The star ship Idiot

[Mad cat]

hears the loud shlukk noise and turns around and sees the flying paper

oh my, paper, in large amouts

finds a dark corner, and stabs the dark leaving a small but quickly growing hole of bright that drips light

[Evil_Ginge]

:: yawns and starts firing at a couple of ensigns ::

[flapjack]

*flapjack sends the security droids, armed with cheeseflingers, at ginge, where they start a cheesefight with him*

[Evil_Ginge]

:: destroys the droids with the ships security guns ::

do you not remember i control everything

[Wo2]

*Wo2 notices the blob begining to move, so he follows. He takes off down the hall after a giant, cleaning blob.*

"One side people. Don't get in the way of my blob."

[flapjack]

Originally Posted by Evil_Ginge

:: destroys the droids with the ships security guns ::

do you not remember i control everything

actaully, if you had bothered to read, i'm the computer system, you're disconnected

[Breezer]

*Breezer finds an open air duct and starts crawling around in it james bond style. He then realizes he is missing the cool music and starts humming it to himself as he goes*

[flapjack]

hmm, i think deck 14 needs a little cooling down

*flapjack starts flushing the air ducts on deck 14 with liquid nitrogen*

[Demon Dave]

*DD sees the giant cleaning blob coming towards him, however his mind was thinking of how many sweets could be stored in the cargo bay, and how much DD could sell them for to make the highest profit, causing him to get sucked into the blob*

[Breezer]

*Breezer hears the unmistakable sound of the emergency air duct cool down system being activated and the rush of liquid nitrogen in the ducts ahead. He scoots over to the nearest vent and pounds it with all his might, knocking the vent out and bruising his hand. He drops down into someones bunk and runs out the door and closes it behind him*

[J-Kama-Ka-C]

(I should post more here, lol - I'll get back to doing that soon. Though the forum tool stuff, tells me I've done so 385 times already. Accounting for about 16% of the thread )

(Edit - Oh dear, that means 46% of my post count is locked in here alone )

[flapjack]

we should have this entire thread deleted, just to bother you !

[Wo2]

[ooc] Hisssss..... Never. You shall not harm my precious creation. [ooc/]

*Wo2 followed the blob closely, admiring it's work, when he heard a schlurp noise and saw DD floating around in the blob. Wo2 was momentarliy confused, if DD wanted to be clean why didn't he just take a shower. Wo2 deiced to get DD out, so he reached in and pulled him out by his hair. When DD finaly came out Wo2 noted how blindinly shiny he was and pushed him back in so he wouldn't go blind.*

"OWWW....MY EYES!!!."

[Evil_Ginge]

:; reconnects himself to the computer and activates the "purge flapjack" program which removes all traces of flapjack from the computer, even if it means ejecting the computer core and creating a new one ::

[flapjack]

*flapjack resists ginge and simply disconnects all remote terminals to make sure ginge can't get in*

ha, i'm the computer, you were just implanted into the control programs, i am the control programs

[Demon Dave]

*DD hears the wailing of pain from wo2 momentarily as he is pulled from the blob*

"Wow, i never knew i had that kind of effect on people"

[KillGhost]

/me takes out his schlong and swings it around. Hidihoo ranger, and rides out in the darkness of the night.

[Wo2]

[ooc] Your all gonna hate me for this. [/ooc]

*Wo2 looks out the window and sees a gaint robot thing made out of styraphome. He squints a see's the words "Power Rangers" plastered to the front of it.*

What the...

[Wo2]

[ooc] I take it I was right [/ooc]

*The big bot thing begins to do a bunch of over exzagerated ninja-wanna-be stances and then begins to move towards the SSI.*

Bot: "Look it's our evil arch nemisis's escape craft. We must bring him to justic."

*Wo2 looks back at the floor and begins to sweep his way to the otherside of the ship."

"I ain't seen nothing."

[flapjack]

*flapjack wonders what that stupid bot is talking about, seeing as there is no ship other then the idiot and the bot anywhere within 25 lightyears of the idiot, flapjack then realises that the idiot must be considered the escape ship and thus sounds the alarms inside the ship, hoping somebody would bother to look at a computer screen to see a couple of thousand warnings*

[Demon Dave]

*DD floats around in the blob a bit and wonders what all the flashing lights and sirens where for*

"Let me out somebody, i'm getting bored in here!!!"

[flapjack]

*flapjack aims an internal defense turret at the blob and starts to pound away at it with plasma blasts and energy cannons*

[Demon Dave]

*DD whinches as he is suddenly hit by plasma blast. He looks around and sees one of the internal security cannons pointing at him, and firing again*

"OUUUCH!!!!! HEY QUIT THAT!!!!!! OWWWWWW!!!!!"

[Mad cat]

sees comp terminal

huh? wassis? wat goin on? looks out a window and sees styrophome bot thing

WTF?!??! aaa! nooooo BAD!!

finds a fire hose and attaches a large high pressure tank of gasoline and pokes it out a hole in ship then opens the nozzle

napalm for all!

[Wo2]

*Wo2, as he sweeps, comes arcoss a Large room with a "Warning: Battle Mech Inside." sign on the door. This could be useful, thought Wo2, so he opened the door and hoped in. Seconds later he was flying outside of the ship haveing a fun ride."

"WEEE-HEHEHE Oh so much fun. YAY... What the..."

*Several red lights begin to go mad as he passes the large styrophome bot."

Comp: Warning Proximity alert.

Wo2: who said that?

[Io Cor]

*appears in the dark background in the mech with Wo2*

"I've been expecting you Mr. Janitor!.."

*his hand pulls up and aims the anti-matter blaster at the janitor*

"you're the one that swept up my remains!...if it hadnt of been for them pathetic Florions, I'd not of gotten my revenge!..you know how much it hurts to be swept up after being charred and then frozen to the bone?!...anyways...now I must destroy you!!!!"

*he pulls the trigger, and a soft pop sound is all that happens*

"ahhh not again!...guess I'll just start hitting buttons then!"

[okiN]

*okiN wanders out of the endless innards of the ship, having disappeared for months on end, foraging and assaulting vending machines to survive. However, after long periods away from civilization, his vocal skills have deteriorated and he only remembers a few words of english. His clothes are also torn and partially discarded as impractical, and he has a long beard and hair about a metre long* "Mitäs täällä sitten? Päästiinkös viimein ihmisten ilmoille?"

[Wo2]

*The janitor was completly oblivious to the impending doom until he heard a "pop" noise and smelled a little puff of smoke. Unbuckling himself from the ****pit he reachs to the roof and scrubs viscously at the spot where the smoke touched before it disappated. He stands back and smiles at the shining surface. He then turns and sees Io Cor pressing buttons.*

"What the... Who the heck are you? How did you get in here? And was that smoke you?"

*Wo2 glares at Io Cor.*

[Io Cor]

*laughs meniacly as the entire mech starts to glow with the flashing buttons*

"I will kill us both infernal Janitor!!!!...Muhuhuhuhuahhahahahaaaa!!!!"

[Wo2]

*wo2 sees him touch all the buttons with his greasy fingers and just about goes besrerk.*

"ARGHHHH... Greasy Fingers all over my nice nice nice clean controll panel. BACK INFERNAL DEMON OF DIRT"

*With that wo2 whips out some Windex and begins to polish the buttons, at the smae time pressing even more, and gives the drak strange a quick spurt of windex in his face.
The mech begins to rocket through space, looping around the SSI and royaly confusing the Power Rangers bot. The mech comes about on a impossibly hatd 670 degree flip-loop-spin thing and begins to rocket towards the bot. One of the two men hits the weapon button, turning the styraphome bot into a cloud of white puffy things.*

[okiN]

*okiN finds a sign that says "Mess hall". He is not sure what it means, but vaguely remembers that it is somehow associated with food. He follows the signs until he reaches the cafeteria. Smelling something edible, he rushes to the counter. However, he has trouble getting the lids off the metal thingies with the food in them without burning his hands, and gets frustrated. Due to the aforementioned frustration, the counter ends up having itself most righteously trashed with a rolling pin, leaving food all over the floor and walls, and even some on the ceiling. okiN scoops some of it up with his hands and into his mouth, but decides that the concoction is hardly palatable. He wanders back into the corridors and begins to search for another vending machine to prey upon*

[Demon Dave]

*After several hours of bashing at the sides of the giant cleaning blob, DD finally gets himself free, only to see Wo2 in some sort of mech flying widly about*

"What the hell...?"

[flapjack]

<computer> WARNING, nutcased large mecha controlled by a mad janitor and an even worse random button presser is dangerously close to the outerhull, please take destruct... err, evasive action

[Io Cor]

(^.^ almost on the 2500th post people!!! now we all have to make useless posts that have nothing to do with the thread to get to the 2500th!!! ^.^...anyways...happy 2500th Post people....[cause for celebreation...now celebreate!!!!])

*manages to avoid the windex and it hits his blaster, it disintigrates into a pile of sludge on the floor, which quickly starts to eat away corrosively at the mech!*

^.^

*turns and pushes the big button that says "EJECT" he smiles evily, and waits for the janitor to dissappear*

(I'll get more later)

[flapjack]

ooc/ this thread is indeed pretty big, but i'm getting really close to 3000 posts, really fast, only 10 posts after this 1 /ooc

*flapjack waits for someone to actaully stop the big mecha, when it suddenly blows up after ejecting a small pod*

hmm, now who fired the guns?

[Demon Dave]

*DD watches in amazment as the mech explodes right before his eyes, causing him to go momentarily blind*

"MY EYES!!! MY BEUTIFUL EYES!!!!"

*After a few minutes of stumbling about, DD realizes that he only had his eyes shut, and was in fact not blind. Opening his eyes again, DD decides to go and look for the captain, who hasn't been seen for at least a page*

[Io Cor]

*all of a sudden notices that the escape pod was just the ****pit, and he is still with the evil janitor named Wo2, he curses out a long line of curses as they float off into space, he looks through the glass towards the mecha as all the infernal button pressing mustof made it self destruct, for shrapnel is heading their way at this moment*

"aaahhh crraaapp!...now look what you did Janitor!!!!...it's all -your- fault!!!"

*Io quickly grabs Wo2 and holds him against the window, just to cover him from being hit with shrapnel....yah know...human shield and all...*

^.^

[Io Cor]

(*whistles!*...is -any-body gonna reply?..or do I add this thread to my kills?!)

[flapjack]

well, looks to me Wo2 needs to reply to that 1, so i'm not going to do anything yet

[Mad cat]

gets bored of the gasoline and leaves it then walks around untill he finds the empty mech hangar then goes inside and sees a console

mebeh, itl give me another one

pushes buttons nothing happens so mc walks out looking very bored untill he sees shiny dave

ARH! what be that?

puts on sunglasses and still in his armour jumps at dave and squishes him

[Wo2]

[ooc] You'd better not add this to a thread kill. We have no need for petty plots at the SSI!! [ooc/]

*Wo2 notices that he is now being pressed against the glass of the ****pit.*

"Oi... you get smears all over the glass. CUT IT OUT."

*Wo2 reachs into his coverall pockets and whips out his homemade, acidik, cleaning solution. He then reachs up infront of him and prepares to smear the glass with it, with would depressurize the cabin and kill both Io Cor and the Demon Janitor.*

"Stains are bad..."

[Demon Dave]

*As mc leaps through the air towards DD, he suddenly ducks to pick something off of the floor causing mc to fly straight into the airlock. As soon as the computer senses a person in the airlock it automatically closes the inner door and opens the outer hatch, without even waiting to depressurize, blasting mc out into the cold lonely space*

"ooh, a shiny penny!"

[Mad cat]

ooc- HAHA!! picking up pennies thats what i do -00c

uh oh

closes the helmet just before being depressurized and floats for a few seconds

well while im out here lets go say hi to our janitor and co

[flapjack]

*flapjack activates the point-defense system after noticing a small object floating towards the janitor, the Point-defenses immediatly release a barrage of phaser fire into the small object also known as Mad Cat*

[Io Cor]

*sorta floats out in space for a bit, reasons for why he hasnt already died, are unknown ^.^, he does the whole, "swim with your arms in space" routine, and manages to go absolutely nowhere, since there is no friction*

[Wo2]

*Wo2 promptly realizes that he can't breath so he shoves a bottle of pressurized oxygen in his mouth. He then realizes the Io Cor probaly can't breath either so he tosses him a bottle too. After watching MC get vaped by the ships Weapons wo2 watchs as a piece of Shratenle flys towrads his bottle. Putting on a sad expresion wo2 watchs as the bottle is hit. He turns around rapidly trying to plug the hole, but instead he is propeled at rocket speed to the ship and the still open, outer hatch. He hits it and lands inside. He then starts knocking on the inner hatch.*

"Mff...May...Irf...Bref...lrarft...infff?"

[flapjack]

<computer> Warning, unknown object in airlock 14, airlock cycling to match internal enviroment, emergency containment and marine teams to airlock 14.

[okiN]

*okiN is beating up a vending machine somewhere in the ship's hallways, when he hear a distant sound. A "Clump, clump, clump"-sound, like dozens of heavy, armoured feet hitting the metal floor. And it's getting closer. okiN panics and tries to hide, but there's no doors in sight, he doesn't feel strong enough to run away and the sound is getting louder and louder. In a desperate attempt to hide, he crams himself into the busted vending machine, and waits. Suddenly the sounds stop. He hears voices*

"Look, here's another one." "Call maintenance." *Click* "Hello, maintenance? Yeah, we found another vandalized vending machine. Deck eighteen, corridor 163 G. Yeah, send a crew over. Out." *Click* "Who the hell keeps breaking these?" "Probably some punk kids from deck fifteen." "We should install security cameras around them to find out." "Good idea, tell it to the captain when we get back." "Ok, but let's go, we have to get to that airlock." "Roger. Okay, guys, move out!"

*The running starts again, and okiN sees a team of several space marines rush past and continue down the corridor. He cringes back and manages to stay undetected, as he has covered himself with candy wrappers and the like. Not feeling nourished enough after devouring the contents of the machine, he decides to follow the marines in case they're going somewhere where there's food. He begins to jog along the corridor behind the marines*

[Demon Dave]

*DD sees the marines come running down the corridor towards the airlock. As they pass him, the one in charge orders an 'eye's right' and gives a quick salute as they run past*

"That's good work boys, kepp it up"

*DD then continues on down the corridor looking for the captain. Suddenly, he stops dead as his brain suddenly realises that there was something strange about one of the marines. He runs back down the corridor and catches up with the squad*

"HEY YOU!!! STOP!!!!"

*Suddenly the squad stop, turn around and look at Dave*

"Yeah you", *pointing at one of the marines* "Why's that latche on your armour undone?"

*The marine looks down at his armour, apologises to Dave and does the latch up*

"That's better. Alright, on your way"

*DD then turns around and continues again back down the corridor*

[Mad cat]

*respawn*

curses at the destruction of his armour

break stuff iw ill and build new one out of spare parts

tears up a large section of floor and walks off to the engineering section

make new stuff, oh hey i wonder if my big ol' gun is still out there

procedes to the nearest airlock

ooc- 2500th post 4 me! -ooc