword
Im still none the wiser, though I note from their web site they have a boat and a truck. Maybe Tietäjä could be stationed on one of them?

I ask again: are you sure you want to start with this? It will be boring and ****.

[sword]

Originally posted by menth0l
I ask again: are you sure you want to start with this? It will be boring and ****.

You have a good point, lets talk about something else - Finland Army r0x0rs etc!!

[menth0l]

Originally posted by sword
You have a good point, lets talk about something else - Finland Army r0x0rs etc!!

Add sword to Your Ignore List <--looking real tempting.

[Snurx]

You get six months over there? Here, we just get 90 days, if we dont have a good reason, and its soo easy to slip throught..or at least, thats the word on the streets.
Just say you are a night-pisser (sheetwetter?) or that you like to smell on other guys poo.
Or, just say you have a problem whit authorothy.
Or something simmilar.

[xtrasyn]

Originally posted by menth0l
Add sword to Your Ignore List <--looking real tempting.

Oh, is he posting?

[Starbucks]

hey Judge

Thats some nice trolling there

hoep you got 10 bux lol

band

[Kumnaa]

why the **** do the Finnish have a military ? They are quite close to England. We need to invade to stop them using any weapons we dont want them to!

[elefant]

Originally posted by Tietäjä


I also got a bucketfull of propaganda, stuff to read, they say. So, a pioneer, marine, ranger, or a pilot? Or a MP? Wich one do I wish to be?

Darn I love obligatory military service. It might be fun though.

Try to get into some sort of el. warfare or wathever its is called, a friend of mine was in unit like that and all they did was to jam radars and communications, spy and playing Death metal over the "enemies" communications.

[Tietäjä]

Oh lord.

Sword, can you really be that dumb? Why do we need an army? No, there's no good reason for us to have an army, but hey, it's a tradition, and thus we have one. One could think that it's good to have SOME military in case of a conflict should emerge. We are neighbouring Russia, you know?

Now, as you started it, we're moving on to the British army. The British army is, presumably, five times larger than ours - make that ten times. Thus, it's budget drains a lot of funds. Now, what are the BRITS doing with an ARMY living in an ISLAND north of EUROPE, in the EASTERN EDGE of ATLANTIC OCEAN?

Afraid of Norwegians planning a raid on the English nation? Or, afraid of Americans planning on attacking Britain? Or, are the penguins a viable threat to the British wellfare? Or has the history taught the British people never to trust Germans? Oh, hell. The British army seems to exist purely for unprovoked offensive maneuvers. At least that's what the British Prime Minister in duty seems to think, drooling behind a baboon playing war. Pretty funny, ain't it? Now, if I don't recall incorrect, the UN grossly dislikes offensive warfare, especially the Brits, the Americans and the Australians are practicing in Iraq? Even if WE do have an ARMY, even if a SMALL one, in FINLAND, a relavitely SMALL but PEACEFUL, far from warmongering and bloodlusty, nation, with one of the worlds highest living standards (according to the human development index, HDI results, higher than the Britain), we DON'T use it to hunt shadows. At least hunt shadows because the big brother wants to do so.

By the way, the chem weapons plant the American soldiers found wasn't one after all. Maybe it was a mustard factory. Care to have some bacon or sausage with your mustard? Eh...

Yes, Kumnaa, you should plan an invasion here. Who knows if we have chemical weapons. Or nukes. I believe some of our festival foods may be concerned as biochemical weaponry there in Britain/US, the land of warmongering paranoids, eh?

Now, I did exaggerate a bit, and I deeply apologize every other British and American person excluding Sword, who, I believe, is Dutch. Darn, I should've noticed that before starting to attack the British system, but whattahell...

[sword]

Originally posted by Tietäjä

Snip

Crikey!!

/sword runs for cover

[Sandsnake]

For those not "in the know," Sword is never serious, touchy buggers.

And Tietäjä, look into each one...everything has SOME application to the outside world, but some (infantry etc) are only applicable in leadership skills and work ethic (unless ofc you decide to be a professional mercenary or something, in which case, you should check out Executive Decisions over in Africa...not sure if they're recruiting but hey! they always need new people in Africa since the attrition rate has to be horrendous :P)

[Slidey]

its a slow day in a crap job...

Originally posted by Tietäjä
Oh lord.

Sword, can you really be that dumb? Why do we need an army? No, there's no good reason for us to have an army, but hey, it's a tradition, and thus we have one. One could think that it's good to have SOME military in case of a conflict should emerge. We are neighbouring Russia, you know?

Now, as you started it, we're moving on to the British army. The British army is, presumably, five times larger than ours - make that ten times. Thus, it's budget drains a lot of funds. Now, what are the BRITS doing with an ARMY living in an ISLAND north of EUROPE, in the EASTERN EDGE of ATLANTIC OCEAN?

well it was quite handy having an army/navy/airforce (from hereon refered to as 'army') in the falklands..

the british army has also been called upon in parts of the world such as the former yugoslavia amongst other places

snip

ill pretend you didnt say all that crap. although i dislike tony blairs european policies he's got his iraqi one right

Now, if I don't recall incorrect, the UN grossly dislikes offensive warfare, especially the Brits, the Americans and the Australians are practicing in Iraq?

whats worse, a dictator from a minority who kidnaps, tortures or kills his own people, or an 'offensive' force that removes that dictator?

Even if WE do have an ARMY, even if a SMALL one, in FINLAND, a relavitely SMALL but PEACEFUL, far from warmongering and bloodlusty, nation, with one of the worlds highest living standards (according to the human development index, HDI results, higher than the Britain), we DON'T use it to hunt shadows. At least hunt shadows because the big brother wants to do so.

yawn. armies also do things like help stop the drug trade in colombia (at least the uk one does, finland?). The uk is never gonna get the highest hdi due to the size of the country, the fact that we have so many immigrants coming in per year and the fact that theres so little industrial jobs (not an exhaustive list)

By the way, the chem weapons plant the American soldiers found wasn't one after all. Maybe it was a mustard factory. Care to have some bacon or sausage with your mustard? Eh...

what has finland ever done to try and get rid of chemical/biological weapons? or do you condone the usage of them on innocents?

Yes, Kumnaa, you should plan an invasion here. Who knows if we have chemical weapons. Or nukes. I believe some of our festival foods may be concerned as biochemical weaponry there in Britain/US, the land of warmongering paranoids, eh?

Now, I did exaggerate a bit, and I deeply apologize every other British and American person excluding Sword, who, I believe, is Dutch. Darn, I should've noticed that before starting to attack the British system, but whattahell...

yawn

apologies for hte lack of sources etc. cba

[Pineapple]

Do they make really really fat people do service?

[Structural Integrity]

Going in the military is for losers. Real cool people sit at home behind the computer, drink coke, grow fat and harass people on the internet

[Ditcher]

Do they make really really fat people do service?

Yes. But they get b or c class rating. = even more boring service time. B class starts at around 100kg or so....

[Deffeh]

not having military service is the #1 perk of living in scotland

Cue "your not a man until you do pointless strength related tasks" response.

[Dead_Meat]

Originally posted by Deffeh
not having military service is the #1 perk of living in scotland

This doesn't exactly make me want to move to Scotland, it has to be said...

Cue "your not a man until you do pointless strength related tasks" response.

HAH !

[Tzencath]

Originally posted by Tietäjä
Afraid of Norwegians planning a raid on the English nation?

well, they've done it before, so they're bound to do it again, so we better declare war just in case...

[Texan]

So, a pioneer, marine, ranger, or a pilot? Or a MP?

There must be more choices than that. What are the other choices you have? Also, pioneer doesn't really sound like a military job. What does a pioneer do?

[Sandsnake]

my guess is he's looking for the word Engineer.

[Ditcher]

Actually there is not a choice except for in which brigade to do the service. And inside them they basically pick someone there and other here. Of course we can give our own oppinion but "surprisingly" that doesnt weight too much. Oh and paratroopers and some other special unit people are selected via applications and tests.

[Gayle29uk]

Originally posted by Texan
What does a pioneer do?

Pick and shovel soldier. Lowest of the low.

[Leshy]

"So, what'd you do during Military Service?"
- "I was in pilot training. Had to do a lot of study, clean airplanes and stuff, and I got to fly a bit in the end. How about you?"
"I was with the ARMY RANGERS."

It just sounds better. What do they do anyway?

[Deffeh]

Originally posted by Dead_Meat
This doesn't exactly make me want to move to Scotland, it has to be said...

i should hope not.

Its no wonder scotland has a declining population.

[Bunga]

Move to Sweden dude. SUure, they call you to mönstring, but since only 30-40% get accepted and actually do time in the army, you'll be safe. I got out, blamed it on astma, which I don't have. They didn't even check.

[GavGull]

Army Rangers.

[Pi-air]

Originally posted by Sandsnake
For those not "in the know," Sword is never serious, touchy buggers.

And Tietäjä, look into each one...everything has SOME application to the outside world, but some (infantry etc) are only applicable in leadership skills and work ethic (unless ofc you decide to be a professional mercenary or something, in which case, you should check out Executive Decisions over in Africa...not sure if they're recruiting but hey! they always need new people in Africa since the attrition rate has to be horrendous :P)

Did they change names, thought they were called Executive Outcomes?

Oh and on a sidenote, merc work can easily be found in London..

[Chrism]

Originally posted by Tietäjä
Now, as you started it, we're moving on to the British army. The British army is, presumably, five times larger than ours - make that ten times. Thus, it's budget drains a lot of funds. Now, what are the BRITS doing with an ARMY living in an ISLAND north of EUROPE, in the EASTERN EDGE of ATLANTIC OCEAN?

Afraid of Norwegians planning a raid on the English nation? Or, afraid of Americans planning on attacking Britain? Or, are the penguins a viable threat to the British wellfare? Or has the history taught the British people never to trust Germans?

Go read some history, specifically April to June 1982. That's one reason why we need an army.

[Dante Hicks]

Originally posted by Chrism
Go read some history, specifically April to June 1982. That's one reason why we need an army.

Yes, I'm so glad my taxes go on keeping a few insane sheep farmers safe on the Malvinas.

ffs, they could have given everyone living there huge sums of money and they could have all bought mansions in Buenos Aries.

You might be able to justify having the army for Northern Ireland (hardly though), but the idea of keeping fifty thousand men under arms (or whatever it is) for protecting a stupid unjustified outpost thousands of miles away is insane.

[Chrism]

It's somewhere between 3 and 5K I think in the Falklands. And the defeat helped bring down the junta, saving thousands of lives. I'd say it was worth it.

[Texan]

Originally posted by Leshy
"So, what'd you do during Military Service?"
- "I was in pilot training. Had to do a lot of study, clean airplanes and stuff, and I got to fly a bit in the end. How about you?"
"I was with the ARMY RANGERS."

It just sounds better. What do they do anyway?

Rangers are basically elite infantrymen. They are somewhere between infantry and special forces.

I was an Army journalist.

[Dante Hicks]

Originally posted by Chrism
It's somewhere between 3 and 5K I think in the Falklands. And the defeat helped bring down the junta, saving thousands of lives. I'd say it was worth it.

I was referring to the army in general. You said that one of the reasons we needed the army was the Falklands.

Also, the Junta would have fallen anyway. The esteem of the military was certainly wounded by the Falklands, but the decline had already occurred (due to economic downturn, etc) way before.

Still, even if that was the case, it's a dodgy reason for having an army. We shouldn't even be in posession of the Malvina's, as far as I can see. If we're justifying that in terms of "We helped deal with unsavoury third world regime" then we may as well annex part of China...

[Chrism]

Originally posted by Dante Hicks
We shouldn't even be in posession of the Malvina's, as far as I can see.

Why, might I ask?

Edit: anyone who trots out the crap we somehow stole them off Argentina can go jump off a cliff.

[W]

A country that does not have the capability to defend itself, is not a country.

[LISELOTTE]

go civil service... you dont have to prove youve got a penis by learning murder!