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21 Jun 2004, 15:36
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#1
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb At:
Aberystwyth: None - Most of them are still sleeping in the basketball court following housing shortages.
St. Andrews: Three - One to call the butler and two to arrange a tailor in Rome to design and make new suits for the special occasion. If a light bulb in a major building blows then increase to 27 to allow for a brass band playing the last post and five Sun reporters. The following days Sun will contain something along the lines of "Will's Pals in Blown Bulb Horror".
Aston: None - And stay down, they shoot at the lights, that's why the last one went.
Bath: Seven - Five to form a radical new initiative called 'TeamBulb Focus', one to make a public announcement stating "A successful environment is not about pushing yourself to the absolute limit" and one to change the light bulb before it's actually blown.
Birmingham: Nine - One to steal a new bulb from the back of a shop,two for the wheelmen and six to go shoot out all the light bulbs in some Aston student houses.
Manchester: Three - one to mix the martinis, one to call the electrician and one to call daddy to pay for the bill.(So true)
Cardiff/Caerdydd: Two- one to put the bulb in and one to hold an umbrella. However at least one native welsh speaker must be present to make sure that the english language isn't dominant in the process of the change of the lightbulb.
Coventry: Two - One to take the bulb out and another to glass a random stranger's face with it.
DeMontfort: Seven - Two to change the bulb and five to write an interpretive modern drama about the experience.
Glasgow: None of your f*cking business!
Imperial: Eight - It's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, just that they're all violently twitching from too much stress to achieve coordinated movement.
Keele: Fifty - one to change the bulb, 49 to stop the Stokie locals trying to steal the old bulb as "the next best thing" for their own houses.
Leeds: Three - One to change it and two to find a way to get high off the old bulb.
Leicester: Four - One to change the bulb and three to complain bitterly that it wouldn't have been allowed to happen at Oxbridge, so please give us some funding. Please.
Newcastle: Eight - One to find a red 'Fireglow' bulb, one to mount it near the window and the other six to wait inside.
Oxford: An entire college house, but only one of them is sober enough to figure out what to do with it, and he subsequently is cellophane-wrapped naked to a street lamp.
Ox. Brookes: Five - One to take the bulb out and four to stick their fingers in the socket.
Paisley: Between three and ten, depending on how far through the term it is, to club together their remaining funds to purchase a new light bulb.
Plymouth: Six - One to change it and five to campaign to make light bulb changing a new degree subject.
Pontypridd: Ten - One to buy the light bulb and nine to petition for the eventual electrification of Pontypridd.
Reading: Three - One to pull the bulb out and two to complain when the socket and ceiling come down with it through dry rot.
Sheffield: 51, one to change the bulb and 50 to sit around saying they were well clever enough to change it but they couldn't be bothered.
UCL: Two - One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it as well as an Oxbridge student.
UMIST: Five - One to design a nuclear powered light bulb that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Greater Manchester using said light bulb, two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the wall switch.
UNL: Nobody Knows - The light bulbs stay with North London Uni longer than the students.
UWIC: Only one, but he gets 10 course credits for doing it.
Warwick: Seventy Six - One to change the light bulb, fifty to protest the light bulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter protest allowing for permissible change in light bulbs, as long as the light bulbs accept it.
York: Three - One to change the bulb and one to check his maths coursework.
Last edited by Ste; 21 Jun 2004 at 15:44.
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21 Jun 2004, 15:45
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#2
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Wankoverable
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: wherever I am
Posts: 726
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
I don't "get them" since I dont know anything about all your stupid universities
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Don't worry, life is too long.
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21 Jun 2004, 15:45
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#3
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
They don't have either of my universities.
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21 Jun 2004, 15:47
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#4
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
well make one up then...
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21 Jun 2004, 16:00
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#5
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Mistress's fluffer
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 172
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
York: Three - One to change the bulb and one to check his maths coursework.
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Can't count? :eek:
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21 Jun 2004, 16:02
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#6
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Mr. Blobby
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Belgium
Posts: 8,271
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
Free University Amsterdam: 21 - Five to form a student union with the rapid replacement of lightbulbs as their main point, ten to post announcement flyers all over the building, five to find out where in the hell the light bulbs in the building are located anyway, and one completely unrelated student to notice maintenance fixing that broken light in the hallway.
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21 Jun 2004, 16:23
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#7
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
London School of Economics : Two, one to change the bulb and one to hand out those ****ing annoying "Join the Business Society : We're Patenting the Light Bulb and Becoming Billionaires Without Contributing Anything to Humanity" leaflets those ****s keep bothering me with when I walk down Houghton Street.
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21 Jun 2004, 16:25
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#8
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Look! He's Dancing!
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Gawd Bless Glasgow
Posts: 2,144
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
****ing students
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21 Jun 2004, 16:45
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#9
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
The person who wrote that obviously doesn't know anything about Oxford except they have 'colleges'.
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21 Jun 2004, 17:22
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#10
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
ah, but it was still funny though
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lazy
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21 Jun 2004, 17:50
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#11
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Lucky
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: -
Posts: 3,830
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
old.
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21 Jun 2004, 18:03
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#12
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Next goal wins!
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: London
Posts: 5,406
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
didnt have mine...
they had manchester though, which is close i suppose
but that was 'wrong' in more ways than i can explain.
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bastard bastard bastard bastard
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21 Jun 2004, 18:07
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#13
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
but that was 'wrong' in more ways than i can explain.
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Lets list them.
1. M is not between B and C in the alphabet.
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21 Jun 2004, 18:15
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#14
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
Lets list them.
1. M is not between B and C in the alphabet.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evergreen
don't get it.
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__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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21 Jun 2004, 18:27
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#15
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
If you mean you don't understand what I'm talking about... why is it that every other uni is in alphabetical order, but Manc is between Brum and Cardiff?
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21 Jun 2004, 18:35
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#16
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Heh
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Winchester
Posts: 527
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
Swansea University 5 Students, One to buy and change the lightbulb and four to protest against the fact that lightbulbs are seemingly more important that departments staying open
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21 Jun 2004, 23:22
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#17
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Love's Sweet Exile
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Living on a Stair (Now Sword-less)
Posts: 2,371
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
The Warwick and Coventry ones seem quite apt
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22 Jun 2004, 10:54
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#18
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
I've been sent this in an e-mail before... but there were more.
My uni (exeter) isn't there
It had something about sloanes fixing it or something...
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22 Jun 2004, 11:27
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#19
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nomen est omen
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Bristol, UK
Posts: 1,095
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
What about Bristol?
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Views expressed are those of the author and not of any company or organisation I am associated with. Electronic communication can be forged and the integrity of this message is not guaranteed.
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22 Jun 2004, 13:37
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#20
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Naked & Profane
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 357
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
SheffieldHallam: 51, one to change the bulb and 50 to sit around saying they were well clever enough to change it but they couldn't be bothered.
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More appopriate!!!! (im sure thats what it should have started as)
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22 Jun 2004, 14:11
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#21
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
Quote:
Originally Posted by nickhall
More appopriate!!!! (im sure thats what it should have started as)
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I'm pretty sure there aren't 50 clever people at Hallam
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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22 Jun 2004, 15:05
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#22
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
I'm pretty sure there aren't 50 clever people at Hallam
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too true...
The Sheffield one represents everyone I know too closely. I think I'm the only one in my house that actually can ever be bothered to change lightbulbs... Although I'm sure a more appropriate one would be about fair trade lightbulbs and annoying socialist worker people on the concourse...
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22 Jun 2004, 23:40
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#23
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Naked & Profane
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 357
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
I'm pretty sure there aren't 50 clever people at Hallam
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Oi,
"I could have gone to..." oh wait that was my point!!
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23 Jun 2004, 00:32
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#24
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☆ ♥
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 3,489
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
pretty unwitty jokes there
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23 Jun 2004, 11:51
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#25
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
Aberystwyth has plenty of houses, so your joke is flawed from the beginning.
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23 Jun 2004, 12:31
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#26
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Lucky
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: -
Posts: 3,830
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
how many students does it take to create a real funny thread?
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23 Jun 2004, 12:35
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#27
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lolly roffle
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 5,514
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Re: How Many Students Does It Take To Change A Light bulb at uni?
A few weeks ago i got a text from my housemate saying 3 of our lightbulbs had blown and so i should go out and get some.
I was 150 miles away in Blackburn, god knows what he expected me to do.
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eXcessum
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