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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 12:35   #1
Gayle29uk
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Coulde this be...
...the most revolting joke ever?

A guy with leprosy wins tickets to see the World Series. But when he gets there, he has trouble finding a seat because pieces
of him are peeling and flaking off, and he's very concerned about grossing out the other fans. The leper wanders through the bleachers looking for seat where his grotesque appearance won't disturb anyone.

Finally, he finds an open seat where he might be
able to watch the game. He asks the man in the adjoining seat if it would be okay to sit there. The man answers, "Yeah. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game." The leper sits down and adds, "As you can see, I have leprosy. If it disturbs you, I will move."

"It doesn't bother me. Just shut up, and watch the game.". A while later, during the fourth inning, the man suddenly vomits. Frothy beer, hot dogs, and peanuts are splattered everywhere.
Seeing this, the leper gets up and says, "Thank you for allowing me to sit next to you, but I can see that my appearance has
caused you to get sick. I will find another place to sit."
"It's NOT you. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game."
So the leper sits back down. But during the sixth inning, the man begins to vomit again. This time it is projectile vomitus. A
powerful blast of beer and pretzels shoots out from the man's mouth and nose until his stomach is completely emptied.
Seeing this, the leper gets up and says, "Thank you for allowing me to sit next to you, but I can see that my appearance has
caused you to get sick. I will find another place to sit."
"Really, it's NOT you.... just sit down, shut up, and watch the game."

So the leper sits back down. But during the seventh inning, the man begins to vomit again. This time it is the dry heaves. The
leper feels absolutely awful at the sight of this man suffering. And once again, the leper offers to leave.

But the man insists, "Really, it's NOT you."

So the leper asks, "Well, if it's not me that is making you so sick, then what is it?"

"It's that guy behind you ... He keeps dipping his nachos in your back!"
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Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 12:37   #2
pablissimo
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pablissimo has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.pablissimo has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.pablissimo has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.pablissimo has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.pablissimo has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.pablissimo has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.pablissimo has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.pablissimo has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.pablissimo has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.pablissimo has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.pablissimo has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Heh, I actually laughed.

Good pub joke, that. I shall have to remember it
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 12:39   #3
Nicole
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That was upsetting
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 12:40   #4
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Quote:
Originally posted by pablissimo
Heh, I actually laughed.

Good pub joke, that. I shall have to remember it
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 12:41   #5
Leshy
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Disgusting.
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 12:42   #6
Evil Skragg
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NAARRRSSSSTTTYYY

but i lolled all the same. nice one!
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 12:43   #7
Gayle29uk
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Quote:
Originally posted by Leshy
Disgusting.
I've always maintained the 'spittoon joke' was the foulest thing ever till I got sent this one
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Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 13:12   #8
Evil Skragg
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Plz Post Spittoon joke, or a link to it.
plllzzzzzz!!!!!
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 13:27   #9
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bah, gayle, now i can't finish my coffee.
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 13:33   #10
Gayle29uk
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Quote:
Originally posted by Evil Skragg
Plz Post Spittoon joke, or a link to it.
plllzzzzzz!!!!!
Two cowboys were drinking at the bar in a saloon out in West Texas. One of them was chewing tobacco and spat in the spittoon. The other cowboy said, "Tell you what. I'll bet you $50 that you won't take a sip out of the spittoon that you just spit in." The other cowboy said, "I'll take that bet," and he picked up the spittoon while everyone else in the bar crowded round to watch. He lifted the large, heavy spittoon up to his mouth looked down at the swirling mess of tobacco juice, spit, snot and blood then put it to his lips. He tilted it slightly and started to swallow, people were retching all round him and several even threw up it was so foul. He drank more, then more until he finally had drank all of the contents. The cowboy who had initiated the wager said, "Man! Here's your fifty bucks! Wow! I would have paid you to just take a sip, which is what the bet was. Why did you drink the whole thing?" The other cowboy replied, "I tried to take a sip but I couldn't. It was all stuck together."
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ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy
schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit
spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das
rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 15:11   #11
Christian
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I wonder what the origin of these perverted jokes is.
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 18:03   #12
Deffeh
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deffeh in usual "unable to suspend disbelief" shocker

you need to alter the joke enough so that people dont feel sorry for the leper.




oh no wait, its just me
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 18:13   #13
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I cringed at that.
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 18:59   #14
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That joke was awesome!
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 19:27   #15
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I found the spittoon one funnier, neither of them particularly disgusted me though :/
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 19:47   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by WorkMonkey
what kind of word is "Coulde"
What are you? The forums local English teacher?

Heav Yuo evah Hurd of teh word "TAYPO" ????

Nitpicker!
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 19:51   #17
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For those of you who don't "get" it
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 20:03   #18
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That took you quite long to brew that up.... I hope you don't mind me saying that I expected something better for the time that it took.
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Unread 7 Feb 2003, 20:27   #19
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OH MY GOD lol
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