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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 13:20   #1
acropolis
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Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
in no particular order, it's just that i can't support marxism until a few of the important issues are sorted.

Q: Who will give me lapdances?

Without money in your society etc. Will the government assign certain (hot) and otherwise useless women to be exotic dancers? Or will there be black market trading of, say, sugar rations for a little bit of entertainment? It seems to me that that type of black market trading would be conducive to the growth of organized crime in your society, wouldn't it? Would there maybe be some type of a monthly luxury stipend? Seems rather like creeping capitalism.

Q: How will I ever get laid?

Without women forced into prostitution by the need to survive? Again, will there be assignments, or will you have to basically kidnap someone everytime you need to get some? They both seem downright piss-poor options. And even with a luxury stipend of some sort here, I'd guess I'd need my next six months worth every time, and that adds up to me not getting much.

Q: Valet service?
I don't want to walk all the way from the parking lot to the restaurant. But the inherent subservience of valet service (which would seem to be at odds with basic Communist principles) + the extinction of money makes me fear I'll have to. Not cool.

Q: Will I get to keep my maids and butlers?
I certainly can't be bothered to clean up after myself, but as in valets, why would they bother to keep working for me if I stopped paying them? And just as importantly

Q: Will I still be able to threaten to fire my maids and/or butlers if they refuse to have sex with me?
I don't know if the gift of my presence alone will make them fear being fired. Much better the fear of losing their income plus the fear of being deported back to Laos.

Anyway.
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 13:32   #2
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
What will happen to the proverb put your money where your mouth is.
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 13:41   #3
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Acropolis, you appear to be a class enemy. You`ll prolly won`t even be around after the revolution. You`ll be put up against a wall, and shot during the purges.
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 13:46   #4
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Dear Prospective Comrade,

Thank you for your interest in our exciting ideological struggle. As you may know, this is an important time in our movement's history. With the closure of our Soviet Union branch and our conversion of the People's Republic of China into a large Kentucy Fried Chicken outlet we are always looking for people to take up the franchise in other parts of the globe.

Therefore, I have enclosed some pamphlets : "How to Hijack the Labour Union to Ensure Proleterian Domination", "Proleterian Parenting : Raising Kids the Marixst Way" and "How to Spot Class Enemies". I hope you find these useful.

In response to your specific queries.

Who will give me lapdances?
This question can be gained in two ways. Individuals performing acts for money would not restricted in a Communist society. This is common sense, but might be confusing considering some of the behaviour of our Communist Branch Managers in Soviet Russia and elsewhere.

In the first stage towards the classless utopia, there would still be remnants of distinction between classes. This has been called the 'socialist' stage by some authors. Therefore, I would expect many personal services to remain as they are now. However, without state enforced private-property (specifically on land and intellectual property) capitalism would become less important.

Therefore, over time, as money become less dominant, you might actually need to behave like a decent human being to get lapdances. Personally I have no problem getting women to lap-dance, but I'm not a capitalist pig-dog so your mileage may vary.

How will I ever get laid?
A burgeoning in altruism is expected on the conversion to socialism. Considering your evident personality problems and presumed ugliness I would imagine one would welcome such a shift in attitudes. You must also remember that body fascism is relentlesly enforced as part of marketing or commodity fetishism. Advertising billboards are continuously enforcing the idea that you aren't good enough (and by you, I do literally mean you). You're not wealthy, intelligent, smart nor special. In a socialist society (leading onto Communism, the ultimate stage) these factors would be less important. While you would still be hideous, it would be less noticable.

This, combined with increased free-time would lead to an increase in sex in general. For the enemies of the class however, there would be no sex from solidarity-bearing-women.

Valet service?
As money becomes less important I would imagine there would be fewer people willing to prostitute themselves to serve you, as you suspect. Therefore, you will need to walk to venue. I'm sorry that this does not meet your requirements but there are two positive sides.

1. You will burn off some of the excess fat which is probably contributing to your enforced celibacy.
2. Cars will fade away to be replaced by rick-shaws or similar.

Will I get to keep my maids and butlers?
This is entirely dependent on whether people wish to serve you. I would imagine they would not want to. As you slowly starve to death in your rat infested home, unable to perform the most basic of domestic tasks perhaps you should reflect on the decisions you've made thus far.

Will I still be able to threaten to fire my maids and/or butlers if they refuse to have sex with me?
You can threaten what you like comrade, but with greater freedoms people would be less fearful. Deportation would no longer be an option as the working man has no country.

I hope this helps answer some of your queries. Look forward to seeing you at Marxifest 2004!

Brotherly Love,



Comrade Linehan
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 16:25   #5
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
I remember reading somewhere that when women are emancipated by socialism, they won`t need to sell there bodies. This did n`t stop the East German Stasi from using prostitutes for entrapment purposes, and worse things. A bit hypocritical? Nah, not at all.
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 16:28   #6
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
what about people who WANT to be prostitutes though? yknow, for kicks?
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 16:54   #7
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
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Originally Posted by Deepflow
what about people who WANT to be prostitutes though? yknow, for kicks?
Well obviously that wouldn't be a problem, would it?
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 17:04   #8
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Quote:
Originally Posted by pyirt
I remember reading somewhere that when women are emancipated by socialism, they won`t need to sell there bodies. This did n`t stop the East German Stasi from using prostitutes for entrapment purposes, and worse things. A bit hypocritical? Nah, not at all.
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 17:11   #9
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
2. Cars will fade away to be replaced by rick-shaws or similar.
I have a query Comrade. In our beloved soon-to-be marxist utopia wouldn't the re-emergence of rickshaws and the associated subservient status of the rickshaw drivers, not to mention the obviously needed frequent whipping for an increase in speed, be contrary to our stated goal of freedom from oppression.

I await your reply with ever-heightening anticipation.
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 17:14   #10
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Giant rats will be especially bred for the task of pulling them comrade.

We have thought of every eventuality.

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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 17:18   #11
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
How will we breed the giant rats? Will all the great scientific minds of the world unite voluntarily in order to create aforementioned vermin? Will they carry the bubonic plague and if not how will we reinforce marxist darwinistic theories of social evolution?

Yours reading his copy of Das Kapital for mentions of giant rats,

Comrade Jonny
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 17:27   #12
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
There will be a project similar to the Manhattan Project in size and scope. Scientists will come from all countries to breed the giant rat, but this time it will be called the Brooklyn Project.

The rats will be given machine guns to hunt down our class enemies comrade, so no plague is necessay. The Central Committee considered that option but on reflection decided that "Bubonic" was a little too close to "bourgeois" for their tastes.
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 17:29   #13
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
This reminds me of the episode of Clerks with Leonardo Leonardo's evil scheme.
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 17:31   #14
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Exclamation Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
What's Marxism's take on Necromancy and orgiastic Satanic ritual?

Naturally I want to be adequately prepared when the 'people's government' is ushured in.
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 17:32   #15
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Who will manufacture the machine guns? More giant rats? Are we sure these rats aren't deserving of equal rights? How will we ensure they don't turn on us and enslave us? Will they all have bombs implanted? What if they cluster around important people and blow themselves up? Surely we could at least organise a sub-committee to decide whether or not to argue over considering the option of discussing the idea of whether or not giving rats machine guns is a good idea.
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 17:34   #16
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
This reminds me of the episode of Clerks with Leonardo Leonardo's evil scheme.
I was thinking the same thing. That was probably the best bit of the episode.
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 17:34   #17
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Exclamation Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Surely we could at least organise a sub-committee to decide whether or not to argue over considering the option of discussing the idea of whether or not giving rats machine guns is a good idea.
Put it to a vote, you Leninist shit.
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 17:36   #18
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
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Put it to a vote, you Leninist shit.
Okay. First things first, someone get all the people who disagree with me out before the vote.
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 17:51   #19
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
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Originally Posted by Dante
well that obviously wouldnt be a problem then? would it?
but would that be likely to supply enough prostitutes for the common demand? and if not, could we genetically engineer 'love slaves' in a similar project to the one relating to our giant rat servants? If so would this not create problems for the sustainability of the human race when people didnt bother to have sex with normal humans as love slaves would be superior in every way thanks to the great work of our scientific comrades? Would the population shortage not allow for the giant rats to take over with their machine guns and bombs and create their own marxist utopia based upon equality for all rats? If this happened would we be morally obliged to resist or assist our vermin brethren?
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 17:53   #20
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Exclamation Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Shoot all rats and feed them to the poor. Problem solved.
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 17:55   #21
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
but then who will pull the rickshaws?
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 17:56   #22
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Exclamation Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
1/6th of the population of China.
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 17:57   #23
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
i was thinking 'giant squirrels'
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 18:09   #24
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Exclamation Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
As a parent, I am the valet service, the maid and the butler.

Things aren't looking too good in the lap dance department either. :/
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 18:30   #25
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
If so would this not create problems for the sustainability of the human race when people didnt bother to have sex with normal humans as love slaves would be superior in every way thanks to the great work of our scientific comrades?

Would the population shortage not allow for the giant rats to take over with their machine guns and bombs and create their own marxist utopia based upon equality for all rats?

If this happened would we be morally obliged to resist or assist our vermin brethren?
I'm sure this all clearly addressed in the FAQ section of 'Marxism For Dummies' but it appears that my Barnes and Noble must be sold out
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 18:44   #26
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Where will I get my lapdances,
When the people take the world,
Where will I get my lapdances
When Marx' grand triumph's unfurled?

Will the hookers, whores and harlots,
Who've been so good to me
Disappear once given
This damned egality?

I'm told this day inexorable
Will free me and brother man,
And give to each life perfect,
Like only Marxism can

I'm told this day of triumph
Will benefit each once staid,
And give to all their heart's desire
But all I want is laid.

Needs some work at the corners but I'm all about principle anyway
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 18:47   #27
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
i think the first 2 verses are genius, the last 2 just need a bit of touching up though

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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 18:51   #28
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
i think the first 2 verses are genius, the last 2 just need a bit of touching up though

yeah that's kinda my assessment too.

Rhyming scheme is blah but original idea outweighs unoriginal (i.e., overused) rhyming scheme (IMHO).

And yes I really should redo the last two. Unfortunately for me "inevitable" and "unavoidable" don't work there either.

*off to work i go*
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 20:15   #29
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
There will be a project similar to the Manhattan Project in size and scope. Scientists will come from all countries to breed the giant rat, but this time it will be called the Brooklyn Project.

The rats will be given machine guns to hunt down our class enemies comrade, so no plague is necessay. The Central Committee considered that option but on reflection decided that "Bubonic" was a little too close to "bourgeois" for their tastes.
As the rat population grows to levels which generate mass hysteria within the population , inevitably the capitalist nations of the world will threaten intervention should the "Rat Fans" not wish to be terrorised by 6ft tall machine gun toting faded puppet TV stars. Inevitably, the west will be forced to create a solution to the problem, as nature has to balance everything. This will inevitably lead to the development of "Cat Soldiers" , currently being used in Sri Lanka under the codename "Tamil Tigers". B3TA.Com appears to have had sightings of hundreds of these creatures and the elite "No Hands" squadron have been sighted within various areas of the west, and can infiltrate almost anywhere.

Comrade, have you thought of how to deal with the inevitable threat of the envious capitalist pigs?
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 20:29   #30
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
There's giant pigs now too?

Oy vey.
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 20:36   #31
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Quote:
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There's giant pigs now too?

Oy vey.
Genetic Science is advancing every day Comrade. We must cross breed the natural enemies of nature to create a fighting machine the likes of which have never been seen.
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Unread 30 Jun 2004, 22:42   #32
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Exclamation Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
All green spaces will be bulldozed and turned into tennement buildings under Marxism.
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Unread 1 Jul 2004, 14:55   #33
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
i rate this thread

now i just need someone else to be original and funny, im too wrecked, go go gadget entertain me!
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Unread 1 Jul 2004, 17:28   #34
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Comrades,

Would not Lap-dancing Giant Rats from the whorehouse serve our every need?

PS. Folks, this thread is inspired.
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Unread 1 Jul 2004, 18:38   #35
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boogster
Comrades,

Would not Lap-dancing Giant Rats from the whorehouse serve our every need?

PS. Folks, this thread is inspired.
they'd better be well-shaved giant whore rats.

I think having sex with a hairy giant whore rat would be just gross.
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Unread 1 Jul 2004, 18:43   #36
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Your personal preference is of no matter in the march of glorious international dialectical marxist progress towards the communist utopia of freedom from the shackles of imperialist capitalist pig-dog industrial wage-slavery. Free your mind, expand your horizons, think outside the box, mumble jargon twice a day and leave the world of bourgeoise cultural prejudice behind!
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Unread 1 Jul 2004, 19:00   #37
Marilyn Manson
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Exclamation Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Will my porno collection be requisitioned by the People's Supreme Soviet for the greater good of the workers?
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Unread 1 Jul 2004, 19:14   #38
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Exclamation Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
Will my porno collection be requisitioned by the People's Supreme Soviet for the greater good of the workers?
It will be requisitioned by the People's Supreme Soviet for the greater good of the Supreme Soviet.

You will be sent to re-education camp.
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Unread 1 Jul 2004, 21:33   #39
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Exclamation Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
I'm damned if I'm giving up my manporn to some bureacrat with his cock trapped in the rule book.
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Unread 1 Jul 2004, 21:39   #40
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
then you will be declared an enemy of the people and ritually sodomised for the rest of your days
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Unread 1 Jul 2004, 21:40   #41
Marilyn Manson
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Question Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
and ritually sodomised for the rest of your days
By who?
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Unread 1 Jul 2004, 21:44   #42
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
i dunno, who do you want to ritually sodomise you? im sure someone suitably mansexy could be foud.
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Unread 1 Jul 2004, 21:49   #43
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Exclamation Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
i dunno, who do you want to ritually sodomise you?
Ah, the agony of choice.
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Unread 2 Jul 2004, 15:31   #44
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
I thought we'd been over this? Good looking women will be physically forced to have sex and give lapdances to ugly men, in the same way that the strong will be forced to aid the weak and the productive will be forced to support the unproductive. They have no right to complain; it's their own fault for being born attractive.
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Unread 2 Jul 2004, 15:33   #45
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Hurrah, you're back!
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Unread 2 Jul 2004, 15:35   #46
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Exclamation Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
Good looking women will be physically forced to have sex and give lapdances to ugly people,
Ugly Jewish men. That's what happens when the Jews take over. Thousands of knock-kneed, inbred Oriental swine taking our women and ravishing them.

It happened in The USSR, and it would happen here, too, if the international Zionist conspiracy had it's way.
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Unread 2 Jul 2004, 15:38   #47
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
I thought we'd been over this? Good looking women will be physically forced to have sex and give lapdances to ugly men, in the same way that the strong will be forced to aid the weak and the productive will be forced to support the unproductive. They have no right to complain; it's their own fault for being born attractive.
Baby you're all that I want, when you're lying here in my arms.
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Unread 2 Jul 2004, 15:45   #48
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
Quote:
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Baby you're all that I want, when you're lying here in my arms.
are you singing the old version or the commercial club version? these things are important yknow.
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Unread 2 Jul 2004, 22:34   #49
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
yeah

what about rap music though?

Pretty hard to rap "I'm a P I M P" when theres no hos

No cash, no bling no escalades:/

Rapping about how the government forced a hot chick to shag your ugly self isn't quite the same.
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Unread 3 Jul 2004, 00:09   #50
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Re: Important Questions About Society After The Inevitable Marxist Triumph
all music with negative connotations will be stopped when we are living in a marxist utopia, there will be no need! The only music that we will hear will be lovely happy stuff, polyphonic spree etc.

and of course dance music, and once drugs are legalised (which of course they will be) people will be so damn happy and ****ed all the time anyway they wont care that theres no longer any need for rage against the machine.

which is a shame
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