The star ship Idiot

[Demon Dave]

*DD runs after Wo2 and ginge waving his piece of paper wildly at him*

"NOOOO WAIT!!! i've got a plan too!!!!!!!! it's really good..."

[Wo2]

*blink*

"Um... ok."

*Wo2 began to pull out stuff from his overalls while they ran. He poured varios chemicals and threw in odd items, into a bottel. In moments the bottel began to glow and then it was eaten away form the inside, causing the odd liquid to hit the floor and eat through three decks."

"Uhhh... Well there I tried it."

[Evil_Ginge]

ok obviously that plan needs some refine ments, so DD whats your plan?

[Demon Dave]

*DD looks at the hole in the floor for a minute, then back at ginge*

"Well it's quite simple really, and will require a large amount of explosives"

[Evil_Ginge]

"what do you intend to do with these explosives?"

[Demon Dave]

"well we can't get into the computer control room because the door's locked, right? so, all we have to do is just blow it open!"

[Wo2]

*Twitch*

"That'll make a mess..."

[Demon Dave]

*DD looks at Wo2, grinning and with an evil glint in his eye*

"Yeeeess. Won't it just"

[Breezer]

*Breezer wanders oblivious to all the comotion until the comes to the rec room. He finds some reruns of "Alf", puts them into the video player, and sets all the video screens on the ship to play it.*

[Evil_Ginge]

*turns to wo2*

"well you must get a thrill out fo cleaning to be a janitor on this starship"

*turns back to DD*

"well we should expect anything and everything when that door blows open so expect robots and all other sorts of silly creation"

[flapjack]

*flapjack activates the computer core automated defense system from engineering, flapjack then disconnects the engines and heads up to the bridge, where he sets the engines for all ahead full and Ludicrious speed*

*flapjack then heads back down to engineering and prepares to reconnect the wires*

[Evil_Ginge]

*quickly gets to a computer port and seals off engineering with high strength forcefields and locks flapjack completely out of the system*

[flapjack]

*flapjack disconnects the wiring for the forcefields and connects the wiring for the engines, sending them lurching forward at ludicrious speed with the interia dampeners offline (everybody knows those things go offline every time you need them)*

[Evil_Ginge]

:: turns the engines off by voice command and gets to a panel where he teleports flapjack to a holding cell where no matter what he does he cannot get out ::


"man this was so much easyer when i did it by thought command"

:: stands up from where he was thrown and waits for DD ::

[okiN]

*okiN looks at a nearby TV screen, and blinks. The images he sees on the flickering, glowing screen conjure up repressed memories of a ruined childhood, and he goes into a trance. The vision of a fat, furry creature with a wrinkly snout, an annoying voice and a seemingly inexhaustable supply of really, really, bad jokes that had driven him to the brink of madness when he was a child finally takes a good run for momentum and kicks him straight in the arse as hard as it can, sending him hurtling over the edge and into the bottomless pit of insanity. okiN grabs his knife and assaults the TV set. He hops up, grabs onto it with his left hand, pulls himself up so he can face his enemy head on, then drives the knife through the screen, shattering it and sending lots of shining, little shards of glass flying away and they tinkle loudly as they hit the floor. okiN suffers a nasty electrical shock upon driving a metal object into an electrical device while holding it with his bare, sweaty hand. He is also afflicted with some rather deep cuts on his hand by the sharp edges of the hole in the screen. This only serves to fuel his primal rage, however, and he continues to dismantle the set, severing the power line to avoid any further risk of electrocution. As the image of Alf no longer haunts him, he returns to his normal state. Feeling fuzzy, nauseous, and totally oblivious to the happenings of the last fifteen seconds, okiN lets go of the wreck of the TV set, falling down to the floor. As he hits it, he lands on lots of nasty, pointy little glass shards and pieces of the destroyed set, and lets out a yelp of surprise and pain. He gets to his feet and steps away from amidst the wreckage, notices that his back and hand are bleeding, and the latter feels sort of funny and looks like it's been burned as well. okiN starts to look for an aid station*

[Evil_Ginge]

*Smiles to himself*

"okiN, alf is on the ship ,currently going by the name of flapjack"

[okiN]

*okiN hears a strange message addressed to him on the PA system. Even in his blurred state he is capable of making the distinction between Alf and flapjack. However, upon hearing the name of this vile being, Alf, he is driven into an aggressive rage again and he jumps up towards the nearest speaker, grabs it with both his hands, hoists himself up and swings his legs up as well, planting his feet firmly on the wall. He then proceeds to pull with his hands as hard as he can, simultaneously pushing his feet into the wall with all his might. This results in the speaker coming loose from the wall and okiN launching himself down at the floor with some speed. He hits it head first and loses conciousness*

[Evil_Ginge]

"he is in disguise, look at the footage"

*the screen next to okin flares alive and shows alf pushing a button on his wrist and after shimmering a bit looks exactly like flapjack*

[Demon Dave]

*DD peels himself off of the wall where he had been thrown by the engines and stands up. After a couple of minutes, DD composes himself and remembers what he was doing before being so rudly interrupted*

"Robots and things eh? nothing a couple of EMP grenades can't fix"

[NightGod]

Ooooh my head I hate waking up, hmm, seem to be somewhere else to when I fell asleep. 'Consults Computer' I just found out that I woke up to find myself on the SS Idiot, I'm not meant to be on this ship for another week, 'consults computer' I just found out that the drugs I was taking knocked me out for a very very long time so long in fact the SS Idiot hadn't finished construction but now I'm here on the SS Idiot with a crew who frequent the bridge as often as men visit the nail bar, and as far away as women can get from doing the DIY (half the universe), and the crew seem to be on the same level as a sim.

Well I'll just go for a stroll and see if I can find my way out of the infirmary and find the galley I have the munchies real bad.

[Evil_Ginge]

"excellent thinking DD where can we get such equipment?"

[Breezer]

*Breezer notes, under the plasma screen TV, a big red button closed in a glass case. The case is locked, but someone left the key in the lock. He opens it, and is just about to push the button that says "Virtual TV" when the epidode of alf ends. Fortunately, another one comes on, as it is "The 100 Best epidodes of Alf". He pushes the button and the whole ship is projected into a living epidode of Alf. The ship appears to all aboard as Alf's home, instead of a space ship, as the holographic projectors were programmed into the very walls of the spaceship. Breezer looks around and sees himself in Alfs living room, and runs off in terror, not knowing where Alf could be hiding*

[NightGod]

I can't take this now the ship seems to have changed, first I wake up years after a party on a ship with the hangover from hell and now my surroundings have changed, its just like watching Alf all over again. God I HATED that program, that annoying little alien arghhhhhh.

*Night God runs trying to get away*

[Wo2]

*Wo2 sees A giant Alf approaching him and makes a note at how hideously dirty the creature seems. He whips out some more ingredents and makes his home made cleaning soultion once more. This time he throws the bottel at the Gaint Alf infront of him. The higly acidic soultion begins to eat through the wall and then does something strange, it shorts the projectors on that deck and causes it to flash many, bright, seizure, causing coulors. Wo2 begins to twitch spasmadicly and jerks visscoulsly down the hall, waving his broom about and spray Windex (TM) at things and people.*

[Demon Dave]

*DD is suddenly taken aback when the entire ship changes form to some old tv show. DD is even more surprised when the whole thing starts to flash with bright colours, and, to add to his amazment, is sprayed in the face with Windex and hit round the head by a broom*

[Evil_Ginge]

*quickly hits an abort button and ship turns temporarily back to normal*

"nows our chance! blow the door DD!"

[Demon Dave]

*DD staggers around clutching his face as the Windex burns his eyes. Suddenly he hears Ginge shouting about blowing doors and staggers around some more until it clicks in his head what he's on about. DD grabs a very large piece of explosive which he'd left laying around and sticks it onto the computer control room door. He then reaches into his pocket, pulls out a small remote control and presses the button on it, blowing the door to the broom closet off and most of the surrounding wall*

"oops, wrong remote"

[Evil_Ginge]

*watches as the doors fall forward as the wall around them is blown away and sighs as he sees the robots inside still effected by 50's tv show style tinfoil and somewhere in the background a cry of exterminate could be heard*

"attack!!!"

[Demon Dave]

*DD grabs a broom from what's left of the cupboard and charges towards one of the robots. DD takes a swing at the robot, knocking it's tinfoil head off onto the ground. Without stopping, DD charges towards another one of the robots*

"ARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! TAKE THAT!!!!!!!!"

[Evil_Ginge]

*watches as tinfoil and crude plastic lights get thrown around*

"what senceless violence.... oh well"

*grabs a bit of lead piping and charges into the fray*

[Mad cat]

gets up from the floor and sees the chaos then starts twitching slightly

arrg! psycadellic colors!... tin, foil robots...

grabs a microwave from the cafiteria and tears off the door then gets behind it and turns it on

[Evil_Ginge]

*Ducks the microwave beams as they fry the three robots advancing on him and crawls behind mad cat*

"just try not to hit the computer ok"

[Mad cat]

k

turns the microwave at the main group of bots

[Evil_Ginge]

*watches them sizzle and fry*

[Gryffin]

*Gryffin falls out of the chest cavity of one of the sizzling robots, and crawls into a corner to practice his cowering.*

P.S. Hey la all

[Mad cat]

well hello who are you mr robot insider

[Wo2]

*wo2 twitchs yet againg and then pulls out his broom, Black-Hole-in-a-dust-pan, and begins to sweep up the robot bits.*

I don't know who he is I just hope hes cleaner then the rest of you.

[Mad cat]

eats the still-running microwave and gets flung arcross the room from electricution

WEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

runs around as best as he can while twitching uncontrollably and then falls over and twitches

blrrrrrrrrbla

crawls up to wo2 and eats his footwear

[Demon Dave]

*DD sees Gryffin crawl out of one of the robots and is just about to hit him when he realizes who it is*

"Gryffin? what are you doing here? shouldn't you be in engineering or something?"

[Zorro]

*Zorro finds a big red button at the control panel marked "Never Never Never Under Any Circumstances Touch This." Naturally, he touches it, and sends the ship through a time vortex that takes the ship back in time to before the robots came. Picking himself up off the ground, he sets out to destroy the robots before they can appear again!*

[Mad cat]

runs around and becoms very confused a the sudden dissapearance of the robots

whaaaaa? howhats goin on?

crawls around and ends up on the ceiling, then eats zorro's hat

[J-Kama-Ka-C]

*blinks*

*picks up a shoe, wonders who could have done such a foolish thing to have left their shoot lying around like that

*Puts it on

"Excellent, now I'm only one short"

[Mad cat]

steals kama's shoe and runs off

nyahahaha, my shoe now

[Zorro]

*Zorro, realizing his hat has been stolen, decides he will demand compensation by taking the shoe. Zorro takes a shortcut through the paper mache wall and tackles Mad Cat*

"Give me the shoe!"

[Mad cat]

clubs zorro with the shoe

noooooo! my shoooe

slobbers on zorro and runs away when zorro tries to wipe it off

nya nya nya nya nya!

[Zorro]

*Zorro mistakes himself for the Wicked Witch of the West and thinks he is melting*

"I'm MEEEELTING!!! NOOOOOOOOOOo............."

*When he is still alive 30 seconds later, he begins setting traps to catch the "Shoe Bandit", including putting shoe glue all over the floors. He puts up "Wanted" Posters with Mad Cats face around the ship, and uses the intercom to alert all hands of the 1 billion dollar reward for his capture*

[Mad cat]

laughs, and chews through the ceiling, then runs around in the spaces between decks

heh heh heh, he'll never find me now!

goes to sleep, using the shoe as a makeshift pillow

[ASME]

occ: is it a bit late to join in?

[J-Kama-Ka-C]

Originally Posted by ASME

occ: is it a bit late to join in?

Well it's pretty much self DMing the players make the plot, so the answer is up to you

[Zorro]

*Zorro gives up trying to find madcat. Suspecting that there is a bug problem in the ship, he uses his interstellar cell phone to call the Space-exterminators. Arriving quickly they begin to poison the whole interior of the ship*