|
1 Jul 2003, 04:40
|
#1
|
Shenanigans
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Lucky Denver Mint
Posts: 269
|
Chris & Cybersex
An exerpt from my friend Chris and his lovely cybersex adventures...
pickledcum: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
pickledcum: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, pickledcum.
pickledcum: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
pickledcum: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
pickledcum: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
pickledcum: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 C*ck of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
pickledcum: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
pickledcum: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
pickledcum: I steal your soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of sh*t.
pickledcum: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
pickledcum: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
pickledcum: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
pickledcum: Baby?
__________________
ragey.
"Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills..." - Napoleon Dynamite
i <3 JC
Quote:
Originally posted by JC
lolly roffle
|
|
|
|
1 Jul 2003, 04:42
|
#2
|
Shenanigans
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Lucky Denver Mint
Posts: 269
|
pickledcum: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
pickledcum: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
pickledcum: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
pickledcum: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
pickledcum: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
pickledcum: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
pickledcum: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
pickledcum: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virtility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
pickledcum: Goddam am I hard now.
__________________
ragey.
"Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills..." - Napoleon Dynamite
i <3 JC
Quote:
Originally posted by JC
lolly roffle
|
|
|
|
1 Jul 2003, 04:43
|
#3
|
Shenanigans
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Lucky Denver Mint
Posts: 269
|
pickledcum: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
pickledcum: I've got black hair, brown eyes, I work out once a year.
pickledcum: Also, I have a part time job delivering pizza's for my local Pizza Hut.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
pickledcum: Maybe some other time, when I get a car. You should call up Pizza Hut and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
pickledcum: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Pizza Hut, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
pickledcum: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
pickledcum: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
PAUSE
DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
pickledcum: You can't hurry good pizza.
pickledcum: I'm on my way now though
PAUSE
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
pickledcum: How did you know?
pickledcum: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
pickledcum: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
pickledcum: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
pickledcum: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my jeans with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the f*ck?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of sh*t
DirtyKate: F*ck
__________________
ragey.
"Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills..." - Napoleon Dynamite
i <3 JC
Quote:
Originally posted by JC
lolly roffle
|
|
|
|
1 Jul 2003, 04:59
|
#4
|
I AM OSCAR WILDE
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 364
|
Every prank goes wrong when written out. It's like the meow thing
__________________
[The Illuminati] [ LeetLiekJeffK!!111]
[Naked Oral Sex] | Self Exile Count in Round 11: 12
|
|
|
1 Jul 2003, 05:03
|
#5
|
Shenanigans
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Lucky Denver Mint
Posts: 269
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Auro
Every prank goes wrong when written out. It's like the meow thing
|
Well duh the meow thing totally wouldn't work written out. But seeing as this was never actually "said"; it works.
__________________
ragey.
"Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills..." - Napoleon Dynamite
i <3 JC
Quote:
Originally posted by JC
lolly roffle
|
|
|
|
1 Jul 2003, 05:18
|
#6
|
IRC Lackey
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Somewhere in the dark and nasty regions...
Posts: 1,471
|
i think
they're great
__________________
-Mushroom.
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."
George Bernard Shaw
|
|
|
1 Jul 2003, 06:52
|
#8
|
Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
|
i was going to say 'i've read this before'
and i saw dante's post
i have. it's old :\
__________________
Where ever you go, there you are.
|
|
|
1 Jul 2003, 06:52
|
#9
|
Luminous Flux
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Fargo, ND
Posts: 215
|
Mmm, I gotta load up IRC one of these days, that made me a little hard.
__________________
Cuddley_Battleship
Your neg rep destination.
|
|
|
1 Jul 2003, 06:55
|
#10
|
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
|
old but gold. I haven't seen this before. thanks.
__________________
I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
|
|
|
1 Jul 2003, 06:56
|
#11
|
Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
|
RE? where were you the last time this was posted?
you seem to be coming here less and less. post more fs :P
__________________
Where ever you go, there you are.
|
|
|
1 Jul 2003, 07:09
|
#12
|
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: South Pacific
Posts: 4,911
|
I'm just losing interest, there is less and less here to inspire me
__________________
I think it's time we blow this scene, get everybody and the stuff together..........
ok 3..... 2..... 1.. let's jam
|
|
|
1 Jul 2003, 07:49
|
#13
|
etc.
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Taken.
Posts: 1,602
|
Heh, pld...
__________________
10/20/04 <Dinoman> babies are like a online game... u wery soon get lack of sleep... and u try give em diffrent skills... it allso kills ur social life
|
|
|
1 Jul 2003, 07:54
|
#14
|
Guy next door
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,745
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Radical Edward
I'm just losing interest, there is less and less here to inspire me
|
and where is your brilliant signature?
__________________
..look
|
|
|
1 Jul 2003, 07:59
|
#15
|
J to the C to the A G E
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Scúnthorpe
Posts: 5,583
|
Old but amusing.
|
|
|
1 Jul 2003, 08:43
|
#16
|
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Wearing Speedos
Posts: 1,021
|
pickledcum, now that has put a horrible image in my mind before breakfast.
|
|
|
1 Jul 2003, 10:13
|
#17
|
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,635
|
|
|
|
|
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 00:18.
| |