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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 01:39   #1
InTGuRu
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Suggestions for Newt
Over the past PA rounds, Newt has brought us more than a few moments of laughter. From pissing in bottles, dancing (badly) with belly-dancers, chatting up a stranger and watching them wank on webcam, to superglueing a cellphone to his head, Newt has kept us awake through those long boring nights.

But where is he now? Rather than pursue his growing fame, he is now living a quiet life on IRC.

It would be a crime against humanity to let his man's talents go to waste. We, as a community, must pressure Newt out of retirement and into the spotlight which he truely deserves. But what stunt can proform to outshine his last? This is where we can help. Please post your suggestions. The rules are simple, nothing too illegal and nothing that can immediately kill him. Oh, and don't be afraid to pm him on IRC. He is a very lonely man and needs company (preferably female).

Here are a few to get the list started:
1) Fight with the homeless
2) Convince his family he is gay
3) Deliver sex toys to the elderly
4) Pimp japanese schoolgirls
5) Use blue hair dye on his body hair
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[19:36:04] <Vaporizer> he is re-assuring isn't he...you can always think 'at least you're not intguru'

[15:02:56] <Newt|revising> ive got u in my siggy InTGuRu!!!!!!!
[15:03:00] <Newt|revising> u shud return the favour
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 01:46   #2
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Embroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himEmbroglio is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like him
6) Go away.
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 01:47   #3
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Re: Suggestions for Newt
Quote:
Originally posted by InTGuRu

1) Fight with the homeless


Doing this in Glasgow is basically asking to be killed.

Actually come to think of it so is suggestion 2.

I thought you didn't want Newt to die immediately?
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 01:51   #4
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after the belly dancing, i choose the japanese pimp option
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 01:52   #5
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a.Tell a bouncer how he feels about him.
b.Buy a pilot uniform and see if he can board an aeroplane for free. (closest airport will do)
c.Ask a big group of guys if any of them have a spare condom because Newt and his gay lover need one desperately.
d.Ask people for directions towards the closest mental aslym
e.Do not pay the bill for anything, refuse to pay because you're a movie star and deserve better.
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 01:57   #6
InTGuRu
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hunter RAF

e.Do not pay the bill for anything, refuse to pay because you're a movie star and deserve better.
I like this one
I'm still waiting for him to come on to respond
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[19:36:04] <Vaporizer> he is re-assuring isn't he...you can always think 'at least you're not intguru'

[15:02:56] <Newt|revising> ive got u in my siggy InTGuRu!!!!!!!
[15:03:00] <Newt|revising> u shud return the favour
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 02:35   #7
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Newt's forums account is banned

but I'll post on his behalf ... **** off
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 02:39   #8
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...japanese schoolgirls....

damn battle royal was good...

sigh
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 16:40   #9
InTGuRu
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Quote:
Originally posted by eXcessum
Newt's forums account is banned

but I'll post on his behalf ... **** off
lol why is he banned
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[19:36:04] <Vaporizer> he is re-assuring isn't he...you can always think 'at least you're not intguru'

[15:02:56] <Newt|revising> ive got u in my siggy InTGuRu!!!!!!!
[15:03:00] <Newt|revising> u shud return the favour
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 16:41   #10
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Question
Who is he, exactly?
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 17:44   #11
eXcessum
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Quote:
Originally posted by InTGuRu
lol why is he banned
he posted a thread for the infamous banned Shai-Gar. Thread included nothing but details about his pa-account ... but his flatmate JC` reported him and someone banned him immediately

Quote:
Originally posted by Marilyn Manson
Who is he, exactly?
the nearest a human being will ever get to being (a) God in a lot of peoples' eyes on IRC. Newt is their only reason for living.
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 17:46   #12
InTGuRu
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Quote:
Originally posted by eXcessum
[b]he posted a thread for the infamous banned Shai-Gar. Thread included nothing but details about his pa-account ... but his flatmate JC` reported him and someone banned him immediately
yeah, posting for a banned member is bad, wouldn't you agree, Newt?
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[19:36:04] <Vaporizer> he is re-assuring isn't he...you can always think 'at least you're not intguru'

[15:02:56] <Newt|revising> ive got u in my siggy InTGuRu!!!!!!!
[15:03:00] <Newt|revising> u shud return the favour
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 17:47   #13
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Get him to eat sh*t live on webcam. It could be pay-per-poo.
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 17:48   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by eXcessum
Newt's forums account is banned

but I'll post on his behalf ... **** off
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 17:53   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by eXcessum
the nearest a human being will ever get to being (a) God in a lot of peoples' eyes on IRC. Newt is their only reason for living.
Dont be stoopid, he's just a fat cnut aint he?
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 17:56   #16
Pyr0 MK III
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Quote:
Originally posted by eXcessum
but his flatmate JC` reported him and someone banned him immediately
What a chum
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 18:21   #17
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i wont hear anything bad about JC, eh
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 18:30   #18
InTGuRu
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Quote:
Originally posted by CrashTester
Dont be stoopid, he's just a fat cnut aint he?
just more of him to love...and to share with his many lovers
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[19:36:04] <Vaporizer> he is re-assuring isn't he...you can always think 'at least you're not intguru'

[15:02:56] <Newt|revising> ive got u in my siggy InTGuRu!!!!!!!
[15:03:00] <Newt|revising> u shud return the favour
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Unread 26 Jul 2003, 19:58   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by eXcessum

In response to the banning question apologies for actions that have to be taken but shaigar is one of those people that will not be allowed back into this community again.







PS I suggest walking around with a sign saying you have a deadly disease and start begging for money. If anyone passes you by and doesn't give you any change pick up your sign and run after them coughing and sneezing in their direction.
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Unread 27 Jul 2003, 00:24   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by CrashTester
Dont be stoopid, he's just a fat cnut aint he?
so Newt gets banned instantly for posting a harmless thread which he didnt know was against the rules (although if he had thought about it ...)

whereas you can go around calling ppl fat ****s, or fat cnuts if you're particularly bad at typing and not even get a warning?



the world has gone crazy
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Unread 27 Jul 2003, 00:33   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by eXcessum
so Newt gets banned instantly for posting a harmless thread which he didnt know was against the rules (although if he had thought about it ...)

whereas you can go around calling ppl fat ****s, or fat cnuts if you're particularly bad at typing and not even get a warning?



the world has gone crazy


Don't worry. He's getting banned soon as well. (And in fairness ignorance is not an excuse).
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Unread 27 Jul 2003, 00:39   #22
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yes, but a warning would perhaps have been a better route to take? I'm pretty sure Newt hadn't broken any other rules at all in his illustrious life on the pa-forums before that moment.

seems a bit harsh.
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Unread 27 Jul 2003, 00:40   #23
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What did he actually do? I forget
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Unread 27 Jul 2003, 00:45   #24
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shai-gar asked him to post a thread for him on GD ... containing info of his r9.5 planet details and a few other pa-related bits n bobs.

Fairly sure Newt knew shai-gar was banned, but didnt really think a harmless thread like that would constitute a banning.

I for one agree with him
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Unread 27 Jul 2003, 01:29   #25
InTGuRu
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hmm, knowing how much Newt loves anime, he should do some cosplay
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[19:36:04] <Vaporizer> he is re-assuring isn't he...you can always think 'at least you're not intguru'

[15:02:56] <Newt|revising> ive got u in my siggy InTGuRu!!!!!!!
[15:03:00] <Newt|revising> u shud return the favour
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Unread 27 Jul 2003, 01:34   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by JonnyBGood
Don't worry. He's getting banned soon as well. (And in fairness ignorance is not an excuse).
Do you know something I dont? Or just throwing your weight around?
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Unread 31 Jul 2003, 18:29   #27
JC
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JC is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himJC is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himJC is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himJC is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himJC is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himJC is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himJC is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himJC is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himJC is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himJC is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like himJC is an inspiration to us all and we should try to be more like him
Quote:
Originally posted by Deffeh
i wont hear anything bad about JC, eh
Cheers mate!

Newt (i guess thats you using eXcessum) - shut it .






Sorry for bumping been away for 2 weeks but just had to thank Mr Deffeh.
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Unread 31 Jul 2003, 19:35   #28
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Exclamation
Quote:
Originally posted by eXcessum
the nearest a human being will ever get to being (a) God in a lot of peoples' eyes on IRC. Newt is their only reason for living.
They sound like they really need to get out more.
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