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27 Mar 2005, 02:03
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#1
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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I am so great with women
Was out last night.
Standing at the bar this woman comes up to me and tells me that im the most gorgeous guy she's ever seen.
I stood there waiting for the punchline but it turns out she was serious.
Another opportunity missed.
:ohwell:
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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27 Mar 2005, 02:16
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#2
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: I am so great with women
ITT I wait for Belgy to reply, so I can laugh at him laughing at Dace.
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Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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27 Mar 2005, 02:17
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#3
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Next goal wins!
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: London
Posts: 5,406
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Re: I am so great with women
lolling on line
although its terrible as its the kind of thing id do.
so you just stood there gaping?
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bastard bastard bastard bastard
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27 Mar 2005, 02:19
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#4
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: I am so great with women
If youd responded, by the end of the night youd have found out she was a man*
*it still wouldnt stop you, but it would have been funny.
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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27 Mar 2005, 02:21
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#5
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Insanely Insignificant
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bournemouth
Posts: 1,056
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Re: I am so great with women
'Kids Say the Funniest Things' etc
__________________
Very nearly there.
All is nothing, without you.
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27 Mar 2005, 02:33
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#6
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: I am so great with women
SO, WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE PUNCHLINE? POLL LATER FOLKS !
ROLL UP, ROLL UP, SUBMIT YOUR ENTRIES HERE!
I'll start wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiith:
"Didn't you know I was going to be here tonight son?"
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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27 Mar 2005, 03:57
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#7
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deepflow
so you just stood there gaping?
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I can't really remember so good.
I think i went "errrrrrrrr errrrrrrrr ha ha yeah errrrrrrrrrrrr thanks"
Then i smiled at her in complete beweliderment.
Was in the pub for a while after that.
On the way out the door i spied her (tbh i thought she'd left) and went and spoke to her for a bit.
She was 29 and quite nice looking.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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27 Mar 2005, 04:04
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#8
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: I am so great with women
Ohhhhh also on the way to that pub some random hot foreign bird tried to stop me and ask for directions.
I was having none of it tho and blanked her.
I think i was exuding sexual magnetism or something last night.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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27 Mar 2005, 04:13
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#9
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Miles Teg
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Dom City
Posts: 5,192
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Re: I am so great with women
apparently i was chatted up by a 16 year old today, fortunately, i didn't give in, as i was out with my whole team
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Audentes Fortuna Iuvat
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27 Mar 2005, 04:20
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#10
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Black Power MotherF*ckas!
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: JAPAN
Posts: 1,812
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Re: I am so great with women
Technically, if this is a true story, it means that you have not reached a point to where you are acting desperatly. So thats a good thing. Live life. Just try not to miss to many oppourtunities, then you'd be a lamer. Or a "No sex" getter. Those guys aren't winners.
BUT YOU ALWAYS HAVE THE FORUMS. To fall back on.
__________________
Ascendancy
When Doves Cry
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27 Mar 2005, 04:23
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#11
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: I am so great with women
You should have asked her for the privilege of this dance*
*blowjob.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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27 Mar 2005, 04:29
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#12
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight Theamion
apparently i was chatted up by a 16 year old
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boy with a crackin' arse and i was tempted but i decided not to out myself infront of my team
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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27 Mar 2005, 04:29
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#13
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight Theamion
apparently i was chatted up by a 16 year old ...
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__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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27 Mar 2005, 10:09
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#14
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight Theamion
apparently i
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'm a really big fag.
Am I doing this right?
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27 Mar 2005, 10:16
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#15
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Synaptidian
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 256
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight Theamion
apparently i was chatted up by a 16 strong squad of male rugby players tonight
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__________________
#eXcessum forever \o/
<vampy> Cheek is 1337
<Zeus> Cheek is 1337 <-- maybe?
<idimmu> Cheek is 1337
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27 Mar 2005, 11:45
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#16
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Lonely analytic
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 2,390
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight Theamion
apparently i was chatted up by a 16 year old today, fortunately, i didn't give in, as i was out with my whole team
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And then you woke up with your thumb in your mouth.
Or god knows what you perverts take to bed with you...
__________________
For real
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27 Mar 2005, 11:48
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#17
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Lonely analytic
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 2,390
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight Theamion
apparently i was chatted up by a 16 year old today, fortunately, i didn't give in, as i was making out with my whole team
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fixed
btw this apparantly thing hints you were too busy to notice it yourself... Elaborate, by all means.
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For real
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27 Mar 2005, 14:24
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#18
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Miles Teg
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Dom City
Posts: 5,192
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Re: I am so great with women
well i was just talking with her a bit while i was eying another girl who was in the pub and i was talking with her and then checking out other girls .... basically i was never intrested, but at a moment she asked me if i wanted to 'walk her to her bike' and i said that i might do that another time ....
__________________
Audentes Fortuna Iuvat
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27 Mar 2005, 15:52
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#19
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,635
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Re: I am so great with women
:laugh:
Think of all the times you've sat with your mates or on your own thinking 'shit how can i engage conversation', and then, when someone actually starts conversation with you, you blank!
You should have just asked her if she wanted to meet for a coffee or some other drink sometime.
Sounds like you had a good night.
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27 Mar 2005, 15:53
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#20
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,635
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight Theamion
well i was just talking with her a bit while i was eying another girl who was in the pub and i was talking with her and then checking out other girls .... basically i was never intrested, but at a moment she asked me if i wanted to 'walk her to her bike' and i said that i might do that another time ....
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You gentleman you!
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27 Mar 2005, 16:01
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#21
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Miles Teg
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Dom City
Posts: 5,192
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Weeks
:laugh:
Think of all the times you've sat with your mates or on your own thinking 'shit how can i engage conversation', and then, when someone actually starts conversation with you, you blank!
You should have just asked her if she wanted to meet for a coffee or some other drink sometime.
Sounds like you had a good night.
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i'll prolly see her enough at the hockeyclub anyway .... but really, i am not that intrested nor desperate
and yeah, last night was fun, including the feeding frenzy at the end of the night
[edit: you prolly mean dace tho]
__________________
Audentes Fortuna Iuvat
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27 Mar 2005, 18:39
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#22
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,635
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Re: I am so great with women
It was aimed at both of you really, although more Dace.
In future, if there's a reference to hockey being a nonces sport, then it's probably aimed at you. Also, I replied to your 'she asked me to walk her home -i didn't, and now she's on the missing persons list' post calling you ungentlemanly to which you failed to reply. And, 'feeding frenzy'? Is this a common thing in holland, I take it you're eating food and not people? Also, I was in Amsterdam/Rotterdam last week, and you people are crazily tall. What the hell is up with that?
<3.
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27 Mar 2005, 20:08
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#23
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Lucky
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: -
Posts: 3,830
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Re: I am so great with women
dutch people are the tallest on earth.
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27 Mar 2005, 20:13
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#24
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,635
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Re: I am so great with women
The flight staff on airplane home even seated the dutch at the front of the airplane so they had enough leg room.
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27 Mar 2005, 20:50
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#25
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Evil inside
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 3,631
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by KoeN
dutch people are the tallest on earth.
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You know how tall the average dutch male is?
__________________
<Germania>but you called Fury a bully, and that is terribly unfair
<Hicks>Occassionally individuals do things without Executive consent
<Dreadnought>You cant whois on Eclipse server without a registered nic, which mr ****stirrer doesnt have.
<Almeida> well i like to grow fat myself too, and when i have enough ships then i can engage in big battles
<Nantoz> Zhukov for Lord Protector!
<Jakiri> (Windows)XP was fine on release
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27 Mar 2005, 20:51
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#26
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Lucky
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: -
Posts: 3,830
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by G.K Zhukov
You know how tall the average dutch male is?
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www.google.com
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27 Mar 2005, 20:56
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#27
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Evil inside
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 3,631
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Re: I am so great with women
Damn.
1.83 according to tha internett.
Norwegian males are 1.82cm on average, according to the Ministry of Incompence (aka Ministry of Defence).
__________________
<Germania>but you called Fury a bully, and that is terribly unfair
<Hicks>Occassionally individuals do things without Executive consent
<Dreadnought>You cant whois on Eclipse server without a registered nic, which mr ****stirrer doesnt have.
<Almeida> well i like to grow fat myself too, and when i have enough ships then i can engage in big battles
<Nantoz> Zhukov for Lord Protector!
<Jakiri> (Windows)XP was fine on release
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27 Mar 2005, 21:39
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#28
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share the <3
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Location: Location:
Posts: 2,709
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by KoeN
dutch people are the tallest on earth.
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all the short people drowned
__________________
Sophie is hotter than you
though ive gone off her now; the way Susanna Reid squirms around on sml is, however, awesome
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27 Mar 2005, 21:43
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#29
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,174
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Re: I am so great with women
potw.
__________________
If one person is in delusion, they're called insane.
If many people are in delusion, it's called a religion.
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27 Mar 2005, 21:52
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#30
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nusselt
all the short people drowned
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Evolution in action \o/
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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28 Mar 2005, 14:31
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#31
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
Standing at the bar this woman comes up to me and tells me that im the most gorgeous guy she's ever seen....
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...she then went on to finish removing the bandages from her miraculous eye surgery.
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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28 Mar 2005, 14:32
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#32
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
Standing at the bar this woman comes up to me and tells me that im the most gorgeous guy she's ever seen....
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...before walking right into a wall.
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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28 Mar 2005, 14:33
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#33
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
Standing at the bar this woman comes up to me and tells me that im the most gorgeous guy she's ever seen....
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... then her guide dog bit me on the leg and I had to hobble off.
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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28 Mar 2005, 14:34
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#34
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
Standing at the bar this woman comes up to me and tells me that im the most gorgeous guy she's ever seen....
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... Then I realised it wasn't lager I was drinking, it was Invisibility Man Juice
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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28 Mar 2005, 14:37
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#35
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Aardvark is a funny word
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: I'm No Nino Rota
Posts: 5,923
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by G.K Zhukov
the Ministry of Incompence
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i so want this to exist and with this spelling
__________________
Efficiency, efficiency they say
Get to know the date and tell the time of day
As the crowds begin complaining
How the Beaujolais is raining
Down on darkened meetings on the Champs Élysées
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28 Mar 2005, 14:49
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#36
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Evil inside
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 3,631
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
i so want this to exist and with this spelling
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They are not likely to manage to be within bugdet the next decade.
__________________
<Germania>but you called Fury a bully, and that is terribly unfair
<Hicks>Occassionally individuals do things without Executive consent
<Dreadnought>You cant whois on Eclipse server without a registered nic, which mr ****stirrer doesnt have.
<Almeida> well i like to grow fat myself too, and when i have enough ships then i can engage in big battles
<Nantoz> Zhukov for Lord Protector!
<Jakiri> (Windows)XP was fine on release
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28 Mar 2005, 19:24
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#37
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: I am so great with women
I spent the last 48 hours in bed with my ex-girlfriend. It was very nice
Shame she's going back to Spain on wednesday so I won't see her again til July
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28 Mar 2005, 19:43
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#38
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: I am so great with women
At least you'll have her STD's to keep you company and remind you of her until she comes back.
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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28 Mar 2005, 19:57
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#39
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: I am so great with women
There was a young man named Ste
Who found that it hurt to go pee
He'd got syphalis
From a certain young miss
Who'd got it from a man from the sea
FLAWLESS VICTORY!!!
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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28 Mar 2005, 20:32
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#40
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Reservoir Dog
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Down South,England
Posts: 613
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Re: I am so great with women
Were you wearing Lynx?
__________________
verTIGO | Ascendancy (For Life) | NewDawn | Elysium | Angel's | eXilition | Ministry (Honoury)
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28 Mar 2005, 20:36
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#41
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: I am so great with women
nope
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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28 Mar 2005, 20:41
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#42
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Twisted
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Down with the sickness
Posts: 2,484
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Re: I am so great with women
Brut?
__________________
Me
In my sleep I grind my teeth.
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28 Mar 2005, 20:41
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#43
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Reservoir Dog
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Down South,England
Posts: 613
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Re: I am so great with women
damm, if you were you could have marketed Lynx and made a mint. Back to Online Poker for you.
__________________
verTIGO | Ascendancy (For Life) | NewDawn | Elysium | Angel's | eXilition | Ministry (Honoury)
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28 Mar 2005, 20:43
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#44
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: I am so great with women
Gillette anti-persperant & deoderant and the warm sweet smell of beer.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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28 Mar 2005, 20:45
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#45
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Reservoir Dog
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Down South,England
Posts: 613
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Re: I am so great with women
lol, i'll have to try that combination when I next go out on the toon.
If it doesn't work im coming for you though.
__________________
verTIGO | Ascendancy (For Life) | NewDawn | Elysium | Angel's | eXilition | Ministry (Honoury)
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28 Mar 2005, 20:46
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#46
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Canadian to the Core
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,004
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
I stood there waiting for the punchline
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Was I the only one that caught the punch line?
Quote:
Standing at the bar this woman comes up to me and tells me that im the most gorgeous guy she's ever seen
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Nuff said
__________________
[DTA] Forever
r2-5 [LOST] - r6 [Instinct] - r7-8 [Titans] -r9 [Olympians] -DC
r10 [Elysium] -DC - r11-12 [MISTU] -DC/IA - r13-15 [Angels] - DC
r18-19 [eXi]
<Intermission>
r31-32 [CT] - r33-35 [DLR] - r36 [VsN] - r37 [???]
r45-46 [FAnG]
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28 Mar 2005, 20:51
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#47
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: I am so great with women
Well i was smelling quite strongly of beer (i think).
Earlier in the night it was my round and one of my friends (Laurie) said:
"i don't want Tennents"
to which i said:
"i didnt get you Tennents last time you c*nt"
to which he said:
"well if you buy me it im pouring it over you"
to which i said:
"yeah yeah Laurie whatever"
and then i laughed.
So i went up to the bar and bought 3 pints.
2 of budvar and 1 of tennents.
Pint of Budvar for me and another friend PK.
Pint of tennents for Laurie.
Then Laurie poured a third of his pint over me.
I laughed and told Laurie he was gay.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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28 Mar 2005, 20:54
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#48
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Canadian to the Core
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,004
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Re: I am so great with women
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
I laughed and told Laurie he was gay.
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"Laurie" is a guy? I think he's gay by default
__________________
[DTA] Forever
r2-5 [LOST] - r6 [Instinct] - r7-8 [Titans] -r9 [Olympians] -DC
r10 [Elysium] -DC - r11-12 [MISTU] -DC/IA - r13-15 [Angels] - DC
r18-19 [eXi]
<Intermission>
r31-32 [CT] - r33-35 [DLR] - r36 [VsN] - r37 [???]
r45-46 [FAnG]
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28 Mar 2005, 20:59
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#49
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: I am so great with women
Hang on, I think we're missing something here.
You stink of beer, your clothes/hair are covered in beer. Someone pours beer all over you and you don't punch them. Then this woman walks up and says:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skanky old whore
You're the most gorgeous guy I've ever seen
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What exactly did this woman look like?
COS SHE SURE SOUNDS CLASSY TO ME, OH YES INDEED
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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28 Mar 2005, 21:05
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#50
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: I am so great with women
The beer was poured over my head.
My hair is shaved.
Most of it just spilled off to the floor and i washed my face/head afterwards *shrug*
As to not punching Laurie - he's a m8 and i figured we were about even and tbh i didnt wanna get us thrown out.
The beer pouring incident happened in an earlier pub from the being chatted up incident.
The girl was, as i previously stated, nice looking btw.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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