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Unread 7 Apr 2003, 23:21   #1
General Geiger
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Iraq's Minister of Information.
I think this guy deserves a medal for making such an irredeemable fool of himself. Hasn't his "briefings" become a brilliant comedy show? The last one was particularly brilliant. He was talking on the street, because his Ministry had been taken by American forces, with gunfire crackling like static in the distance, punctuated occasional large explosions, and he's quite comfortably wearing his supercilious smile and saying "This is not happening! We're not really being invaded and overrun by an army we won't even inflict a hundred losses against! Don't believe your ears! That's just our guns, pounding the enemy to bloody meat with increasing vigour! Prepare the celebrations, for victory is nigh!'

That guy is my hero of this war. Anyone who can talk such utter pigswill in front of a camera with such self-assured conviction deserves some recognition. He should at least do an interview with CNN or the BBC, once this is all over and he's been captured and taken off somewhere.
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Unread 7 Apr 2003, 23:24   #2
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omg i thought i was his only fan!!!!!


personally i want him to matyr himself budd dwyer style
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Unread 7 Apr 2003, 23:26   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nusselt
omg i thought i was his only fan!!!!!


personally i want him to matyr himself budd dwyer style
Who? How? When?

And yes, I want a pin-up.
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Unread 7 Apr 2003, 23:28   #4
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budd dwyer?

go google, he basically hai karated himself live on TV.
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Unread 7 Apr 2003, 23:35   #5
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Be reassured, Baghdad is safe, fortified and great
Looks like someones up for a standing ovation at next years Oscars.

Quote:
"There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!"
I bet he will still be saying this on tv when it comes to the point you can see american commandos tusseling with his body guards in the background.

Quote:
"We made them drink poison last night [Sunday] and Saddam Hussein's soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly."
The three american deaths will never be forgot mate trust me, unlike the thr 3,000 iraqi casualties you've seem to forgoten.

Quote:
"We defeated them yesterday. God willing, I will provide you with more information. I swear by God, I swear by God, those who are staying in Washington and London have thrown these mercenaries in a crematorium."
Your God better be Deaf, or there will be no 49 virgins for you in a months time.

Quote:
"As President Saddam Hussein said: God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis."
Holy ****** iraqis shoot fire out of there hands, if its as good as the crap that comes out of there mouths were screwed.

Quote:
"They transformed the issue into an issue of whether Saddam Hussein, this great leader, uses this building or not. Does he use this bed or not?"
You should know f.ag.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/mid...st/2924129.stm
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 00:03   #6
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I like him, he's great.
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 00:14   #7
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They should give him a show with Ali G.
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 00:17   #8
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 01:02   #9
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He is giving out the propaganda in a much er way then the US (Coalition) dudes are.
They are boring.
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 02:37   #10
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I wanna see Rangers or SAS drop in on him during a boardcast where he's staying "THERE ARE NO AMERICAN OR BRITISH TROOPS IN BAGHDAD!!!" as he's being handcuffed and dragged off by American or british troops
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 04:15   #11
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I think it would be hilarious, if he were making a broadcast, and a US Soldier just walked up behind him whilst he was in full denial mode, tapped him on the shoulder and politely requested he surrender.

Now that would be comedy gold.
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 04:33   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by General Geiger
Who? How? When?

And yes, I want a pin-up.
Quote:
Budd Dwyer

Dwyer reached into a manila envelope and withdrew a loaded .357 Magnum. Chaos broke out as reporters and political aides pleaded with Dwyer to put the gun down, as Dwyer held one hand defensively, and gripped the gun with the other. "Please leave the room, If this will...if this will offend you." He asks, "Stay away....this will hurt someone." Dwyer then put the gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. Reporters called the emergency services, but nothing could be done. Dwyer was announced dead on arrival.
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 06:10   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lord Zor
I wanna see Rangers or SAS drop in on him during a boardcast where he's staying "THERE ARE NO AMERICAN OR BRITISH TROOPS IN BAGHDAD!!!" as he's being handcuffed and dragged off by American or british troops
I can see it now...

As hes being carried away... "These are my escorts, we are going to fight the Infidels on their soil! Allah wills it!"
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 06:14   #14
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he r0x0rs

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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 07:23   #15
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Re: Iraq's Minister of Information.
He rocks

I have heard that Stoek have signed him up to run their tourist department after the war

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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 07:57   #16
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I really hope they don't kill him. having him deny that America has invaded Iraq when he is up for war crimes in the hague will be a hoot.
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 09:07   #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by Radical Edward
I really hope they don't kill him. having him deny that America has invaded Iraq when he is up for war crimes in the hague will be a hoot.
Bah, you stole my line!

It's entirely possible that, if he survives, he'll renounce everything Saddam Hussein ever said and claim he was simply doing his job, and would likely have been executed if he had failed to. He probably has a family too, you know.

Amazing that we're now in a situation where we're forced to say about people, ". . . if they survive".

Also, I'm not sure he's committed any war crimes. He's said that a petty, mass-murdering regime is wonderful, and preordained by God to rule Iraq and push any invaders out, but I'm not sure that's a war crime as such. It's just free speech taken a little too far. We've heard almost as bad in England.
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 09:16   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by General Geiger
Bah, you stole my line!

It's entirely possible that, if he survives, he'll renounce everything Saddam Hussein ever said and claim he was simply doing his job, and would likely have been executed if he had failed to. He probably has a family too, you know.
heh, the question is, would anyone believe him. If he said that the sun was going to come up in the morning I would seriouly question it!

mind you, he seems an okay guy, for some reason I can't help but like him, he would make a good news presenter at any rate.
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 09:43   #19
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he's at it again:

09:25, Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf tells reporters that US forces must surrender or "be burned in their tanks".

silly me, I thought all the americans were dying at the gates of Baghdad, and the media was disseminating lies about tanks being anywhere near the city.
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 10:27   #20
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 14:34   #21
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he's got a cnn article on him now
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 14:46   #22
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That dude has one of the best comdy acts I have ever seen
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 15:24   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tactitus
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The Iraqi Minister of Information could have had a glittering future working for Fifth Season too.
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 16:37   #24
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ah yes
Mr Fairytale, as i've come to call him

handy, because when you say his proper name it sounds like you've got a bad cough...
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 18:15   #25
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Quote:
From the CNN article on Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

He branded the British and U.S. leaders "an international gang of criminal bastards," "blood-sucking bastards," ignorant imperialists, losers and fools.

He do have a point...
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 18:19   #26
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 18:50   #27
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 18:53   #28
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nusselt
budd dwyer?

go google, he basically hai karated himself live on TV.
Freaky video as well

I would have thought the gun would have been louder

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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 19:58   #29
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I think I am hooked on him, every morning the first thing I find myself doing is switching the TV on and looking for his broadcasts.

They seem to kick start my day for me.

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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 20:01   #30
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The BBC should ask him if he wants to do a comedy show. Can't be any worse than half the bollocks they try to pass off as "comedy".
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 20:03   #31
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Quote:
Originally posted by Marilyn Manson
The BBC should ask him if he wants to do a comedy show. Can't be any worse than half the bollocks they try to pass off as "comedy".
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 20:24   #32
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He's quite amusing.
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 20:29   #33
Gayle29uk
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Gayle29uk is just really niceGayle29uk is just really niceGayle29uk is just really niceGayle29uk is just really nice
Quote:
Originally posted by Chrism
He's quite amusing.
Quite amusing? He's bloody hilarious! I know I've mentioned US propoganda once or twice but this guy is going for gold!
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rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch
das blinkenlights!!!
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 20:33   #34
Chrism
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I'm going to name my firstborne child after him*






























*note that the statement above may not be true.
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 20:34   #35
Radical Edward
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Quote:
Originally posted by Judge
I think I am hooked on him, every morning the first thing I find myself doing is switching the TV on and looking for his broadcasts.
me too, unfortunately this usually makes me late to work.... I really want to see an interview after Iraq is taken. I bet the guy has a killer sense of humour...
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 20:39   #36
Doogle
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Hes a star!!

CNN > Hows the war going then?
Iraqi MOC > Much good! Today we destroyed 76 US Tanks, killed 489 US soldiers, and blew up 12 US Aircraft Carriers!
CNN > But what about the US tanks in Bhagdad?
Iraqi MOC > There are none! We destroyed them all!
CNN > Isn’t that a US tank over there?
Iraqi MOC > There? By god we missed one!
CNN > Isn’t that another one behind it?
Iraqi MOC > Where? No that’s a bus!
CNN > Then why is it shooting?
Iraqi MOC > Bus drivers damn them, they always are protesting about working conditions!
CNN > Well its just destroyed a presidential palace
Iraqi MOC > No it hasn’t, and anyway, this is tolerant country, protest is allowed
CNN > What about the Iraqi soldiers abandoning their positions?
Iraqi MOC > That is a lie!
CNN > Well look over there, they’re running away
Iraqi MOC > Over there? No, they are rushing to slaughter Americans!
CNN > But they don’t have any guns
Iraqi MOC > Iraqi heros don’t need guns!
CNN > Then how are they going to fight against the US tanks?
Iraqi MOC > They will tear them apart with their bare hands!
CNN > Isn’t that going to be difficult as the US have air superiority?
Iraqi MOC > Air superiority? That is US propaganda and lies!
CNN > Well isn’t that a US A10 tank buster circling above us?
Iraqi MOC > No! That is a seagull!
CNN > Then why is it dropping bombs?
Iraqi MOC > Those aren’t bombs!
CNN > Well them why are they exploding on impact?
Iraqi MOC > They are not!
CNN >Look, do you really think you have any chance of winning this war?
Iraqi MOC > We will defeat the US invaders! They must surrender or be slaughtered!
CNN > Ok, but how can you fight against such overwhelming odds?
Iraqi MOC > We will massacre the invaders!
CNN > But how?
Iraqi MOC > God willing, we will crush them all!
CNN > Yes but how?
Iraqi MOC > They will burn in their skins!
CNN > Look, your not making any sense now
Iraqi MOC > Die! They will all die!
CNN > Ok, but I can see more US tanks approaching now
Iraqi MOC > They will all be crushed beneath the Iraqi foot!
CNN > This really is the end game for the Sadamn regime isn’t it?
Iraqi MOC > Yeah I suppose your right. **** this crap I’m off
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 20:40   #37
Marilyn Manson
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Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Marilyn Manson has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Exclamation
Blair will hire him soon.
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 20:43   #38
Radical Edward
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Quote:
Originally posted by Marilyn Manson
Blair will hire him soon.
alot of what blair has said lately has been just as believable. but far less funny.

Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf for PM!!!!
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 20:59   #39
Shakky
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Originally posted by xtothez
They should give him a show with Ali G.
lol
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Unread 8 Apr 2003, 22:45   #40
Luckeh!!!!
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Luckeh!!!! will become famous soon enoughLuckeh!!!! will become famous soon enough
Everytime I see him on TV I always think he has been smoking something narcotic
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Unread 9 Apr 2003, 12:42   #41
NEWSBOT3
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

he's run away!

and sky news have just done a piece on him now
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Unread 9 Apr 2003, 12:47   #42
Radical Edward
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and I thought he would have made an excellent contestant, even presenter, for Have I Got News For You.
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Unread 9 Apr 2003, 12:53   #43
NEWSBOT3
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so cool, The Sun has an article on him!
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[20:27:47] <nodrog-aawy> **** i think my housemate just caught me masturbating
[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you
[13:17:00] <KaneED> i'm so closet i'm like narnia
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Unread 9 Apr 2003, 13:19   #44
Nusselt
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heh
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Unread 9 Apr 2003, 16:56   #45
NEWSBOT3
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heh, he now has a t-shirt out !
here
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[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you
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Unread 9 Apr 2003, 16:59   #46
NEWSBOT3
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and more comedy quotes :
Quote:
The authority of the civil defence ... issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps,

I am not talking about the American people and the British people. I am talking about those mercenaries. ... They have started throwing those pencils, but they are not pencils, they are booby traps to kill the children.
Quote:
What they say about a breakthrough [in Najaf] is completely an illusion. They are sending their warplanes to fly very low in order to have vibrations on these sacred places . . . they are trying to crack the buildings by flying low over them
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[20:27:47] <nodrog-aawy> **** i think my housemate just caught me masturbating
[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you
[13:17:00] <KaneED> i'm so closet i'm like narnia
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Unread 9 Apr 2003, 17:02   #47
Judge
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Judge is infamous around these parts
I miss him
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Unread 9 Apr 2003, 17:06   #48
Snurx
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Snurx spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldSnurx spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldSnurx spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldSnurx spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldSnurx spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldSnurx spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldSnurx spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldSnurx spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldSnurx spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldSnurx spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldSnurx spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus would
Maybe we should start a fan club?
:e_chick: <-- Must be our masckot!
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Unread 9 Apr 2003, 17:08   #49
FatboySliM
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comical ali
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Unread 9 Apr 2003, 20:02   #50
NEWSBOT3
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maybe he went to do cheap japanese comedy.
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[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you
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