Planetarion Forums

Alki · 22 Jan 2006, 23:22

So after reading pig's thread about that french chiquette, i decided to try my best to go one step further with the cheesyness, be reminded i tried several cheesy lines to no success. Here is my humble tale:

Walking into the petrol station to pay for the diesel i just put in the car, i see this rather hot checkout girl, its a rather large queue because the petrol station lowered its diesel to 89.9p

so here i am thinking what i can say to this girl here goes:

<checkout bird> that'll be £40 please
<me> *handing over th money*

at this point i totally gave up trying the cheesy line as there was about 30 odd people around and i couldnt be arsed making a cock out of myself she then asks:

<checkout bird> do you have a tesco club card?
<me> no i dont
<checkout bird> would you like one?

then a moment of genious struck me:

<me> what can i get with it
<checkout bird> anything you want really
<me> so i could get your number with it?
<checkout bird> *laughs*

now she literally laughed in my face and i felt an utter cock, cos her collegues were also smirking and i could hear people behind me s******ing away, so here i am turning red like a ****ing tomato:

<me> can i get a receipt please?

yes im trying to get out of there as fast as possible with my head down. So im waiting for the recipt which felt as though it was taking forever, she put the receipt on the counter, and started writing her number down on the back, so i was like 'oh yes score', my face pirked up and i was just looking round with the muggest look on my face thinking 'oh yes who's laughing now bitches' I also took satisfaction from seeing her work collegues jaw drop as she wrote her number, he obviously was to gay to get it

(hah that could be read as he was to gay to get it up)

So ill give her a ring later and arrange somethin, it is rather wierd that these cheesy lines actually work, and i for one am gonna try them more

but all in all cheers pig, i had to out do you and i did, now over to you gd'ers to out do me, i expect decent results

Ste · 22 Jan 2006, 23:25

nice one.

We do need pics though.

pig · 22 Jan 2006, 23:26

Having the balls to say such a thing, 25 litres of diesel £20
Being stupid enough to ask what a clubcard is, Being in the English HE system £1150 pa
Getting a hot girls number and making twats around you jaw drop, priceless

im impressed, i was pissed when I did mine and you did yours in broad daylight infron of people, seriously dude wow!

im going to tescos soon in the hope i can use the same line ;p

Proteus · 22 Jan 2006, 23:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alki

be reminded i tried several cheesy lines to no success.

Much as I enjoyed your success story and congratulate you on your derring-do, I'm sure I can't be the only one who wants to hear more concerning the (presumably entertaining) failures that preceded it.

Appocomaster · 22 Jan 2006, 23:45

Also, is it actually her number?>

furball · 22 Jan 2006, 23:48

Alki, you've replaced pig as my hero

meglamaniac · 22 Jan 2006, 23:58

I bet you any money it goes to Scott Mill's "Fliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirt Divert!" answerphone.

meglamaniac · 23 Jan 2006, 00:00

[edit]
Damn you appoc, now this message looks really random

[/edit]

Scott Mills is the Drivetime (evening) DJ on Radio 1.
Flirt Divert is a "comedy" bit of the show where they play back the strangest messages left to them on the Flirt Divert answerphone.

On that subject, who wants to leave some fake messages?
07774 598 750

pig · 23 Jan 2006, 00:01

I love flirt divert, cracks me up ;p

Appocomaster · 23 Jan 2006, 00:01

haha i realised and deleted the post

I was thinking it was the american service where you can rent answerphones in specific places with preset messages to dump people

Alki · 23 Jan 2006, 00:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by meglamaniac

I bet you any money it goes to Scott Mill's "Fliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirt Divert!" answerphone.

haha, no its not, because i also have that number in my phone, and it didnt appear when i went to save it, so i passed the first test

also think ill leave it till tomorrow to ring her<3

JammyJim · 23 Jan 2006, 00:04

pld dude

i wish i could think of such witty things to say quickly and although it was 'oh my good god did you actually just say that?' kind of line it worked \o/

we need a covert pic so when you meet up with her be sure to take your mobile phone and snap one as she returns from the toilet or something and say you were trying to text

Shyne · 23 Jan 2006, 00:06

That is a quality story !

Alki · 23 Jan 2006, 00:08

yeah, just ordered my new camera v3x phone(yes i had to slip it in somewhere), so hopefully ill get that before i arrange to meet her

Obliterate · 23 Jan 2006, 00:11

What are you gonna say when you ring her?

"Hi, I'm the guy you gave your number to in the Tesco's Garage?"

If that happened to me, which it never would, I would definitely text her instead of ring her I reckon!

Alki · 23 Jan 2006, 00:18

shall i just ring and say, danger danger john sortage

pig · 23 Jan 2006, 00:24

haha the legend that is john sortage

Cannon_Fodder · 23 Jan 2006, 00:36

I'm disappointed with this thread.

You call 89.9 cheap?

Blastoderm · 23 Jan 2006, 13:17

Pld Alki.

You have definitely replaced pig as "Hero".

Knight Theamion · 23 Jan 2006, 13:41

Eh, isn't it rather common, almost obligatory behaviour to chat up the girls at the counter of the supermarket, dvd-rental and the barmaids of the pubs you visit?

Alki · 23 Jan 2006, 13:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by sniborp

I'm disappointed with this thread.

You call 89.9 cheap?

yeah since its usually 92.9 where i live, so its 3p the cheaper to go in the pocket!

Blastoderm · 23 Jan 2006, 13:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Knight Theamion

Eh, isn't it rather common, almost obligatory behaviour to chat up the girls at the counter of the supermarket, dvd-rental and the barmaids of the pubs you visit?

Not unless you're gay and in love with hockey.

Alki · 23 Jan 2006, 13:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Knight Theamion

Eh, isn't it rather common, almost obligatory behaviour to chat up the girls at the counter of the supermarket, dvd-rental and the barmaids of the pubs you visit?

yeah but not with the cheesemeister lines

Dante Hicks · 23 Jan 2006, 14:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Knight Theamion

Eh, isn't it rather common, almost obligatory behaviour to chat up the girls at the counter of the supermarket, dvd-rental and the barmaids of the pubs you visit?

The people who work in the supermarkets near me are invariably ugly, old, mentally ill, fat or "ethnically unsuitable". Or some amalgamation of all those characteristics.

Appocomaster · 23 Jan 2006, 17:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Knight Theamion

Eh, isn't it rather common, almost obligatory behaviour to chat up the girls at the counter of the supermarket, dvd-rental and the barmaids of the pubs you visit?

as a follow up comment, these girls are usually hit on the most and so hardest to get a number from. In Joey terms, if the barmaid is a 6 generally, she's at least an 8 when she's working behind the bar all night.
Alki deserves congratulations!

Tomkat · 23 Jan 2006, 19:15

Well done Alki - that's fantastic.

Breaking the ice and making that first move is the hardest part - hopefully it's all downhill from here. Good luck

IncubusGod · 23 Jan 2006, 19:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

The people who work in the supermarkets near me are invariably ugly, old, mentally ill, fat or "ethnically unsuitable". Or some amalgamation of all those characteristics.

What kind of supermarkets do you shop in?
I've found cashiers and checkout people are invariably younger girls/women who can be quite hot at times.
When in college I worked in a supermarket and the checkout girls were the objects of our affections. The manager clearly had a specific hiring policy. Fit and thin, get the hell in. Fat and ugly, piss off pugsly.

P.S.

great line that one. Well done!

Appocomaster · 23 Jan 2006, 20:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by IncubusGod

What kind of supermarkets do you shop in?
I've found cashiers and checkout people are invariably younger girls/women who can be quite hot at times.
When in college I worked in a supermarket and the checkout girls were the objects of our affections. The manager clearly had a specific hiring policy. Fit and thin, get the hell in. Fat and ugly, piss off pugsly.

P.S.

great line that one. Well done!

Never seen that. A lot of the shop assistants in any of the places I go don't appear to be at the er ... top end of society. Most people at the till seem to be middle aged women.
Maybe you were at a uni were there were hot girls and they all decided to work sparetime at the supermarket at the checkout.

IncubusGod · 23 Jan 2006, 20:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Appocomaster

Never seen that. A lot of the shop assistants in any of the places I go don't appear to be at the er ... top end of society. Most people at the till seem to be middle aged women.
Maybe you were at a uni were there were hot girls and they all decided to work sparetime at the supermarket at the checkout.

Could be that I guess. Nowadays there's a large amount that are eastern european girls. And you know that gene pool has a good hottie %.

Dante Hicks · 23 Jan 2006, 20:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by IncubusGod

What kind of supermarkets do you shop in?

Shit ones designed for poor people to buy "special offers" of heart attack inducing frozen crap in (Iceland, etc).

Although the local Somerfield seems to have a specific policy of employing the deformed and psychologically disturbed, presumably as some sort of Southwark Council sponsored iniative to get them back into the workforce.

There are plenty of (fit) Eastern European girls in London (rock clubs have a fair few on a Friday/Saturday night) but none of them choose to work in the supermarkets of the Walworth Road.

Blastoderm · 24 Jan 2006, 14:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

There are plenty of (fit) Eastern European girls in London ....... but none of them choose to work in the supermarkets of the Walworth Road.

They'd probably be mistaken for prostitutes.

Alki · 27 Jan 2006, 15:19

Just thought id say it turned out she gave me her real number

Just been for lunch and the cinema with her as she had to work this afternoon, it was pretty nice. Being the awesome guy i am, i let her pick the movie, she ended up picking jarheads, which was ok'ish but not really a movie you wanna see on a date, picking the right mvie is essential i should of told her but who's complaignin, we had fun, just had general banter. We were also in the whole cinema by ourselves, its a shame she wasnt as slutty as i had hoped

But we arranged to hook up again on monday, she wanted to go out tomorrow but i said i was going to see the strokes with my 'friends' , if i told her it was a girl i dont think she would of been too please:S pff women.

all in all lets hope for some action on monday

oh any suggestions for things we could? although she will probably pick the place again:\

Nodrog · 27 Jan 2006, 16:36

It irritates me having to take my earphones out to answer questions about clubcards and the like, let alone actually engaging in proper conversation

JonnyBGood · 27 Jan 2006, 16:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alki

oh any suggestions for things we could? although she will probably pick the place again:\

Pick out matching burial plots in the graveyard.

pyirt · 27 Jan 2006, 16:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by IncubusGod

What kind of supermarkets do you shop in?
I've found cashiers and checkout people are invariably younger girls/women who can be quite hot at times.
When in college I worked in a supermarket and the checkout girls were the objects of our affections. The manager clearly had a specific hiring policy. Fit and thin, get the hell in. Fat and ugly, piss off pugsly.

P.S.

great line that one. Well done!

On a similar theme; it`s a well known fact amongst pub Landlords, if you want to sell more beer, just get a pair of tits behind the bar. Works for me.

Yahwe · 27 Jan 2006, 17:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nodrog

It irritates me having to take my earphones out to answer questions about clubcards and the like, let alone actually engaging in proper conversation

no one ever accused you of being Mr Social Skills