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Unread 30 Dec 2005, 17:54   #1
midge5
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The Adventures of ASG and Adam

I meant to write this story a few days ago but never got round to it.


On boxing night me, my brother and a few of our mates (including All Systems Go from here) decided to go out for the night to a local club that we had some free offers (some champagne and free entry) and which was running a school themed night.


It started off with us trying to find some blue WKD so that we could try and copy the Weatherspoons Cheeky Vimto. All the local supermarkets were shut and the corner shops by us had all flavours of WKD except blue.


After arriving in Cardiff we started off drinking in my flat before moving on at around 9:30 so that we could get free entry. The place was less than 5 minutes away but ASG suddenly started throwing up in the middle of the street saying there was no way he could have held it in just a few minutes. In a brilliant start to the night he threw up over my tie which he had borrowed for the night.


The first part of the night passed quietly enough though at around 11:30 I got separated from my mates so spent the rest of my time with my brother and his friends. Periodically throughout the night ASG was sending me strange texts about how he was now in my hotel and going to gay bars. No one really knows what happened to him at this point.


At around 2 then we all started to leave and one of my brothers friends had these two girls with him. A blonde and a brunette. At this point I didn’t really care as long as they weren’t in my room and kept the noise down. I couldn’t have begun to imagine the night this was going to lead to me having.


Once we arrived back at mine the first strange thing that was to occur was the brunette taking off a wig which was a bit shocking. She wasn’t bald just had short hair. A couple of minutes later the other girl started making a line of coke on the kitchen table though most of the others there weren’t too happy about this so asked them to stop which they agreed to. Assuming they had I brushed up the little bits I saw on the table 20 minutes later and threw them out the window. Not long after that one of them was looking for a new line that they had made only to be convinced by the other she must have already taken it. Oops.


Around this time the blonde one disappeared to the toilet with my brother after stealing my condoms which the brunette casually mentioned they were whores before making out with one of his friends. Most of us assumed she was just joking though.


It was getting quite late by now so I decided to go to bed though my friends who were meant to be staying in my room decided to stay awake for a bit. As I was lying in my room the blonde one decided to come on the claim of hiding from the others as she was fed up of sex from her job and didn’t want any more. While talking she decided to mention her ex madam lived in the same block of flats and that she was probably going to jail in a few weeks for contempt of court or some such. After talking to her for about 45 minutes she give me her number and then went back to the living room.


Not long after this ASG and my other mate came into my bedroom laughing. My other mate (who was gay) had apparently freaked out of my brothers friends by pretending he fancied him and they were pissing themselves laughing at the way he quickly scurried off.


While we were trying to sleep the others were talking a lot keeping us awake. ASG at this point decided to bugger off up to the 15th floor to try and sleep in the corridor(wtf like?). As I am now wide awake and a bit worried about leaving them lot alone I decide to go in the living room to fix my pc. As I open the door my brother shouts and me to piss off and I seem him having sex with the blonde girl again. As I am shutting the door I notice that it isn’t only my brothers friend sleeping on the floor by my feet but the brunette and they are having sex as well.


At this point I give in and go back to bed only to find a few minutes later that my mate is asleep and is now sleep talking about how much he loves his boyfriend and some of their more intimate encounters. At this point I just start laughing unable to believe my luck with something happening in every room so after a bit longer lying in bed I think **** this and go back to the living room, where my brother who was still going at it buggers off to the bathroom.


After fixing the pc I notice the living room is a tip and as it is now about 6:30am I realise I will probably drive home without going to bed so I may as well start cleaning it up now. As I start putting glasses away my brother comes back with the blonde looking for her underwear which she had managed to lose for the second time that night. In their excitement most of the buttons on her shirt have been ripped off so until she finds her bra she will essentially be walking around Cardiff with her tits hanging out.


As they have knocked some drink on the floor, and assuming everything is now over, I go to get a towel to dry it. As I open the living room door I am greeted by a threesome going on in my passage so just shut the door. After a few minutes of being unable to move without stepping in water I decide to brave their angry shouts by stepping into between their bodies in order to reach the airing cupboard and get a towel.

Some point during this the friend sleeping in my room had woken up and come into the living room as well. He was complaining he was knackered while I was wide awake despite being up for nearly 24 hours. The blonde girl then pipes up asking if she had spiked my drink which could be keeping me awake though after stunning the room into silence she said she hadn’t as she only spiked the drinks of people she knows. (I knew she hadn’t as I didn’t have a drink after getting back to my flat).


I never witnessed it but the two whores were also really annoyed at my friend as apparently during the night he had kept winding them by calling them slags and cheap whores.


Not long after this we all left and when we get back to my car we find two dents in the side and blood all over the window. Turns out someone decided it would be fun to have a fight against it during the night.


I’m sure I have missed a few things out which ASG can add later but it was still one of the most surreal and amusing nights of our lives. Our first adventures with crack whores about to go to jail.
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Last edited by midge5; 30 Dec 2005 at 21:29.
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Unread 30 Dec 2005, 18:14   #2
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Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

Quote:
I am greeted by a threesome going on in my passage
I think that bit needed repeating.
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Unread 30 Dec 2005, 18:17   #3
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Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

and you didnt once join in?
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Unread 30 Dec 2005, 18:18   #4
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Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

Quote:
Originally Posted by SYMM
I think that bit needed repeating.
snicker. chortle. snicker.
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Unread 30 Dec 2005, 18:18   #5
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Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

obligatory "you should have had more sex" post




is this going to go into an autobiography once you become a Conservative MP?
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Unread 30 Dec 2005, 18:19   #6
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Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
is this going to go into an autobiography once you become a Conservative MP?
Well they have to put something interesting in there....
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Unread 30 Dec 2005, 18:43   #7
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Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

I <3 Boris
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Unread 30 Dec 2005, 20:35   #8
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Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

if you're not going to join in, the least you could do is take (and post) pics
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Unread 30 Dec 2005, 20:37   #9
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Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

That is certainly surreal dude.
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Unread 30 Dec 2005, 21:21   #10
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Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

Quote:
Originally Posted by sniborp
and you didnt once join in?
Amazingly I didn't fancy it after they had already gone round my brother and his friends

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1-X
If you're not going to join in, the least you could do is take (and post) pics
It's a bit late for that Though I have one terrible photo on my phone and we also made the nightclubs website heh. Can't remember having any of them photos taken.
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Last edited by midge5; 30 Dec 2005 at 21:30.
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Unread 30 Dec 2005, 21:59   #11
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Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

Sounds like a sailor's story out in some foreign port in Europe.
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Unread 31 Dec 2005, 01:30   #12
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Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

Disgusting scenarios!
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Unread 31 Dec 2005, 01:37   #13
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Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

back when i was single i would have slipped one of the women a crippler




you suck, and not in the good way
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Unread 31 Dec 2005, 01:48   #14
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Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

Does that make you better?
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Unread 31 Dec 2005, 18:14   #15
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Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

what the ****
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Unread 3 Jan 2006, 17:50   #16
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Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

lol sounds like a magical journey of std's and baldness

i suppose every conservative mp has some hidden secret like this so your one step closer now
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Unread 4 Jan 2006, 00:39   #17
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Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

I think that's a pretty thorough description of the evening. Although I shal clarify a few points.

Quote:
Originally Posted by midge5
On boxing night me, my brother and a few of our mates (including All Systems Go from here) decided to go out for the night to a local club that we had some free offers (some champagne and free entry) and which was running a school themed night.
thight bastards, I never got my free champagne. Although considering the amount I drank that's probabl for the best.

Quote:
Originally Posted by midge 5
After arriving in Cardiff we started off drinking in my flat before moving on at around 9:30 so that we could get free entry. The place was less than 5 minutes away but ASG suddenly started throwing up in the middle of the street saying there was no way he could have held it in just a few minutes. In a brilliant start to the night he threw up over my tie which he had borrowed for the night.
Sorry about that. I really shouldn't have stuffed my face with that pizza like a fat bastard.


Quote:
Originally Posted by midge 5
The first part of the night passed quietly enough though at around 11:30 I got separated from my mates so spent the rest of my time with my brother and his friends. Periodically throughout the night ASG was sending me strange texts about how he was now in my hotel and going to gay bars. No one really knows what happened to him at this point.
I was convinced by my relatively outed best friend to go to somewhere else. I definatly remember going to the Hard Rock Café and having a double JD and coke, which I may or may not have drunk as we were literally there for less than 10 minutes. But eventually we ended up in a gay bar but weren't there long as it was crap.

We proceeded to head back to your flat where we were waiting for like an hour until someone else went in so we could actually enter the bulding then spent an hour waiting outside your door.

the guy on the door gave me a really dirty look the next day, so I may have pissed him off with what was almost definatly an incredably long and annoying rant about being locked out, complete with excessive swearing.



Quote:
Originally Posted by midge 5
Once we arrived back at mine the first strange thing that was to occur was the brunette taking off a wig which was a bit shocking. She wasn’t bald just had short hair.
Funny as...
£70 on fake hair! She must be raking it in.

Quote:
Originally Posted by midge 5
While we were trying to sleep the others were talking a lot keeping us awake. ASG at this point decided to bugger off up to the 15th floor to try and sleep in the corridor(wtf like?)
Unsurprisingly, I don't sleep well in a flat full of other people having sex.

Not my cup of tea, I'm afraid.

Quote:
Originally Posted by midge 5
I never witnessed it but the two whores were also really annoyed at my friend as apparently during the night he had kept winding them by calling them slags and cheap whores.
Indeed. He tried to get them to piss off at 4am even though they lived miles away.

So all in all a very interesting evening.
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Last edited by All Systems Go; 4 Jan 2006 at 00:53.
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Unread 4 Jan 2006, 00:49   #18
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Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

he deserves everything he got if he threw away drugs... i mean... really
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Unread 4 Jan 2006, 00:55   #19
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All Systems Go has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.All Systems Go has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.All Systems Go has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.All Systems Go has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.All Systems Go has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.All Systems Go has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.All Systems Go has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.All Systems Go has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.All Systems Go has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.All Systems Go has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.All Systems Go has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Re: The Adventures of ASG and Adam

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
is this going to go into an autobiography once you become a Conservative MP?
No. this is going in my blackmail folder, just in case he becomes to powerful....
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The 20th century has been characterised by three developments of great political importance. The growth of democracy; the growth of corporate power; and the growth of corporate propaganda as a means of protecting corporate power against democracy.
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