POT Voting.

[Marilyn Manson]

Roll Up Roll Up. Chinamen out.

http://pirate.planetarion.com/showpo...36&postcount=2

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

Whenever someone goes to the toilets, everyone has to race to put their willy in that person's drink. The last person in has to drink it.

http://pirate.planetarion.com/showthread.php?t=183919

Originally Posted by Leshy

Sweet Baby Jesus. I have seen a pic of TomKat in a Flintstones outfit. I now envision him swinging the door open in a tiger skin shouting "Welcome to the Love Palace!".


I am not getting any sleep tonight.

http://pirate.planetarion.com/showpost.php?p=2843873

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

Don't blame it on the posters,

Don't blame it on the Manson,

Don't blame it on the good times,

Blame it on the Yahwe.

http://pirate.planetarion.com/showpo...99&postcount=9

Originally Posted by Dace

This one time at work is said "f*cking c*nt" quite loudly without realising it and when i did realise what i'd done i wished i had an edit button but alas they don't exist in real life.

http://pirate.planetarion.com/showpo...5&postcount=20

Originally Posted by Treveler

chav
Regional variations

charver, scalley, ned, chor.

A social underclass par excellence. The absolute dregs of modern civilization, each one a near clone in IQ (the lowest possible whilst still exhibiting brain stem function), attitude, diet, dress sense, uselessness, abusiveness and complete lack of any sense of decorum.

Likely to be found in congregations outside McDonalds, endlessly smoking cheap cigarettes whilst sporting burberry clothes, masses of cheap 9ct gold jewelry from Argos/Index, baseball caps worn at 90 degrees. Female chavs can be identified from their hair, invariably worn pulled back into the tightest possible configuration and secured with at least 5 "scrunchies".

Unable to converse in any high form of language and too lazy to communicate the limited vocabulary they have properly.

The only good chav is dead one. The only thing better than that is a mass grave full of dead chavs and a 24 hour work crew making way for more...
whodya think your'e lookin at? Ah'll batter ya, y' f***in' div!

(then runs to get older brother at first sign of trouble)

chav
a slag who is always pushing a buggy with screaming kids and she's swearing at them in a scrubby common accent, she will have a cigerette in her hand, she will have acne at 25, permed hair, herpes, will wear rings on every finger and a loads of cheap necklaces most common of these has a doll on it. they wear huge massive gold loop earing which they put their ankles behind when they are having sex so that their legs don't get tired.

chav
Emerging British subculture which is quickly becoming an epidemic. Chavs can be found the length and breadth of the country, hanging around any junk food outlet, off licence or just hanging around the streets, where they pass the time by vandalising property, drinking cheap cider, shouting abuse at passers by and terrorising old people.

Appearance: Chavs have a strict dress code. Designer labels are everything, although knocked off/fake items are almost de-rigeur. Typically, the male chav will wear a Nickelson or Schott hooded top, baggy tracksuit trousers, white designer trainers, and a baseball cap by burberry or Nike. The female chav (chavette) will have peroxide blonde hair scrunched so tight into a pony tail with colourful scrunchies that her forehead stretches. She will wear a dark blue tracksuit with white stripes, an enormous puffa jacket, hoop earrings, and white trainers. Female chavs are forbidden from wearing socks, and all chavs must wear as much fake gold jewellery as they can fit on their bodies. Mobiles are an added status symbol, and when equipped, the chav must shout into it in the most anti-social way possible, using at least one expletive and the word "innit" per second. Every other word in between should be unrecognisable to non-chavs.

Cars: Typically the Vauxhall Nova, but could include Ford Escort/Orion, Vauxhall Astra, and for chavs with "bling", even a totally shagged 3 series BMW. Whatever the type of car, it must have a spoiler shaped plank of MDF nailed to the back, 20" alloy wheels which rub on the wheel arches over every bump, a badly fitted bodykit (extra points for being able to see EXACTLY where the car ends and bodykit starts), a lairy paint job with runs in it, exhaust pipes the size of the space shuttle's booster nozzles, and blue LED's on the washer jets. Neon undercar lighting is also desirable.

Attitude: The chav's attitude depends heavily on the number of mates backing him up. If he's on his own, he'll skulk along anonymously. In numbers, he'll challenge anyone to anything.

chav
chav (noun)- 1 Anyone wearing any kind of burberry clothing 2 A youth usually, although not neccessarily in his or her teens who has an undying belief that they are the hardest and coolest individual to have ever walked this planet. The male chav is distinguishable by his birght colours and imitaion gold jewellry which he uses to attract chavettes (see next). Any eye contact will be met with a tirade of abuse assuming the chav is with his herd. 3 Chavette A female chav who is distinguishable by the use of earings resting on her shoulders, very innapropriate clothing, and a pram. Chavettes are very rarely seen on their own and prefer to hang around with the dominant chav in their herd, usually the father of their child. 4 Chavish the dialect of the chav. Believing that he is a bad boy gangsta rapper, the chav or chavette will converse with others in a secrect language. Scientists have been working for years on trying to decipher chavish but to no avail. Other than swear words that you will manage to pick out, you will not understand any of this tirade; simply assume its not pleasant and probably involves your parents and a dog. (see example)
ere dean wats that nigga lookin at-ee is ganna get a beatin-dere be blood on da floor man. oi faggot you startin or wha? yo mumma got banged up by ma dog hoe.

chav
Picture this a young lad about 12 years of age and 4 ½ feet high baseball cap at ninety degrees in a imitation addidas tracksuit, with trouser legs tucked into his socks (of course, is definitely the height of fashion). This lad is strutting around, fag in one hand jewellery al over the over, outside McDonalds acting as if he is 8 foot tall and built like a rugby player, when some poor unsuspecting adult (about 17/18) walks round the corner wanting to go to mcdonalds for his dinner glances at the young lad, the young lad jumps up in complete disgust and says “Whats your problem? Wanna make sommin of it? Bling Bling” when the adult starts to walk towards the young lad, the young lad pisses himself and runs off to either his pregnant 14-year-old girlfriend or his brother in the army crying his eyes out.
My mate has become a chav what can i do? answer is shoot him before it is too late

http://pirate.planetarion.com/showpo...4&postcount=24

Originally Posted by Dace

The last time i took GD's advice concerning women i got her so drunk that nothing happened

http://pirate.planetarion.com/showpo...51&postcount=7

Originally Posted by TomKat

I'll tell you all a story.

The worst night of my life

This was with my ex-girlfriend.

We had been together about 9-10 months, and she was visiting me for a week (long distance thing).

Anyway, her and I and lots of my friends went to this club.

It was a special night - Vodbull. Double Vodka + Red Bull for £1.

So we started playing drinking games.

My ex wasn't a big drinker anyway, so it went straight to her head.

So come midnight, we were both falling all over the place.

At about 12:30am or so, she rushed out of the front door (luckily we were near it) and vomitted all over the pavement.

I got my coat from the cloakroom, and hers, and then went out with her.

We got a taxi home.




This is where the story "begins"

We went up to my bedroom and got into bed.

Now as we were both very drunk, we were both pretty horny.

At some point though, both of us passed out. I don't know how long for, but I'm pretty sure it happened.

I woke up (5 minutes? an hour?) later and proceeded to commence foreplay.

She was awake-ish, as she rubbed against me and murmured etc.

Anyway, I moved my hand down to her crotch area.

Without being too graphic, I'll just say that I commenced foreplay down there.

I'd like to reiterate I was drunk here.

So I took the next step, and decided to "try something new".

I moved up to her bum, with my finger(s).

I started playing around there. She seemed to like it (I don't really remember).

Anyway, I took the "next logical step".

With my penis.

In her bottom (oooh er).

I'd never had anal sex before, and neither had she. She seemed to be enjoying it though, as she was rocking back against me.



After a minute or two of this, she mumbled/said "Let's have sex properly"

So with great reluctance, I pulled out, and got out of bed to fetch a condom from my drawer.

Now I should emphasise the fact it was pretty much pitch black in my room all the way through this.

I couldn't find a damn condom, but I knew they were there.

I turned on the light.

I'll never forget what I saw.

My hands, my penis, the bedsheet, all covered in blood.

I just went "Oh Fuuuuuck".

She had her eyes closed and didn't really know what was going on.

I first thought that it must have been that she was on some kind of weird explosive period or something.

Then I realised what it was.

I'd ripped her anus when having sex, to the point where it was bleeding horribly.



Apparently it didn't hurt her at all, and she didn't have any discomfort the next day or anything.

She did say "Let us never speak of this again" though, the next day.

I'll never forget that moment when I turned on the light though. It's stuck in my memory all this time.

Yep. Worst night of my life.

So remember kids, use lube.

http://pirate.planetarion.com/showpo...8&postcount=40

Originally Posted by KaneED

Since you didn't tell it, I thought I would.

So me and my girlfriend had just been out drinking, and we'd had a couple of tabs so we were randy and hyper and had been touching each other up in the cab on the way home. Because my house is on a long drive, the cab refused to take us up there so on the way, we had a bit of a fumble, she only had a short skirt on so I bent her over while she leaned against the fence and licked her pussy and her ass. She came pretty quickly, but she omplained about being cold, so she dragged me up the drive into our house.

We got in, and none of the lights were on so we assumed no one was awake. She ripped my clothes off, literally, and pushed me done onto the sheepskin rug we have in our living room and thens he slipped me inside of her. She was having a good time riding on time of me so I leaned forward a little and stuck a couple of fingers up her ass. She started making really loud noises, and forced me to put another finger in, then another, and fianlly my whole fist up her ass. She was yelling for Holland but we were both so pissed we couldn't have given a ****.

She had came a couple of times, when I felt a hand lift my fist out of her ass, assuming it was hers I let it go. Thens he starts oo'ing and aah'ing, and I feel some hands grab my hands and some loud obviously male grunting. I got quite into it and started to feel around and this guy had a hairy chest, which I quite like in men. I'm not gay, but I was enjoying this and being so pissed I figured what the hell. Anyway, I got off on my girlfriend being done by two men, and by the guy feeling me up on the other side of my girlfriend. We all came together really loudly, and I saw some lights go on in the hall.

Anyway, we all stopped, and quickly hid behind the sofa. It was my mum who must have been sleepwalking or something because she went straight intot he kitchen without saying a word. She obviously hadn't noticed any of our clothes all over the floor, luckily. While she in the kitchen, the hairy guy started giving me a handjob, then I felt the warmth of his mouth on my cock. While he was giving me, my girlfriend was jerking him off. I cringe now, but then it really turned me on and I came and he swallowed. My girlfriend was doing a really good job, and the man grabbed my head and stuck his dick in my mouth and came so hard it hit the back of my throat, and he was so froceful he made me swallow.

We all fell asleep after that, and when we woke up in the morning, I saw the man who I had had my 'encounter' with. Turns out it was a local plumber who we had had around before. He was 60 years old.

I could have killed myself for that

http://pirate.planetarion.com/showpo...94&postcount=3

Originally Posted by Alki

hahaha, when i was 7 in primary school me and this girl attempted to have sex after seeing it on tv. thinkin about it, it was a pretty funny situation considering we had nfi what to do^^

http://pirate.planetarion.com/showpo...0&postcount=18

Originally Posted by Dead_Meat

<Passer-By> Hello pram, where are all your toys?
<Pram> I don't know, but I suspect that someone has taken them by the hand and thrown them, bodily, out of me.
<Passer-By> Gosh, how awful.
<Pram> Yes.

[Marilyn Manson]

Bahahaha got you that time.

[NEWSBOT3]

POT eh

[Marilyn Manson]

Somebody stole our W.

[Leshy]

You also stole my entry. Just because it wasn't on GD.

I demand SilverSmoke repost it somewhere this week on GD in applicable context

[Marilyn Manson]

Originally Posted by Leshy

You also stole my entry. Just because it wasn't on GD.

Leshy, this is not 'Nam. This is POTW. There are rules.

[Nodrog]

I dont vote in these normally but all of DMs posts in that thread were excellent so I'm going to go for it!

[Treveler]

I would just like to point out that I didn’t credit it before I had the chance as I was at work. And to me it seemed pretty bloody obvious that it was "stolen" as it was 4-5 different definitions written in 4-5 different writing styles.

You can call me a fool but not a bloody thief who steals someone’s “definition” to look cool on the Internet. Not exactly my style.

[Tomkat]

It's alright Trev, I don't think anyone here thought you wrote all of that out.

I didn't write out any of my "Chav Jokes" the other week either

[Leshy]

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

Leshy, this is not 'Nam. This is POTW. There are rules.

Unlike TomKat's penis, surely rules can be bent?

[JonnyBGood]

I am severely disappointed that this thread wasn't started off with the comment "what, no W?"

[Cannon_Fodder]

well MM did reply to his own post first, so it doesnt count..

[Demon Dave]

Originally Posted by Leshy

Unlike TomKat's penis, surely rules can be bended?

it's actually "bent" dear. could this possibly be the first time that leshy has made an english mistake? :eek:

[Androme]

he is dutch afterall and only sub-human who is incable of rendering complete perfection when it comes to e-typing - e-flatuence however, is of no problem

[Leshy]

Originally Posted by Demon Dave

it's actually "bent" dear. could this possibly be the first time that leshy has made an english mistake? :eek:

It's not nearly the first time, nor will it likely be the last time

Thanks for pointing it out, though!

[1-X]

Leshy isn't wrong!

Bended is acceptable, though bent is more commonly used. (Most dictionaries will list bended as an archaic past participle of bend, used mostly when referring to the back or knees.)

[roadrunner_0]

as in the sentence 'upon bended knee'

[Leshy]

Oh right. I can live with archaic.















Dead_Meat does!

[Marilyn Manson]

btw, does anyone else have the sneaking feeling that there is some degree of fraud involved in Kane's account of his post-midnight romp?

[1-X]

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

btw, does anyone else have the sneaking feeling that there is some degree of fraud involved in Kane's account of his post-midnight romp?

MM in 'missing the obvious' shocker?

He was creatively expanding Theamion's vague post of "Girlfriend, foreplay, sex, livingroom, plumber, mother, surprised, blanket, almost caught, dirty old man, swallow, sleep, clothes all over the room."

[Marilyn Manson]

If you think I'm actually going to start reading the threads as well as deleting and closing them then you've got another thing coming.

[queball]

I don't "get" DM's post.

[Blastoderm]

Pot Voting.

I don't see a pot.

Nor a pot head.

[Dead_Meat]

That's because you're thick and ugly.

[Blastoderm]

Are you a pot head?

[Marilyn Manson]

Originally Posted by Blastoderm

Nor a pot head.

http://pirate.planetarion.com/member...oster&t=183787

[Dead_Meat]

Originally Posted by Blastoderm

Are you a pot head?

I wasn't talking to you.

[Weeks]

I've just seen the glory that is the Dace-has-an-STD thread. Impressed, I am.

[Blastoderm]

Originally Posted by Dead_Meat

I wasn't talking to you.

Well make it clear old man!

[Demon Dave]

oh, another week where i can't decide

[Alki]

i cant remember sharing that info o_0

[pig]

Originally Posted by Tomkat

It's alright Trev, I don't think anyone here thought you wrote all of that out.

I didn't write out any of my "Chav Jokes" the other week either

you didnt :/ i thought that was all your own work :/

[Tomkat]

I knew there'd be an upside to that horrible event in my life.

(which was, of course, regaling it to some internet people and then winning POTW)

[Marilyn Manson]

Young Thomas wins! Hurrah!