Why am I not content?

[skiddy]

I'm lying on my bed.

I have three computers surrounding me, with 3mb internet connection and Dolby surround sound.

I have an xBox.

I have Sky Digital with EVERY channel (bar those £10 per month ones like NASN and Playboy).

I have a 28" inch widescreen TV.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

I've nothing I need to do this evening so the night is my own.

I'm lying on my bed and quite comfortable, with wireless desktop and sky/stereo/tv remotes.

I have a bottle of Pepsi and some ice cream.

I should be content and happy, yet something is missing.

What is it?

[skiddy]

PS - yes I'm lonely and want some companionship, but it's not that either.

Nor is it you Mr Manson.

[Ragnarak]

Going with the obvious one here but "someone to share all that stuff with"?

[Dante Hicks]

A cause.

[skiddy]

I guess you're both right on that.

I need to find someone to share things with.

[Stew]

I know how you feel.
Well not quite as many things but add a car outside!!

[skiddy]

Well, in response to that one, I also have a two litre turbo diesel Vauxhall Vectra outside.

[Deepflow]

everyone gets that feeling sometimes.

sounds like the midweek blues to me but i guess not.

just do something to occupy your mind... start playing GO! \o/

[Dante Hicks]

When I saw Deepflow had posted in this thread, I was almost certain he had posted "You need drugs" or similar.

I hate being wrong.

[skiddy]

See Deepflow, I know what you mean there, but I've been having this one feeling for years.

I've got everything I want but ultimately I have nothing

It's like a whole chunk of me is missing and I'm searching for it, but I know I'll never find it here. I just don't know where I should look.

[Stew]

Originally Posted by skiddy

I've been having this one feeling for months.

I've got everything (within reason) I want but ultimately I have nothing

It's like a whole chunk of me is missing and I'm searching for it, but I know I'll never find it here. I just don't know where I should look.

[Dante Hicks]

Originally Posted by skiddy

It's like a whole chunk of me is missing and I'm searching for it, but I know I'll never find it here. I just don't know where I should look.

1. Biology?
Speculatively, you could say that human's are happier when they are searching for something. You wouldn't be "depressed" per se if you were hungry. You'd be hungry, and the thought of getting food acts as something to look forward to. After you've eaten, you've not got that.

Once you scale that up, and realise you have "everything" that you need (shelter, food, etc) life becomes a bit discomforting. You can lose yourself in mindless consumerism (Oh, I need to have 10gb of RAM!), but that's rarely satisfying in the long term.

We're a richer society than we've ever been, yet people are still killing themselves (in quite high numbers, apparently). Why? Which leads onto...

2. Alienation from Society
You're alienated from other human beings. I don't just mean you need a "relationship" in which to lose/forget you worries. I'm talking a rich interconnecting web of links with humans on every level. Modern society has destroyed traditional living patterns (for better & worse) to the point where a lot of people are lonely, afraid and ultimately insecure. We can surround ourselves with electrical appliances, but it doesn't necessarily help.

3. Alienation from your Species-Character
You, as a human being, are a creator, an artist, a seeker, a poet, a philosopher. If you're not using your species-character (your facility for creation) life can become worthless. I don't mean start writing pretentious goth poetry, but perhaps a cause of some kind (as I mentioned) in which to apply yourself. Could be social, political or personal. Something which expresses you as a person.

There's three possibilities. Pick what you want. There's plenty more out there.

[Ragnarak]

Stew
stuff

You still have me.

*Hugs*

Or commiserations depending on how you look at it

[Stew]

Originally Posted by Ragnarak

You still have me.

*Hugs*

[Deepflow]

i prefer anomie to alienation. marx sucks

[Dante Hicks]

Originally Posted by Deepflow

i prefer anomie to alienation.

It's the same sort of thing dude. I've no problem with anomie.

marx sucks

He could beat you up in a fight.

[skiddy]

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

Something which expresses you as a person.

But I have no idea what would express me as a person.

I can't write stories very well. I can't paint or draw. I'm in no way musically talented.

The only thing I'm good at is computers and roleplaying (as in the Dungeons and Dragons style, not dressing up as a nurse.)

Neither of which I'm at all interested in.

[Dante Hicks]

Who cares if you're good?

[skiddy]

Other people will see it and think its a reflection of me.

Not literally.

[Tactitus]

You just need a couple of children:

You won't be able to lay on your bed because your daughter will have converted it into a classroom for her entire stuffed animal collection.

Your son will be camped on your best computer, consuming 99.44% of your internet bandwidth. The second computer will have a busted optical drive, probably caused by a toy--but nobody's talking.

The xBox will be broken. Again. Your children will deny any knowledge/responsibility.

Forget about the TV and channels--your daughter, having tired of Stuffed Animal Classroom, will be watching All Dogs Go to Heaven 2.

The Pepsi and ice cream will all be gone.

The Missus is off to her Tae Kwan Doh class so you will have nothing to do except feed the kids. Be warned, however, that they will eat nothing that you prefer to eat nor will they eat the same thing. You can choose not feed them, of course; but then they will turn on each other and--eventually--you.

Ah, the wild hedonism of a Friday night!

[pablissimo]

Heh, that made me chuckle some. I was unaware you were the funny type =(

[Nodrog]

what have you achieved or produced in the last 2 months? Have you improved yourself over the last year? Are you more intelligent than you were at the time 12 months ago? Are you moving forwards or stagnating?

[Deepflow]

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

It's the same sort of thing dude. I've no problem with anomie. He could beat you up in a fight.

sort of thing yeah...

thats why it was such a weird thing to say...

and marx punches like a girl

[Embroglio]

Get NASN, i've been meaning to once i have a job, it looks great.

[Stew]

Originally Posted by Embroglio

Get NASN, i've been meaning to once i have a job, it looks great.

North American Sports Network?

[Kurashima]

Originally Posted by Ragnarak

Going with the obvious one here but "someone to share all that stuff with"?

[KaneED]

Originally Posted by Tactitus

stuff

ok no kids for me.



i feel the same kinda. i'm at uni but i don't feel i have a place. i've got a millions of things so my materialism is satisfied but i don't seem to have any definitive goals except a bunch of wayward dreams that most likely will be be realised because i don't think they can be and so don't strive and motivate myself towards seeking them.


oh the woes ://

[Deepflow]

cant you just stop worrying about the future and concentrate on enjoying life?

[Stew]

is anyone on GD content?! and do u have a partner? I bet there's a rather positive correlation!

[KaneED]

Originally Posted by Deepflow

cant you just stop worrying about the future and concentrate on enjoying life?

well, i do enjoy life in the sense that i'm no depressed or unhappy with my circumstances, but i think we all have the need to devote ourselves to some greater ambition in the eventual hope that we'll be fulfilled in some sense.


you've got your drugs, your dream is to be permanently stoned like ozzy osbourne, so you seem to be doing quite well to that end, but not everyone has that kind of success

[Deepflow]

dont assume to know me.

to be honest, if i have a philosophy, its to enjoy life as much as possible. I see drugs as a good way of doing this. But other things as well y'know.

[skiddy]

Originally Posted by Nodrog

what have you achieved or produced in the last 2 months? Have you improved yourself over the last year? Are you more intelligent than you were at the time 12 months ago? Are you moving forwards or stagnating?

I've acheived very little that I am actually proud of in the past two months. To be honest, I've acheived little that deserves anything close to recognition for the past twelve months, although yes I believe I am more intelligent than I was this time a year ago. However, that's all in the realms of computers.

Admittedly I'm a hell of a better shot now than I was twelve months ago, but that's hardly useful in everyday life.

I'd say that in some area's I'm moving forwards and in some area's I'm staying perfectly still despite the mental effort I'm putting into these area's.

The area's moving forwards - promotion in the TA and my alcohol tolerance level.
The area's staying still - social interaction, career, esentially everything else.

On one note, I do have a much better (near perfect, but settling at great) relationship with my parents whom I moved back with about nine month ago.

I still long for companionship though and something else bigger which I can't put my finger on.

[Marilyn Manson]

I think your soul is yearning for me.

[Evergreen]

Originally Posted by Stew

is anyone on GD content?! and do u have a partner? I bet there's a rather positive correlation!

I'm content and yes I have a partner.

[Marilyn Manson]

I'm content and I have beer, ice cream, and an Alan Bullock paperback.

I think your problem, Stu, is that you have too much. You can't appreciate anything.

[queball]

There are no reasons behind your feelings, they just are. If only all those poets had understood this simple fact we could have saved a lot of time.

[skiddy]

So if they are without reason then they are without resolve.

How do I make them go away

[Marilyn Manson]

Just get drunk, and go to bed.* You won't even remember this in the morning, and you'll have an energetic and enjoyable Saturday. And if you do start feeling like this again, then you'll always have drugs.











*(With me.)

[queball]

Yeah, seriously - you say you want "companionship" and "something else bigger" you "can't put your finger on", you're feeling empty, want fullness, you need a nice big cock. (I'm a doctor btw)

[skiddy]

Originally Posted by queball

Yeah, seriously - you say you want "companionship" and "something else bigger" you "can't put your finger on", you're feeling empty, want fullness, you need a nice big cock. (I'm a doctor btw)

Unhelpful.

I am not sleeping with Andrew. Period.

[Marilyn Manson]

I am willing to take part in your 'treatment', if Dr queball decrees that it will be helpful.

[Dace]

Originally Posted by skiddy

What is it?

You're not fiddling enough kiddies?!

[Marilyn Manson]

Seriously, though, I don't think any of us can solve your problem, because we don't know enough about your personal feelings and emotional predicament to comment.

[Tactitus]

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

Seriously, though, I don't think any of us can solve your problem, because we don't know enough about your personal feelings and emotional predicament to comment.

That's never stopped us before!

[Marilyn Manson]

Well, I feel that this is fundamentally a problem of feeling which can't really be logically assesed by another person.

[Blastoderm]

Skiddy, maybe your clinically depressed. Apparantly guys don't admit that sort of stuff. So I suggest a change in lifestyle.

[Snurx]

I think Dante is right on this one, for once. (Bloody commies are almost never right, and it pains my black hearth to admit it )

Find a hobby! And you don't need to be good at a thing to do it. You get good after a while. Sure, there are morons, idiots and lucky bastards that can pick up a brush and make a masterpiece, but for the most part, it's just hard work. I've had feelings that's kinda alike to the ones you are describing, and I picked up some things that were right for me, but those things I sucked at. I've trained, and trained, and trained some more, and I've become quite good at those things. Try different things, to see what you like! If youre one of those creative adrenalin-junkies, streetart or graffiti might be the thing for you. Do you have a great rage against society? No problem, get a black hoodie and go to the next black block demo! Maybe the local sewing club is something for you, or golf? Aquire some different painting things, and paint/draw whatever you like. Get a guitar and start jamming. Maybe try to get some new friends (Without dumping the old ones, of course. New friends and people can be a great motivatio!)? If youre a bad cook, go to a lesson. And so on, if you just use your "life force" (Karma, hippy lol) for something that you enjoy, life jumps a great deal up.

Of course, I blame society for much of todays "depressive" wave among youngsters. But, if that's the thing with you, I have no qualification to say, beacause I don't know about your life or lifestyle, and I'm not really a doctor or anything like Q.

But hey, I'm constantly depressed* and still manage to have fun!



*I hate life, not beacause of life but beacause of this world

[meglamaniac]

Go out and meet people.
The one thing noticeably lacking from your first post is any mention of friends or colleagues or any other people on your life at all, and you've admitted later on that maybe you do want someone to share your snazzy consumer goods with (damn you for having the money, damn you...!).

If there's one thing i've learnt at uni it's never ever turn anyone down for anything. So hey, you might not particularly want to go to a pub/bar/club/cinema/american-pool-hall/bowling with the person concerened but so long as they're bringing some mates along you get to meet them and what the hell, you never know.
I met one of my closest friends here that way. For gods sake, i'm on a computer science course and it was a course social - on the face of it, hows THAT for an evening no-one in their right mind would go to?
It turned out ok though, the seriously geeky lot stayed home (bar?! alcohol?! socialise?!), I talked to this random girl about how stereotypical it was that out of the 15 or so CS people who'd dared show up at the bar none of them seemed to be able to work out what to do about having a female near them (she's like 1 of 4 girls on a course with 100 people), and she's now a great friend.
I've met plenty of other mates the same way, so get out and introduce yourself damnit!

[Tomkat]

I feel like that on Wednesdays and Sundays.

[Deepflow]

Originally Posted by Tomkat

I feel like that on Wednesdays and Sundays.

me too actually. weird that innit?