decided it was time to go downstairs and get some crisps before i went to bed. Little did i know the calamity was about to unfold in front of me
On the way down the attic ladders, i stood on a pin which went straight into the sole of my foot
On the way down the stairs i half slipped, gripped the electric whisk i was holding in my hand, and chibbed myself in the face with it.
I then kicked a suitcase full force by accident, ****ing my foot.
I put on the bathroom light so i could go for a wizz on the way back from the kitchen. The entire downstairs lights fused.
I opened the crisp cupboard, and the door fell off. (admittedly, my brother broke one of the hinges earlier, but i pulled the thing right off.
I turned around, and walked back through the hall. Decked it right over the same ****ing suitcase, and scraped my hand against the rough edge of the door.
Hearing a mew, i thought id crushed the cat with the suitcase. I quickly lifted it up, saw nothing, and promptly dropped it on my foot.
I limped upsairs laughing
Bad things happen in multiples
Deal with it.
And yes, this story is fully factual.